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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 90371[Reply]

How can i be more social? Only alc seems to help but ik its not a good solution in the long road

Anonymous 90372

>>90371
god idk. i am not even socially anxious, but i am just so bored by all the people around me, i know that sounds pompous but i think i'm the problem since this has been a constant in my life for a while now. if it's anxiety you struggle with, just mentally pretend that you already know people before talking to them, that seems to work.

Anonymous 90374

>>90372
Idk mann i try so hard to be nore social but i just come of as awkward idkk what to do im so so shy around ppl

Anonymous 90375

>>90374
well you have good taste in cat pictures, so that tells me that you are probably very based and cool. i really shouldn't be giving advice because i don't really have any friends, but i skate by ok socially so ig my advice would be to have the mindset that if other people think you are awkward/make them uncomfortable, that's on them. that's how i went from lonely and insecure and shy to still fucking lonely but at least somewhat sure of myself kek.

>Mom no I am not being bullied, I am a sigma female no please you don't need to call your friend to arrange a playdate mom please i'm sigma



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I have a crush on Geddy Lee. Anonymous 66445[Reply]

People call me weird, because of that. On top of that, I have always loved Rush's music and Geddy Lee's vocals aren't that annoying as people say!
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 66839

If you haven't seen him live yet, you never will
I'm sorry

Anonymous 67223

GregLake_trans_NvB…

For me, it's Greg Lake

Anonymous 75795

geddy lee.jpg

I was listening to Rush earlier and then I see this thread loool, bumping this for no other reason than to say "based"

Anonymous 75804

I don't like ugly famous men. They're always awful people.

Anonymous 90334

>>66445
Based
Hope you got to see them live at some point, great shows even if the vocals weren't quite there anymore near the end



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How to find loving bf? Anonymous 87667[Reply]

How do woman manage to find loving boyfriends that are nice to them? I'll be turning 26 soon and I have never had a romantic relationship of any kind.

I told myself that I would finally push myself to get a date and I finally managed to get one through a friend setting me up. But the guy was mean to me the entire time. He wouldn't let me order the food I wanted (because he said he wanted it). I don't understand what the logic was because we could have both ordered one? I ended up getting something I didn't like and couldn't finish. Then he kept asking what my food allergies were so he could order those when we go out so that I won't "take his food." I'm 99 pounds and can barely finish my own food, let alone take someone else's. I was prepared to ask the waiter to split checks but before I could, he went inside and paid for the entire meal but then demanded I paypal him my share ($10). He was in his 30s.

TLDR; it's hard dating as an ugly and shy woman.
17 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 88046

>>88006
>>88013
>>88025
You're finally starting to get the trick.
Online dating isn't even slightly freeing to women.
Just like most of the other things, media owned by men (so almost all of it) was only pushing it to rig the game.
You're all still missing the second half though.
The men who funded, built, and sustain this idea with their technology and propaganda don't even slightly care about how it would impact the men "below" them in terms of power.
This helps to create the problems we face while destroying THEIR potential competition for being coomers.
Half of the men are going to be extremely pissed off because its a complete ghost town for them whereas before they could get a date once a year, while the more attractive bunch has the odds completely tipped in their favor against women.
You get bombarded with obscene shit and have the view there are no better options. In fact, good luck treating people as people. The "lower quality" men women could settle for when they needed to radicalize immensely.
The ones who can pay for the algorithm to set things in their favor, or those who genuinely have their shit together have their heaven.
And best yet, its a self sustaining cycle. Before you could at least halfway train a "lower" moid because you were viewed as rare and favoring them. At least in the initial relationship. But now? They are going feral because they see it as a conspiracy against them. And it is a conspiracy, just against everyone.

Anonymous 88047

>>88006
It doesn't have to be online dating, it can be anything. Meet a lot of men and have strict high standards and try to filter out the ones that aren't compatible as quickly as possible. Online dating is the easiest way to do it but you do need to put in the hours as there is so many men on each platform.

Doesn't Bumble let women message men first? Or other sites allow you to hide your profile so you have to message first?

