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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019

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Something you wish someone would say to you Anonymous 21124[Reply]

Whats something you wish someone would tell you right now?

41 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22835

These may be too specific but..
>"I think you're really cool. I know things might not work out, but I'm willing to try."
>"It's been a while since we last spoke, but I just want you to know that I've been thinking about you everyday since we stopped talking."
>"I came back to tell you that you're still the one I think about everyday."

Anonymous 22845

"I miss you. I wanna be friends again."

Anonymous 23002


>you’re really cute
>you’re a lovely lady
>can I see your hand

Anonymous 23004


>You're one of the strongest people I know
>You'd make such a great mom! have actually been told this multiple times, die inside every time
>You're really good at this anon, can you explain how -circuits, car motors, insert one of my hobbies here- work?
>You're a fair, just, and highly respectable person
>When I'm having a difficult time in life, I am reminded of you/some conversation I had and I can stay strong
>You want to be in the Army/Be an Engineer/Tradesperson? That's so badass!
>Any man would be lucky to have you as his wife also been told this multiple times, RIP.jpg

Anonymous 23005

You wanna be a ground pounder? I got mad respect for that.


Anonymous 20534[Reply]

Is it worth a try? Will I possibly find someone interesting through this?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22490

I decided to try it. Worst case it took five minutes, best case I get a pen pal.

Anonymous 22499

Some of the best friends I've ever had have been way different than me in regards to personality and tastes. It seems kind of boring to only want friends just like you.

Anonymous 22500

A bit of common ground's good though, right? At least to get the ball rolling.

Anonymous 22501


The spelling errors are hilarious. Just adds that perfect layer of potential trolling vs holy shit, this might be real.

Anonymous 22954

Too bad the newest batch isn't going anywhere. 4500 people registered and still nothing has been sent.
I was so hyped for this.

fly girl.gif

Theory: the comparison between femcels and incels prove that Women are better people than men Anonymous 14948[Reply]

you don't see anyone here getting bitter or angry, calling for the heads of all men for not dating us. We don't worship Chads whereas incels constantly orbit stacies and we have actual empathy for each other instead of crab bucketting each other out of spite
110 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22772


As a femcel, no we're not that different besides not going on mass shootings as much. Just look at the /pol/-tier ramblings about low-IQ, race, and all that stupid shit. Jesus fucking Christ. Go outside and realize the only problem is you. Do something about it or accept your mediocrity like I did. Just stop blaming literally anyone and anything but yourself.

Anonymous 22783

A lot of people say that about their own countrymen/women. I'm from a Euro country where some men decry West European women for being manly feminazis and idealise Russian women as feminine, traditional and domestic. It wouldn't surprise me if there are Russian men out there who hate Russian women but idealise South American women for example.

Anonymous 22790


they're afraid of seeming insecure, creepy, beta, loser, bla bla, i think you get what i mean.
they think that every time they speak to a woman, they are being put through a hundred different filters to see if they are worth spending time on, and the end result is a very artificial and resentful personality, because they blame women for it.
imo it's media culture bleeding into reality in a very sick sort of way. it's so pronounced in americans and brits because they consume the most anglophone movies and tv

Anonymous 22852

>>22784 nails it on the head… any countrywoman/man will shit on their bedfellows. Grass is greener. East Asian here and it's the same. Clueless white guys fawn over us not realizing that we're all awfully flawed, just maybe different flaws.

I wouldn't be surprised by >>22755 though. Americans unfortunately have by far one of the worst if not the worst reputations as potential partners, male or female. I would even assume an American, white nonbinary person is lowest on the totem pole in dating than those of any other race or nation.

Anonymous 22857

>American, white nonbinary person is lowest on the totem pole in dating than those of any other race or nation.

It strongly depends where you're from, obviously
here in Poland every nonwhite person will have a hard time dating and there's no prejudice against Americans.


Miscarriage Anonymous 22825[Reply]

Thought I would be never be able to get pregnant. Thought that not being able to get pregnant was the worst feeling.

Boy was I wrong. I'm in a lot of pain, physical and emotional. Some weirdo told me I'm probably miscarrying because one of my crazy male exes is into the dark arts, I'd like to hear from people who are less batshit insane.

Anyone else experienced this? Any advice on what to do?

