/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 18014[Reply]

How do you get past emotional trauma /feels/? Ive been dealing with it for almost a year now. Its ruined all my friendships for me and I fall asleep crying everyday. I just wish I had a friend

Anonymous 18016

What is the emotional trauma?

Anonymous 18018


>in bed
>decide to distract myself with recreational cc
>see this thread
I'm pretty sure I ruined a friendship just a few days ago by opening up too much. Fuck.

Anonymous 18022

What have you tried already? Talk therapy? Group therapy? Journaling? EMDR? CBT? Exercise? Yoga? Books? Medication?

I don't think that any of those are silver bullets to fixing emotional trauma, but I do think that each case is different enough that it's impossible to give a solid answer, all you can really do is try the main strategies, reflect on what parts did or didn't work for you, then pick a new method (in place of or in addition to what you're already doing) and repeat that process until you look back and realize you're coping better than you were before. If you have pretty deeply embedded, long running trauma it's not a pleasant process, but neither is just living in pain.

That being said I'm so fucking lonely and this shit sucks. I hope things work out in the long run for you OP.


Bipolar & Schizophrenic Feels Anonymous 6125[Reply]

Can we have a thread for people who suffer from either of these illnesses? I made a thread including both since the symptoms often overlap.

What meds are you on? Are you stable or still struggling? How do your family/partner/friends react to your symptoms? What advice do you have to give to newly diagnosed or struggling patients?

Also general vents and greentexts are appreciated. It’s easy to feel alone when struggling with a severe mental illness so it’s nice to hear stories you can relate to.

*And please don’t turn this into a thread complaining about your mom, ex-partner, or anyone in your life with these illnesses who “wronged” or abused you when you don’t have the illness yourself. There are other threads for relationship and family venting. Let this be a support thread instead of a hate thread.
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 7013

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Anonymous 7032

my mother is a diagnosed and legit shizophrenic with voices in her head. She hid this for a decade and was in therapy for destructive parental behaviour. In this entire decade nothing changed and the shrinks made a fortune while she did zero progres and had zero betterment. She is still the same fucked up person as before.

Sometimes I want to ask those shrinks what they have been doing all this time…

Anonymous 7175

I'm in the midst of therapy and it seems like I have a type 2 bipolar disorder (with hypomaniac episodes). I have known that something was wrong with my head for quite a long time, but now that I'm being validated I'm in a loss. I'm currently in an hypomanic episode and I feel like I need to talk with everybody, do hundreds of things I'm physically uncapable of, and yesterday I displayed an aggressive attitude towards random strangers who said things to me on the street. I get the urge to cry sometimes because I'm so confused and anxious I don't know what's going on. It's really hard to form coherent thoughts in my head and to focus on reading something.

It's still too early to fully diagnose it and start considering meds, but each episode I feel more that I'm losing control of myself and my life. And I'm terribly afraid of the depressive episode that will surely come after this.

Sorry for the long rant, but, you know.

Anonymous 7429


I had a manic episode last week and finally got kicked out of the classroom with threats of calling security if I didn't leave immediately. God, I'm so fucking embarrassed. All my classmates think I'm a crazy, childish freak now. I made a friend in the class and we were supposed to hang out that day but I blew it by embarrassing myself in front of everyone.

I have class this morning but I'm not going to fucking go. My Dad's normally the one who gives me a lift and I tried telling him that the instructor is out and I don't have class today, but he got the truth out of me and then just started yelling about how I'll never be able to keep a job or function as an adult at this rate.

I'm mortified, angry, and miserable. God fucking dammit this doesn't even seem real.

Anonymous 18020

>What meds are you on?
Invega 6mg twice a day and Latuda 80mg at night.
>How do your family/partner/friends react to your symptoms?
Family reacts really well but I shield them from the worst of it. I just want to feel normal and not have them actually see what's inside my fucked up head.
What advice do you have to give to newly diagnosed or struggling patients?
The medication isn't working right now if you're struggling. They have genetic tests that can profile you to get the best results from you. You should change medications and doses until you find the right ones for you. It took me 6 years to find the right medications.