Anonymous 90270

>>87667
wowww that was horrible Im sorry that happened. my mom said its important to be friends first and get to know each other

Anonymous 90275

>>87667
I think its just casting a wide net and then only engaging further with the guys who seem nice right off the bat.
Usually, guys show clear signs early on. This year I cut contact with the guy who complained about rape accusations ruining his senior year of highschool our entire date and kept the guy who brought me a housewarming gift and tried to drop everything and cook for me when I mentioned I was planning to skip dinner.
Met both of them online and was just looking for hot guys to hookup with but now I have a kind and incredibly hot korean bf.

Anonymous 90304

>>87667
i wouldn't have insisted to split the check with him - he clearly doesn't give a shit if you're enjoying yourself. WAAAH NO STEALY MY FOOD
nothing more romantic that sharing a single dish with someone, even if you didn't order the same thing



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Anonymous 90181[Reply]

why is making woman-friends so hard, i just want a girl bff so bad i wanna play games nd talk all day with her, i try my hardest to make girl-friends and it just ends up being slight small talk and never really goes anywhere after that
16 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 90292

>>90288
where do i get an invite?

Anonymous 90295

>>90269
>>90286
heres my throwaway discord if anyone wants it
ml#3526

Anonymous 90297

Could be because you are boring and awful, have you considered that?

>fps games

>valorant or league

I can guarantee you are midwit with nothing interesting to say.

Anonymous 90298

>>90297
why are you cruel

Anonymous 90300

Too many posts saying "wahhh I want friends" not enough posts posting their discord, if you want friends put yourself out there!
>>90288
Anon suggest and arrange games to be played then omg so many of you complain without putting effort into changing things
>>90292
On /b/ there's a post asking "is there a discord server?" look for it
>>90297
Shut the fuck up



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Obsessing over guys you have never even talked to Anonymous 83287[Reply]

Does anyone else experience this thing where you see some random guy at work or school, and become obsessed with him to the point of knowing everything about him despite having never interacted with him. Right now there is this guy at my work who I have never interacted with (I don't even know what his voice sounds like), but I know his full name, his address, his birthday, where he went to high school, the fact that he likes to read fantasy books (I have covertly looked through the window of his car when on my break multiple times and have seen several on the seats). This has happened 4 times at this point. I purposely avoid him though because I know it's weird af, don't really know what I should do about it.
25 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 85370

>>85329
If you're frequently writing erotica and RP I don't think you're wanting to take that to reality

Anonymous 85868

>>85370
It's just my work. I make more from my erotica than I do from my dayjob.

I saw him again the other night after he was caught in the rain, with his wet shirt plastered to his amazing body and tussled hair smoothed back. I want to pour my heart out and beg him to be mine.

Anonymous 86206

>>85868
How and where do you sell your erotica online?

Anonymous 86217

>>86206
I started by writing for free, then took small donations, hired an artist, built a small coomer community and started taking subscriptions and commissions, which let me publish. Once I published I just started selling on Amazon. I'm writing my next book in my main series and if it does well I'll try for an audiobook.

It doesn't pay very well, but it's a great part time job.

Anonymous 86318

>>86217
That’s really cool and informative, thanks nona.



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Anonymous 89757[Reply]

just remembered this semi famous guy on instagram i used to text last year who’s entire account was just 4chan screenshots. i think we really connected. he’d like hold instagram lives on one of his numerous accounts and every single time it’d just be me and him on there. it was actually quite cute. i told him basically everything about me and he was such a great listener. but he was honestly kind of irritating in a way. like we’d be talking about something random and he’d text me shit like ‘i want you’ and before i could even reply he’d delete the message and it used to piss me off so much. also he’d always post on his close friends story ‘i want her so bad’ and other cryptic messages and i remember i replied to one of them with the rolling eyes emoji and he was like “… that wasn’t for you”. he’d always insinuate that he liked me, completely blow me off and the next day he’d act like nothing happened. i eventually ended up blocking him because i was so bored of his shit but he texted me back on one of his other accounts only for me to block that one and all the other ones he had too. i’ve completely blocked him out of my memory up until now and my head hurts from thinking about him so much. and it’s not just him. i do this all the fucking time. i hit it off with so many people only to completely cut them off after they do one small thing that annoys me. it’s really funny bc every time this happens (it’s happened 5 times, 3 times irl and twice online) i always completely block the entire event out only to randomly remember it like a good year later and when i do remember it, it completely consumes me. it’s the only thing i can remember for an entire month. it’s so awful i really just don’t want to be like this anymore. why can’t i just interact with people like a normal person????

