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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

old-priest-in-fron…

confessions thread 2 Anonymous 63992[Reply]

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes
446 posts and 57 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127307

>>127305
thanks for being understanding, nona <3

Anonymous 127308

>>127307
Of course; thank you for stepping up for that other noona!
People like you make this world a better place

Anonymous 127310

>>66543
Genius

Anonymous 127332

>>107365
>Squishes
>just a friend?
Yeah, just a term for when you really desire a close friendship with someone specific. Seems more practical and less chronically online than "blorbo" or "bias wrecker" to me, both terms I've heard more often than squish…
>Sensual Attraction
>sounds like a creep
Yeah, hugging a kitten or even your friends is really creepy, wanting to be physically close is so inhuman. /s
>Aesthetic Attraction
>why do they need a label or bullshit term for every single thing.
Because certain people act like absolute dumbasses when you're aroace and call someone "attractive" and wrongly assume that they understand the concept of appreciating beauty without physical desire.

Anonymous 127345

I often get so embarrassed about things I say while I'm saying them, even if it isn't anything bad and I'm anonymous. My face is ablaze. Just gotta push through.
It's odd that it's harder when I'm trying to say nice things. Why is it easier to be mean online? Why does being kind make me feel so vulnerable and self-conscious?


Screenshot_2025113…

I'm planning on blackmailing my ex Anonymous 127315[Reply]

I started dating my TA in university right after I got my mental health in line. However, the more he used me to translate his stupid papers into English, and the less attention he gave me, I spiraled more and more. We broke up after the rumors of us being together started spreading. I ended up homeless and failing a year because I couldn't handle the breakup. Moreover, I was pregnant with his child at one point as well. A couple of days ago, I took him for sushi (his demand) for my birthday and that douchebag started flirting with another girl right after we were done. I attempted to kill myself the same night and he did nothing to stop me from doing so. The thing is,I can't concentrate on my studies because I associate my field of study with him now, and I'm so codependent on him. So I plan on giving him an ultimatum-either we get back together or I will jump off the 5th floor of our university building after I type out a mail to all the journals he published the works I translated for him in exposing how I had been used and uncredited, as well as after I write a suicide note exposing our toxic relationship and power disbalance, playing a victim, making 100 copies and placing them all over the uni before I kill myself. Will the plan work? If it doesn't, will my suicide at least cause him to get kicked out of the uni and to lose all possible job opportunities?
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127329

>>127326
>threatening his further education/career by doing so
But what if it doesn't? I don't think your plan goes far enough, you need to actually testify against him.

Anonymous 127330

>>127315
Am I missing something or are you planning an overly complicated revenge plot to get back together with a guy who abandoned you after getting you knocked up and flirted with someone else in front of you? It'd probably be easier to find some other guy to date who won't do all this shit.

Anonymous 127334

Urami.jpeg

>>127315
I get that feeling of absolute hate.
I sometimes wish I had the skill and nerve to pull a Uramiya tier revenge scheme on someone, but the person I hate the most moved to who knows where before I found out what he did. He raped my best friend multiple times and I wish there was something I could do to ensure he won't do it to anyone else. My friend wants to leave it in the past but I'm still so mad on her behalf…
I'll respect her wishes but damn, this sucks.

Anonymous 127336

>>127320
If it won't work while you're alive, it'll work even less when you're dead.
Unless your plan involves framing him for murder, suicide just isn't a good way to get back at anyone. There are better ways to take revenge.
You want to get back at him, right? You despise that piece of shit? Then don't hurt yourself like that, live your best life and if you must, at least find a way to get back at him that elevates you above him. You can't do that if you're 6 feet under…
You deserve a good life without obsessing over some human waste of a moid and you can regain your pride without having to tear him down first.
But if you reaally want to tear him down (he 100% deserves it), don't do it in the heat of the moment and work out something that won't bite you in the ass later.
If you plan on exposing him, you could try to get some legal advice if you think it might help.
>>127316
Fpbp but yeah, it'll depend on the country.

Anonymous 127338

he is just going to say you took out the trash for him and they’ll look through your stuff and see you just wanted him back. you need to become more successful and then come back and cancel him for what he actually did to you. not lies.


1000_F_129677710_O…

Ugly Vent Thread Anonymous 124874[Reply]

A thread for women to vent and share their experiences with being ugly and how they cope in this look obsessed society.
82 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126630

>>126618
>>126618
hi, just know that the closer you are to your goal weight the better you'll look. youve made so much amazing progress already, and ive been in your place before. i also struggled to lose weight on my thighs but what helped the most is incline walking and power pilates. it doesn't matter how much you've used to weigh; what matters now is that you're changing and you're becoming healthier! keep going!