Venting. I used to have a career. I was a top salesperson. I prided myself on being honest and solving problems for people and making decent money doing it. Now I'm a NEET with no future. Tonight I'm drinking which is a big no-no for being on schizophrenic medication. I just want to lose control over the constant checking of myself that comes with being schizophrenic. It's like being a maintenance person at some kind of fucked up sewage plant. The pipes are always under pressure and could blow at any time and when they do I'm going to be covered in human waste and probably get some kind of disease from it. Also I'm really scared of getting so bad I become homeless. I don't want to collect trash and mumble to myself about my delusions in the cold. When my mom dies I don't think her boyfriend is going to care what happens to me so I'll probably die in the gutter. She'd 55 So I have some time to plan. There's just no way out though.


the "sub chad" Anonymous 14997[Reply]

Does he exist? Is it worth hoping that i'll find it one day or is it just a myth. Not just sexually submissive obviously, but submissive in general. If he does exist, is he a decent person and not just a womanhater who has a secret femdom fetish? Is it possible to find a nice attractive boy like this?
57 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17803

a man, even a NEET, is probably stronger than you

Anonymous 17805

From what I've gathered, sexual and romantic desires (specifically D/s and S&M) seem to be both wired and environmentally gained. The people who are wired that way usually discover it at an extremely young age or their early teens or they're able to look back at all of the obvious signs that they missed as a child once they finally figure it out. Pretty similar to when gay or bi people learn about their sexuality and how they react to it. People who environmentally acquire it through observation of porn, obsession with exoticism, personal circumstances or traumatic events, or interest in the taboo don't have the same sentiment about their sexuality, they aren't usually emotionally invested in it, don't usually consider it a quality of who they are, and usually have unwanted baggage because that's how they acquired the fetish in the first place.

Anonymous 17812


You're really out here saying a small framed 5'2" 100 lbs man is stronger than a stocky 5'6" 170 lbs woman? My experience tells otherwise. Are you the same anon from the other thread who I argued with about this same matter? Like I said, I've worked with skinny men who I have more upper body strength than, it's not unheard of.
>inb4 but ur also an ugly fatty chan kys
Admittedly yes, overweight bmi Big Bitch, but I do work out regularly and most people are surprised by my weight when I tell them, even my doctor.

That's most likely true, that it's different causes for different people. It's similar to other traits, I guess, like some people being naturally shy despite a gentle upbringing while others are forced into their shells via abuse.
I'd definitely identify myself as "wired" this way, it's always been a dynamic I fixated on since I was young. And the fetish for weak men goes way back.

Anonymous 17937

also, you can always overpower a man with some wrestling technique if raw force isn't enough

Anonymous 17975

Based sub manon sacrificing himself to make dommes feel more secure in pursuing them.
You will not be forgotten.


Anonymous 14354[Reply]

Why am I so attracted to men when they display some desire to be beaten sexually? I don't have any interest in hurting anyone and I think it would probably be very offputting, but when a guy, even one I'm not attracted to generally like pics related expresses that they're a masochist they suddenly become hot to me. What's wrong with me? Do I have some kind of problem?
25 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17949

>(men can't be sexually assaulted)

Anonymous 17950

Little boys can, but men are always into it. They say it themselves.
But like I said I would never. It's just an urge.

Anonymous 17951



Anonymous 17952

>"assaulting" (men can't be sexually assaulted)

You win, this trolled me pretty hard. But if you're actually serious you're a twisted shit

Anonymous 17953

>i could have stomped on his broken arm and fucking raped his little body right there.

I feel so bad for laughing at this, it's just so far out there. Do you still love boys? Or do you just have cruel sexual fantasies about them. How do your sadistic desires factor into your relationships and romance?


Anonymous 17821[Reply]

40 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17898

Yes after I posted that I realized that's what they wanted to say
but it's fun to imagine what else it might mean.
Would a 30 year old that was never ever a guy do that (here, have a job) and spends his free time at home-work?
ok I exaggerated too much and now it's not funny anymore

Anonymous 17900


>shy bf will be just as shy and won't reach out to me

Anonymous 17901

I post tfw no bf all the time but in reality I don't care if I have a bf or not, I am truly happy even by myself, I know I am too shy and I don't care if nobody reaches out to me, but if it happens I know I am going to be elated.

Anonymous 17902


also I wanted to attach this pic but forgot

Anonymous 17939


>tfw no bf who is just you but male


IT’S FUCKING OVER HELP Anonymous 16409[Reply]

I met a perfect boy at uni. At first I just noticed him because he is the absolute most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. Call me superficial but that alone made me develop a crush. I sort of tried to forget about him since I didn’t think it would go anywhere and tried to tell myself that he probably was a jerk anyway.