Anonymous 89759

>to randomly remember it like a good year later and when i do remember it, it completely consumes me.

Does it happen when you're not talking to anyone? Maybe you're missing the feeling of connecting with the person. If it's the case just find someone new to flirt with and repeat.

Anonymous 90137

>>89759
yeah probably. started my second year and i have zero friends so im assuming that it’s a product of my boredom. god, rereading this is so cringe. thanks for replying nona. i will take your advice.

Anonymous 90152

I think it was good you cut him off. He was either manipulating you and deliberately leading you on for the ego boost, or he has issues (sounds like AVPD) and would have just made a terrible bf anyways.
I miss bad people too sometimes. I miss when I was friends with my ex bf because it was a lot of fun before we started dating and we grew apart, we would just mess around all day and it was comfy. Just recognize that its normal to feel that way but it doesn't necessarily mean you should come back to them, because you were right to be annoyed. Its a good thing you didn't get more involved.

Anonymous 90283

>i hit it off with so many people only to completely cut them off after they do one small thing that annoys me
To be fair, in your favor, this situation wasn't such a small thing and it's good that you're no longer in contact. Like other anons said, it's kind of normal to miss experiences with past friends when you're lonely, even if they were bad people. I sometimes miss my turbulent half gay middle school friendship but then I remember I was mostly just being used for attention and as an emotional sponge… But I still miss her sometimes kek.



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Anonymous 90254[Reply]

Sorry this is stupid but i'm desperate and need ideas about what could YVLW be an abbreviation for

Anonymous 90259

I need context how it was said

Anonymous 90262

I removed the y and found that vlw is the portugese equivalent of thx, it might mean thank you.



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How to deal with throat hurting? Anonymous 90120[Reply]

I think I didn't drink enough water for a few days and now no matter what I drink my throat hurts. Any advice? Any remedies I should try?

Anonymous 90149

>>90120
Ibuprofen and chug 3 pint glasses of water

Anonymous 90151

>>90120
That is a strange side effect. Does food hurt too? Usually eating slimy cool fruits feels nice when my throat hurts.

Anonymous 90161

Eat an orange, trust me.

Anonymous 90261

Drink water and take a eucalyptus ricola. Rince and repeat until you get better



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Feeling like an evil Anonymous 90083[Reply]

I have aspergers and I just fucking hate the “representation” we have. I’m not talking about in tv shows or movies, although that’s pretty bad at times too, but like… celebrities. Like, Elon Musk has it, and I fucking hate him. I’ve met so many people who hate him. Yeah he’s successful and shit but he’s corrupt as hell. Greta Thunberg has it and I don’t like her either. She’s really just a pawn. She’s never said anything anyone hasn’t said before about climate change or whatever, and she’s terrible at arguing. Even Albert Einstein, who’s widely liked, invented the fucking atomic bomb. I’ve never met someone else with the condition I haven’t found to be a fucking weirdo/bad person, other than maybe a few (all women btw). I know it’s not really surprising but it makes me feel self conscious. I wish society wouldn’t lump me in with them sometimes and just leave me the fuck alone to do my own thing. Because I know I can be more successful and moral in life than them.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 90185

Okay.jpeg

>>90083
Don't be so judgmental.
Tend to your own inner peace, and let the stress of how others think go.

Anonymous 90192

>>90091
oh please
it's known that diagnosed males are more agressive and violent then females
hmm why is it, I wonder
maybe it's not about the condition, but more about your own behaviour - what you let yourself doing

Anonymous 90236

>>90091
Aspie here and I despise low functioners. I see videos of grown adults screaming at the top of their lungs, unable to vocalize words, and I'm supposed to have any sort of relation to that person? Fuck them, honestly they are a drain on society and disturbing to witness.

