/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>124953
straight facts

My whole life i’ve been percieved through the lense of my ‘intelligence’ (I wouldn’t consider myself intelligent, obsessive maybe.) or my personality in general rather than my appearance. ie growing up my mother would often remark on how my sister was the pretty one and i was the smart one, my best friend in middle school ranked every girls looks and put me second from the bottom, and the first time i was told i was pretty unprompted was when i was 16 by a desperate guy on the internet.

I understand that being percieved for your actual traits over your appearance is objectively a good thing but it fucking hurts knowing that every time someone thought to be kind to me they just couldnt see a single thing about my appearance that they liked. And you know they just couldnt find ANYTHING because that is ALWAYS the first thing people think of when complimenting. Especially because unfortunately as a woman your value is tied almost directly to your beauty, it feels like absolute shit because i know no matter how smart or kind or helpful i am i will never be treated with the same amount of grace as someone with a few more mm of bone.

Even now that things are honestly alot better for me i just cant shake my insecurities and past experiences and i feel like im becoming a worse person because of it. Ive become more quiet, cynical and anxious out of pain from the past and its sad because its taking away from me the ONE ‘good’ thing i had going.

about to shoot myself in my fucking palate lol xd apparently men can have high standards for women they don't even commit to. but women can't get basic decent men as life partners. every single man i talk to ghosts or blocks me the minute they either see me at a really shit angle or if i'm not 24/7 bubbly quirky but still WOMEN STANDARDS TOO HIGH NOOOO stfu

a few more mm of bone and i would have deserved to live instead of being a subhuman

>>125929
how long has he been with you? if you're past the 1 yr mark then you're probably not ugly, just mentalcel

>>125983
im devising 12 step machiavellian strategies just to ask a guy what music he likes listening to

>wtf is this complete inability to talk to people ive been around for a year and a half?
I don't know you nona but I've known people who are like this (including myself). Often it's trauma that's impacted one's development. You're saying you're a former drug addict? That's associated with unsafe environments, which again might not be true for you, but unsafe environments lead to trauma, trauma leads to having a hard time connecting to others who aren't traumatized. (broadly speaking) You being scared to talk about your rice cooker is indicative of it, too.
>should i just go to therapy?
maybe, idk, could be worth trying. You need a safe encouraging environment to overcome this and a therapist may provide that. They're not as good as having an actual free support network, but maybe they can provide some help.

>>125936
>Are you really "supposed" to
Well, yes, I guess women are expected to be heterosexual. I tried to force myself to be attracted to random boys at school just to fit in when I was asked about crushes, it was to the point that even I started to believe it. Until a boy asked me out and I had to face reality. I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way. It took me so long to figure out my actual preferences because I was preoccupied with what and how I'm "supposed" to be attracted to people.

>>125937
>I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way

Thats just means you are not ready for dating. I mean thats perfectly normal, not everybody needs to date and if you go out to date, either men or women, when all you want it seems to be to chill with your friends, you are actually forcing yourself to end up in uncomfortable situations.

>>125938
Yeah, I felt that way until I had an actual crush at 20.
Made me feel very out of place since all of my friends were dating or at the very least interested in it, like 10 years earlier than me. I'm almost 30 now and I noticed that I only really get crushes on people I've been friends with for like at least 3 years. More romantically than sexual though, so I'd say I'm demiromantic asexual since that's what that describes. I don't feel abnormal about it anymore, it's just how I am ig. I do wish I'd figured out that this kind of asexuality is normal earlier though, because I did force myself into some uncomfortable situations in my late teens… Especially after reading about how totally effective arranged marriages are, that feelings will just develop if you force yourself to be with someone of the opposite gender (because "men and women can't be friends, they'll date" or sth) or that women aren't truly interested in sex anyway but they have it because they care so much about their bfs and just trying out sex will make me like and crave it anyway and all that garbage. (One of my friends really did crave sex and I thought, "sex must be so good, I'll feel just like her after I do it, I just gotta bring myself to do it"). I'm glad I didn't take it too far in the end though, my partner never pressured me or anything although I did feel immense guilt when I didn't just fall in love and want sex after doing very uncomfortable kissing and stuff. (I even tried to work myself up to it by fantasising and thinking of him when masturbating, but it didn't really change anything). Wasn't great for either of us but I'm glad that it didn't go as far as it could've gone. I should've taken it easy back then and just focused on my friends instead of trying to force something I wasn't feeling, but whenever I told people I didn't have a crush nor type, they straight up didn't believe me and accused me of lying and stuff, kinda sucked…

>>125936
Thanks I'm just ranting really. I know I don't "have" to find men attractive I just want to shout into the void my irritation. I'm actually 4b. I'm not closed off to dating women I just don't want to hurt them. Did I mention I got out of all of my relationships? I genuinely start feeling claustrophobic in them. Up until now at least.

i can still feel attraction towards them though. So sometimes I genuinely wonder if someone wouldn't make me want to run for the hills… But I'm resigned to assume no, because it's happened so mNy times I just don't date.

