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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

3E6F1411-3C6E-46DC…

Limerence Anonymous 85259[Reply]

Anyone else here struggle with being extremely limerant/obsessed with certain people? I’d like to hear your stories. Rather not tell mine though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
161 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 90274

>>90225
I appreciate your many insights and based taste in nerds.
It’s probably that he thinks I won’t fit him as a partner. I don’t think it’s my appearance because I look weirdly similar to his celebrity crush.

For a bit I thought he was only dating within his ethnic group/ religion like you since he’s Brahmin Indian and practicing Hindu- but apparently he like does not give a shit about any of it and is just vegetarian because he grew up doing it.

It’s probably relevant that he’s autistic so he might not be operating on standard moid rules.

Anonymous 91000

Anyone had any success forcing themselves to move on from an obsession?

nona-22 91107

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I have a story:

I think of the guy I met in 2020 March a lot. I now have a boyfriend and we're getting engaged soon, but every night I secretly listen to a playlist he sent to me years ago. I've never met this man let alone know what his real name is, I just know we shared a genuine bond over 3 months that year.

I was stuck in my room a lot, and used to text him all the time. Texts turned into calls, calls turned into feelings both ways. We had so much fun just talking and exploring, I can't really describe how it was back then. Something silly happened and we stopped talking then. I remember his laugh a lot, it always sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He spent some time in hospitals and I didn't really understand how I affected him. Things happened, we tried to reconnect this year earlier but didn't work out. I think I'll think of him forever secretly, but I would never approach him in real life. It was a special connection I shared only once with a stranger on the internet. I hope he's doing okay and I always think of the music I used to listen to, which caught my eye here as well - Yves Tumor has a track called Limerence that takes me back everytime I listen to it. I've destroyed myself over him and rebuilt it, and now my boyfriend and I are open about everything thanks to him. I learned to love people for who they were.

Anonymous 91887

>>91000
I have had countless of limerent episodes. The only thing that really helped was this self help book that focused on Limerence. Do check out Lucy Bain’s The Limerent Mind, and actually try out the exercises. Personally I found that the visualisation exercise sped up the recovery process for me. But besides that I also set clear boundaries with my LO (never hanging out alone together, keeping conversations to a minimum and non-intimate, etc) and focused on nurturing other existing relationships in my life as well (this helps a lot with feeding your needs). Being away from them physically really helped me heal too, out of sight out of mind sorta thing

Anonymous 91898

>>91000
Yes. I had a bit of an obsession with a coworker from a different department. Being away from and avoiding our common workplace helped me move on because that's the only place where I saw him at. After my company decided to relocate me to another building, I've been thinking of him less and less.



53011B60-181B-4727…

Anonymous 91743[Reply]

i feel like fucking my neighbors son for some reason he is brazilian and does a lot of labor so he is kind of strong he helped me move some furniture from ikea and made me wanna fuck him for some reason problem is that he is 19 while i am 26 should i go fot it

btw he is 6ft and 210 pounds

Anonymous 91744

>>91743
Nothing wrong with it imo especially since you're the woman. But you'd prolly have to see him a lot afterwards, right? Just don't do anything you'd regret nona.

Anonymous 91860

I support this fully. Give an update after you do it nona

Anonymous 91861

>>91860
not worth it honestly he fucked me for 40 seconds than proceeded to cook food

Anonymous 91893

>>91861
Did he cook you food?



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Limerence *first post trigger warning of self harm and ending life thoughts* Anonymous 91891[Reply]

Sorry if i didnt do this correctly. This is my first post here. I know someone has posted about it before but I feel some of the comments I've seen on the subject really blows over the fact that the obsession is against the limerants will. Limerence over my recent ex has ruined almost every aspect of my life. I try to control the obsessive thoughts and impulses but it's everyday all day. Writing in a journal doesn't help. Therapy doesn't really help. It's gotten to the point where it has gotten me very close to no longer being. I've resorted to hurting myself because I was that desperate for it to go away. I don't understand why I can't control my own thoughts.


E9FA8EE2-353D-400F…

Relationship General #2 Anonymous 84469[Reply]

Old thread reached bump limit: >>>/feels/68927
>advice
>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes
>venting
249 posts and 35 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 91236

>>91235
Been there </3

Anonymous 91237

>>91235
It's a game they play. I'd just ghost. Fucking hate men who think acting uninterested is attractive in any way. I wanna be chased and cherished!

