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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 64969[Reply]

>be me, 25 y/o
>check mail one day
>get letter from guy i used to know back in high school
>address listed as a prison
>this guy was always a little awkward but nice, no way he could've done anything that bad
>open letter and read it
>he says he's been looking for me for 2 years, calls me his best friend and says to write back as soon as possible
>am now extremely suspicious and concerned since we were just friendly classmates
>do a bit of googling
>he's in prison for kidnapping and rape of a middle school girl

what the fuck do i do? we were only in the same friend group and never spoke again after graduation… i live in a different state now, how did he even find my address? do i write back and tell him to not contact me again, or just ignore this and try to forget it happened? i feel gross just being remotely associated with him.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64972

was mostly just worried i was being too paranoid, but i am nervous about what he might do when his sentence is up since he somehow got my address. think i'll either try to contact the prison warden or go to local police… thanks.

Anonymous 64973

Police and the warden, yes. Warden first perhaps, in case the cops tell you not to. Do this ASAP.

Anonymous 65006

You gotta know how he found your address. Listen to >>64971

Anonymous 65399

Really? I'd rate it a 6/10, because it was entertaining at first but she didn't really commit to the larp all the way.

Anonymous 65768

>You gotta know how he found your address.
you'd be surprised just what a quick google search can turn up on you.

wtf am i doing.jpe…

Anonymous 65015[Reply]

>invite some people to join a study group with me for a very difficult course
>they all enthusiastically agree and join a gc with me
>invite them to study at a well-known location at a clearly specified time days in advance because we had an exam coming up
>also post a reminder in our gc 30 minutes in advance
>studied at [earlier specified location] for 4 hours alone before going home
>they all ghosted me
>didn't even tell me they couldn't make it
>nobody even bothered lying to me to save face
Why is it so hard to make friends in current year +7? I don't think I acted autistically in this situation at all, and I'm always outgoing, friendly, dressed nicely, not fat or hideously ugly, etc, so what gives?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65017

Have you tried inviting them to drink copious amounts of alcohol instead?

Anonymous 65018

Have you tried inviting them to drink copious amounts of poison instead?

Anonymous 65030

No, I prefer to do that alone in my apartment.

Anonymous 65572

That sucks anon, but I don't think it's you. 4 years ago I kind of organised a spontaneous study group for a hard uni course on maths, and I ended up getting a good group of people, maybe 5 or so. There was even a friend of a friend whom I'd seen in lectures but never spoken to, and frankly although idk why he came I'm glad he did because he seemed to know the course material inside out and helped me pass.

I think people have just changed. I don't think there's as much respect for doing well academically, so people don't really study as much as they should (or they just wait til the day before). I also think the whole covid thing has affected everyone's psyche; even if they aren't in lockdown, there's a reluctance to going out that wasn't as widespread as it used to be.

I still think it's rude of them to not even say they couldn't make it, I would've thought people would have the decency to do at least that. Anyway, it's not you, anon. It's just /society/.

Anonymous 65767

wow, what an asshole.


Age Regression Anonymous 59619[Reply]

does anyone else non-sexually age regress?

i’ve always been considered somewhat “childish” and my mom makes fun of me for watching my little pony and still buying stuffed animals at my age but its honestly so comforting to me and is one of the few things that helps me relax. i have this constant nostalgia and longing to be a little kid again, and indulging in these things makes me happy. i think my mental illness does play a part of it too, especially given that i was sexually abused at a young age, but you can still age regress without trauma.

any other anons experience something similar?
43 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 61265


>I collect plush toys and sleep with them in my bed. It has never bothered past partners
>I'm in my early 20s
My knee-jerk reaction says the presumably male partners you've had might be into that, but I don't see any problem with you collecting and sleeping with plush toys.

Anonymous 65546

I'm childish but never considered it regression lmao. I'm just a womanchild.
Stuff like collecting dolls, cuddling my plushes, keeping up with seasonal cartoons and movies, wearing frilly shit, etc. I just say I'm immature/in a state of arrested development when it comes to interests, but is that actually regression? My personality otherwise isn't childish and hardly even feminine.

