/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>27582
>>27583
>she doesn't have to
I know that. I don't technically have to get a degree. I'm not being forced at gunpoint or anything. But of course there's more nuance to my statement than I fit into the OP. College itself is a flawed concept, at least in its execution in modern times. Most people don't need college to become capable of working, nor should they be there. Yet society has made it so that a degree is a basic requirement for most jobs, so many people are forced to go into debt and/or waste 4+ years in school when they could be making money.

In the past, people who really wanted college, including women, could pursue that, while others were able to live just as good lives without it. Now, the avenues of success are much narrower. The man and the woman need a degree because a single-income family is near impossible, eliminating for many underprivileged women the choice of pursuing motherhood rather than being forced into work.

>Yet, because she doesn't like the consequences of that choice, she prefers that no one else gets to have a degree.
I'm not saying women should all be forced into servitude to their husbands. I'm saying that it was better that women weren't expected to go to college and work in the past. If that's what they wanted to do, they were able to, though I admit it took great effort and the women who did pursue that path faced much difficulty. Nowadays the options are skewed in the opposite direction, where women who want to be housewives face challenges due to the devaluing of labor brought about by women entering the workforce en masse and the inflated value of a college degree.

Both situations create unbalanced choices for the roles a woman can take on. However, being a housewife and nurturer aligns with our biology, so why is society pushing us to act contrary to that in the name of equality for its own sake, at the cost of the stability of the family unit?

>>27874
Just finish out the degree but also snag a guy. There's no way he'll say no. Then you'll be able to get a free ride after college.
Men have done it many times for lying manipulative bitches, I'm sure they'd be pretty happy to know you're honest about your feelings.

>>27875
You're right. Reactionary views are pure cope for the most part. Maybe the past was better, but all we can do in the present is work with the framework we're given. Just sucks to look back on what seems so much better and know that the option no longer exists as it once did.

>>27876
Well, it is true that wages have been effectively halved in most cases.
but on the other hand. there are alot of ways you can help your man to try and get promoted quicker, and then you're family would be bringing in the money without you needing to give up on housewifery. Plus, if he, by some miracle, has very little debt, then it'll be easier for him to pay for you.

>>27875
>Just finish out the degree but also snag a guy. There's no way he'll say no.
Nothing makes a nice dowry like student debt.

>>26421
I don't know anon… You're a stronger woman than me, I'd honestly just prefer to let the relationship crumble from his needs not being met, if I couldn't meet them myself. I'm too insecure and equally jealous… Marriage is kind of awful like that, you have to make compromises or watch all that hard work go to waste.

>>26440
>>I'm too insecure

I thought of it this way:

A person becomes insecure in a relationship because they're worried that they're going to lose their partner.

So in my case, my insecurity that he might come to like another woman is really a fear of losing him.

But if I thought he would leave me if his needs aren't being met, isn't that just as much reason to be insecure? And I feel like it's much more likely that a man would leave a relationship outright if his sexual needs aren't met, than that he would leave a relationship where he has everything except kink for a woman who provides nothing except kink.

Also, and this is not AT ALL how I think of him, but we have a baby together so I feel almost more comfortable now with the idea of him sleeping with other women because I have an unbreakable link to him. I think many men would cheat when they have a kid, but very few men would leave when they have a kid unless they were kicked out for the cheating.

And, all of this is beside the point; I don't see letting him sleep around as something I would do because I am afraid of the consequence of him not getting to be kinky. I see it as an opportunity to do something nice for him because he never took advantage of his good looks and charm because we met and committed to each other at a young age, frankly before he really understood how broad his options probably were. He's always been loyal to me, and frankly many men wouldn't in his situation, so I feel like I could give him something he missed out on but never had a chance to enjoy.

And it's all doubly beside the point because he said 'no' when I suggested it. Though, I have to say, opening up like this and sort of defending my offer, and thinking about this more deeply than I have before in a while, it almost makes me want to bring it up again and makes me excited that if he thought I really wanted him to do it, he would say yes and get to enjoy it.

>>26441
Your insecurity may stem from your partner leaving, but personally, my insecurity has nothing to do with my partner. It has everything to do with me. I'd prefer my partner left me, instead of him banging a woman on the side. But again, that's just me.

