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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019


friendless feels Anonymous 7474[Reply]

the title says it all.

i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):

can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
166 posts and 39 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21631

Lmao I think she's talking about being lonely.

Anonymous 21650

Update we are still friends and we might hang out together outside of school for the first time this weekend. Feels good man, I've never had a friend like this before.

Anonymous 21812


I wish I could find a group of friends with whom I could go stay in a cabin in the wilderness for a bit. One bedroom each and we lounge by the fire in the living room when it's too cold to go out and spending our days outside when it's warm enough. Personal devices (cameras, laptops, dumbphones) allowed, but no smartphones or internet connection. Explore nature and hold hands while hiking back home under the stars at night after a day at the lake. I'm no holistic hippie person but fuck, something about this internet-reliant isolation makes me so desperate to shake it all off and go into the forest or the mountains. I dream of living in a village where everyone has their own secluded space as in a little house and not shoebox apartments stacked on top of each other. Everyone has their private space but is close enough to reach by foot. At night, it's quiet, with only the occasional car driving past and the headlights moving across your bedroom wall. Maybe someone texts you after midnight asking if you're still up, and you walk over in your pajamas if it's summer, have a heartfelt talk that goes nowhere in particular, and fall asleep on the couch.

When did the internet replace all my human interactions to the point where even when I'm with someone, I'd rather be alone at home, online, dreaming of finding people I can connect with and have strong, real-life friendships with rather than ones based on geographical closeness and nothing else?

Anonymous 21834


I want this now. Especially the handholding part. I've never held hands with a friend that I can remember. It seems so pure and loving.

Anonymous 21836

It's the best. With a significant other it's sort of just expected and normal, but whenever I'd meet up with an internet friend or otherwise long-distance friend and we held hands walking around I felt so loved and warm, like "yess this person is really happy to see me". It's like a more practical version of an ongoing hug. But I haven't had it in a really long time.

Come with me anon


The ride never stops. On and on it’s beyond insane Anonymous 21766[Reply]

>be me
>need attention and validation from strangers to not cry in the middle of the day
>get attention from strangers and friends
>feel uncomfortable, spill spaghetti, etc.
>repeat as infinitum

What do miners? How do I upgrade social gains? What are you supposed to do when strangers smile and are nice to you? How are you supposed to respond when a guy likes you but you don’t like him? I just feel like I’m always doing it all wrong

Anyone else /feel/ like this?

Anonymous 21777

>nobody cares what you do
>please be yourself to death
Don't hold back what you want to do, or say.

Anonymous 21790

I don't have all the answers, but this is how I cope with my spaget
>strangers smile/are nice
smile and be nice back but carry a knife/mace
>guy likes you, but you don't like him
polite but firm decline that extinguishes all hope without making him look stupid in front of friends. I like the "emotionally unavailable" excuse. If all else fails , carry a knife/mace.

I'm still super autistic when it comes to any situation that can't be solved with being polite and carrying a knife/mace

Anonymous 21835

I should probably get some mace but anyways the real problem is that I have extremely fragile self esteem and no idea what to do about it. All day today I felt great but at my last class this guy who sat next to me treated me really rudely and I am STILL crying about it over an hour later. It wasn’t even super rude how he treated me but it just turned into this mental echo chamber about how nobody likes me and I’m such a burden to everyone and annoying and blah blah blah


Anyone here vocel? Anonymous 21784[Reply]

So many threads here seem to be about relationships or >tfw no bf so I thought I'd start a thread for sort of the opposite feel and see if it takes off.
Anyone else abstaining from relationships and/or sex? Talk about it here and your reasons for doing such.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21819

>Do normal people really mean actual vaginal degeneracy when they say they "hooked up" with a guy?
Yes, that's how I've always understood it at least.

I'm probably a volcel? I don't do casual sex (don't understand how other people can, to be honest) and am not actively looking for dates and relationships. I've also never been attractive enough to be approached out of the blue by anyone and the two boyfriends I've had developed naturally from friendships. I don't abstain because of certain reasons but I don't see the necessity of dating casually at my age for experience or whatever.

