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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019

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Anonymous 19259[Reply]

I know it sounds edgy but when I found this place a I felt profound sense of belonging. I’m so glad I found you, sisters.

Anonymous 19260

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>>19259
please stay with us forever

Anonymous 19263

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>>19259
We love you too, anon-chan <3

Anonymous 19291

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I wuv everypony here

Anonymous 19888

I feel that still.
Please don't die.



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anyone else get crushes too fast/too easy? Anonymous 19711[Reply]

i fall in love way too easily, and way too fast..

i've kinda had a romance deprived life, and now i get crushes on people way too easily and fast and it makes me feel really odd, and of course ends in heartbreak every time because of how quickly it happens.
anyone else relate?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19749

Yes both for 2d and 3d. In the case of 3d, any men that does just above the average (mind you I am at university so you gotta understand what I mean by average) in terms of self-care and who is friendly I develop feelings for. Those feelings however don’t particulary mean marriage and sex; as opposed to a desire to just start with forming a companionship at first

Anonymous 19753

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>>19711
i have a soft spot for kind guys who smile often. he can be morbidly obese or deformed, but man, if he says "thank you" a lot asks how i feel regularly… hnngg. it takes me a meeting or two to develop an intense crush on him.

Anonymous 19764

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No. In fact I have it totally the opposite. I don't have crushes and especially don't fall in love easily. It has happened to me just once, last year. And honestly I wish it wasn't like this because it takes such a special kind of person to make me feel like this. And thus the rejection feels that much more devastating.

I dare to say that this ruined my life to some extend. For me falling in love like this is once in a lifetime thing so I'm mentally crushed and I doubt I'll ever get over this shit. I wish falling in love or having crushes would be just easy for me so then I'd not take these things so seriously, but I can't help it.

Anonymous 19765

Not usually, but when I do, yes! Currently, I can't tell if it's because I genuinely like the person or I'm lonely and I like the attention I get from him.

Anonymous 19885

>>19711
I actually have the opposite problem. I don't get crushes very often but when I do they won't go away and I become way too obsessive. The person I'm crushing on at the moment has been my crush for almost half a year now. That whole thing leads to me being emotionally unavailable and unfocused and I hate it. I WISH I NEVER GOT A CRUSH ON ANYONE AND I COULD JUST LIVE NORMALLY



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Anonymous 19865[Reply]

>Be me
>Have feels

WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL, CAN’T I JUST BE LIKE DARIA

mfw

Anonymous 19876

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Daria had a lot of feels, that's why she was so depressed. Did you even watch the show, anon?



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Anonymous 2619[Reply]

Dear crystal.cafe
I'm turning 22 in a few days and for some reason I feel incredibly old ( most people I work / interact with are 18-20)

What is something that you would like to have known when you where 22?
What is some advice you wish someone had given you ?
37 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5121

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Don't drop out of college and buy a used car instead of leasing a new car. You need full insurance coverage on a lease and that is very expensive, at least $220/month in a place with high insurance rates like California. Find a four-door Honda Civic for less than $10k that's only a few years old, that's a really good and safe car.

The workplace is not a good place to make friends at this age because most people have an "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to WIN" attitude so don't even expect that, your job is a way to make money and nothing else so don't have unrealistic expectations and brace your anus for the intense suffering of being part of the workforce. Corporate jobs are not the be-all-end-all of normiedom, it's fine to have a badly paying but chill job that you like in a position that's not respected by society like being a janitor if the stress levels are more tolerable for your fragile mental health. You can still own a house with a badly paying job so long as you have a partner who is a main breadwinner who makes decent money and doesn't mind you not contributing equally financially.

You need a household net income of at least $35k to be able to afford a mortgage on a modest home in the ballpark of $200k, which is very doable in many parts of America that are good and safe. You'll often hear that you need 20% down to buy a home but there is a thing called a FHA home loan which is insured through the US government that allows you to only put down 3.5%. Start saving up $10k for that now. You need a credit score of at least 580 to qualify for the 3.5% down offer so start building your credit now.

God is enough, if you come into this world and leave it knowing you're loved you can put up with any intense suffering and bullshit that happens in between.