Anonymous 126658

>>126630
thank you for the advice and kind words i really appreciate it nona :)

Anonymous 126754

Even with makeup on I still feel like shit. Because yeah, I can put it on and be objectively prettier, but I just keep thinking about how the makeup industry targets women’s insecurities to get them to spend money and how I’ve fallen into that trap. I wish I could say I do my makeup for myself, as an artistic expression, but I 100% do it for others.

Anonymous 127297

I feel so ugly. My forehead is my biggest insecurity. I want to cut bangs, but i don't want people to know I'm actually insecure yk. And bangs don't even really fit with my current hair. When I see myself in pictures it actually makes me suicidal. It's always my forehead tbh. I'm too afraid to look at myself. I see people who are unattractive be so confident, post pictures, and I don't get how they do it. I don't mean to say they should feel insecure, I just don't know why I am cursed with feeling this way about myself. I wish I had that bliss of ignorance.

Ideally I want to cut my hair (bangs) and dye it (pink) but I'm afraid to do it in my current setting at school. I don't want to deal with judgements. I already feel subhuman at my school. I'm not alternative but I'm not as basic and conforming as the other girls. I feel ugly for not being conforming. And like a freak because I'm not as social. I never talk in class and I want to talk to my classmates but it usually doesn't go that well. I fear more judgement, if I cut my hair, even if it's how I truly want to be. I think as soon as I've made my final exam I'm going to do it. I think I'd feel better about myself.

And there's a guy that likes me from school but I feel so ashamed, like I've tricked him because I'm so ugly. I feel guilty because we built a connection online and now he's attached to me bc of that. We were both too shy to talk to each other irl. Despite having classes together. I don't want him to see me. I don't want anyone to see me.

As for my body… sigh. I have big boobs which should be nice. Except that they make me look so fucking fat. when I wear sweaters and stuff, it just looks horrible. i look so big. Because of the way the sweater falls, it looks like I have a giant stomach. I'm too insecure to wear tight fitted tops, maybe also because I don't want to attract that kind of attention from moids,, so idk what to wear. I'm seriously considering buying a binder to make my chest look more proportional when wearing sweaters. I just hate how it looks,. I avoid wearing color because you can see my boobs. So i just end up wearing navy and black, and look super depressing. I'm also always hunched over because it feels like they stick out so much. They just bring me down and I just look like a sad depressed wreck

Anonymous 127324

Yes, I've actually had suicidal and self-harming behaviors because of it. I was overweight my entire childhood (unlike my mother, who was anorexic and obsessed with appearance). I suffered a lot from her, and she forced me to go on extreme diets from the age of 13. At 16, I gained a lot of weight (when you have nice curves, it looks good, but I was very round, lol).

And I felt disgusting. Everyone at school was disgusted by me, and there was even a very pretty girl who made me feel terrible. Because of those experiences, I suffered from anorexia for two years, and as a result, I looked awful (yes, I'm unattractive at any weight). I still have dark circles under my eyes and a very thin face with a somewhat wide nose because of that illness.

Even my family (moids) have compared me to a super pretty, white cousin. I remember at a dinner they spit in my face telling me she was better, while my face looked like a monkey's. I cried. I locked myself in the bathroom and made cuts in my legs.
I still can't forget all that. How do they expect me to feel loved? How do they expect me to feel hopeful when they all saw something horrible in me, even though I always tried to be a good person?
it might sound weird but i feel jealous of slightly chubby girls,they look healthy and cute with curves while i look flat and my face is masculine because a lack of bucal fat but i cant gain weight no matter how hard i try. I want to kill myself because i cant never be pretty or look at photos of myself with happiness.


1571557796825.gif

Long Distance Relationships Anonymous 44204[Reply]

Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
424 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118920

>>118889
Right time right place. You also gotta do background checks and search for their discord handle in the archives before adding. If you see him posting in sexting threads and shit like that, don’t add him

Anonymous 119168

my gf and i have been long distance for a bit over 3 years now. im getting frustrated because every time i ask what our long term goals will be i get a vague non answer ("well when i graduate…" etc)

thankfully both of us have the income to afford multiple trips a year to see eachother but it's definitely affecting my life since i feel like all the time in between visits is just like… the void. like im standing around in an elevator waiting to get to the next floor. i almost feel like i'm wasting my life on this but that's hard to admit.

i want to make it work and i feel like we can but man this is so taxing. at least its gone better than my last LDR where the first time we met up she immediately dumped me and we had to spend the rest of the trip awkwardly being friends only lmao.