Anonymous 21823


Its hard for me to meet people spontaneously and I wanted to know peoples hobbies straight up so I went on a bunch of Tinder dates. I clearly stated I'm not interested in hooking up and only responded to guys who were interested in a potential relationship. Also I only met up with guys that were interested in the same things as me (generally led to shy sweet guys).

It honestly wasn't easy. It took me several months to find the one so you can't give up. I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of men that straight up only wanted relationships on Tinder though.

But you have to be very confident in saying NO if a guy ever tries to push you to so something you don't want to do. And also be able to reject people because I ended up telling a bunch of guys in person or over text I wasn't interested. I guess you can also ghost them if you're the kind of person. NEVER give them your address or go to their place on the first date.

I'm so happy i put in the effort. But Tinder really is a cluster fuck to sort through because men usually ignore your bio and swipe right on every girl.

I totally know what you mean about never clicking with a guy. I rarely ever have guy friends and I find it hard to talk to men sometimes unless we hit it off. You really gotta put yourself out there to find a relationship though. It's so much easier with the internet now a days thank god.

But now he wants me to meet his friends and I'm scared bc I have to make a good impression. I hate that this is a part of relationships too. I just got over the anxiety of meeting his parents.

Anonymous 21830

No offense but volcel is the only kind of cel women can be so this is kind of a pointless thread.

Anonymous 21832

I don't think it's pointless personally. A lot of threads here are
>there's a boy I like how do I get him to be my bf
>tfw no bf
>my bf did X
Even if you don't believe women can be incels, most women aren't vocels. This thread is for the women who are. For women who don't ever want a relationship, for women who are saving themselves, for women who are virgins but don't feel bad about it, etc.

Anonymous 21833

a lot of women here have several mental illnesses that prevent them from becoming intimate with men, I'd consider them incels since they're lonely and it's involuntary.

Other than that, I pretty much agree.


Becoming a Surrogate Mother Anonymous 21785[Reply]

I'm somewhat short on cash and have been thinking about this lately. To be a surrogate mom seems like an easy way to make a lot of extra money - just go about your normal life while you just happen to be pregnant and go to doctors appointments on occasion. It would be like going through bearing your own offspring (something I'll eventually have to do anyway) without the end result of having to raise the child.

Most agencies require you have had at least one successful pregnancy and are raising your own kid, but I've found a few that don't, you just have to get a doctor's approval that you are healthy and fertile while meeting the other requirements (which I'm almost positive I do).

I doubt any anons here have been surrogates themselves but I do know that a few of you are mothers. Can any parents here chip in and give a word or two of advice or possibly talk me out of it if this sounds like a stupid idea? I'm still very young and in college part-time so I know that my mom would flip her shit if I tried bringing it up with her like she does with anything. But I'm an adult so ultimately it's my decision, I just don't know who to go to for advice.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21811

I've considered this, but ultimately I would never want to do this because pregnancy fucks up your body, and that's a guarantee. I'd rather donate eggs since I can get like 10k for it and it's quite a bit less work, but I probably won't unless I'm desperate for cash because they do make you go through hormone injections. Also, like others have said, being a stripper will fuck you up less than this shit.

Anonymous 21815

40k-55k for only 9 months of dealing with sickly symptoms seems fine honestly. Especially considering working a standard entry job is like 20k a year if that.

Anonymous 21817

Why go that far? Just get your bum out on Twitch.

Anonymous 21822

It's not only sickly symptoms, pregnancies are complicated affairs.
Don't forget there's the giving birth or get a c-section part.

Anonymous 21828

Don't be a surrogate. Just sell your eggs. Its a lot less effort.


Limerence Anonymous 21754[Reply]


Are you experiencing or have you ever experienced limerence for somebody else? What is your story? How did you recover?

I've recently learned about this concept and understood what I thought was "love" is actually limerence for that person. It cleared up a lot of things for me and I hope I will now be able to take the right steps to get over it.