Anonymous 22828

If you think you’re having a miscarriage go to the emergency department

Anonymous 22834

Did you get a positive pregnancy test?

Go to the ER immediately

Anonymous 22841

If youre really into this /X/ paranormal crap then watch or read Ночной Дозор. It literally starts with what you said.


binge eating Anonymous 22431[Reply]

Sup. Been struggling with binge eating for nearly the past year. Super stressful academic load + self-control out the window. Still lift so I've managed not to become overweight but my once goddess-like body has reached normie tier. What do? I keep starting diets and failing. Haven't really had to deal with this shit before so I don't even know where to begin.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22485

>never rubbing one out under the covers at 6am while sharing a room with two other girls and their boyfriends
Normie detected

Anonymous 22649

I'm in the same boat sister. I have no other solution but to just suck it up and start dieting before I get fat for real. It's gonna be hard at the start but once you give it time you'll get used to it and you are back in track again.

Good luck.

Anonymous 22798

That's the problem. Not giving yourself an adequate amount of calories and macros is a sure way to burn yourself, especially if you lift. A routine is necessary to avoid binging, eating multiple meals around the clock, similar times each day if possible. Going on a diet usually implies a short, set time in which you are in a calorie deficit, which just hurts your body and makes you crave like crazy because it needs certain nutrients. If you're someone who overthinks a lot like me, you negative self-talk yourself so much you end up eating the thing you were mentally trying to talk yourself out of. I know I eat the most sugary crap when I'm depressed, because sugars release hormones that temporarily make you feel better. My advice is deal with your mental issues.

Anonymous 22817

oft but ive never masturbated am i asexual…………?

Anonymous 22818

Probably just low sex drive, it's common for women to never masturbate.


Becoming a Surrogate Mother Anonymous 21785[Reply]

I'm somewhat short on cash and have been thinking about this lately. To be a surrogate mom seems like an easy way to make a lot of extra money - just go about your normal life while you just happen to be pregnant and go to doctors appointments on occasion. It would be like going through bearing your own offspring (something I'll eventually have to do anyway) without the end result of having to raise the child.

Most agencies require you have had at least one successful pregnancy and are raising your own kid, but I've found a few that don't, you just have to get a doctor's approval that you are healthy and fertile while meeting the other requirements (which I'm almost positive I do).

I doubt any anons here have been surrogates themselves but I do know that a few of you are mothers. Can any parents here chip in and give a word or two of advice or possibly talk me out of it if this sounds like a stupid idea? I'm still very young and in college part-time so I know that my mom would flip her shit if I tried bringing it up with her like she does with anything. But I'm an adult so ultimately it's my decision, I just don't know who to go to for advice.
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22257

>Surrogacy is honestly one of the most humbly feminine and selfless jobs you could do in your life.
But OP isn’t doing it out of selflessness. She’s doing it for money. There are a ton of complications and risks that come with pregnancy as well as postpartum things she’ll have to deal with. She might get preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, or a laceration/episiotomy during birth.

I think childbirth is a beautiful thing but if you’re doing it for superficial reasons like money it’s not worth it. She should just do what >>21817 and >>21828 suggested if she’s that desperate for cash.

Anonymous 22273

me too. i can barely imagine giving my body to my own child, i could never do it for someone elses.

Anonymous 22277

same tbh. maybe if it was for a couple I knew that wanted a baby very badly, but not for some random rich couple. not to sound like a radfem or anything, but no amount of money could convince me to literally give away my womb for money

Anonymous 22332

Sounds fair to me, not radfem, speaking as someone whose ideal kid situation would be surrogacy.

Anonymous 22792

I've signed up for an egg donation site. It will probably be several more months until I get to do it though.
>getting paid 10k to have some other woman birth and raise my descendants
Is this how men feel when they donate sperm or knock&dump a chick? Only problem is I have to manage to pass the psychological test and I don't know how stringent it will be. Not my fault, they should know personality tests are void past a certain IQ because you can understand and game the questions. Otherwise feels good man.


