/feels/ - Advice & Venting

neeting was fun but now I need to go out and get my hands on some cash and books. I get bored at home. I will earn money downscale then lollygag around the world. I'm hoping going out will give me a clear picture on the topic of being in a relationship. I love summer.

I’m so burnt out and miserable in my life, I try to use writing to escape but I can’t. I want to make a comic more than anything but once I plot out everything and have the script ready and I just have to draw it out all motivation is just… gone. Same with all the other creative projects in my life, I lose all drive to do them and it’s so goddamn frustrating , and I end up abandoning them.

I’ve vastly decreased my social media usage and have been getting decent enough sleep, and I’m an okay artist, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!

I don’t want to be one of those failure artists that just go on social media to joke about how they never actually get anything done, and just talk about their story and never have any real project.

Smfh.

Does anybody know how to get out of this? It’s “first world problems” I know, but I really don’t want the shame and embarrassment hanging over my head years from now.

I think over the years of being too online I have realised that women suffer from porn addiction too but it is not talked about enough. I'm not talking about reading romance novels, fics, yaoi etc. I'm talking about full blown dependency. I know someone from an online community who was looking at Steven Universe nsfw when the next day she had final exams. I used to come from work and waste 2-3 hours everyday looking at weird shit and interacting.
I'm almost there where I break away from my demons and I feel so light these days. It took a lot of journalling and self reflection but I'm satisfied. I cringe at my past self. What brought me to seek improvement was how fast I was adopting fetishes and kinks I never had. But the worst part was losing my focus on work. Its getting better now but I have a long way to go. My cause of issues was my inability to get into romantic relations but instead of trying to form them I replaced it with this.

What are your thoughts on asexuality and identifying as asexual?

Everyone is doing sm better than me and working hard. I need to do better or I will be left behind. Aaaahhhh enough. The way I can only choose hard work or comfort. I don't think I want a family to much work for life and too much worries.

who relat

I am a lizard person, I am a shapeshifter, and there are many lizard persons out there. We aren’t all the cliche’s many people like to believe where we want to rule the world.. A lot of us suffer with narcissism, and Identity theft / Issues because of this. I sometimes feel alone, and I’ve had altercations when I have shifted on camera, and even I feel really anxious to look back on them because I look foul. I feel sad because every other traumatic event rhag happens to me I shift into a new identity, and face. I do this because I am scared to remain the same identity. I am yet to be apart of the hidden community, but I am not a threat. I’m just a girl

The internet is an oppressed virtual wasteland, with few oases that are already dried up, and no ways of escaping to truly greener pastures. Alienation and isolation are inevitabilities. The less you conform, the lonelier the road you walk is. Once you’ve realized the madness of our current reality, how flawed humanity society truly is, you will understand that to be sane is to be miserable.

back in dec 24, i found some messages on my bfs phone from a sex worker on reddit that he sought out. the way the messages were made it seem like it wasnt the first time he had done something like this, so since then i had been suspicious that maybe this was a constant thing for him.
i then found through an apple payment that he paid someone for something on of, but i couldnt get into his account, until today.
i finally got in his account and saw he was subscribed to multiple workers and also was talking to them. ik obviously for them, thats literally their job, to talk to people, but the way some of the conversations went made me feel hurt.
i want to also add that, as long as it isnt an addiction, i dont care if he watches porn, i do too. my problem is the fact he is paying a lot of money for it and the conversations hes had with some of them talking about his interests, recommending them music, etc. stuff that feels personal.
i feel like its borderline cheating, but at the same time i dont know. i’ve never been in a situation like this and don’t really know how to feel nor what to do. it just also sucks because lately things between us have been stagnant and stressful, just from things happening to us separately, it isnt helping us be our full selfs atm, so adding this really makes everything feel even worse.
he told me he wants to be with me, and i want to work it out, but at what cost?

19 years old
I feel so ashamed every time I like someone and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been asked out by a moid. I thought that once I entered later teenagehood, that these relationships would be thrown at me inevitably. However, the only people that have asked me out were other women and for the most part, none of them I wanted to be with. I have tried to make subtle advances on guys before even though I dislike doing it because I'm a freak with aspergers and can't handle myself well, but none of them have really reciprocated in a meaningful way.
There's a coworker I have at my job who is one year younger than me and I can't stop myself from thinking about him. He's not someone outstandingly unachievable and attractive, he's on the shorter side (under 5'10) but his face is so fucking beautiful, I can't even look at him unless we're talking. I hate myself so badly for liking him, yet I can't help myself from thinking about when the next time will be that I'll get to talk to him, when I'll get to see him, what he's doing.
I'd like to think I'm not super unattractive, maybe cripplingly average instead and perhaps it's just my lack of social skills that has done me in when it comes to relationships. I have received compliments from guys before (mostly older), have even been catcalled. I'm pretty underdeveloped for my age I guess, I'm shorter than average and underweight. I've been told I seem like I'm a very awkward person and hard to talk to before by a guy as well. I used to get made fun of a lot when I was younger but I think I grew out of a lot of the stuff I got made fun of for after puberty.
Despite that, I still don't have a boyfriend while all the other girls my age have boyfriends. I don't even have any irl friends as I was very truant in school and ended up being transferred to an online program (though that's another conversation), so I lost all the ones I did sort of have, yet I felt like they were always only friends with me out of pity. I always feel so terribly guilty and horrible every time I begin to like someone, like I've telepathically molested him just by having feelings for him. I can't ever shake this feeling of shame that makes me extremely depressed and I just end up convincing myself I don't stand a chance.
A lot of the time I tell myself that it's not worth it because it'll end up being more trouble than it's worth and that I'm too asocial and weird to be a good girlfriend to anyone. I always feePost too long. Click here to view the full text.