/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>129761
i don't know what work you've done to understand how being groomed changed your feelings about the world and your own safety: but remember that it's naturally impacted your beliefs about vulnerable relationships. it's a- if you go through life thinking everything needs to be hammered, you'll only see nails -type of thing. and by that i mean, if you're nervous even subconsciously about being groomed or tricked again, you're putting too much burden on yourself to hyper-worry about it, which only does yourself a disservice (although it's normal to think about.) caution is warranted, just not to the degree that it sabotages your own plans and desires.
be nice to yourself and those thoughts. you can sit with the worry of the "grooming happening again", and eventually they'll start looking just like thoughts. and only thoughts. they don't represent an actual manifested reality; they're fleeting residue from previous trauma, they can't control your real world. you probably know all of this, so i'm not trying to baby you, but a reminder can't hurt.

hopefully that younger guy will be nice! it's a great idea considering recent data, so good luck
>"Research indicates that older women dating younger men often report higher sexual satisfaction and relationship well-being compared to younger women dating older men. A 2025 study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that women in these reverse age-gap relationships experienced better sexual arousal, lubrication, and orgasm, while men in these pairings reported high relationship satisfaction that strongly predicted their sexual functioning."

>>129737
>they find women in their early 20s (18-25) to be the most physically attractive. desirability peaks at age 21
This is what they're allowed to say.

girl i'm 25 and i'm going to be honest with you i think coming to this website to vent about this is going to make you feel a lot worse about the whole thing than it is in reality. This is a doomer femcel site. Like >>129737 I'm sorry posting the top google ai slop search like actual research was done here is just really fucking embarressing.


I'm 4'10 and look like a little girl, thats just what I look like. Recently I've been dating people with kids and they're really honest about being disintrested in infantalization or ddlg or any of that shit because it reminds them of their children. Men suck but they're not all pedo brained freaks. Most people do actually wind up married. If it is something you want to persue you'll probably be able to do it just fine. Kids are something you don't even need a man for if you have the finances to persue them.

Do you have an older female figure you can talk to in our real life? You will get better answers than the jaded morons on here and I'm saying that as a frequent poster.

>>129780
alot of them are attracted to sexually developed children, teenagers. we know this. but as to whether or not they put these minors in the "have sex with" or "no, that's a child that needs care" box depends on whether they see the subject as a person. issue is, personhood is increasingly being stripped away by the internet, particularly in porn being most boys' first exposure to the female form. and it's always happened in order to drive men's sexual selection and access to their desires depending on when they get the resources to manipulate things the way they want (grown adults.) they know they're not "allowed" to say that they have a physical response or are visually stimulated by teenage girls/boys (post-puberty), because it'd brand them as exclusively attracted to that when they're not. it's a disgusting and grim reality, yes. but a level of attraction doesn't make them all want to fuck kids- and for most that will try, not even exclusively (which would be needed to qualify them as hebephiles, the actual predators rather than "i find that attractive in my head" types.) many are opportunists that lack reasons to care about women and girls as people, so they'd go lower than what they say. but men in general are not looking for children as partners - the quote about desirability seems to be from dating app data, which shows that what they're actually selecting for is grown women. we can come up with assumptions about what they WANT to date/sleep with, but it's better to deal in reality and assume the best rather than the worst (unless we want to encourage op to just give up.)
op was thinking about whether men would want to date her or not. from what we see, their attraction isn't solely locked onto minors. that's what my point was meant to be. if you want, you can assume they're all evil, lying, near-child-rapist scum - i'm personally doing the same. but it's better to give her a realistic view of dating trends imo
>For men aged 25, the preferred partner is 3 years younger (age 22) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202501/age-gaps-in-relationships-what-do-men-and-women-prefer

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>>129789
That's what they settle for because they can't get what they really want.

>>129715
In that case, I can be an activist for any cause and says that it's feminism. A movement need a general direction.

>>129727
>I can be an activist for any cause and says that it's feminism
That's pretty much what happens

>>129700
Men need to have their sexuality controlled, women don't. Men should not have easy access to women's bodies through porn, prostitutes, social norms, etc. etc. but it's fine if people have easy access to men's body. These things need to be regulated for men, not women. The ONLY time a man should see a woman naked is if she decided to let him.

The amount of fandom spaces I've been in that got infested with child groomers and other sexpests is insane so I feel your pain nona. Seems like almost every online group is full of these types of insane people

>>129736
The crazy thing too is that this has always been the case, it's just got exponentially worse since I was a kid. Like I was super groomed online as a kid, surrounded by pedo lolicons, and I still managed to find fandom spaces that didn't have porn obsessed weirdos despite this. The Vocaloid fandom in particular was pretty chill when I was younger, because most people in it were kids, and kids at that time weren't as porn-obsessed (unless you were like me and groomed like crazy). Nowadays, almost any time I try to find a Vocaloid spot, it's just chock full of porn or fetish references. I've seen more weird fetish content of Miku and Teto than I have new songs in the last year.