Anonymous 5122

>>5121
I guess my post is kind of off topic because it isn't really aging advice but just general life advice I wish someone had told me at 22 cause I had to figure out all this really intimidating adult financial stuff about buying cars and homes and insurance on my own.

Anonymous 5143

>>2678
I could use some advice on how exactly to go about finding these older role models…

Anonymous 19468

>>5121

really like your advice. thank you anon

Anonymous 19800

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>>2648
I'm not OP but
>implying most men ever looked at my plain Jane face with any sense of interest/attraction

Don't need to worry about getting old and unattractive if you were never really attractive in the first place.



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Eating Disorder General Anonymous 645[Reply]

A thread for the discussion of eating disorders. Anything goes, from anorexia to bulimia, orthorexia to binge-eating disorder etc.

>when did your ED first emerge?

>was there anything in particular that triggered it?
>how has it affected you as an individual?
>if they're aware, how have your family and friends reacted to it?
>have you ever deliberately encouraged its development?
>have you ever attempted recovery?
>did you ever participate in ED-centric online communities (i.e. MPA, LJ, Tumblr)?

Pro-ana thinspiration is disallowed as per rule 10.

(OP is River's Edge by Okazaki Kyoko)
96 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 18939

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>when did your ED first emerge?
14 years old
>was there anything in particular that triggered it?
I hated myself and I thought getting thinner would help me with that.
>how has it affected you as an individual?
Honestly it actually made me hate myself less. ED is the only thing that gives me real sense of power, control and success. I also think I look prettier now. I'm so fucked up and my life is so pathetic that I'm actually pro-ED when it comes to my life.
>if they're aware, how have your family and friends reacted to it?
They just want me to eat and tell me I'm too thin
>have you ever deliberately encouraged its development?
Yes.
>have you ever attempted recovery?
Yes, big mistake. Never again.
>did you ever participate in ED-centric online communities (i.e. MPA, LJ, Tumblr)?
Yes

Anonymous 18944

>>645
OP I just wanted to say that I've skimmed over this thread since it was made and on a whim I read the manga last night. Thanks for the rec.

Anonymous 19734

>>18777

this is lifetime movie material. i'm sorry you had to live this anon, it sounds awful. i'm glad you recovered.

Anonymous 19737

anyone else terrified that they're gonna screw up their brains for being anachan? https://www.verywellmind.com/brain-starvation-and-recovery-in-anorexia-nervosa-1138303

Anonymous 19799

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>>19734
Haha I know, it is a bit tragic. Thanks anon, I'm glad things are better now too. Makes it all worth it tbh.



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Self help/introspective books Anonymous 10361[Reply]

Y'all read? Lately I've had a rough time obsessing over everything, hating myself, and not regulating my emotions. What are some written materials that have helped you become a better person, or see yourself/humanity in a different light?

I like the "This is Water" graduation speech by David Foster Wallace haha. And this.
13 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 18917

>>10363
i read this!!! and can confirm it was one of the books which helped me out of my rut. really good read.

Anonymous 18943

>>18913

Ugh, it's the worst. I'm trying to get out of of wageslaving for The Man, but I'm too much of an antisocial brainless think of anything really innovative or fruitful. :/

Anonymous 19098

>>18943
It's annoying to me that on paper, capitalism is supposed to be this super pragmatic system where everything is based on market relations and efficiency, but for some reason every corporation tries to turn itself into a religion / culture, making you chant slogans and participate in dumb "traditions" and shit.

Quite hypocritical if you ask me.

Anonymous 19099

>>19098
Big companies want Capitalism in sales and feudalism in employees and suck at both

Anonymous 19743

Marcus Aurelius-Meditations



Cardcaptor.Sakura.…

Soulmates & Twin Flames Anonymous 21466[Reply]

Do you believe they exist? At least at some level? If yes/no, why?

>A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust.

>A twin flame shares many similarities with a soul mate. A twin flame can also be your soul mate, but to a more extreme level. Twin flames derive from the same soul, and are separated into two when they are created.

Anonymous 21467

Soulmate is bad enough of a term, bit twin flame is just fucking autistic.

Anonymous 21468

No, I think it's just a term that people want to attach to a relationship/friendship to make it feel more special.