Anonymous 21771

Sounds like psychobabble pseudery to me.

Anonymous 21805

What I've gathered is it's basically:
>unreciprocated infatuation with a person that fetishizes the idea of obtaining them more than them as a person

In which case, I've felt this to some degree about all of the people I've wanted to date. I always get obsessed with them (follow them around, take photos, draw them, think of them all the time), and imagine a personality for them so I can have fantasies about our future together.
Part of it for me is also avoidance though, especially if they end up liking me. I feel a great drive to approach them, but if they do reciprocate I get frightened. For one, I got a date with him but wasn't nearly as excited as I should have been and just stopped filtering myself so that he wouldn't like me. Only after he rejected my personality did I become interested in him again, although not to the same degree since he knew of my existence (gross!). I only recently got over it.

I think a large part of it for me is the mystery and distance, so when forced to acknowledge them as human AND introduce myself I panic. I blame becoming too used to parasocial relationships. Probably some element of control I like as well.

What's your story, OP? And how are you planning to improve yourself? I hope to push myself out of my comfort zone/see others as individuals so that my mind grows used to normal socialization. That's a big mindset change though and I expect it to take some time.

Anonymous 21806

My high school crush.
Never spoke more than a sentence to him, and I was way too nervous to change that, but I would make it a point to learn everything I could about him and get closer to everyone in his life. Styled my hair and clothes based on the girls he talked to, would make a point to take the classes he signed up for, etc. Wasn't even necessary an aesthetic/sexual thing (there were way more objectively better looking guys at my high school), just was obsessed with the idea of him.
Looking back, I was really creepy given how much I ended up knowing about him, but I always made sure to never cross the line into illegal/stalker territory. I just wanted to learn as much as a could about my "prince"
yes I know how fucking cringy I was/still am

Anonymous 21810

That's so cute, anon. Keeping out of illegal territory is a great sign of restraint.


Do men even have feelings? Anonymous 15289[Reply]

I've never met a man that had a shred of empathy, even when they are "depressed" it's all about ohhhh no I will never have this 10/10 asian stacy suck my penis or waaaaaah women find men who are taller more attractive, do they care about love or friendship or anything deeper than sex and social status.

non-femcel anons please answer this question.
309 posts and 27 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21775

I don't even need to click or read the article to know what's going on in that fuckin mess of an article. We are so fucked as a society that people like this get a voice for people to read as if whatever said on that website is actually right about anything.

Anonymous 21779

Its similar to Drudge Report and that it offers an actual link to a """credible""" source but with the authors views and opinions on the matter.

Anonymous 21783

That's why I'm shitting on it anon. It's basically a blog website that calls itself "news" and take one situation and pretends this happens all the time and tries to give advice on something they don't know shit about. It's like reading a blog of an anti-vax mom. "I SEE THIS CHILD AGE 10 WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM AFTER HAVING A VAX 3 DAYS AGO AND HIS PARENTS SAID THE CHILD WAS NORMAL BEFORE 3 DAYS AGO. CLEARLY THE VAX DID THIS!!!" It's just filled with a bunch of hearsay to something they found on the internet that couldn't even be true. People lie on the internet and pretend every story is genuine and true.

Anonymous 21788

Is pic related a pasta?
If so, it's quite a delicious pasta

Anonymous 21792

I know it's bad miner etiquette to reply to a 3month old post but for my brother it was the opposite

When he was young he was so open and no filter, passionate, laughing, joyous. We had a lot of fun as kids, I remember all the days laughing in the yard, playing in our sandbox together and filming home movies on the deck.

When he got older he became really withdrawn… cooped up alone in his room for hours. He's very serious now, and married. But, that kind of 'adult' stoic where he won't goof around with me anymore, or, the most he'll do is some dry sarcasm.


How do I stop?? Anonymous 21501[Reply]

How do I stop doing this? This is just so terribly wrong of me and I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if I'm bpd or something.