Boyfriend cheated Anonymous 22451[Reply]

My long distance boyfriend came to visit me. I went through his phone (terrible, I know) and I was really hoping I wouldn't find anything but I found a text thread of him bragging to his friend about fucking a girl. He tells me it was a mistake, that he was confused, paranoid, depressed, and it didn't mean anything. I've been extremely sad this whole visit now, we're at his parents house which is 4 hours away from my actual home city. I'm trying to forgive him but this whole thing has been horrible. We did acid and I got drunk and tried to burn myself and I just cried in a corner (I have no recollection of this). I don't know if I should forgive and forget or go home and break up. I'm really disgusted with men right now, I'm bisexual and right now I'm wondering if I'd be happier with a girl.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22687

If he doesn't care enough about you to hide his cheating properly, I don't know why you're with him.

Anonymous 22754

>burn herself
>losing recent memories

wtf, you're life sucks. get your shit together and be a decent person.

PD: leave your boyfriend too, he's probably a mess just like you.

Anonymous 22773

No relationship can bounce back from cheating, or frankly any kind of major betrayal of trust, without years of time to heal. You will literally never be able to trust him. Is that really worth the stress and eventual degeneration of your relationship from it? Just dump him and just focus on yourself, when you can get by without thinking about him then you can start worrying about finding someone else.

Anonymous 22774

Cheater detected. Your behavior isn't normal and I hope you're either in an open relationship or better yet, partnerless.

Anonymous 22778


/exfeels/ Anonymous 20981[Reply]

what are your relationship with your exes like?

>ex 1, female, online, a few years ago - she ghosted me after we broke up, we were best friends since i was 8

whenever i see something that reminds me of her i get panicky and feel physically hurt inside, and a lot of things remind me of her. she left a hole in my heart
>ex 2, online, male, broke up a few months ago
i still obsess over him/think about him every day/night
48 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22419

I have a couple I could list.

>1. male, my high school bf.

turns out horny teenage boys are pretty much a low iq subspecies and ruined my outlook on guys for a long time. nonetheless, quiet breakup and definitely not in touch.

>2. female, i got catfished to all hell lol

you know those girls who have insane insecurity issues and facetune themselves way skinnier and prettier than they are? i would've been cool with whatever body she had if not for the other major personality issues that comes with someone who does that… breakup was awful: i went off on her after catching her cheating. she could be dead for all i care or know.

>3. female, bipolar but one of the ones who was managing her illness very well compared to others.

couldn't take it though. not in touch though on occasion we'll see eachother in social circles. it's not too awkward. i hope she does alright in life.

That was years ago. These days am happily with someone, several years strong… I'm pretty much going to put a ring on her if things go well. Also I don't really stay in touch with exes unless they get in touch first. No harm no foul, I move around a lot and don't have the energy for a ton of people let alone exes.

Anonymous 22433

anyone else here get jealous thinking about their bf's past relationships/their exes? idk if this is normal or just weird

Anonymous 22436

yeah. hard to wrap your head around stuff like that sometimes. i get jealous pretty easy honestly, but you gotta put things in perspective and remember that they're with you now and (presumably) wouldn't rather be with anyone else.

Anonymous 22494

>6.5 year relationship
>he became more and more abusive over that time until enough was enough when he threatened to punch me one day
>broke up, then stupidly took him back for like a month because he promised to change. went right back to being abusive
>dumped and put him on no-contact
>he broke no-contact to send me a sappy message. I reminded him of the no-contact and removed that means of contact
>been 5 years now and I haven't spoken to him, haven't seen him, I don't use social media and don't browse it, we have no mutual friends
>no idea where he is now or what happened, frankly don't care, he feels the same to me as some shitty kid's book I might have read when I was young, didn't particularly like, never read again, and forget the title of
>can't even fathom how I could have been with him because he's not my type at all
>only regret is that I wasted that much time with such a loser
>I have no social media so he can't check me out. I've also moved out of state and started going by another name
I kind of want those six and a half years back though. The sex wasn't even good. Man I was so stupid.

Anonymous 22662


Someone I met freshman year of high school. We were never really close, although both of us wanted to be. He tried really hard, but it was difficult because of his autism. He asked me out, and I rejected him. I said I'd like to date him, but we needed more time as friends. He didn't understand why. He asked again months later, but we still never got closer in that time. It was over text when I was at home; my dad was trying to take my phone from me aggressively, and he's a pretty big dude. "Who was that? Let me see IT! It's -guy I'm talking about- isn't it? You're fucking!" I locked myself in the bathroom and started to cry. Friend proceeded to call me, and I couldn't answer him because I was being screamed at and the door being pounded on. I felt horrible because I knew the guy was probably freaking out. I had to give my answer in person at school the next day and explain what happened. Friend didn't believe me and was upset. We kind of grew apart, and aside from casual conversation, eventually stopped talking and graduated.