If you think you'd be okay with it, then for sure go with it, but if he would inevitably cheat anyway (I know you trust him, but people are weak in the end), what's the difference? Is it that you know what he'd be doing that makes you feel better?

kind of boring lol

>>26294
Had to reschedule it again and again as virgins came whenever an attractive female even slightly touches them.

Sad possibility; you'll be loved, but not legitimately desired by the one who loves you. Love is emotional, and despite the memes, men are capable of love and emotion. But they aren't capable of being attracted to someone solely as a result of love.

>>27779
what this anon says.

As much as the "just put yourself out there" is dumb advice that doesn't help, that's probably why you aren't finding a qt bf/gf, not your body.
People with physical deformities and serious medical issues can find and have found love before you.

>>27779
Why don't you get a better body though?

>>27823
>>27787
>>27779
Everybody says this, but in their real life, they wouldn't look at an ugly girl or guy as a potential partner, unless they feel they're "settling". Everybody wants to be with somebody pretty, or at least mildly desirable, that's the sad truth.

You can say "but ugly men like Tom Yorke get pretty girls all the time! It's not fair! They're so shallow!" Well, there's either "rugged" men which are just another way of being attractive, like Tom Yorke. And then there's really ugly men (like Donald Trump) which simply have money or stuff like that. They aren't really attractive, they're just exchanging money for gf. Are you willing to pay for a partner?

Desiring an attractive partner isn't shallow. Our desire and considerations regarsig beauty are what makes us human. Also its impirtant for sex, which can be the deepest form of human bonding after the filial (mother/father + child) bond!

On the other hand, it's not impossible to get a really pretty body, even with unlucky genes.

Everybody is just trying to maje you feel better. I'm trying giving you actually useful advice

>>27822
>But they aren't capable of being attracted to someone solely as a result of love.
Sorry for slightly derailing the thread but can you tell me more please? What exactly do you mean by that? Are they not the same as women who are capable of developing attraction to someone they love based on personality?

>>27827
It's a meme by girls who had to try to look pretty, and then after getting a man, they totally let themselves go to the point where the guy isn't aroused by them anymore.

I got a friend whose part of another social circle where this is happening. This guy got a GF, she came into the social circle fold, I've seen her now and again she was relatively thin, a lil chub but totally healthy weight when they first started dating. After like 5 years, she like doubled her weight, pushing on tripling it and he won't even touch her sexually anymore. The dude is pretty fit and he never liked fat girls. So while he loves and cares for her, she totally let herself go to the point where they won't fuck anymore.

>>27614
One of the few saving graces of NEET-dom is time. It takes a long while to get good. Besides cultivating your own talent through practice and personal ventures, you can try being more patient with yourself when you see yourself making a mistake. If you focus on digital art all you need to do is undo the previous actions. If you notice the mistake when the piece is done, write down what's off and vow to fuck up less in that department for future works. Once that's developed the next step is appreciating your strengths and passions.
Then again it's one thing to want to do something and mustering the energy to execute the solution. I want to write and work on more projects but often lose myself to inertia and endless edits. I'm getting somewhere though, albeit with baby steps.

would anyone here maybe want to be friends on discord or kik or something

>>27810
i wanna be friends!

>>27812
lmao i forgot to post my discord hahaha
its sorei#6361

>>27810
Added! I hope you don’t mind

1. Making cozy little igloos in the middle of a field/forest with my 3 older brothers and drinking hot cocoa in them.
2. Going out at night with my best friend to lay down in the grass and watch the stars
3. Going every weekend to my grandparents house and having fun by watching disney movies with them and help grandpa out in his garden

Walking home from school with a special friend of mine.
tf no childhood friend route option in adulthood

I used to pick up nice looking rocks and snail shells and nice looking things and put them all into a small tartan purse.
I wish I still had that purse so I could go through all my treasures :(

>>18046
I can't think of anything

Playing Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven with my cousin doing the co-op boss rush mode. It was insanely difficult and took us basically an entire summer to beat trying over and over again. When we finally beat it we freaked out. We also used to play super smash bros n64 all the time.

>>27600
What is “that other site”?

>>27605
4chan's /lgbt/ (or, nowadays, /tttt/)

I've only ever been in love one time and it was with someone I dated for 6 years in and after high school. We have been separated/haven't seen or talked in about 7 years. Haven't been with someone since. It's rough but love can fuck you up. I don't know if I'm even capable of being in a relationship now. I think I am, but I tend to fuck up every single one that has any chance of being more than just a fling. Doesn't help that dating culture is absolutely disgusting nowadays.