Anonymous 21469

Both to a certain degree. It's only bullshit until it happens to you.

Anonymous 21470

I used to think so but then I realized I was just a friendless retard desperate for a special connection with someone like in the fantasies I think up in my head

Anonymous 21471

After separating from who I thought was my soulmate, hell no. I think it's just feeling madly in love with someone you have a lot in common with.



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Unsent letters Anonymous 2119[Reply]

Ever wanted to give someone a piece of your mind but you know you'd just regret it? Post in here and get it off your chest.
82 posts and 18 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19090

O,

It was short and fast, and I don't know how I got so stuck on you but I did. Despite all our differences and how cold and uncaring you wanted to seem, I've seen that inner part of you that is different. I wanted it to work out, maybe a little too much and that chased you off.
Just know I wish you nothing but the best.
(J)

Anonymous 19093

dear r,
i'm going to speak to you this year. within the next few months, lemme polish my skills first.
we may not be friends & it might end badly but this admiration has gone on for too long? i'll give it a try

Anonymous 19495

>>3218
Are you sure you have a learning disability? Your writing is excellent, even if too sweet for my taste. My diagnosis is you're being a dummkopf because of depression. People with disabilities don't write half as good as you. Dummy!

I write for an hour (almost) every day before clocking into work, and on weekends. It's not too late for you.
Dummy!

Signed,
Psychology major who's also a future world-renowned author.

Anonymous 19523

>>3218
this get me intriged, what do you do for a living?

Anonymous 19718

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Dear C,

I know we will probably never talk again. Part of me is relieved because of the amount of pain you've caused me through the years, but I can't lie. It hurts to think I won't ever hear from you anymore. I am so happy, I feel so loved. Things have happened and so much has changed, but every now and then I think of you. You brought me so much happiness, and you took it all away too… With your pain and all the mental and emotional anguish you were in. I wish I never destroyed the things you gave me, but I know it was the best decision. I miss your laughter and your happy face, even if in the final months all I could get from you were screams and offensive words. I want you to succeed, I want you to rise up, I want you to overcome all the bad things – I want you to be happy. If people only knew I secretly still wish you all of this, maybe they would tell me you don't deserve me wishing you good things because of what you did to me, but my heart speaks louder. Maybe we really are connected at a soul level, it is the only explanation… Thus we will always be together, even if we're never close in person. And only if you knew… How close of you I am again… You will never know, never.

Miss the you I learned how to love.

Signed,

T



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Anonymous 18689[Reply]

How do I make friends from here? Im pretty lonely and feel suicidal regularly. Just wanted a friend to share feels with and stuff
20 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous Moderator 18933

>>18919
There was a "friend finder" thread before but we had to hid it because guys would go there and harass the girls that posted their info.
We are planning to re-open the discord next month so that's a safe option.

Anonymous 18946

>>18933
Great you guys rule keep it up :)

Anonymous 18987

>>18933
I assume this is already in the works, but if you want to avoid harassment I would have a default role that doesn't have access to anything except a vetting channel, where girls would have to in some way or another prove they're not just shitters looking to harass.

Anonymous 19292

>>18933
That's too bad. I remember seeing something like that here before

Anonymous 19614

>>18689
>I just want an emotional outlet
No thanks, I don't need another draining person.



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Anonymous 19286[Reply]

>be on testosterone for 2 years
>thinking about detransitioning
>quit taking testosterone for 2 weeks
>vaginal pains start up again and I fear my period
>take testosterone again

REEEEEEEE I WANT OFF THIS RIDE
24 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19554

>>19286
Wouldn't this mean you're a male

Anonymous 19574

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I'm probably not any more mentally sound than you but you can join the mentally ill fujo club with me and become a little boy, it's fun

Anonymous 19576

>>19574
>larping as a larper
I don't know what to say.

Anonymous 19609

There are methods for you to avoid having a period; birth control is one way, and I think there are surgical methods that aren't painful (basing this off of hazy articles I've read in the past, you can do your own research). Why do you feel the need to transition?

Anonymous 19610

>>19576
get that gc2b and pose like a prince nigga, some people were born to be boys forever



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