The excuse I always use is just being an ~artist~. One of my normie friends was shocked that I like playline dolls but found this to be a good explanation.

Anonymous 65562

I'm not sure if I have any childish hobbies or interests (sometimes I like watching cartoons, like children's cartoons like Loud House) but I still carry my baby blanket around the house, wrapped around my shoulders.

Anonymous 65564

This sounds a little too familiar. I did watch plenty of other shows and had plenty of other toys as a kid but I loved dogs and still do. There was a show I used to watch called "K9 to 5" on animal planet and I would actually cry if I missed it. There was also a movie called "Fluke" I was obsessed with about a guy who gets reincarnated as a dog after an accident and tries to find his family. I remember these were extremely hard times in my life and I stopped watching a lot of anime and stuff that I loved to watch dog shows and movies. I guess there is just something inherently comforting and protective about them.

Anonymous 65766

perfect quote for this thread:
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

― C.S. Lewis

tl;dr: don't be ashamed of liking what you like.


Qt Partner Thread Anonymous 37674[Reply]

Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
298 posts and 48 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65582

I’ve noticed it’s always the ones who you wouldn’t consider at first. It just takes time to know them.
That’s very wholesome anon

Anonymous 65591

So cute! I'm happy for you and proud of that paisa.

Anonymous 65604

based based based

Anonymous 65629

Sweetest thing I've read all day.

Anonymous 65755



confessions thread Anonymous 51270[Reply]

i tell my dentist that i floss regularly even though i dont
458 posts and 53 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65695


Kek. I fail to understand why a lesbian’s lack of lust for d*ck is a dealbreaker for you, but ok ! Cool story sis

Anonymous 65696


No need to lie or feel insecure about that ! It’s perfectly natural, especially for LGB ppl, to not have a lot of “experience” sexually, methinks. Our sexual / psychosexual development is just different from the hets’. Hopefully social science will look more into this phenomenon, identify patterns and strengthen our understanding of LGB psychosexual development.

Unironically, just bee yourself.

The only downside I can think of is most adult men will likely try to take advantage of you if you disclose to them that you lack sexual experiences with males.

Anonymous 65697

FYI it’s ok to love yourself

Anonymous 65702

i don't want to be with males though. i meant not bring it up to lesbian women.

Anonymous 65753

If the characters were around your age, that's not as weird as you think. I went through a similar hypersexual stage during puberty and drew and looked at a lot of porn of similarly-aged characters (sometimes younger). Thankfully the attraction is gone and now I'm mostly attracted to character of my current age (with the exception of older ones).


Anonymous 65732[Reply]

what's the cause of your anger?

Anonymous 65736

god they both sound like massive retards.

Anonymous 65752

I think the guy is trolling


Living with someone with a serious disorder or disability Anonymous 34633[Reply]

Part vent, part desperate plea for help…

My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)

I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.

I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.

And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.

Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?
96 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65655

>the germs are laughing at me and trying to kill me
but in all seriousness, best of luck op. others here have already given great advice, stop enabling him. maybe make some plans so that he doesnt spend that time cleaning.

Anonymous 65671

FOR A YEAR people told you here that you were an abused girl and that ou should dump him
you make me so mad, it's unreal, why can't you just dump him and take back your life???

Anonymous 65707

I don’t feel bad for OP anymore. She is choosing to stay in this situation.

Anonymous 65741

Rooting for you OP. Please keep updating.

Anonymous 65747

jesus fucking christ just leave?
youre acting like a textbook abuse victim, like the way you backpedal and keep making excuses for him "he grabbed my neck guys" "oh nvm he was just surprised hehe"
what the fuck, come on. hes a lost cause and you're wasting your life away.

my boyfriend is a …

What is the most fucked up thing your boyfriend ever wanted from you? Anonymous 65034[Reply]

My first boyfriend turned out to be a porn addict. He was also generally a loser. I wish I had the confidence I have now.