>>27600
I don’t understand what you’re saying. What does this post have to do with troons?

>>27667
When you tell someone "Don't listen to other anons" that is saying "All other posts are incorrect and you need to listen to me." But reading the rest of this chain you are special kind of stupid so it doesn't matter. You are the type of stupid I see on twitter all day at this point. No ability to grasp the context of the conversation, but still willing to throw in their opinion and then die on a hill that wasn't relevant to the conversation to begin with while calling everyone else wrong.

>>27383
I give him gifts whenever I can manage it. I like making him happy.

>>27466
I was venting, but I did tell him a couple days later.

>>27560
I don't understand why it's so hard to get what someone wants. I understand if you've only dated for a month, and don't know the person… But surely men listen? Surely they can connect dots. "My girlfriend eats skittles. I will buy her skittles today." I understand that men can't guess what a woman feels, but not being able to figure out their hobbies, interests, or foods they like? Come on. And personally, all I want is just nice little things that prove he listens and wants to surprise me. Gum, a bookmark, etc. Nothing expensive or out there.

>>27724
What's gold diggerish about wanting your boyfriend to pay attention to your interests and get you things that relate to them? I get my boyfriend comic books, food, video games. He didn't have to ask, I just did it because I care.

__
I don't know. I talked to him guys, and he said he heard me and would try. It just felt so weird to have to explain what I wanted. I guess from now on I'll be as blunt as possible, but it feels rude. Eh.. But he's a nice guy.

>>27775
The issue about the gold digging thing stems from the major core theme I see on this board when it comes to relationship communication break down with men. Everyone's mentality on here is "I think this way, and I am this way, thus my boyfriend must be this way too and I'm angry he isn't."

In this case it's more "I give gifts so I expect gifts in return." which isn't really a gift, but like a now romantic debt? It goes past the definition of what a gift is. You are basically expecting payment from him because you gave him a payment he never asked for. And that's why it's a bit gold diggish because you aren't doing it purely because you care and want to give things to someone to see them happy. It may be the major motivation, but now you desire it to be reciprocated which isn't what a gift is and that's why it must be conveyed. And in reality, it is a little rude, because you aren't being honest with yourself and the motivations behind these acts.

You just gotta accept the fact that he just doesnt fundamentally care about your happiness unless it somehow benefits him directly as well. So dont expect gestures like this. And if it makes you sad that you do things to make him happy and show you care and they go unreciprocated, stop doing them. He probably doesn't appreciate it anyway

>>27777
You're misunderstanding me completely. I don't want gifts because I give gifts. I want them because to me, that's an expression of affection. Now if I do this often enough to notice I have nevwr been a gift, I am entitled to complain. Your reasoning doesn't make any sense here and you aren't bothering to read between to the lines.

>>27785
No, I enjoy giving gifts and won't stop. If this begins to bother me too much I'll simply leave.

>>3103
He was emotionally abusive when I was growing up, I always felt on edge whenever he was around. One minute he would put me down about something like not doing the dishes right and the next minute would say how proud he is of me. The worst was school, he would try to tutor me in math and if I got a problem wrong it would be endless screaming about how stupid I am (I was 8 struggling with long division); I would leave to go to the bathroom to silently cry. He threatened to kick my ass if I didn't get into college because my PSAT score wasn't good, I was 14 and beyond nervous about that text because of him. He never hit me but I use to be very scared that he would, he could've easily beat the shit out of me since I'm practically a stick. After I tried to kill myself a couple years ago he's become a lot nicer.

He had a hard life, grew up really poor in a third world country with a single mom and several siblings; he spent all of his time working and studying and came to America for a better life. It's actually pretty inspiring since he embodies the American Dream but I wish he more compassionate growing up, I was the only foreign person in my elementary school and got picked on. Felt like I had no support at home or school.

>>26221
I disagree with you lying of course, but to piggyback I also worry about someone judging me as having ~daddy issues~ and the traits that supposedly entails (interest in older men, promiscuity, being controlling, cheating, etc.) since I don't have those specific ones. I've dealt with what problems did manifest (anger at men and poor self esteem resulting in social anxiety) and what's left is…odd, but not unhealthy or bad for a relationship. I just want to care for a guy a lot.

