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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020

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Anonymous 47201[Reply]

My boyfriend is into crossdressing and wants to become a tranner. I said I supported him but he started trying on my clothes and it makes me rather annoyed and uncomfortable. Why do I feel do awkward and uncomfy? What should I do? He seems dysphoric but he also joked about being a kink to him. He also wants me to call him degrading names (like slut, etc.)
26 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47438

>>47201
tell him the truth that femboys > trannies everyday anywhere in this universe. Then say "stop being so autistic". There you go.

Anonymous 47439

>>47377
Because nobody can "become a woman" they only do irreparable damage to their bodies, nobody should want their loved ones to go through that retarded tranny pill scam.

Anonymous 47441

>>47258
exactly

Anonymous 47443

Tell him how you feel first. Why you feel uncomfortable? Because you were with him when he was at his most masculine phase. When he was the straight boyfriend. And that changed, its okay to feel weirded out or grosses out, etc. Because you didn't see this coming and he kinda shattered that hetero boyfriend image of his. In a way kinda ruined the trust between you two.

But let's not get too deep there, maybe you can talk to this with a hetero female or male therapist. They know a lot more about human psyche. If you truly can't accept this new thing of his, please be honest to yourself and make yourself happy and find another hetero stable man. He can find others of his own culture too. You both won't be happy if he presses this stuff onto you and doesn't respect you. And if you don't feel comfortable with him. It's not wrong to find someone who you are comfortable with and who you will understand. If the person I love currently, suddenly or gradually, changed into a similar gender role of mine I too would be weirded out. Remember there is difference between hate and having their own desires. If anyone isn't capable of differentiating between the two, they clearly out of reality. Take care.

Anonymous 47446

1605422765667.jpg

>>47443
literally the only quality post worth reading in this thread



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Anonymous 47088[Reply]

Anon, are you sure you're sure? Because I am not. How do you know what you're feeling, or if you're feeling anything at all? I don't know why I can't understand my own feelings, anyone else feels the same?
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47128

>>47126
Ah, I see. Crying is a healthy way to release emotions, so I hope you can do it again any time soon.

I've been taking them for a couple of months. Maybe three months? Ion know. They're really helpful for me to avoid selfharm and ED thoughts. I'm still empty and passively suicidal, tho.

Anonymous 47129

>>47128
Maybe the more we suffer in this life the better the next life will be.. right..

Oh anon it is not fair that you me or anyone else has to deal with all this and become so used to it the fact other enjoy living is never considered.

Some people wake up every day in love with life and they are happy.
They do not need to rely on crying to feel better.
Imagine thinking that being sad makes you feel the best it makes no sense.

Anonymous 47132

>>47129
Yeah, having to rely on being sad to feel alive is truly not the best way of living.

Sometimes I wish I were in love with something, but I'm fond at best. It's like as if I were living in a lie, when I tell my boyfriend I love him I feel like a liar because I can't feel it, I can hardly feel anything at all. I feel comfortable around him, is that what love is like? I wish I knew, but I don't. My heart is unable to burn, not for anyone, not for anything.

You're so poetic, are you a writer?

Anonymous 47136

this is fine.jpg

>>47132
Do you think we really go numb as a way for our brain to keep us alive at all costs because that is what it seems like we just become so apathetic.
You become like pic related.

How long have you been numb for?
Being numb cements the fact that it is not bad emotions but existence itself that makes life so unbearable but hey I am really pessimistic!
He might not understand what it is like and take it the wrong way if you told him. Maybe you are in love but you just cannot feel it as regular people would right?

Umm I do write but did not mean to come off any which way but thanks anon

Anonymous 47434

__patchouli_knowle…

>>47088
Your post surely makes a lot of points, so I will divide it in a few pieces in case you need my words.
>Anon, are you sure you're sure? Because I am not.
Even if we are in the middle of a pandemic, I am still certain of being sure as I am knowledgeable of what should I do that can: 1) either be an action for my own benefit 2) or an action that I will not regret in the future as it could be considered a "future-proof" action and, inherently related, decision.
How do I know? This is 100% related to the next part.
>How do you know what you're feeling, or if you're feeling anything at all? I don't know why I can't understand my own feelings,
As per the famous quote, "I know that I don't know," it is true that there are some things that we do not know whatsoever.
However, we are in the 21st century and we are now perfectly able to search all over the internet on what do we want to know. So there isn't really a good excuse on not being knowledgeable of whatever topic you may have an interest on; unless you have some kind of disability, and even then, there is still a way to know, for which it is inherent in human nature to know.
Else, we would still be living in a le monke society.

