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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


How do you rekindle the spark in a relationship Anonymous 70873[Reply]

I’m just not feeling it with my boyfriend any more, for no reason. He’s cool and I like him, but I don’t have that physical “love” feeling any more. I wish I did, I think he still loves me a lot. I feel terribly guilty, so much so that I feel physically Ill when I think about it. I want to love him so bad, please help
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70882

Well every relationship will eventually lose the infatuation/honeymoon/whatever you want to call it spark it just has to develop into a more meaningful form of love. Don't know your situation but just don't expect that any relationship will have you feeling infatuated forever.

Anonymous 70896

somebody just finished reading the stranger

Anonymous 70898

Tell me why it isn't then.

Anonymous 70916

Anonymous 70919



Relationship/Sexual Inexperience Anonymous 2669[Reply]

Anyone else just either wasn't interested in dating or didn't have the chance in high school?

I'm 21 and have 0 dating or sexual experience. I had a few guys interested in me over the years, but I really had no interest in dating at that point. Having someone in my life in that way feels incredibly off. I'm not the most social person in the world and it picturing having a boyfriend makes me uncomfortable. I have never kissed or held hands with a boy. Just hugged. My parents are very religious Catholics so that probably factored in as well.

Is this gonna bite me in the ass sooner or later? It's honestly embarrassing around female friends because they talk about their boyfriends or sexual experiences sometimes and it makes me feel abnormal. People always say it's good to be a virgin as a female, but it's not. It's awkward and makes me feel weird or less human. Why don't I crave relationships or sex like everyone else? The idea of a one night stand is terrifying to me as well, I've never gone to a bar or anything like that.

Anyone else in my position and is just terribly "innocent" and inexperienced in life? I literally consider answering some Craigslist ad at least every few days because it seems like an easy way to throw away my v-card and is not socially demanding.
68 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70445

what's with men having autistic spergs about women being lonely and having full on incel meltdowns while pretending they aren't incels?

Anonymous 70446

based moid meltdown

seethe more you waste of genetic material

Anonymous 70459

>being rejected for wanting to wait
it is always better to be alone than to settle for someone who pressures you into sex. DO NOT SETTLE!!!! that being said, sex is an important part of a relationship and we do need to consider the other persons sexuality here because relationships are a 2 way street. for any hope of a peaceful and lasting partnership, you need to have at least started on the path to becoming comfortable with your sexuality… it will take a while and if you need your moid to wait for you, a good moid will. but it isnt right to keep him waiting forever. it wont work.

Anonymous 70904

begone tradthot

Anonymous 70923

usagi mamoru.jpg

OP are you still around? curious if your outlook changed at all.

I wasn't sexual until at least 20-21. Before that point I just wanted a shoujo manga style relationship, cute handholding and cuddling and kisses and emotions. I had a relationship as a teen but eventually he wanted to touch my tits and finger me and I was so uninterested. He tried to get me to touch his dick and I was like "whoa ew no sorry" and then like two weeks later he broke up with me

I thought I was asexual but suddenly that changed in college. I don't know what happened but one day I woke up and was like "yep ready to fuck, time for some dick"

Seems like a fair amount of late bloomers in here too


How do I know a guy is with me because he loves me? Anonymous 68703[Reply]

How do I know a guy is with me because he loves me and not because he wants to use my body?
9 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 69189


No guy on Earth will stay in a relationship with you without sex, and if he does he's probably got a few screws loose. The only "exception" are religious ones that are willing to wait for marriage. Outside of that you can tell he loves you through his actions. Also, if he's waaay hotter than you it's pretty much a guarantee you're a temporary thing.

Anonymous 69513

Wait until marriage to have sex. The only he has to stay in a relationship with you and then propose, without sex, is if he loves you for who you are.
It's a very simple and effective filter.

While religious guys are more likely to wait, the reasoning behind waiting is independent of religion. It's hard but possible to find guys who understand and value the ideal of monogamy for life.

Anonymous 70800

jesus christ you people are bitter
if he loves you he'll want to be around you and talk to you regardless of how you look. my dad always wants to sit closest to my mom, talk to her, watch movies with her, etc, even when shes wearing gross cleaning clothes. if he only wanted you for sex he wouldnt care about your thoughts outside of sex

Anonymous 70809

As long as he treats you like an equal human at all times. Mine has every reason to leave me, but he gives me chance after chance. He must love me to put up with my shit, kek

Anonymous 70859

A pretty good way to know that is by how he reacts when you propose things that don't involve sex and how he behaves after sex. Does he try to come up with any excuse if he thinks it won't lead to sex? If he just want sex, he will try to avoid any activity that won't lead to sex and probably will propose something else that gives him a chance to have sex.
How does he behave after sex? If he doesn't show any sign of affection or doesn't try to talk, and he just avoids anything after sex, wants to leave or inmediatly falls asleep, the chances are that he doesn't care much about you besides sex.