Anyone else itt worried about this? It's a bit depressing.

I don't know if my father was/is bad father or if he was/is simply incapable of ever being a good father. What I mean by that is, he never hit me or molested me or anything like that. But he was also never there when I needed him and still isn't. He came to one of my band concerts when I was in middle school but never another thing after that. For some reason I remember he wore his green polo, which was his "I'm trying to dress nice, so there" shirt. Every other shirt was dirty or full of holes. After that and before that concert, he never came to anything. He didn't even come to my graduation, and I worry he won't come to my wedding either so I toy with the idea of inviting and uncle and pretending he's my father.

My dad doesn't know my birthday. He hasn't gotten me a gift, a card, or even said happy birthday. He doesn't call on holidays, he doesn't check on me. If I call him because he's the only thing I can turn to, his words of wisdom are brief and forgettable and he will push me off on another family member he assumes can say something better. Occasionally he tells me to tell my mom he still loves her, and pines for a second chance with her.

He's childish and he's thick headed and he's selfish. My childhood was full of him screaming at my mother and her taking us (me and my sibling) and running away. He always found us. After she put a restraining order on him, he gave up on chasing her. I guess he gave up on me too, and it's like pulling teeth to get him to understand I want him in my life now that I'm an adult. I don't hate him at all, and just wish we could go catch a movie or eat pizza or something.

All that said, I don't think he was a bad father. He was a bad husband, and maybe a bad person, but it wasn't like he ever hurt me outside of the indirectmy shitty things he did, and I never much liked when he'd push my mother around. I don't know. I think he wasn't cut out for having kids. Or a wife. Just a guy who should've fucked random women and been single for eternity, hopping from town to town and not caring about a single person.

>>26871
>it's like pulling teeth to get him to understand I want him in my life now that I'm an adult. I don't hate him at all, and just wish we could go catch a movie or eat pizza or something.
Tell him this outright. Do not hint at it or beat around the bush, if you struggle to do it face to face use a text or an email. You may wish to stress the fact you're coming at this from the angle of both of you as adults and not from his past experiences with your mother. If you're comfortable with it some form of environment or event where one or both of you are likely to get a little bit drunk will help but that'll depend on how your relationship is already.
>>26857
For what it's worth it's pretty clear he was coming at it from the perspective of someone from a background where you either did well in school or lived a life of shitty poverty.

>>27751
(Am 26857) Yeah I realize that now, I don't hold as much anger about it as I used to.

I've grown insensitive for toxicity online since most of it is just "edgy" (hate using that word) attempts at attention and supposed disguised banter but really a coping mechanism of sorts. So you can just be playing a mic video-game and some kid starts spamming "n%%@#-f%%@#" or says "spell dabbing backwards lol" and you just ignore or mute.

What really makes me angry though is when meme culture/discourse spreads outside towards websites where it has no business in; such as serious discussions and the like. Most commonly in youtube comments or subreddits completely unrelated to chan culture now starting to be spammed with memes with terrible histories behind them. I dont want to discuss say medieval history online and be bombarded with kids spamming "remove kebab lol". Twitch for instance is infamous for this but I guess it's due to the demographic age of it's audience and the historical demographics where it was targeted for.

>>17111
I'm not good with computers; but can those nicknames for here actually serve a purpose for redirecting people who have no business being here by making it harder to link threads here?

>>17112
from the words of someone here "CC is just one girl with 10 proxies talking to herself"

I started lurking LC early in 2018 in the depths of depression and school stress. I was suicidal and it was really bad at some points. It made me feel good to see other people get torn down and tbh get a few laughs. I still go look at 2-3 threads once and awhile for my fav cows, but I don't go as often anymore because it makes me sad. CC is less depressing and more comfy. I like it here.

I think that a majority of imageboard toxicity is just people with shitty lives and various mental disorders that have nothing better to do. They get attracted to anonymity and ability to say what they want with little consequence. Even if they don't get any response, It just feeds into their " le edgy sociopath ecks dee" complex.

There is something so addictive about them so I keep coming back, but it attracts the literal roaches of the internet.

Tell me more about your problems

tfw
Find a cosplay qt on that anime dating site idk.
I wanna couple cosplay Yamada and Kase-san. One day it'll come true.

Pick one, then you get your gf/bf.