/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>23058
>I'm done trying to make sense of this.

That's not the same man saying those contradictory things.

And the same man can want different things at different times. Emotions are fickle and can contradict each other.

And he could just be playing tough and pretending he doesn't have emotions because he's afraid of being rejected if he opens up.

And some people just demand maddeningly impossible and contradictory things from their partners without realizing it.

i was thinking about it and i think i'm particularly drawn to this kind of man because they seem more non-threatening to me than other men…

>>23058

Men say this about us all the time, but the reverse is certainly true when trying to understand their behavior; "pay attention to what they do, not what they say."

I had a bf once who was very quick to tell me he loved me, but treated me like crap, and I got my heart broken because I wanted to believe what he said.

I had a different bf who who was never verbally affectionate, never said out loud that he loved me even when I asked him if he did, but was always kind, considerate, thoughtful, emotionally available, devoted to making me happy, but I couldn't get over the fact that he found saying "I love you" to be difficult so I left him. He's been with his current gf for years now and they look so happy in all the pictures I see him post on fb.

My point is, don't listen to what people say. Does the person act emotionally connected to you? That probably won't just come out in one domain but not the other. Is the person cold and distance except when they want something from you (sex)? That's probably what they really want then.

>>15047
you might get handsome, but functional and stable is a lot to ask from a sub

>>23058
>men say sex is how they express affection and hugs are meaningless
Definitely not my bf… he's so handsy. He wants his arm around my shoulder or back at all times. Huggy and cuddly all the time.

Not to say the sex drive isn't there, just that he doesn't seem to ever want to not be touching me in some way, even if it's just holding hands.

So I use a combination of lolcow, PULL and crystal cafe but I think I'm really gonna stop browsing lolcow. I've noticed at least a handful of instances of people throwing around racial slurs pretty as well as farmers repeating some awful stereotypes. As someone who isn't white, they comes off pretty bad and feels hostile. I'm okay with edgy attempts at humor but the stuff I've seen really seems more like casual racism being openly expressed due to anonymity. I think that along with the nitpicking of other women's bodies while having threads complaining about sexism has become tired.

Apologies for the blogposting and if this belongs more in a venting thread or a more appropriate one.

>>28573
Imageboards known for a female userbase really opened my eyes to the existence of casual racism and racist shitposting among women.
For some reasons, I always thought we were better than men when it comes to this particular -ism. Guess we aren't after all lol.

>>28078
> I had thought that I might find company among other outcasts of society

this desu. I think I started browsing r9k in 2013-2014 really heavily, I remember thinking "these are other people who understand"

I miss it, maybe a little. but maybe that's just because I was an edgelord teenager with le internalized misogyny.

I remember those circlejerk avatarfag threads, oh god the memories/drama

>>17120
>edgy attempts at attention
yes
>What really makes me angry though is when meme culture/discourse spreads outside towards websites where it has no business in; such as serious discussions and the like. Most commonly in youtube comments or subreddits
no
Caustic bile tier memes will always exist to grab attention, some people desperately seek attention. Positive or negative attention, they are past caring which type they just need to feed their addiction. Any site with an up or down system will always be open to this no matter the mod quality. Only websites without upboats can escape it. I honestly think the future is tiny IRCs or discords for niche stuff.

>>16953
>>28573
I feel this so hard. I really enjoy the anonymity of a lot of imageboards, but the culture behind it gets to me all the time and I have to take breaks and leave.

>>29102

Make a thread on /hb/. If you want to see a certain type of community, take a step in making it happen.

>>29100
>>29119

Yeah, as someone who’s a female kv, I really wish that femcel communities had more gatekeeping to keep stacies out. It just confirms certain stereotypes, and women who have had sexual and romantic experiences really don’t understand us who have never in our lives experienced it.

>>29120

You make some good points, but I’m curious. Have you had sex before? Have you ever been in a romantic relationship? How old are you? If you are no longer lonely, how old were you when you got out of that situation? Sorry if these questions are intrusive, but I am getting older and aging and never experienced any of these things. I’ve tried so, so hard for decades and am about to give up. To use your analogy, for every African kid who eventually gets tap water, there are thousands who die miserably from water-borne illnesses. Was it because they didn’t try? No, sometimes they’re just out of luck in life and ended up in a shithole situation.

>>29086
Aren't a lot of incels from minority groups themselves?

>>29222
Yes and even those are often racist and misogynist (e.g. r/asianmasculinity)

Unfortunately sometimes people who are lonely are alone because theyre genuinely unplesant people to be around. Not you of course hun, but you have to come to expect it from "incel forums".