However, I was grouped with him and a few other girls for some group assignment, and he turned out to be the nicest person I’ve ever met. He’s ridiculously funny, interesting, cultured, creative (turns out he’s actually semi-famous in multiple fields), exciting, smart, he just has literally everything going for him. I’m not the most beautiful girl ever but I take care of myself (I’m skinny, have very well maintained natural blonde hair, blue eyes etc.). Acne has slways been a problem but after meeting this guy my face was finally clearing up. I suggested that everyone in the group exchanged numbers and everyone obliged.

Then the guy started texting (actually whatsapp which is the norm in my country but whatever) me. Mostly school stuff but also some personal things. He’d always reply to me right away, never left me on read, and was always willing to help and when I helped him he was super grateful and cute about it. I’ve never had text contact as good as this. He’d always say hi to me when we ran into each other, and in class he’d letvme sit with him. If he was talking to other people he’d always try to make me a part of the conversation too.

It got even better when I found out he was basically pure (yes meme af I know, you know what I mean). He was very serious about hygiene (he talked about how he disliked visiting friends who didn’t clean their rooms properly), wasn’t active on FB, IG or dating apps, isn’t part of a frat, and disliked weed (he does drink though but so do I so ehrm yeah). He also never mentioned a gf or anything like that.

The thing is, despite growingsomewhat close he never asked me out or anything and I was afraid to ask him out because I’m not sure if I’m worthy of him and came to the conclusion that he might be gay or something and I didn’t want to embarrass him. He was literally too perfect to not have a gf.

Then it all went wrong.

Last night I went out for drinks with a few uni friends and afterwards walked back to the train station (I don’t live in my uni’s city, I live with my parents in my hometown (which is completely normal in my country, the boy does the samPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
70 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17418

t. mutt american

Anonymous 17733

I'm interested in how a student can be semi-famous in a field. Please explain.

Anonymous 17923

Depends, my guy friend is sorta like that. He just finished med school and dates girls who are 5'6" plus and jokes he doesn't want "manlet" sons.

He's practically Mormon though so that might make a difference. I'm 5'1" and while we went on one date neither of us was feeling it

Anonymous 17925

> dates girls who are 5'6
That's average female height in the USA so I imagine who he really dates "average height." I presume that anywhere from 5'4-5'8 is his range, which is pure average. Tall girls would be like 5'10+, which is above the average male height in the USA.

Anonymous 17926

winning awards for writing or band or whatever, i imagine. "Semi-famous" probably means getting his name in the local town paper or getting some sought after scholarship.


Task Accountability Thread Anonymous 6922[Reply]

Need some support with achieving your daily tasks and reaching your goals?
What things do you want to get done today/tomorrow?

Here's a thread where we can put down our tasks for the day, cheer each other on for accomplishing them, and offer support/ideas for those finding it hard.

For example:
19th May or Saturday's Tasks or To do
- Do laundry
- Take out trash
- Read chapters 3 and 4
- Get out of bed before 9am

Helpful links that may help you set goals and tasks
Mini habit ideas: https://minihabits.com/mini-habit-ideas/
The ABC method: https://www.briantracy.com/blog/leadership-success/practice-the-abc-method/
Pomodoro technique: https://francescocirillo.com/pages/pomodoro-technique
59 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16704

Thanks for the recs, anons. I'll check them out!

Anonymous 17624


- Assignment 4
- Revision for course in preparation for review session tomorrow
- Self-quiz on chapter 11
- Do reading 9

Productive break tasks:
- Baking
- Relaxation yoga
- Read for 15 minutes

Anonymous 17913

giphy (1).gif

I'm >>15184 and >>16239 and I failed again yesterday.. for the same reason: Parallel parking. I did it perfectly three times the day before but… i don't know. This time I got inside the box finally (we used cones instead of real cars) but I was too far away from the curb and I didn't know how to fix it… The instructor gave me ample time to fix and she even repeated herself multiple times to try to help me. -sigh- will I ever get this shit?

Anonymous 17918


Sorry about that anon, but I believe in you!
Now that you know what the test format is like, you can recreate those conditions by getting non-car obstacles to practice with.

I tried to type out some tips, but I think in this instance diagrams and video is more helpful:

Anonymous 17919

Thank you so much for this video anon! Haha I wish I saw it yesterday but I am going to study it and rebook my exam again (though I have to wait two weeks until I can book again). I'm so grateful!


Pressure to excel but I want to do something else Anonymous 17807[Reply]

Hi all, posting here rather than on a forum for anonymity.