Besides that there are other things that you can notice. Does he actually listen to you when you're talking? Does he care about your well being? Does he always tries to include you in his plans? Does he propose activities that don't involve sex? Those are good signs


Anonymous 70693[Reply]

It baffles me that there’s people in this world that actually enjoy living and waking up every single day and breathing. I don’t believe it, how is this real. Why would anyone consciously enjoy waking up every single day to do the same monotonous activities they did the same day before, and so on and so fourth. It’s exhausting, living and finding the desire to continue is tiresome
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70766

No, and I feel bad now that I read my post because it does give that impression. I won't disclose a lot because it owuld make me sound like a schizo but I'm afraid of being attacked by a specific person.
I'm not depressed but I do identify with the >>70733 anon on being scared of death for myself and the rest of my family. I quit exercising outside and am considering dropping out of college because of the things that can happen if I go out.

Anonymous 70806

it's serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and healthy relationships
if you don't have at least 2 of these, your brain gets fucked

Anonymous 70852


brb googling how to inject serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin into my body

Anonymous 70856

I'm all set

Anonymous 70858

Masturbation makes me more depressed tbh. It's not the same with you?


Anonymous 70531[Reply]

>I wonder what it’s like to be pretty and have a bf who actually enjoys your presence
>if I wake my bf up after sleeping ten hours, he’ll scream at me for 20 minutes about how I don’t respect him.

Anonymous 70759

D-do you love him very much??
He sounds like my gf. I love her very much but dislike that part of her.

Anonymous 70851

Then why haven't you broken up with him yet?

Anonymous 70857

>if I wake my bf up after sleeping ten hours, he’ll scream at me for 20 minutes about how I don’t respect him.

Holy red flag.


Anonymous 68892[Reply]

>Be me, 23 khhv
>No friends rl, ugly
>Meet qt guy on discord
>He lives in other continent
>Spend time with him as I can
>He flirts and calls me beautiful
>Confess feelings to him one day
Says he likes me too but we can't be together because we live in different continents and such things don't end well
>We continue to talk and spend time, he's still occasionally flirty
>After a month again I ask if we have any future if I do certain things
>He says no, he can't commit to anything like that and says he wants time off
>Comes back after 24 hours
>We start talking again like before
>He shows me girl from my city he found on Bumble
>He keeps talking about other girls with me
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
14 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 68947

no? because you're talking to someone and trying to access their most intimate and vulnerable state v. a corporate entity.

Anonymous 68955

i don't post online very much, but it sounds like you're having a rough time…
^ alt if you'd like to message
mods please delete this if not allowed outside friendfinder thread on /b/

Anonymous 68962

just cut him off if you haven’t already

Anonymous 69125

Move on. Find another guy and try to not develop feelings for guys that aren't on the same continent. I live in the US and my bf is in Canada (we have met up a couple of times now) and it works. It's a little harder than a normal relationship, but I think that my advice will help you in the long run. Do not look for men in areas where they immediately know you are a woman btw. It's better if you are talking to a guy and he just assumes you are a guy because then it means the relationship isn't just being dragged on by the fact you are a woman. Let the guy know you are a woman later on.

It's clear that he isn't interested and is trying to let you down because he is talking about other women. Seriously forget that moid <3

Anonymous 70740

hey anon ive sent you a friend request, sorry for late, I didnt get around to checking this thread


Male Gaze :((( Anonymous 70037[Reply]

When I was a tween I was at that stage where I was mentally developing but had a sense of leeway for my self expression. I got my hair chopped and wore the clothes I wanted, and basically looked like a dyke and didn't care about what the men around me thought because I wasn't at a sexual stage yet. But now that I'm older I can only see myself through men's eyes. I forget who said this but this problem really applies to my situation:

>Men see women, women see men seeing women.

I hate this mental attitude because I force myself to look "hot" in a conventional way but it doesn't feel like the real me. Like its sinful for me to not look hot. Before I turned myself into a basic bitch I was told stuff like "you're wasting your beauty" and "you'd look so much more attractive if you did xyz". But fuck man. It isn't me at all.
12 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70120

Erm I once had serious depression and since I got away from the source I've improved massively but this is the way I am now. Just because I rarely feel attraction to men doesn't mean I have mental illness.

Also sorry but by feelings I meant feel attraction. I hate typing on my phone but my computer died.

Anyway you're not responding to anything specific that has made you upset so i dont know how to respond exactly feel free to whenever you like.