Anonymous 121925

I see my post about him from a long time ago was deleted. Much to think about.

Anonymous 127271

I know this thread is pretty dead but has anyone gone through the CR1 process without a lawyer? I'm worried my fiance is about to piss away thousands on something we can file for ourselves.

Anonymous 127299

>>127271
post on reddit maybe?


7c34d8acc308a64a2f…

Lesbians are the most oppressed, idc Anonymous 126590[Reply]

>Discord will ban you if you don't like trannies
>Reddit will ban you of you don't like trannies
>/r9k/ supports prison gay men and attention seeking fakeecel ethots but will shit on you and exclude you for being a lesbian
>/lgbt/ will shit on you for not being a Goldstar
>radfems will shit on you for not finding fat hairy ugly bitches attractive or for liking anything that isn't holding hands and kissing bc anything else is "male gaze-y"
>right wing twitter shits on you for being homosexual
>left wing twitter shits on you for being transphobic, aka for being an actual homosexual
>Bluesky…. Why are you on Bluesky?
>I don't know any secret tags on Tumblr for lesbians, but the fact if there were any it would be annoying to have to walk on eggshells else-wise the tag gets raided for not liking trannies
>third world countries… You don't even have any rights.
>Most of the western world will arrest you if you publicly say you don't like trannies
>Even in America, trannies are allowed in female only spaces even if its prison or a domestic abuse shelter
>Growing up having to learn in school that you were treated as inferior in every way all throughout history up until very recently

Not to mention having to deal with the rhetoric against lesbians being so mind-numbingly dumb and illogical.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126675

Tolerance to sexual deviancy has no place in a healthy society.

Anonymous 126681

>>126590
I used to get frozen pizza only on birthdays..

Anonymous 126682

>>126675
the way i started nodding before i realized what you weirdos were on about. how is a woman loving another woman DEVIANCY? go ask the men in your life hard questions and leave wlw alone? go bother a fucking coquette age player? literally there are entire reddit communities of pedos and people who molested children to harass. you could get this energy out any other way and instead you’re being homophobic because a girl will hold another girls hand. you sound crazy. literally there are men in your life who have harmed women and have crazy internet footprints. where is this energy for them?

Anonymous 126683

>>126681
i will make you a frozen pizza daily my princess. i would make you REAL pizza.

Anonymous 127295

>>126590
This is so chronically online. Half of the things you mentioned don't even exist in the real world. You are spending so much time and energy being negative,, no wonder women don't like you lol. And then you use this fictive rejection to blame and generalize other groups. No way you just made me defend moids among others…

The way you're expressing yourself sounds like someone who's hurting, but not someone who's beyond hope. I can recognize how badly you want a relationship, a connection with another woman. I struggle with the same thing, with not being able to find women who are into other women. Perhaps also because I am femme4femme. But I don't think it's as impossible as you make it out to be.. because if you don't even try to reach out to women then what do you expect?

I hope your concert goes well, but also don't lose hope if something doesn't work out. You deserve a good relationship and I wish you the best in pursuing one.


Screenshot 2024-11…

Just one more year. What should I do? Anonymous 126476[Reply]

I'm stuck in a weird position.
When I newly turned 17, I met with a 30 year old guy from 4chan because I was lonely and wanted a friend. We had some common interests in games. We hung out at the arcade and in the same year, I went to his house to play co-op. However, the friendship was short lived as he asked me to be his girlfriend right after. I was young and stupid, I saw no issue with him. He was unfit and never had a girlfriend before, I never had a boyfriend before. So I thought I should give him a chance.
It's been 1 and a 1/2 years now. Due to feeling unsafe at home, as soon as I turned 18, I moved out to this dude's house. He said he'd support me. So I moved and enrolled to a highschool near his house.
Over time, living with him, I began to pick up on things that do not sit right with me.
Firstly, he has figurines of some anime girls that troubled me from the very first time I came over, but I thought I should just overlook it. Figurines of miku, vtubers and Fate characters. He has plushes of vtubers, his profile picture is a vtuber. He admits that he likes vtubers but doesn't watch them anymore. Yet when I criticise them for milking money from men he opposed me.
Things that disgust me include him loving the anime 'yuru yuri' a show common among lolicons, loving the soundtrack of 'yuru yuri', he downloaded all of them and calling the government 'woke' because the age for marriage is 18. Other than this, I told him I do not use twitter, but everyday, I check what he has posted and who he recently follows. When I checked his following for the first time, I burst into tears. It was anime porn artist after anime porn artists. Most of his following was that. Yet checking his recently followed, he still actively interacts with these anime porn artists. When he shows me something on twitter, he's very wary and cautious of ever scrolling too much, and when he accidently does - it's all vtubers and ecchi drawings of anime girls. Last night, I checked his following again, and I cried again discovering he followed 20 more disgusting anime artists.
The worst thing is, these anime porn artists also draw porn of underage characters… in other words loli. It's a trend I've noticed across the artists he indulges in.
I feel so stupid, I was too young and dumb to notice this before I lived with him. And now I'm stuck with this borderline pedophile. I should've picked it up when I told him my real age and he said "15 is legal anPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
17 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126586