For context, I'm currently a college senior at a top university in my country in Asia. Not gonna reveal too many details, but basically it's a school full of people that are wealthy, smart, or both.

There are lots of things happening in my life (young adulthood and graduation are transition periods after all) and for the most part I'm happy with where I currently am.

I am content with being average. although I am fine with being average, and I am currently contemplating to disinherit myself to become a monastic, I don't think my family or the people I'm surrounded would appreciate it.
I feel pressured to excel, and it does not even have to be an explicit, verbal thing. Because of my background (above), it is very easy to feel insecure when you're acquaintances with the children of businessmen, politicians, scholars, celebrities, artists, athletes, musicians, etc. It is easy to brush away insecurities regarding famous people, brushing off their beauty or glamour as 'photoshopped' and 'curated.' But I find it not so easy at all, in my case. When you go to class with actual models, national athletes, and teenagers that have start-up companies… even some of our country's presidents are alumni of our uni. It's frankly a surreal experience.
What makes it even more surreal is that seeing these people as acquaintances just going about their day, their day-to-day lives aren't that far of a stretch to the ones filtered and manicured in a social media profile. Another thing is that many of them are unaware of their privilege. While there are always those that are jerks about it, a lot of them are just so… "humble," or at the least, "innocent" about it? Real conversations I've had with my classmates on their experiences such as: 'oh i lived in 5 different countries growing up because my dad's a government official,' or 'yeah I placed on a national scholastic competition when I was younger. it was ok' or 'i do practice every week because i compete for the national team' etc. to name a few.
The thing is, they're so unassuming and nonchalant over their achievements and privilege you can't even hate them for it. The humility might just make one admire them even more.

I think I have some qualities that aren't bad at all, but I still can't help feeling inadequate by comparison to my (very skewed) social circle. I do not want to bring my friends down, buPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17911

Xiaxue's fame is nothing compared to the atheletes and college models in china/hong kong/taiwan/philippines' top schools.

I liked xiaxue when i was 15 and while i can get the appeal, her snark/wit can't beat modelling for victoria's secret or like getting an actual medal in the olympics

Anonymous 17912

We are talking about Singaporean celebs not China/Hong Kong/Taiwan ones (I lmao'd when you included the pinoy celebs there. Come on now)

Anonymous 17914

Pinoys go all over the world and breed like bunnies, when the rich kids fuck up and can't get into murican/where-ever university, they fall back on the dual citizenship cheat and send their kids to the top filipino uni! I wouldn't belittle the top pinoy uni's kids. Like i wouldn't rank xiaxue above them.

Anonymous 17915


Just chiming in to mention Zhang Jingna, who started out as a hobby photographer on deviantART and now travels the world shooting fashion covers and celebrities, and she was an accomplished athlete before that. Not a household name or traditional celeb, but it's gotta count for something that she's a world-famous artist now.

Anonymous 17916

She ever wrote about her classmates in art school shitting on her because she was often out of school to do air rifle, but her work was graded better than the rest
And isn't she based in new york now anyway? Or anywhere but singapore

>tfw too young to have gone to a meetup with zemotion

I still wish i helped her scatter the petals or something when she did those victorian maiden shoots. By the time i joined the comm even her friends were gone


Sexuality Anonymous 17343[Reply]

Is it normal to start having sexual feelings about a different sex than I have previously liked at a late teen age? I have way passed puberty, but some things are…stirring in me about women. Is this normal to have? Thanks anons.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17772

I started really liking girls in my mid teens, pretty sure it’s normal. Plus sexual fluidity as was said

Anonymous 17843

yeah, its common.
Found out I'm bi one day with a close friend after some drinking.
Helped me be introspective too

Anonymous 17852


Anonymous 17854

Always appreciate a good earthbound reference

Anonymous 17908

how is any of that cringe


Ugly vag Anonymous 17097[Reply]

Guise i think i have a really ugly vagina does that matter?? It doesn't smell but looks like one of those nasty 'beef sandwiches' guys talk about
22 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17863

look, an incel

Anonymous 17865

Stop attacking my asexual friends on ruby.restaurant by equating them to incels

Anonymous 17866

Porn star vaginas look disgusting. I think maybe a type of dirty man wouldn't care about a lot of men prefer more attractive vaginas. They don't need to be prepubescent by any means but if they are the size of a fist and gray it should raise some red flags.

Anonymous 17874

color has nothing to do with being clean or dirty, its not even the race, it is individual

Anonymous 17897

Uhh, yes? Why should I have to put up with an ugly dick.

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