When a boy/person I'm interested in makes me even slightly jealous, even the implication that they might have a 'side girl' or be flirting with others, I just have a meltdown and consider self harm/suicide (i dont threaten them with it, just keep it to myself. i am not trying to be manipulative with this, its out of my control) and instantly consider this person not an option any longer.

same with when they make me feel ignored/neglected/like they don't like me - this one boy I really like ignored me when I said hi to him and I just instantly felt this wave of horrible feelings consume me, I walked into class feeling like dying/etc.

I hate this part of me so much and this clearly prevents me from having any normal relationships. I've never had an irl boyfriend before. I hate this very much and don't know what this is.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21504

You go over there, claim to have bpd, then come here 10 minutes later saying you think you might have bpd. It's pretty clear that you've never been diagnosed, and besides that, it's a disorder characterized by unstable relationships, not complete avoidance of them. And girl, why are you begging for a "perfect incel bf" on r9k? They are human trash. It's not even worth it. If you can't get a good boyfriend, it is better to be alone. Those are the men who will abuse you, never show affection, never get a job, and never let you have friends because of their own insecurities. If you really want a boyfriend, what you should really be doing is improving yourself so you can get a decent man. Just take the pinkpill already.

Anonymous 21511

Alright. This post was made during a bit of a meltdown. I thought I finally found my first irl bf and he messaged me nonstop every day for a tiny bit and he told me he missed me when I didn't respond for a while, basically just ended up grasping my emotions really hard. Anyway we hadn't yet made the relationship official and i hadn't "done anything" with him, and one of his friends had a problem with that supposedly because he logged onto his snap and started hitting up some girl (Yes this wasn't just an excuse. He sent me a video of himself telling me what he was doing). Anyway that cause a meltdown but I managed to try to reassure myself it was just my jealousy and crazy issues because he wouldn't just abandon me for some girl that he had no connection to put was willing to "put out"..nope. He messaged me himself asking whether or not I was trying to get with him or if he could do things with that girl and this experience has just made me feel so worthless and replaceable and im not sure how to cope. Sorry about the unclear original post.

Anonymous 21512

>He messaged me himself asking whether or not I was trying to get with him or if he could do things with that girl and this experience has just made me feel so worthless and replaceable and im not sure how to cope.

just chill out OP. like you said, you guys aren't even "official" - so it's weird to be jealous/possessive about someone you aren't even official with. are you even sure that he considers you as a gf? are you guys exclusively or just casually dating? etc. you didn't give much context. clear up what your status is with him instead of being insecure in relationship limbo.


what's the big deal with being replaceable? there's 7 billion people on earth - of course you're replaceable. but so is he. it's worn advice but don't stress too much. there's plenty of fish in the sea.
>If you really want a boyfriend, what you should really be doing is improving yourself so you can get a decent man. Just take the pinkpill already.
agreeing with the poster here.
you can't force people to like you, op. if you keep acting jealous and clingy that'd push your (prospective) love interests away because i mean, most people wouldn't want to deal with a hot mess of a partner - you feel me? why would a decent person give themselves a headache dating a hot mess when they can just as easily date someone who -isn't- a hot mess. it's like picking between two brands. if the prices are similar, then of course the consumer picks the item that's the better quality. they're almost paying the same price after all.
>If you can't get a good boyfriend, it is better to be alone. Those are the men who will abuse you, never show affection, never get a job, and never let you have friends because of their own insecurities.
agreeing again. not trying to throw shade or anything, but you can't show yourself as too emotionally an mentally unstable because predators smell weakness like sharks smell blood in the water. not trying to scaremonger but there definitely are men/people in general that are willing to take advantage of your need to be loved and validated, and will use it to hurt and abuse you.
this is speaking from personaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 21760

What's wrong about being trans?

Anonymous 21770

Men aren’t allowed here


Why does everyone treat me like I'm a freak? Anonymous 21361[Reply]

I try very hard to look, act, and dress completely normal. I wear hoodies and jeans and bean boots in different colors pretty much every day, don't do crazy makeup, wear my hair in a bun, etc. and yet people stare at me like I'm a weird freak and laugh.