Anonymous 90237

I'm not retarded enough to feel "evil" because there are some bad people with aspergers lmao. I have a spine

Anonymous 90239

>>90136
Fucking same lol



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Jealous/Envious Friends Anonymous 89943[Reply]

Has anyone here ever dealt with friends who always seemed to be subtly competing with you? Had severely low self esteem yet also managed to believe everyone wanted to get with them (even if they didn't)? Someone who would always try to be the best at little things, assumed they knew more, tried to manipulate social settings to put themselves on top in weird little ways? Trying to "win" something they don't even like/care about?

Please tell your stories and talk about how you avoided/overcame it. Especially if you can't just immediately cut them out and know you'll be seeing them again.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 90049

>>89989
she sounds like mine except mine is not delusional, simply extremely gender nonconforming, ultra butch/masc that is comfortable using the opposite sex's pronouns in private.
she does not mind I am heterosexual, I do not mind she is very possessive and clingy. we just click and she is a good listener.

if you don't mind can you explain further about when you took offense? as in, it was offensive because it felt like she was threatening by you achieving success? or that she was wanting to hold you back to your detriment?
she wants me all to herself but I myself do not mind - provided that in the future she does deliver on being a sturdy provider for me, of course.

Anonymous 90050

>>90049
*she was threatened

Anonymous 90073

>>90049
well, it's like this - when something new happens to you and you're excited to share that news, you expect the people you share it with to be excited for you. when I share it with someone and they immediately criticize an aspect of it, it doesn't feel good. in the context of my story, I would understand her reaction of "that's bullshit, you shouldn't have to go get another degree for them to give you higher pay" if this was, say, a retail job. I would also agree if the job's stipulation was we will ONLY give you higher pay if you have X degree. It's in education which just has a pay scale whether I like it or not that is based on experience and qualifications. so it felt like she just knee-jerk looked for the negative in my situation rather than looking at the over all picture and being happy for me. like I said, everyone else I mentioned the tuition reimbursement thing too said "wow, that's awesome" including my more politically inclined friend who is involved in a lot of labor rights stuff and deals with this sort of thing in her job. so part of the offense stemmed from her reaction not quite being what I expected, and the other part is like what I said before about how it came of as her being jealous or threatened by me obtaining higher education for free.

Anonymous 90076

I have an obvious example of when my close friend was jealous of me and she TRIED to hide it but was unsuccessful by how grumpy she was over the whole thing. Also, she would always bring the topic up behind my back to family members and friends in some form of gossip. That's when you know they are jealous of you because you are living in their head rent free and they find it to be a topic of interest to talk about you, gossip about you, or complain about you, with the main conversational point revolving around YOU instead of talking about herself, her own life, her own goals, relationships, etc.
They will also try to hide their gossip/complaints as "concern" so they don't look like the bad guy.
For example, I am very happy with my boyfriend but when I first introduced him to my family and friends, she would be fake nice to our faces and say "I AM SOOOO happy for you!!!" "WHAT A CUTE COUPLE" and other shallow compliments but then complain about us behind our backs, saying we are "too co-dependent", "he's too controlling", "she can do better", "I don't like the look of him" or other superficial lies that are masked as concerns. (Jsyk not in an abusive relationship or anything but with the way she talks about us it SOUNDS like it. When she complains about us to her friends and then they meet us, they look at her like she's crazy because we are by all means a normal functioning couple).
Even in casual friend gatherings when I'm absent, I am told that she brings us up all the time. I don't know why she talks about us a lot unprompted. My only guess is that we are on her mind because she is jealous that I am not single anymore and have a successful relationship when she doesn't? I think she seethes because my relationship has progressed far faster than hers has with us moving in before she moved in with her boyfriend (and that's literally her obsessive goal right now).
I think there are types of people in the world that use the people around them as measurements of their own self-esteem, success and confidence. For example, I was single and a turbovirgin. Being the loser virgin friend allowed her to feel superior and accomplished. When that title was stripped away by me entering a relationship (and not a crappy one either), she suddenly feels inferior. Her friend, a loser virgin, is suddenly not a virgin anymore and has progressed and reached a relationship milestone before she did. It made her feel crappy, unaccomplished and look bad in compaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 90190

>>90073
I see, thank you for the explanation.



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