>>126560
>>126560
i was going to yell at you but i was too tired. i’m not her but thank you for apologizing to her.

Anonymous 126600

>>126586
Yeah, I tried to delete the post but I can't since 30 minutes have passed.
Thank you for being someone who yells at people when they say stupid things.
>>126476
Once again, I'm really sorry, don't even read that shitty post at >>126555
I get into a both-sides mentality too easily when abuse is usually from one aggressor to someone whose aggression is usually just self-defense.
You clearly have many reasons to defend yourself, especially after what you've experienced and the overall person that moid appears to be.

Anonymous 126603

>>126486
you have the same mentality of a moid. stop slutshaming depressed women.
>>126600
thanks for owning up to your mistake instead of just running away from responsibility like a lot of people do.
>>126525
im not qualified to give any advice, but i just wanted to say i hope things get better for you. i know how it feels, thinking that the only love you'll get is from the lowest of the low. that pedofag doesn't deserve you.

Anonymous 127294

>When I newly turned 17, I met with a 30 year old guy from 4chan
>stuck with this borderline pedophile

Nothing about him is "borderline". he IS a pedophile. I'm sorry to tell you this but you were groomed. and now you are doing charity work staying with this loser 4chan 250 pounds discord mod. wtf? what does this guy actually have to offer you? Reading your posts, you are obviously disgusted by him and can recognize that his behavior is a red flag.

nona you only think you love him because you don't know any better. As you said, this is your first boyfriend, and you were abused as a child. But this does not mean it always has to be like this. You can leave him, escape. please

>>126557
Is this a possibility? this situation is definitely not normal and you need to get out. I'm sure if you reached out to someone, they would try to help you.

Anonymous 127362

if you felt unsafe at home, you're definitely less safe where you are now. LEAVE. this will permanently fuck you up. Go home. Reconcile. Figure out a different plan.


QuillBot-generated…

Any sex repulsed blackpillers here? Anonymous 126937[Reply]

>be me
>be blackpilled cuz of female role in sex being blackpilling
>Try to meet more like-minded women
>Meet none
>Feel misunderstood and lonely

Anonymous 126939

>>126937
Yes but not as blackpilled/nihilistic as you probably
voluntarily abstinent/virgin and celibate never had a bf few can relate but it brings me mystical insight

Anonymous 127262

>>126937
wut is blackpill?

Anonymous 127264

i crave it but im volcel

Anonymous 127267

>>127262
A metaphorical term for demoralization.

Anonymous 127277

>>126937
I'm asexual and not interested in ever having sex. Not sure if that counts as volcel.
>be blackpilled cuz of female role in sex being blackpilling
What does this even mean?
Being forced into roles sucks but you don't need to let yourself get defined by them.
If you have sexual interest outside of what you think is considered the social norm for women, you can voice it and demand it in your relationships. It's just a matter of sexual compatibility, isn't it?