But to answer your question, my own version of the quote I mentioned is:
>I know that I can know
Why? Because there hasn't been a greater, golden age-like present in all the history of humanity where the modern "clergy" (i.e. university professors, higher level professionals, etc.) have been very good-willing in sharing on what they know, as well simplifying it to the level of the "laity" (i.e. the common people) so as to know many of the things we don't know, but, for sure, we can now know about them–even without the need of a psychology degree, or so.

Having this in mind, I will give you the homework of googling what you don't know in order to know and be sure; attempt to find the words to describe what you are feeling, search the said word's definition and its related ideas (e.g. why do I feel that way), and, most importantly, as well the most difficult task, is to attempt to have a higher level of knowledge on your own self and your surroundings so as to be very sure on understanding your own feelings.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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Anonymous 40322[Reply]

>be redhead
>want kids
>if it's a girl, she'll be fetishized by fucking weirdo creeps her whole life and just seen as a sex object
>if its a boy, he'll be tortured and bullied and most likely be a hideous abomination and almost certainly turn into an incel when he grows up
JUST
40 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 46214

a.png

I used to have a dark red/auburn hair color, but for some reason it's lightened to a much more stereotypical ginger/orange color. I'm thinking about dying my hair dark brown, maybe.

Anonymous 46426

I know a ginger boy who is pretty chadish. He's doing well with women and otherwise.

Anonymous 46429

>>40322
If she's a girl and she has feet she'll be fetishized by weirdo creeps her whole life.

What a silly thread.

Anonymous 46513

>>40322
My boyfriend is a ginger and he did get bullied when he was young but he turned into the opposite of an incel. Kind of a bimbo tbqh but the sweetest soul I ever met. Very proud of his red hair and beard, seemingly as a fuck you to his old bullies.

Not surprised his sister dyes her hair black though. She's really attractive so it must be fucking hell to deal with men without the added "does the carpet match the drapes ;)))".

Anonymous 47410

>>46429
If she’s a girl and has amputations she’ll be fetishized.

Truly, men know no bounds.



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Anonymous 47118[Reply]

I was 25 days self-harm free but I ruined it.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47135

>>47134
Ever lay on your back and stare at clouds?
I do stuff like that and like to dance/sway to music in public as I would on my own lel

I went out today sigh..

Anonymous 47144

>>47124
hii anon omg i totally like get what ur going through a bit i used to have this friend group and everything but that got ruined and now im sitting here like lol while they just leave me but its get better trust me !! even tho im still sad asf n shit but maybe try doing something ? if u need music recs im here

Anonymous 47407

I have fallen back into self harm recently too.
I can't help that this is the only thing that lets me feel alive

Anonymous 47408

37734.jpg

Anons that cut, how do you do aftercare? I usually rinse the cuts with sanitizer once they stopped bleeding and then 15 min or so later I rub collagen into the spot. I use the collagen mask even on the "good" days (when I don't sh) to make them heal faster.
Previously I only did sanitizer and they didn't heal as fast as now.

Anonymous 47775

Why do so many of the posters here self harm? Are you fucking retarded?



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Anonymous 46292[Reply]

How can I make my boyfriend appreciate his first time?
He says he doesn't care about firsts and stuff but I want to make him appreciate it?
What should I tell him to make him change his opinion?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 46303

>>46294
Fujo-tier advice. Most straight men would freak out if their first sexual experience included being fondled up the ass, that's for later on and definitely not to be done without talking to him first. A tense bf is not a happy and relaxed bf. I swear some of you have let yaoi rot your brains.

>>46292
You can't change his opinion. If he doesn't care about firsts, that's just how it is. He might be coping because he's afraid of not performing too well, or he doesn't want you to stress out, but unless he outright tells you that, you won't know. I'd try to get to the bottom of it. If he simply doesn't have the same values that you do, then that might be its own problem entirely. But I wouldn't worry too much about it, I think it's always a bigger deal for women emotionally - for men, the first time is more of a point of pride and achievement, whereas for us it's more tinged with vulnerability and commitment. I hope this doesn't mean he won't treat you well during and after, though. If he doesn't care, that's fine, but he should still make an effort to make you feel special.

Anonymous 47360

he lied to you and this is not his first time. By saying "first times are not that important" hes already grooming you into believing it isnt so bad you werent his first for when you will find out

Anonymous 47361

>>46292
If he's a nice guy then he's probably saying this so that you won't feel nervous or pressured to perform well. He's probably feeling a bit nervous himself. Maybe not though, virginity is just a societal construct etc etc.

