>>26440>>I'm too insecure
I thought of it this way:
A person becomes insecure in a relationship because they're worried that they're going to lose their partner.
So in my case, my insecurity that he might come to like another woman is really a fear of losing him.
But if I thought he would leave me if his needs aren't being met, isn't that just as much reason to be insecure? And I feel like it's much more likely that a man would leave a relationship outright if his sexual needs aren't met, than that he would leave a relationship where he has everything except kink for a woman who provides nothing except kink.
Also, and this is not AT ALL how I think of him, but we have a baby together so I feel almost more comfortable now with the idea of him sleeping with other women because I have an unbreakable link to him. I think many men would cheat when they have a kid, but very few men would leave when they have a kid unless they were kicked out for the cheating.
And, all of this is beside the point; I don't see letting him sleep around as something I would do because I am afraid of the consequence of him not getting to be kinky. I see it as an opportunity to do something nice for him because he never took advantage of his good looks and charm because we met and committed to each other at a young age, frankly before he really understood how broad his options probably were. He's always been loyal to me, and frankly many men wouldn't in his situation, so I feel like I could give him something he missed out on but never had a chance to enjoy.
And it's all doubly beside the point because he said 'no' when I suggested it. Though, I have to say, opening up like this and sort of defending my offer, and thinking about this more deeply than I have before in a while, it almost makes me want to bring it up again and makes me excited that if he thought I really wanted him to do it, he would say yes and get to enjoy it.