But I refuse to experiment in ways that hurt lesbians just for my own gain no matter how cute I find them sometimes. I get claustrophobic but I don't rope people info it.

The thing with men though is complicated. I'm on the opposite side of the universe from men and what they want, there's too much to unpack.

>>125937
That was me too, ages ago. I thought I had to give it a shot and I broke them all off.

It's ur right to not like those parts (I don't know from experience what it's like in the dating scene when ur lesbian cause I'm bi) but I don't think it's trans women's fault you can't get laid

>>125976
I can get laid and have just fine, just first time back in the dating scene in some time and it is wildly bad that for every female on an app if they're not just a porn bot, there's like 5 more accounts that are just dude's
Always the quickest to like your profile and most active because they are desperate

Also had a friend recently who had a very bad falling out with her friend who is MtF trans, kept getting aggressively touchy and cuddly at the bar even though she was actively saying no, so they turn around and tried making out with her boyfriend as if that would somehow bypass the no
They have become absolutely predatory at this point and it's worth being upset over

>>125956
This is such a non issue lol. If being pretty is so tiresome go back to being a fat slob.

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125962
why do you keep double-posting nona?

>>125963
I don't know why it's happening, I think it's something with my computer

>>125187
The only person I interact with every day is my husband. So he comes up a lot the few times I have conversations with others. Maybe normies are the same.

>>125189
Yeah it makes sense, don't worry about it

The oppression olympics loops moids go through regarding anything they deem women as incapable of feeling or experiencing. They truly believe that women cannot truly struggle and if they did it's not as bad. They'll bring up suicide rates while simultaneously invalidating every woman out there, as if suicide rates for women were nonexistent. Time and time again I've observed this same pattern
Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance so I guess it all makes sense

>>124862
I also don't get how so many people marathon crime shows or put them on as background noise.

>>125949
moids are pretty good at reality denial in general

>Particularly in class rooms and in the professional setting, women are PERCEIVED to speak more than they actually do. If women speak more than 30% of the total conversation, it is PERCEIVED as monopolizing the conversation.

This image makes me so sad ik it's probably AI but it makes me so unreasonably sad

>>125947
why are you so angry
>>125948
he brought it upon himself sadly

>>105405
pros:
>smooth and deep voice
>tall, slender, great hair, very attractive
>incredibly sweet, says nice things about me and my friends
>has amazing taste, we recommend things to each other and its always golden
>likes to cook, does housework, has a steady job
>very creative, hobby artist with a western artstyle, draws and sculpts
>very funny, likes to dance and dress up
>even more leftist than I am, doesn't discriminate, cares about people
>avoids porn, drugs and piracy
>he likes my hair and fashion
>loves animals, keeps fish
>he has super cute vibes, he's so damn cute
>can be kind of girly but I see that as a pro
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pros
>handsome
>sweet
>overwatch pro
>funny
>loving
>hottest guy ive ever dated
cons
>listens to radiohead

>>125875
>could be closeted trans
if it makes you feel better that could immediately kill all the pros points

>>105407
Pro
>Tall
>Really tall
>His feet are really far from the top of his head
>He is most likely to be struck by lightning
>Attractive
>Cute
>Hot
>Like the hottest guy ever
>His face is extremely symmetric and with pleasing ratios

Cons
>Could be taller and hotter

Pros
>tall (180cm)
>deep voice
>handsome, boyish even in his late 20's
>green eyes
>takes good care of himself
>makes decent money
>doesn't have social media (other than youtube and pinterest)
>eats me out all the time (even when I'm on my period)
>raised by women
>proposed to me
>supports me on whatever I want to do
>great endurance on bed
>has a house
>thick cock
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>>125868
My parents 😭

>>125870
I'd say it's pretty normal to not want to get up in the morning if it means having to deal with some assholes who berate you all the time and don't even want to listen to you. Some people are just incapable of dealing with a human they have power over. And some of them are parents. Best of luck nona.

>>125860
I've been there. I promise, it can get better, even if it's a slow process…
But yeah, you're not "making excuses", you're struggling and those people could help you instead of pointlessly complaining about what you're actively suffering from.
But some people simply don't get it. It can be so frustrating, I've had breakdowns over this before with different people. It's a special kind of hell when people don't understand you and you try to express it in different ways and rather than just taking you by your word, they pretend like they can relate somehow and totally get it but by what they're saying, you can tell that they really don't…
I hope you have a therapist you can talk to at least… And that you're getting support, even from the people who don't fully understand. I'd hope they're trying to help at least, even if they're apparently quite bad at it.

>>125860
They don't understand because they never had something like that happen to them. Unfortunately depression is something very few people can actually understand or even sympathize with, people always think there are worse things in life etc etc Trying to explain to them is useless because they will always try to rationalize it when it's not something to rationalize.
Give yourself time, try read things online, self help and care can help a lot

Radahn, stop being a baby and brush your teeth, they smell like your sister´s rot