>>129376
It depends who the man is and who the woman is but if a woman is unhappy with me I do sometimes take it personally

>>129376
Yeah, same for me. When men insult me I dont really care as much unless it's something extremely important to me. But with women are mean it makes me so sensitive for some reason. I'm not sure why this is tho. Maybe I'm just used to men being rude and bitchy but when women are rude to me I do take it more seriously and introspect more when it happens

>>129376
Same for anyone who owns a brain. Women are honest, more emotionally mature, smarter and not brain rotted from porn and red pill.
And most importantly, women are humans, males are subhumans.
Opinion of subhumans doesn't matter to humans.

When i started dating a guy, my bestie called me a "traitor straightie" and it made me cry

So, it's Halloween
And you feel like dancin'
And you feel like shinin'
And you feel like letting loose
But what ya gonna be?
Babe, you better know
And you better plan
Better plan all day

Better plan all week
Better plan all month
Better plan all year

You're dressed up like a clown
Putting on your act
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I ain't got no panties on
Ain't got no panties on
I ain't got no panties on
On the dancefloor

It took so long to remember just what happened
I was so young and vestal then
You know it hurt me
But I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise
Got my hands bound
And my head down and my eyes closed
My throat's wide open

Do unto you now what has been done to me
Do unto you now what has been done

Tool- Prison sex. The latter half of the songs explains how abuse comes full circle, the abused become the abuser. Abuse like this leaves a hole in you that only seems to be filled when you hurt others. But you never truly get your power back.

Yo, listen up, here's a story
About a little guy that lives in a reddit world
And all day and all night
And everything he sees is just reddit
Like him inside and outside
Reddit his house
With a reddit little window
And a reddit Corvette
And everything is reddit for him
And himself and everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen (to listen)

Rubbbin on her back as I suck on her NIPPLE!
Mane dis gal stacked butt cheeks like a HIPPO!
Jimmy crack corn Im gon bust on her LIPPO!
Jimmy in my cup my nig take a SIPPO!
Down by da benz so her cheese gonna FLIPPO!
Left the hotel with a limp like a CRIPPLE!
Pretty like highs and her smile had a DIMPLE!
Make her twat hot like a bust on a PIMPLE!

If you thinking I'm straight then you better think twice
Say you ain't got no cheese then I'm Jekyll and Hyde
'Bout to click on this bitch 'cause she need to learn me
Beat her with my pistol when I thought she burned me
It's the first of the month, you can call me Sambo
I'ma dick this ho down 'cause I like to gamble
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>>129315
I'm not mad because I'm not bitter.

>>129655
>rip her dms
yeah her dms would be full of ugly faggots with horrible personalities with zero redeeming qualities. she would not magically score a cutie like this guy did.

You're not alone. Ugly man psyop is fucking real. Men love seeing women suffer.

>>129745
If you have an ugly man all the others wil look at you and you get all the attention and you are the more attractive of the two in the couple

>>129753
dating someone as a comparison tool is foul

So sorry, anon.
Yes, I lost my childhood cat (and best friend) when he was 15 a few years ago. It was awful, I broke down sobbing at work and felt the deep emptiness of his missing presence to my core. I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
My mother encouraged us to get a new kitten a month and a half later, and even if it felt like betrayal of him I'm so happy to have her! Like other anon said, she's so different in her personality that it doesn't feel like a "replacement" as I feared. I could never replace him after all, it was just meeting a new friend to help the healing process.
The period with no cat felt 6x longer than it actually was though, fuck.

All this to say, don't feel guilt about making a new friend but also only do so when you feel ready. And take as long as you need to mourn both he and your life alongside him. 14 years is a long time filled with what I assume to be some of your early memories if he was your first cat (even if you got your first cat at 20, that's young in a different way). Take time to appreciate his companionship during your ups and downs and growth. Also don't let anyone make you feel silly for mourning a pet.

I lived in a big house in the rural area of a city for most of my life, so I've had more pets than the average person. Still, I always grief for months when my pets die.
Like >>107168 said, adopt another pet when you feel ready. Helping an animal in need is the best way to honor the memory of your pet. You're not replacing them in any way, I have so many good memories of all the pets I had. I'll die one day too, but until then I'll love and care for as many animals as I can.