1752300454374376.j…

Sapphic girlies and lesbians Anonymous 125973[Reply]

It's hard out here for feminine woman who likes feminine women. Can I just be totally honest here though, despite the fact that I'm tolerant and have many trans friends, I gotta say I am genuinely starting to have trans fatigue. It's permeated into all walks of life to the point where we can't even have dating apps to ourselves.
It's enough that I have to sort through the usual Justin Beiber clones (as butch women are not my type), all the couples wanting to spring their boyfriend or husband onto you right out the gate, and now we gotta deal with the overwhelming amount of trans "lesbians" who most of which are still just clearly men, big ass men with stubble and balls and it's damn near impossible for lipstick lesbians to even get a fighting chance because these troops will fight tooth and nail to get into every single female only space they can. I'm not interested in dick, you can say it's fucked up that I'm concerned with what's in their pants, but that's a manipulative and almost predatory remark to make when they're fighting for their place to try and get into yours. It also makes it harder to find women when most of them are so far brainwashed you can't discuss this with them either, without them tweaking out and saying but trans women are women, like fuck off. They can exist but can they just accept being the 3d thing and leave women the fuck alone? I'm absolutely allowed care that they have a dick and not want them in my dating pool, they aren't lesbians.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126925

>sapphic
you fucking cocksucker

Anonymous 127263

>>125973
I have a huge preference for girls and am generally attracted to more feminine women. my issue is that i just don't know when a girl is gay too. I avoid looking at women in this way because i'd feel creepy if she turns out to be straight.
There's currently one girl I like at my work, I can assume that she's gay because she's kinda masculine (short hair, alternative), but she still acts feminine and she has soft features and she's just super cutee
Idk but my issue with girls is that I start liking them when I know I can (if theyre gay too) because it's just so difficult to find.

Anonymous 127268

>>127263
tranny

Anonymous 127270

>>127263
I wish I had this level of control over my feelings.
I ended up falling for one of my best friends and it's just hopeless. But I don't think it's creepy to fall for someone you know you won't have a chance with, you can't always control that. It only gets creepy if you act obsessed or make advances when you already know she won't be interested. It kinda sucks, but I'll just have to get over it, I'm responsible for my feelings after all.
I don't think you need to avoid looking at most women at all just because you think they might be straight though. How do you make friends if you're so distant with other women? It's not like you'll fall for every woman, right?
But yeah, you can't always tell if someone is lesbian or bi just by appearance…
Someone at my workplace invited me to a pride event and that's how I found out that she's lesbian, I wouldn't have noticed from her appearance at all.
I just try to get to know people at pride or at adjacent events and locations, like LGBTQ+ cafés, stores or conventions; much higher probability of meeting women I might have a chance with.
Anyway, good luck with your crush!
>>127268
Claiming that all butch women are secretly trans somehow is how certain misogynists wield anti-trans rhetoric to harm women. They don't care about women, they just care about the policing of anyone who's gender non-conforming, even if they're not trans at all. Don't fall for it.
I'm kinda butch, doesn't mean I'm a man trying to be a woman nor vice versa. So tired of this shit.

Anonymous 127272

>>127270
thank u for your advice and insight! I didn't mean I avoid women completely haha, I just avoid viewing/thinking about them romantically unless I'm certain that they're gay too (which i never know).


jjjj.PNG

I don't know how to approach my insecure boyfriend Anonymous 126912[Reply]

I'm 19f, with 24m boyfriend and I met him online, knew of him for months until we started talking. I don't know if I am making the smart move with being with him, he one day called me his girlfriend and "i love you" without even meeting me or even asking me to be his girlfriend and he's being too silly by saying he's going to marry me and mind you this is 2 weeks into "dating" unofficially.. I am meeting him for the first time on Sunday and I do not know what to do because part of me does like him and have an interest in him, but his insecurity, and ego gets in the way. He doesn't have a job and I feel like this isn't a good investment because in all honesty I think everything is a red flag but I can't do anything because he has given me so much money for things I feel so bad but he wants me to meet his family and in my head I'm like chill I havent even met you, why your family?! WHAT DO I DO PLEASE. I feel like I've gotten myself stuck in the middle of things. I just think he is seeking a relationship to marry, whereas I want to experiment and date for fun and not for longterm as I am literally 19 brah… pls help
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126915

>>126914
DO NOT MEET WITH HIM!!

Anonymous 126917

>>126912
a man in his mid twenties love bombing a teenager he met online and now using suicide baiting guilt tactics on you?

i don’t know how to say this lightly but nona. he’s going to force himself on you. whether it’s sexual or forcing a relationship.

this is a jobless adult man who is resorting to dating teenagers because other people his age have apartments and engagements and degrees and careers. he has to date your age because it’s less weird to you at your age for someone to not have these things. but he isn’t a teenager like you. he is stunted and probably dangerous.