Make it special by connecting with him? Be gentle and romantic. Look into his eyes and stuff. Sorry if that's kinda gay lmao.

Also please don't put your fingers in his butt.

Anonymous 47363

684198967453.jpg

>>46292
>He says he doesn't care about firsts
He only said that so you wouldn't think that he thinks that you are a whore.

Anonymous 47368

20201113_142424.jp…

Just fuck him anon-chan



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Traumatic Experiences Anonymous 34206[Reply]

What was the most traumatic experience of your childhood (before 20)? I'd say mine was losing my house and a lot of my belongings in a fire.
27 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47280

>>47228
vivo en el norte, amiga.

Anonymous 47284

>>47157 damn what a hero

Anonymous 47301

>>47280
Yo tambien. En Sonora. Ten cuidado nomas no hagas nada estupido nunca y jamas va a haber problemas.

Anonymous 47302

>>47016
>>47148
It's more uncommon that you think but it can happen I guess. The only irl gore I have ever saw was in a transit accident in a highway, it was a dumb driver that got over confident and wanted to possibly overtake the front of the car he was behind and didnt see the bus in the other lane so he ended up crashing against the bus, that's it. His head was pulp thankfully his car was red so the blood spill was hard to see. But that was an accident and the driver's own fault. Seeing a legit crime is another thing…

Anonymous 47365

>>47302
>Seeing a legit crime is another thing…
That's why it freaked me out so much - it was pretty obvious the man had been killed and his head dumped. The city where I live is violent and full of crime, but it tends to be somewhat peaceful in my neighbor. It was pretty shocking to leave my house and discover a decapitated head just a couple of meters(yards for the burgers)away from my house.



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Are you suicidal? Anonymous 48153[Reply]

How do you anons plan to die if you are killing yourself?

Do you think you will likely an hero and is there a reason beyond life just being shit?
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48155

yes, eventually. either an exit bag like anon says, switzerland for dignitas, or if i can somehow get my hands on phenobarbital or something myself. i would probably realistically save up the 10-12k or so for the trip to switzerland to have it done properly and responsibly.

Anonymous 48156

>>48154
What would be a piviotal life moment for you anon?
Do you ever worry that like you just wont kill yourself when your life is fucked?

>>48155
Exit bag sounds nice but with how helium is cut now it is spooky to think of doing that way unless you can make sure it is pure.
I did not think swizzle land would help foreigners?
I am hoping to use SN as it seems to be the best that is easily available.

Are you scared of death anon? I am a little scared but want to die.

Anonymous 48157

>>48153
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_bag
But honestly sometimes I walk to the level crossing near our house and watch the trains rushing by, and imagine stepping in front of one.

Anonymous 48158

I haven't thought much about how I'd like to go. These days I frequently fantasize about a gunshot to the head but that's probably not going to be the way for me. I'd probably use a drug or hang myself. I've never heard of the exit bag method before and it sounds interesting. I do believe that my life will eventually end with suicide due to general depression.

Anonymous 48159

>>48156
What is SN?



sleeping.jpg

Bad dreams Anonymous 47199[Reply]

I had another dream about my old friend who I was close to.
What bad dreams have you had lately anon?
>have they been good
>have they been bad
What are they like when bad or good?
11 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47232

>>47231
Have you ever tried killing yourself in a dream? What happens.
Oh thanks anon I will keep that in mind and may start doing reality checks again.

Anonymous 47234

>>47232
In one of my lucid ones I tried to jump off a high building but I just landed on my feet and everything was pretty fine, it's impossible to feel any pain in a dream. The other time I did it I just glided downwards.
And in my non-lucid one I jumped off a bridge and then woke up immediately.
You could also make someone else kill you in a dream I guess but you'll probably just wake up.

47262

My abusive step father of 7 years was in my dream. I never think of him and I've blocked out most of my experiences. It kinda shook me that I dreamed of him.. the entire time I was screaming at him. I think I have unresolved rage inside me, subconsciously

Anonymous 47282

>>47199
I feel like I have nothing but recurring dreams.

Anonymous 47288

>>47199
>What bad dreams have you had lately anon?
>>have they been good

Come on man

Also all my dreams lately have been me running away from something. It's not scary at all though. It's pretty fun with a lot of parkour. I love the dreams I've been having lately.



cory.jpg

Coming out as lesbian to bf Anonymous 46770[Reply]

I want to break up with my boyfriend as I have realised I'm a lesbian. However, I'm conflicted as I don't have any friends besides him, so I'll be alone if I go through with it.

