/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>54785
>all BL is shotacon
k

>>54784
That's so cute, anon, I hope she enjoys (and appreciates) it! One day when I live on my own, I hope to surprise my mom with that on her birthday :^)

>>54784
lovely! carrot cake is delish

>>54785
>all BL is shotacon
god i wish

I want to walk around the night-time streets of Florence or any other nice Italian town with a friend, where everybody is in their homes sleeping and its just us two

I want to sit and people watch with a sardonic contrarian, preferably a snarky lesbian in her 70s

I've never actually been on any beach at sunset and I'd love to get around to doing that

I want to get engaged inside a hot air balloon floating above farm fields.

>>54431
Filtered.

I want to live on my own plot of land with my beloved. We will live in shipping containers and own horses, goats, chickens, and sheep. One Saturday, I will wake up and complete my skincare routine, then go out and take care of our animals. I'll feel the cold air pressing onto my face and I'll smoke a cigarette before I retreat inside to eat the breakfast my husband has prepared me. He's going to be stoned, and we'll laugh together and talk about politics or something I read. Then we will spend the rest of day on leisurely activities together, namely art in the art studios we've crafted together in one of our shipping containers, or riding, or shooting, or simply laying down together and watching something or playing vidya. Maybe we'll have a picnic near our land off a trail somewhere that we ride to. Either way, we will eventually sit outside and talk and kiss and snuggle until the mosquitoes make it unbearable and we will retreat to our shower, where we giggle while washing each other with a bowl on the bathroom counter. Some bedtime snacks, maybe a charcuterie board, are in order, and after my love prepares it for us, a bottle of wine in tow, we will lean into each other, following the lead of the glowing screen in our room. We'll eventually decide to fall asleep, but that moment is delayed while we roll around in bed until all the stress of the day is unloaded. I fall asleep in his arms, having pleasant dreams until I wake the next morning.

That's my dream. It's embarrassing, but hopefully achievable.

>>54432
As someone who spent most of her life at the beach, I would like to encourage you to keep on going anon until you pay a visit to the beach. Swimming at the ocean at sunset is the best feeling in the world. I wish you good luck and that you may experience it as well.

>>52896
>when the parents get older, they expect the child that they treated the worst to look after them while the golden child has to do nothing
Kek, that happened to my mom.
Her parents can't stop taking about How her sisters are good at cooking and sewing and how much money her brother earn, but she's the one that take care of them.

I the overall pattern is: older sibling>youngest sibling>irrelevant rejected rest.

>>53039
>Go look at how many younger siblings were astronauts. Something completely random and unbiased, and the vast majority were first borns or single children.

A quick Google research gives me the following info about older siblings:
>taller
>higher IQ
>earn more
>live longer
Fuck.

>>52892
When I was 8 I told my mom that I was interested in dums and want to take classes.
When my older sister turned 12 she got the drums and the classes.
I got a bongo drum.
When she was 18 she told my mother her cooking skills were upper garbage and that she want to move out, which she did with the help of our parents.
When she went to college, she didn't made enough to survive so our parents send her $100 every month so she could pay rent.
5 years ago our parents gave her $20000 to pay some of her debt back, she paid $10000 in debt and the rest she spend on a car and vacations to japan and other countries.
She also came out as lesbian which my parents didn't liked at all, as far as considering disowning her.
But no matter what they somewhat stick to her.
TL;DR you can't choose your parents nor your siblings, make the best out of life

>>54134
I am
>Middle child
>Tallest (meaningless attribute)
>Highest grades in school, also the most educated
>Got a bf much later in life than other two siblings (but it's a stable relationship and he preserved the flower of his youth so it's all the same to me)
>Earn the most (except I don't care about money and I don't think it's a measure of success)
>Healthiest (actively work out and eat healthy foods). I don't think it matters how long you live, so long as you live well. We can only ever live in the present, to hoard life is as pointless as hoarding wealth, you can't use all your life at once anymore than you can spend and use all your wealth/possessions at once.

For a long time I was the black sheep but I overcame it all by just not giving a stuff

I'm the 2nd child of four and my youngest sister was allowed to get away with murder compared to me because my parents chilled out as they grew older. She could throw house parties, smoke and drink and get a slap on the wrist whereas I would have been punished quite severely, I'd say she's the favourite in our family overall. My older brother is much more intelligent than me and earning about 3x as much so I'm not bitter about them preferring him because it's deserved (and tbh it isn't a huge difference).