>>29199

I too like to lie on the internet

>>29182
>pre-2000's anime or even some studio ghibli

A woman of culture i see.

>>29221
What leads you to continue browsing this site? I’d expect maladjusted people who are too stubborn to improve to stick around, not the opposite.

>>29243
Why not? It's fun, gets you exposed to lots of different people, discuss things ordinary people won't and it's a much slower pace than 4chan so I only have to check in every now and then to continue a conversation.

>>29180
I did not even post my comics though.

You have no idea which based comic drawing lady i am.

>>29192
Don't care. Don't come here pretending to be all humble when you are very clearly attention whoring.
If you were based you wouldn't be posting that faggot.

>>29193
I am humble because i have not posted my comics and you don't know how based i am.

You created Moon Over June, didn't ya

>>29202
PLEASE ACCEPT ME IM SO FUCKING BASTE AND REDPILLED PLEASE IM SO FUCKING HUMBLE WHY WON'T ANYONE PRAISE ME

lol

Yeah, I’ve definitely hurt a lot of people and broken a lot of relationships/bonds in my life due to my mistakes under the influence of alcohol.

Maybe try AA? Also, find new friend groups/circles that are adamantly against drinking.

I'm not an alcoholic in the same way as you, OP, but I definitely struggle with addiction. I rarely get drunk anymore, but I used to pound half a fifth (750ml) of gin a night or two Tallboys of the highest percentage beer I could (icehouse edge). That was my normal.

Nowadays, I drink a couple beers a night and have since switched to a lighter beer, like Coors Light. However, I can't give it up. Nights I don't drink I crave it.

I don't really have any regrets of stuff I've done while drunk. I havent burned any bridges thanks to alcohol (I have benzos to thank for that) but I still can't give up the stuff.

>>29153
in a similar boat. I was sober for over a year because my ex made me be, once we broke up I saw no point. Now I am heavily struggling with addiction again. I want to get high or drink almost every day now. Last time I drink I got black out before we even made it to the club. I usually drink alone, and now I am usually high at work/when I go out with people. It's not fun. I don't want to keep doing this, but it's better than when I was abusing vicodin and the like.

I don't do anything embarrassing but I feel bad when others have to take care of me. or when they have to interact with me when I am obviously high or drunk. I am concerned I am going to lose the few friends that I have. I need to stop, I don't know how else to stop and I dont know what else I could use as an actual distraction/make me feel not like shit for once

I've been to the hospital multiple times for alcohol poisoning and overdoses, I've crashed parties because of the fact I binge drink, and I've lost a couple of friendships as a result, too.

It's difficult because what is a "normal" amount to drink for others is a very high amount for me. I also apparently don't seem as drunk as I am to others until it's too late (i.e. I'm vomiting, convulsing, unconsciousness, etc.).

I don't feel that much remorse for it on a personal level. I feel some guilt for involving others and inconveniencing them, and I wish they'd just let me die and suffer the consequences I deserve.

>I'm studying something that I love deeply
Do you really? Or you just told yourself it's what you like because it'll pay more and you won't have to struggle to make ends meet, but be able to travel or do some other stuff that everyone seems to like that requires money?
Exercise. Physical effort produces chemistry that makes you happy. But don't do this quick exercises that will make you just warm and not break sweat. Do something like setting a goal that you aren't even sure you can meet, like running a lap around lake or try to get to a place within some very short time. If you get tired, don't stop, if you'll see that your goal time passed, don't stop, push yourself until it hurts, force yourself to finish the line. Next day it'll hurt but you'll also feel amazing. And you'll feel even better when after weeks of trying you'll finally meet the goal. Bonus points if you run with the dog or bf and you both get tired.

>>29042
That's why I'm being so comfused about this. I mean everybody has some kind of problems in their
life, some got really bad overall situations and they arent feeling like this, so who am I to feel this shitty. I'm so scared of being selfish about it and I'm even more scared because I feel this feelong isnt going anywhere.
Plus, whole deal about depression in my country is somehow taboo, everyone's kinda depressed because of our living standard, it's not usual to go seek help from a shrink.

>>29045
I'm at film school and my work is based around it, I work as a video editor part time and I'm a teaching assistant at film directing course.
It's great really. Great.