To give more context, this is my first relationship, and I mostly went out with him because I was lonely. When we met I didn't have any friends and I liked him a lot platonically, but when he developed feelings for me I went along with it because I didn't want to lose him.

Now we've been dating for 2 years, and I've tried my best to convince myself I like him but I just feel unfulfilled. It's not even his fault, since I can't imagine myself being fulfilled in a relationship with any guy.

He's a really nice person so I don't want hurt him, but I feel if I stay with him it would be more dishonest and more likely to hurt him in the long run.

I want to end things in a peaceful way that we can remain friends if he wants, but if he doesn't I'll respect that too. I was kind of hoping he would find someone else, but I can't just wait around hoping that'll happen.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 46864

194.png

Yeah, don't expect to remind afterward, he is going to be you because he basically is "the guy that managed to be so bad at sex that his girlfriend turned lesbian" and everybody will see him that way.

Anonymous 46865

>>46864
>>46864
*Sorry my auto-correct is going apeshit
Yeah, don't expect to stay friend afterward, he is going to hate you because he basically will become "the guy that managed to be so bad at sex that his girlfriend turned lesbian" and everybody will see him that way.

Anonymous 46866

>>46865
That's pretty much what I said…

Anonymous 46868

>>46864
So bad at sex he turned her lesbian is just a joke, at most actualy used towards shitty people.

Anonymous 46870

>>46868
Actually I have seen this in real life.
My dad his friend had a wife that decided she was lesbian and my dad would seriously say he must have turned her gay lolz but he is an idiot so..
Also my aunty had a husband who decided he was gay and left her for another man and people said the same thing.

Honestly just fuck what people think they are so rude judging everyone without knowing anything. (about the people making the gay memes irl not you guys)



Anime.jpg

Anonymous 45526[Reply]

>be me
>21 years
>virgin
>just don´t happend
>it's ok
>think how it will be when it happens
>no cute
>no soft
>no magic
>tears come out of my eyes

I am doomed, my first time will be with someone with more experience than me, it will not be sweet and gentle, it will be hard and wild.
51 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47035

>>47026
Both. Of course female bullies don't physically bully others. This says nothing about how often each sex manipulates the other, and in my experience (and that of nearly everyone I know), it's men by far.

Anonymous 47137

in the same boat anon. i read stories online of girls losing their virginities and how awkward it is, I've used sex toys before so despite being a virgin i doubt i'd bleed, unless it went in really dry and fast. honestly i'd rather stay a virgin forever than go through the horror stories of being pumped and dumped or being in pain after my first time and seen as a trophy. you get to decide who you will be, if sex is something done to you, if it changes you and essentially requires someone to groom you through gentleness and care to not have an adverse reaction, then fuck that. I only think about losing my virginity because it's something i'd want to do with the person i love and it's seen as a pivotal development in any long term relationship, otherwise i'm only curious to disprove the misogynistic idea that thrusting a meat torch in ya fundamentally changes who you are, as if a woman's sense of self is so weak it's a psychological surrender to submission to a guy for the rest of your life. tldr; fuck men, their fucked up sex drive is the reason why shit sucks

Anonymous 47138

Same, but I'm 22. I've really fucked myself over because I'm so used to being a virgin that I think I've made it part of my identity and now I don't know if I want to lose my virginity anymore unless it's really worth it. It's almost as if I feel that it's now a point of pride in myself that I've gone this long without succumbing to the peer pressure of having sex that I don't want to throw it away. Is that fucked up of me to think? I feel the same way about relationships too. I'm so used to being single and telling myself that I'm independent and satisfied that I feel like if I got a boyfriend now I'd just be proving to myself that I'm not as independent as I think.

Anonymous 47139

>>47138
You should just do what makes you happy anon.
You do not need to do anything but try enjoy your time here on earth.

Does your identity as a virgin cause you problems because if not what is the issue.

Anonymous 47140

>>47139
Thanks anon, you're very right. Being a virgin doesn't really bother me much anymore, but I guess it's a bit frustrating because I do wish I could find someone to spend my life with but I just can't seem to connect with anyone. Also it's annoying having some friends/acquaintances who can only talk about boys and sex, but I guess even if I wasn't a virgin it would still annoy me. Anyway you're right, being a virgin/single is not so bad and I should just try to focus on enjoying my life without the angst.



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