Update: I can't stop thinking about the other guy.

I haven't talked to the other guy since I mad this thread and I still think about him every single day. I am truly a piece of shit.

>>54742
>I am truly a piece of shit.
You got that right. You should leave him for the other guy and get it over with.

either distance yourself from the guy you like, realise you like the idea of him more than the actual person and spend more time with your bf or break up with your bf and go try something with the new guy
being with your bf and still entertaining the idea of a relationship with this other guy will help no one

This feeling for the other guy is, in a way, one of the many obstacles life will throw at you. It is like craving for chocolate when on a diet. It is ultimately something which you can use to your advantage by overcoming it. And get it in your mind that overcoming it is the right thing to do. Why?

Suppose the urge persists, then you're acquiescing to a life of darting to whatever puts itself before you. You're accepting that your life will only ever be one of random actions, with no discernible goals or meaning to your life. This feeling is a test, to train you to become master of your emotions. It is not important whether you immediately overcome the feelings, but that you try, and that you continually try after failing.

It is also foolish to leave your bf for this other guy, or to pursue this other guy 'on the side'. You have a sure thing with your current bf, and the above options would be throwing away a sure thing for something unstable. Perhaps it's the instability, the sense of adventure, that is alluring to this new guy. Maybe he seems like a novel and interesting person. Maybe he's more attractive than your current bf… All these are ephemeral feelings; the sense of adventure dies when you succeed/fail to woo the new guy, the novelty of a new partner will soon wear off, and looks fade with time.

You need to figure out what makes the other guy more attractive, then find a way to laugh at these things. Look at him for what he really is, look at your idea of him for what it really is. Find a way to make the whole idea seem preposterous, a complete contradiction of logic. Many have done what you're attempting to do, so it is possible. I wish you luck.

>>54389
don't use dating sites, just go outside

I remember we joked with friends, that if you really want a child, but can't find a good guy, just get one night stand as a sperm donor if you don't want to go to sperm bank.

As a girl who is still virgin, also was alone for a long time, but I found a my person on okcupid. I would recommend for everyone who is like me. You can filter out everyone that only wants hookups, dont lose hope! Never stop looking for the one.

>>54710
>just get one night stand as a sperm donor if you don't want to go to sperm bank.
Terrible advice. This is how you catch an STD. Plus you don’t know what his genetic history is like. He could have a slew of cancers or mental problems running in his family that suddenly get passed on to your kid. If you can afford to raise a child, you can afford to use a sperm bank.

>>54711
oh absolutely, it was only a joke, not advice.
The ideal would be to find the only one, but if you are really desperate, then you need to take an action if you want kids - freeze eggs, get sperm donor.

older people at churches are actually decent at introducing random singles to each other

>>54743
"agree to disagree" seems like a bullshit approach for friendships.

Sure it can work about small disagreements or cordial relationships but I'm not going to be best friends, be vulnerable and spend my time on someone I have fundamental disagreements with.

Like >>54752 said you wouldn't be friends with a racist. Even if you don't see being a TERF on the same level as being a white nationalist, your ex-friends disagree so they have no reason to pretend to still enjoy your company. It's best for both parties to just end the friendship imo.

I've spent my youth dealing with people who I had political disagreements with because they were still fun to hang out with (most of the time) and I didn't want to be petty. Life improved after I stopped having to deal with constant 13/50 posting, every news being met with jewish caricatures and being told my bisexual identity is invalid. The people I removed weren't horrendous, toxic people. Outside of politics they really cared for me and were there for me. But it's just too much of a headache.

>>54759
Agree to disagree doesn't mean just putting up with shit you don't like to not "be petty," that's just a female socialization thing (putting up with bullshit to not seem oversensitive). There should be a mutual compromise of just not talking about political shit that you know will annoy or upset the other person. You might have done that but it sounds like your friends didn't. The might not have been that bad but they were still being disrespectful to you and you were letting them. It doesn't mean people can't maintain healthy relationships despite disagreements in general.