And because everything is going really ok, I feel like I'm being selfish. I'm not a dramatic, overly emotional, crying myself to sleep over something someone said type of a girl so I'm having it really tough because everyone around me must feel like "oh she's a tough one, she's an optimist she's going to be ok the best we can do is let her be" And maybe they're right(BUT STILL). That's why I'm so glad that you girls are so supportive.

I'm going try changing my diet and get some alone time with some cardio, I don't feel like it will help emotionally but if I try using baby steps on a bunch of different things, maybe it will somehow fill a hole in my heart or whatever. Until I find what to actually do about this.

Thank you so much again. I feel like I know little about depression that I might even insult someone here, because I don't even know if this is it for sure.

>>29093
Okay it doesn't pertain to your topic, but I think it's super cool that your in film school! I'm starting a film philosophy class right now and I'm super excited for it.

Cardio does really help with mood. When ever I'm feeling down or stressed going for a run really helps. I hope you find something that works, I think the most frustrating thing about being depressed is when there's nothing really wrong in your life but you still feel apathetic and off anyway.

>>29095
>when there's nothing really wrong in your life but you still feel apathetic and off anyway

That's it. That right there.


(Also I'm really glad to hear about the class, good luck and have fun.)

>>29096
Thanks, I know things suck right now, I’ve been there before, but I hope things get better

>>29089
Stopped watching at "only a senior in highschool".

>>29068
It's so strange, I have a friend that feels the same as you, but she has boyfriend now that's shorter than her and has a babyface, sweet type of a guy. So that works for her, maybe it will work for you too. Try being a dominant one.

>>29069
Btw sorry for double posting but I just saw it and God I fear women so much, I can't predict anything as if I'm not one of them. Also I'm strongly attracted to them so that makes me want them even more I guess.
Most of my long lasting friendship through my life were with male species. Women sence that I can be manipulated I guess.

100% of my bullies were male so I developed an aversion to them growing up. I know rationally they're just humans but I feel like I don't really "get them", when I'm around them I feel on edge all the time and just want to leave as soon as possible. I don't speak to any unless they talk to me first. I get upset when I have to go to the male cashier or have a male waiter. In school I avoided speaking to my male teachers and professors as much as possible, asking only for help from female teachers or peers. Lurking their spaces online has only further poisoned my view of them. I have only ever gotten along with a few men when I talked through the internet.

>>29070
Unfortunately I still register short babyface men as men so I still am fearful around them. I don't think I could fake a dominant attitude. For now at least I'm mostly satisfied with having close female friends.
>>29071
Why do you feel women want to manipulate you?
In my opinion men have more of a motivation to manipulate a woman because women by default have something they want.
>>29080
I do all of what you do, I always try to pick female professors and sit by at least one other women in my classes. If I were to ask for help from a man I feel they would think something along the lines of "stupid woman". All of my bullies when I was younger were male as well. The only man I get along with is my uncle I only see a few times a year.

>>29081
Cause when a man make damage that's straight forward. Like a fast burn. And when a woman hurst you that stays, they make sure of that. It's under your skin.That's how I see it .

>>28832
What branch/mos are you in? Ive been comsidering joining the military because I dont want to go to university, but I also dont want to sign away several years of my lofe to a bunch of morons leering at me 24/7. Ive heard the Air Force is femalw friendly, is that true at all?

>>28951
Army, not US so I can't tell you what it's gonna be like over there but for the love of god, deon't make the same mistake everyone does of openning your legs as soon as you get in. Don't care if he's a pilot, a commando or your seargent, respect yourself if you want others to look at you more than just a fuck. The amount of girls that get in, do just that and fuck their way to a cruisy gig or better treatment is ridiculous, don't push the stereotype further. I'm currently looking at getting out though, this job is 100% not for women; the amount of injuries we get compared to men is ridiculous even with the lowered standards, going a desk job is different though.
Your choice of course and dependant on what your going in to. Also don't just join because it's "good for you", "a nice change", "sort you life out", etc. Have some patriotism and do it for a reason other than yourself.

>>28953
This is the moidest shit I've ever read.

>>28967
Are you in the military?
Do you understand the biological differences between men and women?

Women were working as nurses in both world wars, soaked up to their elbows in young mens blood, witnessing their pain and agony daily. But still they persisted through horrific scenes and saved the lives and minds of many soldiers. The media pushes a fairytale of women on the frontline while the real heroes are basically forgotten. Feminism is a disease against women.

>>28819
Get in circles with people who share your similar interests, show interest, be open and interact, if he doesn't really approach you and you think it's because of shyness try yourself first and see how that goes