/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>121902
trvthke

>>120009
male hands typed this

I've only ever once fallen in love, during my first year in college. I have never met anyone else I've wanted to date. And now it seems impossible, since now everyone my age isn't a virgin, so I'll never find true love.

>>122188
What should he have said - that he has plenty of other options? Would that make you feel better?

>>122786
why are you replying to a month old post?

>>122795

Gets pretty intoxicating tbh

>>122795
If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.

>>122688
She sounds mentally unwell. Have her checked into the ward.

>>122694
Those cost money dum-dum, why make a broke women broke-er. Never institutionalise loved ones, not even your worst enemies.

>>122718
Psych wards should be free, like prison

>>122616
You can still recover, as long as you're not fat.

new rock bottom, havent been with anyone for nearly 10 yrs and recently slept with someone who pretended tobe cool with a close intimate relationship but was actually creting an environment of confusion and pain. im shattered and weak and relapsing.

>>122739
yup

>>122738
Fuck you, you homophobic piece of shit.
You are the reason women will never be free.

>>122745
LOL nona is just unlucky and straight

>>122745
Rude >:(

>>122738
>>122745
>>122747
acechads just can't stop winning

>>122707
shut up retard

>>122708
Heh

>>122697
>Zoomers don't know Meryl Streep
I feel old now :(

>>122751
That doesn't change the fact that she looks like JK Rowling

>>122761

Hope your eyes start working again soon

>>122728
>The idea that the Patriarchy is organizing globally to keep women down is nuts
have you never seen men harping on women when they are trying to speak against abusive men. 90% of them unanimously start spouting the same shit like "le fake rape allegations" or whatnot.

what you're posting sounds like a schizo projecting their life experience onto everyone no offense lol

>>122728
nothing brings men together more than keeping women down honestly

>>122746
When I was in college all a Woman had to do was whisper and fratboys would get expelled without evidence.

>>122742


They get weak because of their fathers and social groups.

A man before wanted to fuck kids.

He grew up, married, had kids, realized its dumb.

Nowadays he can just join a group for kid fuckers on the internet and be a part of a single collective.

Men have a tendency of thinking as a mass, as a collective.

>>122750
sure troon

>>121997
all the people that matter dont use cringe social media anyway

>If you dont get tiktok/twitter/facebook then how will you socialize with others huh silly?

Honestly, I think that these normie social medias make you a bit dumb and with a rather idiotic way of communicating, based on repetitive memes. Maybe the best way to learn how to socialize is to get a worthwhile job and communicate with people at a high level.

genuinely these "normie" social media are filled to the brim with some of the most schizopathic people possible

>>122716
Normalfags act you like have the plague when you tell them you don't have social media

Being a people-pleaser might feel like a defect or wrong behavior, but in a way it kind of is not for someone who's been through neglect or trauma. In fact, it's very logical.

Imagine having lacked care and love all your life. You will eventually try to seek it. So how do you do it? By trying to become caring and pleasing yourself because that's what you secretly want.

This is a vital quality for good relationships built on trust and love - and if this is something you desire and seek for, how can becoming such a person be possibly dumb?

Now on the other hand, there's an alternative explanation for such behavior. (and really common for women) It's having been beat down by authority figures so much your brain can't fathom behaving different - the conditioning overpowers you the moment you try to react to something. Once again, you're not stupid if this is what happened to you.

Your "caring too much" and "people-pleasing" is two things:
1) A need that desperately tries to get itself satisfied. Whether it is for love, trust or vulnerability.
2) Never having been taught how to perceive and act upon the world that isn't a survival mechanism.

For me personally, forgiving myself for point 2 helped me with point 1 cause I learned how to have a bit of empathy for myself. You need to take the emotional toll off of yourself and stop blaming - it only makes it harder to behave rationally.
What also helped was talking to other trauma survivors - these are the only people genuinely capable of empathizing with us. Honestly even the cptsd memes subreddit helped. Even finding someone who's just willing to listen helps. (the vent thread here was really cool for that last time I used it)
Finally, something that's more important for the "beat down by authority" types - it's finding an environment that encourages you to pick yourself first. Maybe it's the feminists or something else. My favorite is a Russian misandrist memes group and cptsd meme groups lol.

>>122584
OP here. Not sure if it’s the same IP, I’ve moved recently.

I get what you’re saying and I wish I could internalize it better. But truth is, I’m tired. I’m tired of being the one who gets the blame even when I haven’t done anything wrong. Someone treats me like shit and somehow I end up being the one who stays kind. Like I can’t help it.

I have this need, maybe obsession, with being liked by everyone. Like if even one person dislikes me, it feels like I’ve failed as a human being. I know it’s not healthy and I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s hardwired into me somehow. Every part of me feels like I have to be soft, safe, easy to like, no matter the cost.

And it’s exhausting. I’m fed up with constantly trying to prove I’m good enough for people who wouldn’t care if I vanished tomorrow.

I also have this habit of oversharing. Trauma-dumping, talking about people behind their backs, just to feel understood or less alone. I know it makes me look bad. And maybe it is bad. But I never do it out of malice. It’s more like I’m always trying to let the pressure out before it breaks me.

Still, it makes people see me as two-faced. Fake. Someone to avoid. I guess I’ve made peace with being misunderstood, but it still hurts.

I don’t know how to stop caring about people who clearly don’t care about me. I don’t know how to stop giving parts of myself away to people who never asked for them in the first place.

I just want to be okay with being me, even if not everyone likes that version.

>>122695
Is there a cece version?

>>122686
OP, the root of the matter is your need for intimacy, and it's fine to have, it's just part of your personality - but there are less and more healthy ways of achieving it with others. The less healthy way is by giving others sympathy as a way of projecting what you need, you may validate them to the point of enabling and that may cause alienation. People need to hear the truth, but also know that you start off with a subjective truth, and that depending on the circumstance truths change - therefore the healthy way of connecting is by asking for feedback regarding everything - any judgments you have of how things work, who a person seems at first sight, what are a person's preferences, really- anything. This actually is a much more self-centered approach ultimately, because you're investing in your own ability to formulate accurate judgments over time. That is your road to power and connection.

>>120138
Youtube, FB and 4cuck
Youtube s getting harder since they're autoflag system is super fast and I dont really want to lose my account with all my music playslists….
I had to give up Xitter because I can't compete with actual racists and retards. I've unironically talked to /pol/tards with more tact and nuance than Xitter Nazis.

>>120119
I LOVE RAGEBAITING PEOPLE IRL ITS 10 TIME FUNNIER YOU SHOUDL DEFINITELY TRY IT

>>120159
ftfy

>>122303
The idea of "confessing" is terrible course of action to begin with, but you probably fucked up in other ways too. If you aren't interested in friendship, just give it up.
I recommend keeping the conversation history in the form of an archive so that you can refer to it in the future if necessary.

>>122303
Yeah, just forget the whole thing.

>>122306
This art of Tomoko is very aesthetic