Anonymous 70121


I never get a chance to talk about this so I'll just spergpost here: I don't care anymore. I see all of it as cosplay.
If some cosplays net me better treatment in the world, nice. But imagine having your body, an entire doll all for yourself, and all you ever do is customize it based on how men might treat you. Boring and lame.
Even if you're feminine, scrotes will never really understand what an "aesthetic" is. They're not capable. If you really pay attention to what "styles" they idolize on women, you'll notice that male gaze is very simplistic, and that's because styling isn't what really matters. It's not really your clothes or your lipstick (or lack of it), it's your existence as a woman that's the main point. At best, they may fetishize some things (like pantyhose, chokers, or heels), but they simply don't have the brain for analysis.
In the end, they just want to put something inside of you, and they'd take the opportunity even if you wore a garbage liner. The reason people talked shit to you for being tomboyish is because society gets uncomfortable when you won't play the appeasement game. It bothers a lot of women when they're forced to remember that they don't have to wear foundation, and it makes men mad when you won't pretend it's important whether or not your hair is long and in a ponytail or whatever. They need women to be insecure and constantly changing shit, the inherent power gap between being a woman vs some male who is constantly thinking about reproducing and sex whether he likes it or not is just too much lol.
There's also the aspect of wanting to assign you a uniform to more adequately cast the "type" of girl/woman you are (ie are you fuck, marry, or ignore material). You confuse everyone if you look too "boyish" but you're not a lesbian.
You can either take all this shit as a prison, or as a reason to shrug your shoulders and stop fucking worrying. It's out of your hands, why be mad?
Sometimes I want to look like a "dyke". Sometimes I want to look like an anime character. Sometimes I want to look like a generic hot girl, or a hippie, or a guy. All fun costumes. Doesn't fucking matter, just have fun

Anonymous 70129

>>They need women to be insecure so they're constantly easy to intimidate, and tell what to do, for easy access to sex.


Anonymous 70251

im sorry but you sound shizophrenic, how you are talking about getting stuff planted in your head and you trying to extract it…

Anonymous 70797

literally this, realized this after i started talking to my male friends about fashion (im into costuming) and they literally had no opinions on dress styles and hairstyles beyond "gay" or "hot". as long as your tits are visible and your eyes are defined it doesnt matter to men. i think this is why they view heavy makeup as "black magic"


The feeling of your younger siblings/cousins loosing faith in you Anonymous 70808[Reply]

I used to be a well-adjusted, outgoing child.

Kids would follow me around and get exited to play with me. My younger relatives used to fight over who got to sit next to me at family dinners.

Over the years, I had to watch the admiration slowly fade from their eyes.

I tried my best to hide what a loserly recluse I was becoming, but they saw right through me. I failed.

It hurts to know that I can never be their cool older sister again.

(Is this development inevitable, even for normies, or am I right in blaming my internet-induced autism?)
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70812

I know what's wrong with me, I just can't fix it.

Anonymous 70813

Same thing happened to me. In WataMote there is a recurring character who is Tomoko's younger cousin who is beginning to see what a loser Tomoko is as she gets older, I related to it a lot lol.

Anonymous 70814

Yeah, that's why I picked pic related (it's Watamote). Kii-chan hurts me.

Anonymous 70818

Oh I see I didn't recognize it.

Anonymous 70823

i have younger relatives (toddler aged) who look up to me a lot and are always excited whenever they get to see me, i hate the idea of them thinking i’m loser-ish or annoying when they get old enough to form opinions like that, but ive accepted i will never be the fun aunt.


Anonymous 69972[Reply]

Have you ever been attracted to a guy who was already taken?

Anonymous 70798

im attracted to men who arent even real

Anonymous 70804

Not really. I can acknowledge their attractiveness but when they're taken, it's taboo to even think about them.


Anonymous 69395[Reply]

I’m never going to have sex again. It’s just not worth it. I had sex with this guy tonight and it was amazing. He gave me a back rub and just asked so casually if he could touch me. He called me beautiful and said how much he loved my body. It was so intense and passionate. I never thought I’d get to have sex like that. He probably won’t talk to me again. But it’s okay I’m celibate now
9 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 69421

Alright that's a real good point you made.
Not bad either.

Ok, Miss OP: Listen to the two replies I mentioned earlier. Moid gotta put in more effort than passionate sex to proof himself worthy. You are the gate to humankind's reproduction. You have to act selective.

Anonymous 69428

From the amount that he came, I think it’s been awhile. But even if it’s nothing else. At least he treated me with respect and dignity. He didn’t try to get rough with me or push me too far. In this day in age I’ll consider that a win. You seem kinda jaded though, not everyone has the worst intentions all the time.
I don’t want to reproduce but thanks for the advice I guess. Odd way to put it

Anonymous 69434

I don't even get what's going on. Was it a one-night stand or what?

Anonymous 69522

I don't know the exact situation or how you talk, but I think being upfront and honest is the best way to go about it. There's nothing embarrassing about being speaking genuinely and frankly with another person.

You should message him something along the lines of
"Hey its me. I was wondering if we could get together again. I know we agreed that it was a one-night thing so its okay if you don't want to, I just really enjoyed that night and would really like to spend more time with you."

Just a rough outline for you. If he refuses then whatever, you were honest and upfront with how you felt. I have a feeling he'll take you up on the offer though.

Anonymous 70802

please dont listen to the people on this site, it sounds like he likes you and you really have nothing to lose by pursuing him
my parents fell in love after a one night stand and theyve been together 30 years

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