I’m the same OP. It’s hard to just stop. That’s one of the things about the internet, it’s hard to completely disconnect as physical boundaries are not enough. One moment of weakness and all your hard work is ruined instantly. It’s even worse than just hearing gossip as so many people dump their personal feelings online in accounts that as really easy to find. When stalking them, if you find something good, it makes you feel bad but if you find something bad, you still feel bad for being a creep as you’re too involved in their life.

Best advice I can give you is to be aware of how you feel when you do it (bad) and take a moment to stop. Try and keep busy too. If you have a huge urge to do it, sometimes just imaging what you find instead of actually looking can help a bit too.

Anon I feel you. I blacklisted my ex best friend's social media and handles everywhere to keep myself from lurking. We didn't fall out for the same reason as you and your ex bff but my feelings are still similar. If she's doing something nice, especially with friends, I'm seething out of envy and jealousy and FOMO. If she's writing something negative, I know that if we were still friends, we'd be on a multi-hour phone call right now and that makes me miss her, but I also feel sort of smug over it. Though you two were more or less equal, my ex bff was always much better than me, and seeing her go through shit makes me feel a bit better about how much of a judgmental asshole she often was.


The JKR thing is a shit reason to stop being friends, the other day I was talking to friends who brought it up and memed about it and I felt so bad. I wonder if they'd disown me if they knew I didn't think her article was bad.

It's best to stop.

this kind of happened with me and a cousin a long time ago. the cousin was older than me and the rest of my family kind of took my cousin's side of the argument over time and i got so mad that i just deleted all my social media so i wouldn't have to talk to any of my extended family. i think that is what helped me though because when i stopped seeing their faces i stopped obsessing over them and starting thinking about myself and then i started doing things instead of sitting around thinking about my stupid family (jk we're actually all cool now).

>>54765
I would like to say the last couple years while some men have become more desperate overall it does seem like they are starting to give up as a group on love, but like that could just be my demographics. There’s definitely still 10,000,000’s of normies.

you can always be happy without men, even without just dating women you can lead a full life with your friends and hobbies

PTSD and avoidant cocktail, I tend to stay away from social interaction and just hide in my apartment. Men are scary and women will just pick on me for being less than them

Eyecel ugly in general

But mostly mentalcel due to being really autistic, depressed,hikkikomori ,in general weird. I am really lonely but I don't want to either embarrass myself get heartbroken or get taken advantage of abused

>>54801
I am also really stupid

jesus christ, being 15 is too young to be an incel, he's simply a loser now and it's very probable it won't change. Not to be rude but you most likely did the stupidest thing possible by forbidding him to enter the board, he most likely indulged in it even more. Don't fucking try to find him a girlfriend, that's just gonna be super uncomfortable for him and make him feel like a retard, he probably feels like one already socially.
What can you do?
Simply be a good sister, he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad. Do things with him that require to be outside.

>>54269
Im getting real tired of this shit.

>>54712
>he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad

we both know this isn't true lol
he can just as easily turn into one of those "every woman but my mother/sister/etc. is a whore"

>>54712
probably the only sensible reply in this thread.
he is a rebellious teen and you told him not to do something and you disapprove of it. of course he is going to keep doing it.
he wants to explore and he's probably going to continue to explore things you don't like because that's what people do, they do dumb shit that other people don't like.
want to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end? talk to him about it, push back on things you don't agree with, but don't try to control him.
lurking websites isn't the same as using hard drugs and having the same approach to both won't get you anywhere.
the best way to encourage him to change his behavior is to get him to start playing sports. i don't know of anything else that breaks inceldom behavior.

>>54712
>he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad.
Lmao if this were true women wouldn't have had our basic human rights stripped from us for centuries, and still do tbh.

He doesn’t care about you, just end things now so you can move on sooner. Don’t be a pick me and let him have your time until he leaves, hoping he will change his mind about a LDR. You should be with someone who makes you a priority in their lives.

>he just thinks girls are dumb
Why are you dating this mouthbreathing loser? Good riddance.

>>54464
if he really did care about you, he would at least try to come up with a plan to get back with you in the future imo

If he looks down on women like that then why does he even have a gf? He doesn’t sound like a great guy.

>>54465
Not the OP but this helped me a lot. Thanks.