Anonymous 91341

4ce8363b0f230e327b…

Our friendship ended months ago, but after seeing him I'm still left longing for what I wanted when we first met a few years back.

It's complex because I don't want to sleep with men, but in my ideal world we could just have kept going on as platonic/semi-romantic partners. I wanted us to be each other's only person; we'd support each other, we'd buy a house together, I'd paint him pictures and write him poetry, we'd hold each other when we were sad, and we'd die together. This is what I wanted so desperately but it was impossible. Even if he felt strongly about me, this deal wouldn't work for him and I know that.
But I miss him and I'll always love him to some degree. I hope he can find comfort, safety, and happiness. These emotions I'm feeling just prove why he can't be in my life, though. Not to mention the dishonesty between us, and how he'd also manage to make me feel awful. Ah.

In a way maybe I hope to never see him again if it will hurt this much each time. And I'm afraid to love someone again because of it ending like this. There is a woman I know who I can feel has the potential to summon such things within me, but who knows if that's a good or bad idea right now. At least I can offer a woman a normal relationship and not just super best friends.

Anonymous 91883

I don't feel like finding the LDR thread plus I'm late for work, but I wanted to have a quick vent.
I promised not to get into a LDR but I fell into the trap anyway because I can't find anyone IRl who would be attracted to me
It's liek torture. You crave to be touched and there's this person who is willing to, and tells you he loves you every day, but there's a million miles between you and him so you just have to pretend to hug and kiss him.
I know I'll meet him eventually, probably during the next year (that is if I'll even be able to fly to his country), he's even saving up money for my ticket. But I've never been on a flight so I feel like it'll be a huge pain in the ass to go through, but I can't stand being lonely anymore

Anonymous 91884

>>91883
I know this feel. Just got out of an LDR bc I couldn't take the distance. But weirdos on the internet are the only people I can connect with.



1.png

Anonymous 90899[Reply]

>end of 2022
>still no bf
Are you having that feel right now?
31 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 91427

>>91416
We were close friends for a few years, but we flirted and the trust between us was uncommon for a woman-man friendship. He thought things were leading to something more, which was the logical step for how things were going, but then I started to feel doubts because of my last relationship, since I got really hurt and I told to myself that I was never going to date another guy. Instead of explaining things I started to get distant and cold, I spent some time acting like that until I tried to explain, he understood me but at the same time told me that he's not sure about wanting something with me anymore.
Now we're trying to stay as friends but I don't think it's working out. We're so used to being close and cute to eachother but now it seems like he's avoiding that. I'm afraid it's just a matter of time until we stop talking

Maybe it was a good thing, since I managed to avoid dating another guy, but I miss feeling so great with him

Anonymous 91711

I don't care about getting a bf. I just want to have friends. Every year my only resolution is to have at least one friend by the end of December, and every year I fail.
I'm mentally ill and too socially retarded to talk to people, even on the Internet. It's hopeless and I hate myself.

Anonymous 91721

Fuck bf, I wish I could find a decent job

Anonymous 91754

i got dumped a few months back. No, thats life, simple as

Anonymous 91855

>>90899
>>90904

Typically, companies freeze the hiring process until January so, things should pick up by January with regards to open positions etc. Do not give up on yourself. You will be employed soon.



1666160298412231.p…

Where to find acceptable men? Anonymous 91373[Reply]

where do the best moids hang out?

>bars are full of toxic assholes


>people at fairs and big social events are unbearable normies / the crowds make it hard to talk to people


>a lot of hobbies and places are just full of old guys


>coffee shops seem pretty alright, same with book stores i guess


t. 22 y/o no bf khv slowly going insane from loneliness
14 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 91715

s do not listen to people who never got hugged as a child and other types of desperate virgolinos (>>91681, >>91691, >>91396)

Your soulmate is NOT on 4chan

Anonymous 91724

>>91715
Where is she then nona? Where is my based gold star lesbian neet radfem soulmate gf?

Anonymous 91725

>>91724
lolcow

Anonymous 91750

>>91749
>galaxy-brained moid will take ballet classes
You mistyped gay.