if i were you i’d pull a:
“hee hee i don’t remember you asking to be my bf!!!”
“ohhh well it’s a bit fast and i want to be able to meet someone before i decide”
“ohh im not feeling well and since i won’t be able to get what i needed to done, i’m going to have to push when we meet back!”
and then talk about all of your responsibilities and working towards having a life of your own and see how he either thinks he is more important and be repulsed or he’ll have to back off. and then i would slowly stop responding or respond less and less. he will probably freak out at you a little. don’t reply right away then pretend you’re super sorry and worried reply for a bit then have “something come up and you’ll be right back” you have to back out of these things slowly and carefully. idk how obsessed he is or how much do your info he has. he’s already threatening suicide with you cooperating. he WILL threaten you or harm you at least emotionally if not worse in the future if you don’t comply. think about how weird he is being when you’re being agreeable. THIS is his honeymoon phase?

nona you better run or we will all be disappointed in you. you know deep down already this man is a creep. you’re just a baby still. don’t worry. rejecting this man will open doors for new men to come and you’ll have a higher sense of self worth each time you reject a man. the higher your standards are the better. rejecting men like this is how you build your standards. you’ve already taken the first step in identifying this is a certifiable freak. that’s major. you know what you need to do deep down.

Anonymous 127058

You are wasting both his and your time

Anonymous 127059

>>127058
will someone PLEASE think of the man grooming a teenager online.. puhleeeaassee guys we have to caaarrrreeee about men’s time and feelings… please he must be so lonely having his entire social life over discord plssss can anyone help HIM

Anonymous 127259

>>127059
HAHAHHA

>>126912
but yes nona pls get out asap while you still can. you are literally 19!!!! you deserve to meet and date people if you want that and have actual real connections. not get lovebombed by some guy 5 year older than you tf. And definitely don't feel guilty bc he spent time/money on youu, because be fr he's a grown man and those are his choices.

If you don't end it soon it'll just keep going and it'll be harder to get away from him. Think about your future. You do NOT want this man to be your husband !!!


animesher.com_haru…

pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
334 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127008

>>126987
are you a new schizo or one of the old ones

Anonymous 127009

>>127006
i feel gross for even thinking of it but it makes me so uncomfortable knowing what men do online and having to wonder about it. i never want to be in a relationship again with someone i know is like porn sick. the absolute stomach lurch from hearing men casually mention all the porn theyve watched. there’s just no way it doesn’t change the way they view women. and it makes me want to cry they want to do those things to me and see me like that rather than like a nice girl who loves their soul.

Anonymous 127225

>>127009
I struggle with this too. I know every man has looked at a woman in this degrading way. I feel like they are all just lustful and it makes me sick. It also has to do with normalization, and porn is a huge industry, but i hate it . I cannot trust them. Even without going on porn sites, scroll through a guys social media for you page and you see enough ,,,,

Anonymous 127230

>>127227
Wait, what? Your boyfriends ex is in SA support groups because of what HE did to her?? And he hides his conversations there..? Love I think you know the answer already. It's creepy for a man to be in SA groups (!plural?!?) while not having experienced SA himself (I assume). Why is he your fiancé??

As for checking his conversations, you could try going into his settings on his browser and checking the passwords. I think you need the phone password or email password for this. Then search for a reddit account. Or try to just access the reddit app yourself if he has it on his phone. I'm not sure if you are connected with his ex in any way, but ultimately you could also try to contact her (or have a friend do it).

Whatever you do I need you to be very careful. This situation already sounds like a red flag, and the last thing you want is for things to escalate and you getting in danger. Pls do not act "suspicious" (i.e. mentioning wanting to see his reddit/talking about his ex) while you try to gain access/information.

I also want you to know that you cannot safely stay with someone with a rape kink. This is very dangerous and no matter what he says, you could also become a victim.

So if you do happen to find out about something, negative, hide it while you plan your escape.

The situation does not look good for your boyfriend, it seems like you are in denial or holding onto any hope for it to all be some misunderstanding.. But unfortunately sometimes we pick the wrong people. It is important for you to act correctly and systematically now that you still can. If you manage to access his phone/laptop delete traces, but do document it using your own phone.

Good luck! Stay safe.

Anonymous 127231

>>127230
she claims she was saving herself for marriage and he raped her. he claims she lost her virginity to him consensually within their first week of dating. this was two years after hs for them so it was a long time ago but she has maintained her story since she came forward and still is angry. he goes on those subreddits to watch for her posts he claims. thank you for the password tip, i will access his PC and his passwords and see what he gets up to. i wish i knew how to unhide chats because i’m sure i’ll find some he sent to her and tried to hide.


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