>has a foot-fetish and wanted footjobs

>wanted me to watch porn with him, which was one of the most mood-killing experiences I ever had

I broke up with him not soon after he asked me to try anal. I hate how that's a thing now. I hate how so many moids can't enjoy normal sex anymore and demand these weird things from you.
101 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65718

>Stories on 4chan get attention specifically because they aren't what every person experiences.
Anonymity brings out what people hide due to societal expectations. This place isn't free from it either, some of the stuff posted here is pretty heinous.

Anonymous 65726

Anon, just like people enjoy specific aspects of fetishes, it depends on how you actually use the porn and what excites you about it

I send my boyfriend lewd tumblr style gifs (real porn) and artistic looking hentai I find on pixiv.
If something like watching porn destroys your relationship or hurts your sex life maybe your bond is not that strong

>imagine watching your S.O. getting excited watching a stranger have sex

we try to fluster each other, like "see. this is you and me :)" or "see, this is what we'll do in a few :)" it's fun, you get to see stuff you haven't thought of doing before or get reminded like oh we haven't made love sitting like that in a long time.

it doesn't have to be you looking at porn like a third party or being attracted to the pornstar. you can just imagine doing that particular scenario with your partner. but also its not something that everyone would be into or get excited by

Anonymous 65740

>see. this is you and me :)" or "see, this is what we'll do in a few :)
God dirty talk is so fucking cringe to me. Good for you but man I absolutely hate it. Your post made me gag a bit.

Anonymous 65743

>I mean, thats what i hear both women and men saying, esp. with the common saying that 'boys will be boys' and 'men are horndogs'.
I think this is just an average person thing. When I worked, one girl would always talk to me about the guys leaving a store and would rave about how tall they were and how they could destroy her, and the other confessed about not being able to stop thinking about being knocked up when she saw a man interacting positively with babies. It's easy to see examples like this and attribute the vast difference from yourself to sex, and it's also easy to project your own impulses and motivations onto others. When I actually look to talk to men, I usually can find some that can genuinely interact and aren't overwhelmed by monkey brain, but in general if someone is pursuing you the odds that they have a genuine reason to based on personality and interests are slim, and that'll end up being what you're exposed to the most. People just need to stop making excuses for guys, they absolutely can and do do better.

Anonymous 65746

ngl, purefags have become pretty cringe


jealous over other girls Anonymous 63569[Reply]

how do i stop feeling jealous and insecure with the previous women my bf was with? i was a virgin before i met my boyfriend so i've shared all my firsts with him. first date, handholding, kiss, hug, sex etc. i have been thinking about my relationship with him and reflected on what i have always wanted, which is to share firsts with another human and explore intimacy. which has led me to the heartbreaking feeling that i am not his first. i love him deeply that it pains me to not have been there with him when he explored love and romance for the first time.
i feel like i missed out on all his first intimate moments with a girl, and that girl wasn't me but someone else. i never got to see his nervous demeanour on his first date. i never got to see his reaction when he first hugged a girl. held hands with a girl for the first time… first kissed a girl. touched intimate body parts of a girl, viewed a naked girl's body for the first time… i never got to experience all those 'firsts' with him and i feel so depressed over it.
i often find myself wondering who these girls were, and i fantasize about the moments he had with them. was it magical? what were they like? how did he interact with them? did he kiss them the way he kissed me? was he attracted to them physically? what did they talk about? what interests did they share? does he miss them when he's with me? does he regret not waiting to share all those moments with me? i want to ask him about his past, about these girls, to give me peace of mind. but i am nervous and scared. what if he liked some aspect of them more than he likes me? what if he misses one of them?
would really appreciate insight from anyone who also went through a similar thought process or fear and got over it. is it a good idea to ask him about his past, or to be blissfully ignorant?
45 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64704


This is very true. The porn more you consumer the more you get into hardcore porn.

Anonymous 65698

I am irredeemable I guess. I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I feel normal. Oh well

Anonymous 65701

which one is it

Anonymous 65731

i have ascended hee hee ha ha

Anonymous 65739

It is like five or six of them, kek. Just in hentai though if that makes it better.


Anonymous 65737[Reply]

Do you ever just over hear your parents/relatives talk about you and its like they don't even consider the possibility that you might be mentally ill or autistic and that's what's stopping you from having a functional/fulfilling life
They just think you're lazy and you have to get over it

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