Anonymous 91765

>>91426
I'm sorry if you really are a nona who found 4chan's one true moralfag but we know there are moids lurking here, we know they're from 4chan, why the fuck would we trust any post telling us to find partners there. As >>91440 put it, we've been on 4chan, we know what it's like.
Op if you're really desperate there's always tinder, I guess. It's not great, but you can talk with them and stalk their social media at least.



hoodie.png

No to children? Anonymous 90636[Reply]

Aside from lack of partner/biological roadblocks, what are your reasons against having children?

I'll go first:
- The world is becoming progressively crueler
- Econonomics becoming harsher
- More and more people becoming depressed
- Constant fear of not being able to provide a child enough love/support
- Too much responsibility
- Too self-interested with passions/hobbies
22 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 91718

x.jpg

>have baby
>baby is girl
>be bound to a moid who is probably going to end up neglecting you forever
>forever
>moid who barely views women as equivocal to him in terms of humanity now has to foster the life of one
>ohno.jpg
>moid who has had a warped perception of women his entire life ends up essentially madonna-whore complexing his own daughter
>man struggles to empathize w bb
>man feels detached & frustrated
>man leaves you for a newer female model who isnt harnessing a lump of whining flesh, or alternatively makes you and bb subservient to him for the rest of your lives
>have baby pt.2
>baby is boy
>man feels like a king who just bestowed his offspring on god's green earth
>like most men are, your bb boy will be psychologically hammered into a clone of his father
>tits and vag so you're not a reasonable role-model
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 91720

>Live in a morally and economically broken shithole

>Moids here are childish, irresponsible, violent, misogynistic, dumb, ugly and drunk, impossible to entrust paternity to any of them


>The trashy and misogynistic culture causes mothers to be constantly disrespected and persecuted


>I worry about how a possible child might find work in the future


>Mental, physical and emotional problems

Anonymous 91736

1661119972392.jpg

I've seen what it takes in being an amazing mother like my mom is, and I feel like I just don't have what it takes. I love my mom, she is my best friend, but she has so much willpower, strength, energy and unlimited patience that I lack. She gets up at 5 am, gets home at 7pm because she visits her parents every day, she makes lunch the night before or in the mornings, she does hard work in my grandparents garden, she's extremely capable. On top of that she reads books, has a social life, stays healthy by exercising and she still had time to talk with me and my sister growing up, and to raise us well.

I'm still on a maybe if I want to have kids or not, and I'd rather adopt if I ever were to have them. But first I'd make sure I'm financially really secure with enough free time to raise a child properly. On top of that, while my husband would make a great father, he loves his job a lot and while he can afford to work a lot and still have time for me specifically, if we had a child he would have to work less.

Anonymous 91737

"I hate children" is a covert way to say "I hate myself"

Anonymous 91745

>>91737
Did you even read through the posts?



8A965C57-2F54-4B21…

are gymbros worth it? Anonymous 91738[Reply]

I went on to a fitness forum a while ago and realized most of them are lonely have low standards they fuck anyone who is chubby or skinny

is it worth a try i been lonely for a while and could use someone to cuddle with

Anonymous 91741

>>91738
Gymbros have terrible personalities

Anonymous 91742

No.
Go to the gym, do your workout and go.



FFB82E14-C402-469C…

Fucking stupid ass brother Anonymous 91726[Reply]

My brother is really into fitness and is fit so i asked him for advice on fitness and he told me it was pointless because i will always be fat i feel like killing him

Anonymous 91740

1664045964577223.j…

fuck him lol but if u still want advice do "squat jumps", cardio is really good, running and swimming are ur easiest options



4879D69E-D403-40C6…

I feel fat and stupid Anonymous 91673[Reply]

I recently started working out and i still feel fat went from 160 pounds 5ft5 to 140 i still feel fat is this fucking normal

Anonymous 91732

>>91673
some people gain more body dysmorphia the more weight they lose, it doesn't make you stupid and you're not fat. it probably has to do with negative self perception which is something in your head not with the way you look. hope you'll be ok

Anonymous 91739

1543389801241.png

U are making awesome progress and dont develop an eating disorder just find recipes with yummy food that r somewhat healthy



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