I've stopped going to most of the restaurants I like around my school because I tend to go there like every day and the people always laugh at me. The other day I walked out of the bibimbap place last week and one of the servers (she's Korean, I'm black) stared at me and then when I said hi to make it not so awkward she just stared and then started talking to her friend on the phone. Then when I ate there again today that lady started talking to her friend and laughing while she served me and gave me that weird look. I looked at how she served other people and she didn't do anything like that with them.

Today in class I asked a guy casually if the professor had taken attendance, he stared at me like I was speaking Chinese before just saying "uhhh no" and walking out quickly.

Am I so ugly that people literally feel the need to gawk and laugh and run away from me? What do you do about being a freak? Should I just retreat from society? I don't understand people. Can anyone relate?
18 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21608



Anonymous 21609

I'd smile at you, anon. You're cute.
From an anti-race-mixing point of view I can logically understand not wanting heteros to date interracially…but same sex too? That makes no sense.
t. Disgusting biracial though lel

Anonymous 21628

>From an anti-race-mixing point of view I can logically understand not wanting heteros to date interracially
Yeah. From a retarded perspective, that post is logical.

Anonymous 21750

you look nice anon. I always have people staring at me too and im not sure why, it makes me very uncomfortable because i feel like they're thinking about how much of a mess I am

Anonymous 21751

Sometimes people are weird around people who don't look like them. It's not necessarily an ugly/freak thing.
For example, I have really light blonde hair. I get a lot of looks from Asians/Brown people because they're not as used to seeing it, but hick whites like myself dgaf.


what if i just had given him a chance. Anonymous 21222[Reply]

i think i messed up my chance with a great guy,let me explain myself better.

Green Text.

>Being in college

>Chubby guy that looked like a mix with josh and jontron gets interested in me
>Chubby guy starts to try to get me to notice him
>i wasn't interested
>him nervously approached me in a college party
>i rejected him
>him faked a smile and said ok i understand well godbye
>him looked sad for a few days
>but he recovered
>i graduated college and don't see him in 3 years
>last week i saw him in the grocery store
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 21223

Assuming this isn’t a bait thread…

I think it’s okay to reject someone because you aren’t attracted to them. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship with someone you don’t find physically attractive. I don’t think you were an idiot anon.

Anonymous 21226

i've seen this story variant 50 trillion times on reddit and r9k, and being a idiot seems to be by definition "dumber than 50% of the population" and if I've seen this story being so common that means that OP can't be a idiot because it's so common.

Anonymous 21567

no you did good anon

fat people don't deserve to be loved. i dont accept a male's affection unless he meets all my criterias and apparently he did not previously. if he happens to ask you out again, this time you may accept. simple as that really.

Anonymous 21578

Fuck off, robots.

Anonymous 21741

state your criterias, I am curious


Any femcels here Anonymous 14730[Reply]

>Whats stopping you from not being a femcel

For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
52 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17853

>opposite problem. fending off advances because of asexuality
I don't hang around enough people for that to be the case. You must be a social butterfly or have a big group of acquaintances.

Anonymous 21687

Don't take this personally or like I'm saying that your asexuality isn't valid, but I've known 4 asexuals in my life, all of which grew out of it from their early 20's

Have you considered that you might be "asexual" because you have a debilitating fear of risk and not because you don't find people attractive or sexual interesting?

Again, I'm not saying asexuals don't exist, but I'm asking if you are possibly using it as a defense of your shortcomings?

Anonymous 21702

Once I lose 30 pounds, clean my room, stop biting my nails, get more confident in myself, get a male-approved modern fashion sense, move to an area with actual attractive men, work through the past trama that keeps me from pursuing romantic relationships, and find a job that will keep my lifestyle funded without tanking my free time, it's over for you bitches.

Anonymous 21704

Good luck anon.

Anonymous 21705

Turning /r9k/ pasta on its head is funny as fuck but I’m upset that I can relate to some of hear feelings to an extent.

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