>>107168
>I'd always be expecting him to come around the corner or slip into my room and onto my bed like usual.
I'm so sorry nona, this is exactly what I'm going through with my cat. He'd always jump onto the bed with me at night time and be purring away until he fell asleep. I miss him so much.
>>107169
I do actually have two other cats that I got last year. I just don't have as strong a connection with these two.
Originally I had two cats, the one who just died plus another who died at the start of 2022 (kidney disease). My senior cat went into a bad depression and stopped eating after she died, which is why I got the other two cats. So you could say they were his cats, and he became his happy self again once they settled in. Thankfully they seem to be doing okay without him, I suppose because they have each other. It's just so strangely quiet without him because he was super talkative, and they don't meow at all. I hope I can grow closer to them with time.

One of my cats died recently in about October or November. We're not sure how, he was found dead under my sister's bed. No blood or throw up or anything. I miss him badly, my remaining cat seems so lonely and confused without him. I hope there's an afterlife for pets and that we can be with them again one day, I miss him badly. My aunt's dog died over the summer too and my childhood dogs have been gone for a while

Its going to be 4 years since i lost 2 of my childhood cats. There are times where i feel pangs of sadness but i need to lock in for my other cat. Shes 10 years old and i just want to appreciate whatever time i have left with her. It sucks cause i gotta work a full time job now but i reframe it as making sure she has a confortable life. But after her im not having another pet until i get 6 figs annually. Being poor and having a pet fucking sucks. Sorry for going on a tangent.

To answer your question…. Let yourself feel the grief. Repression doesn't do anyone any good. Find people who you can talk about your passed on pets to, or write about them. Whatever you do, keep their memorie alive because they're only in your life for a short while, but you're their whole world for their lifetime.

>>129537
If you like sex, casual sex isnt for you. You need to get to know each others bodies first, likes and dislikes etc.

I have personal circumstances that prevent me from being able to have a long term relationship but I still want affection. Its not the healthiest but I can squash my feelings easily because I remind myself of the circumstances I’m in and other things that make me unworthy of a relationship. I also don’t have friends and only really interact with people for sex yet I’ve met interesting people this way.

>>128629
I've genuinely never met anyone who enjoys casual sex other than straight men, gay men and some butches who just covet masculinity to hide their own pain. This whole thing that everyone loves casual sex is a LARP.

>>128629
You think I'd be interested in casual sex because I'm a bippie but I've been assaulted, stalked and borderline raped that almost nothing excites me about men anymore and I haven't tried casual sex with women either so… it's not worth it. I have a surprisingly low sex drive I just blame my trauma for it

I'm a 99% straight woman. I sleep peacefully knowing I will never have ONS with moids. Its one of the most demonic shit sold to women.
But I want to try it with a woman so bad.. Just like how it should be anyways.

>>129722
Me too, I've only been with a woman once online and I'm terrified of men at this point. I find it hard to click which women are bi / gay that I'm embarrassed to ask and pursue irl. If anyone who's dated girls has tips please send them

you're not

There’s nothing wrong about your decision and embracing the single life.

You're not being too stubborn at all, I think you are noble, and I'm sorry about your miscarriage nona

>My ex says I'll grow out of it but,

Babe, that's not true. He either has no empathy or doesn't understand. You don't just grow out of something like that. It's your child. Even if it was a miscarriage, it is still your child.

It's always okay to feel how you feel, and your feelings don't suddenly go away or change, it's still you despite everything. You don't magically grow out of yourself.

If you've already broken up once, then he's an ex, and exes are exes for a reason. Clearly not compatible and not on the same wave length. It has nothing to do with age either. The cycle of breaking up and getting back together happens with teenagers, those in their 20s, those in their 30s, those in their 40s, etc. It's just a clear sign that they aren't the right person for you.

Sex isn't love either. Love is genuinely caring, being compassionate, having empathy, supporting, and being able to relate to how you feel without dismissing it as "Bro just grow out of it"

>sex genuinely hasn't brought me much good in my life

Sex isn't for everyone. For many people (both men and women) it's just entertainment. Men use women to entertain themselves. Women use men to entertain themselves.

Some women like to cater to those men and talk dirty ("my pussy is sooooo wet", "And I would really look forward to you fucking my boobs fast and hard with your dick until you explode all over them", "Which position do you want to try anal in first?" or "I’d also really enjoy if you lick both of my holes from behind while I’m on all fours mmm" etc), talk about various sex acts such as blowjobs, different positions, anal sex. It's all about catering to him and validation or they want to feel 'desired' and 'wanted' as if they are only useful for entertaining him sexually. The "PICK ME" women. The women who feel like they're not attractive enough so they have to go far and harder to appeal to men sexually.
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