A year later, we text again (found each other on Insta), and he asks me to come over and see if we could make things work. I said yes. We tried to go out, but I was in a horrible place in life and he just shut down completely from overload trying to process our conversations. I was suicidal and wound up on a hold. I called him while I was there, and he broke up with me over the phone. I tried to text him when I got out, he said he never wanted to speak to me again (but not in a negative way, it ended on good terms). Still, it felt lonely and shitty I was still living with my abusers and now I was all by myself with no one to talk to.

During one of our dates he said, "I kind of see why you said you wanted to wait (get closer as friends)." He didn't understand my dad was abusive and a control freak, that I couldn't just "go out with him" when he asked back in high school. But over the course of time, my friend started to witness my dad's behavior and believe me.


Anyone here vocel? Anonymous 21784[Reply]

So many threads here seem to be about relationships or >tfw no bf so I thought I'd start a thread for sort of the opposite feel and see if it takes off.
Anyone else abstaining from relationships and/or sex? Talk about it here and your reasons for doing such.
20 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22305

You only have to lower your standards if you really want a bf. If you are ok with being alone as well there is no need to make any compromises.

Anonymous 22309

Be open to surprise!

Anonymous 22654


I could get laid if I wanted to, but I just don't want to. I have no sex drive, and very rarely experience attraction that only lasts a few seconds. Emotions turn me on; it's the facial expressions on a man and his general behavior around me on a regular basis that can drive me wild, but it's been years. Most guys just don't stick around long enough for me to get comfortable being vulnerable with my sexual feelings. Sex is freely given now; no man wants to put in the work of investing in me emotionally, so that I'd get wet enough for sex to be pleasant. I can't dive right in like guys can; I'm not visual. I swear, only Don and Kathy's relationship from Singing in the Rain, and a few cheesy shoujos, like Dengeki Daisy, turn me on thoroughly. Real men don't do it for me; they seem lost in outer space, preoccupied with literally anything else.

Anonymous 22656

It's similar in my case. What confuses me is that some guys resent women for not sleeping with them on the 3rd or so date ("you're just withholding sex to get me to stay with you!!!") but I've always thought that was considered slutty and made you bad relationship material because they complain about high partner counts. I don't really get adult dating. Teenage dating was less shallow (in my own personal experience!) and more about connection, common hobbies and personality.

Anonymous 22661

It was teenage dating that exposed me to what guys are really like. I had a lovey-dovey, best friends fantasy. I was naive and sex never crossed my mind until they brought it up or made obvious advances, as early as the first date. However, I do agree, it was easier to get to know them then. Guys really focused on who you were as a person (even if it wasn't much) and you could both open up and form a lasting friendship even if the dating didn't work out. Now it seems guys just want to jump from girl-to-girl (but somehow many still want virgin or "low count" parters).


Anonymous 22572[Reply]

do you get along well with people who use imageboards as well?
what about 4chan? do you know anyone irl who browses them?

>tfw i ended up getting an irl bf who browses r9k, but he isnt a dick incel and heavily respects me, hes just as autistic as i am and accepting of my autism and ive never been happier
14 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22631

A lot of people cross post yes but usually there is one board people consider to be their "home" board and identify with.

Anonymous 22632


I don't talk to anyone who uses imageboards. I'm already awkward enough as it is, I don't know how it would go down if I really did become friends with an anon.

Anonymous 22634

>do you know anyone irl who browses them?

Not anymore. I don't trust any adult who participates in imageboard culture.
I've seen way too many judgemental and bigoted posts on 4chan and other websites and can't tell how many of you are "just joking".

Anonymous 22636

I'll be honest.
I do feel bad around my male friends sometimes after posting the vitriolic things I have about men at my lowest.
But there's always a fear that they're secretly racist and sexist towards me so it evens out. Just secretly hate your friends anon.

Anonymous 22643


hm I met my bf off /SOC/ if that counts. I must have talked to 100 guys on there and was about to give up on the board until I came across his post, not everyday you come across someone online from my smallish city , much less a total qt:3

>Tfw he browses /ck/, /lit/, /fit/, and /fa/
Feels good, man

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