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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 129954[Reply]

Do you guys think it's weird and gross that for a woman, sex is about the guy dumping a load into your body?
I don't understand why more women don't think it's weird and gross. Like it's fully accepted that it's normal. Imagine spitting in somebody's mouth or peeing into their mouth. GROSS!!
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129963

>>129957
Other ways to have sex?
>penis in mouth
>penis in the pooper
Sounds equally disgusting.

Anonymous 129964

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>>129963

Anonymous 129965

>>129963
Lesbians

Anonymous 130006

Think of it more like a blood transfusion. You're draining him of his life essence.

Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 130053

Moved to >>>/nsfw/15807.


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Long Distance Relationships Anonymous 44204[Reply]

Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
424 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118920

>>118889
Right time right place. You also gotta do background checks and search for their discord handle in the archives before adding. If you see him posting in sexting threads and shit like that, don’t add him

Anonymous 119168

my gf and i have been long distance for a bit over 3 years now. im getting frustrated because every time i ask what our long term goals will be i get a vague non answer ("well when i graduate…" etc)

thankfully both of us have the income to afford multiple trips a year to see eachother but it's definitely affecting my life since i feel like all the time in between visits is just like… the void. like im standing around in an elevator waiting to get to the next floor. i almost feel like i'm wasting my life on this but that's hard to admit.

i want to make it work and i feel like we can but man this is so taxing. at least its gone better than my last LDR where the first time we met up she immediately dumped me and we had to spend the rest of the trip awkwardly being friends only lmao.

Anonymous 121925

I see my post about him from a long time ago was deleted. Much to think about.

Anonymous 127271

I know this thread is pretty dead but has anyone gone through the CR1 process without a lawyer? I'm worried my fiance is about to piss away thousands on something we can file for ourselves.

Anonymous 127299

>>127271
post on reddit maybe?


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Anonymous 129918[Reply]

>They like it when you're available for them or talk about things that personally interest them
>They like it when you make an effort
>They like it when you try to make it special for them
>They like it when you bring energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, etc

But…

>They aren't interested in you
>They don't even like being with you
>They get bored and find other people who they like more than you
> They don't bring any energy, passion, enthusiasm, effort, they just don't care unless it's about them

Why does dating often feel like being an entertainer for other people?

Anonymous 129970

Have you thought about being more interesting?

Anonymous 129986

>>129918
Relationships are tough. Frankly people need to realize functional and healthy relationships are the exception and not the norm. You need to find somebody who you can not only tolerate being around but who is actively interested in things you're interested in. Not only that but they need to be attractive enough that you don't wince every time you look at them. They also need to know or at least be willing to learn how to fuck properly. They also need to be responsible in their daily lives and supportive when things are difficult. There's a metric fuck ton of stuff that can go wrong here so it's really unsurprising so many people these days view casual sex as the better alternative. Without cultural norms, laws, and religion keeping people in relationships, there's almost no reason to be in one unless you've literally found your super special unicorn soulmate which is incredibly unlikely.

Anonymous 129987

>>129986
>Without cultural norms, and religion
If this is what holds together relationship for you why do you bother? It sounds like willingly sticking your arm in acid.

Anonymous 129988

>>129987
We collectively bother as a society because these relationships lead to families and those families are the backbone of a nation.

Anonymous 130000

If they have other options, of course they won't commit. The male mating strategy is to spread their sperm.


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How can I help my baby sister get away from my abusive mother? Anonymous 129974[Reply]

Kind of a vent, but I need help.

My mother is a tyrant who exists to make other people’s lives miserable because of internalized hatred and many regrets in her life. Regret of getting married to the wrong man and having children and not pursuing a career. Which I fail to see as mine or my siblings’s fault at all. She’s just an overly narcissistic bipolar person blablabla many unsolved problems because of culture stigma and older generation anti mental health bullshit.

Now I need some advice here. We are three sisters with me being the eldest, middle sister is a teenager and the youngest is about a year old. There have been so many instances of neglect on her part. It’s not the typical severe parental abuse that I could go to the authorities with outwards like not changing diapers or not feeding her. It’s more so frequent outbursts of rage through vocal violence and not physical as well as emotional neglect that I know will have a profound impact on her later in life. I can see her getting startled and crying even louder from the sudden noise and anger. My mother is irritated by almost every sound my baby sister makes and has no self control as an above 50 year old woman to just keep her mouth shut and attend to her child. I’m always the one who has to pick her up and take her away from dangerous, loud and overwhelming situation and sit and play quietly until she calms down. My parents have no understanding of the words “mentally damaging” or “overstimulation” and whenever I bring these things up they brush it off with “It’s fine” or “If you care so much, you do something about it”. Which is completely and utterly retarded because that is YOUR child and not mine. It’s your responsibility. She is so fucking retarded and braindead. I’m convinced her brain is rotten from staring at her phone all day and scrolling on reels while my baby sister is crying because simple things aren’t being done like passing an apple or giving her a toy.

She also said some typical stupid-old-woman-who-regrets-her-life-bullshit like “I gave birth to you so I have the automatic right to sit on my phone all day while you take care of her” etc.

What can I do in this situation? I have exams to take soon and it’s stressing me the fuck out trying to balance taking care of a human life and my own studying struggles. My plan initially was to collect recordings of my mom being an asshat and then either take it to child protective services or tell her famiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129975

OP here again, I should also mention that whenever I try and explain to her that screaming and startling at a crying infant does nothing but aggravate them more, she brushes it off and says “it’s fine she doesn’t care.” Fucking retarded man.

Anonymous 129978

>>129976
Where did you get that implication from me saying that I’m unemployed and broke??? That’s just how student life is, not some universal ‘female’ thing where we all want to wear big-boy pants and work until we die. I don’t understand what you’re talking about. And also, moids are simply unreliable as husbands.

99% of this was just venting, that 1% is me asking if the right call is to start taking recordings or have another approach

Anonymous 129979

>>129978
>>129976
this is the avatarfag moid dont engage pls

Anonymous 129983

>>129974
>career
that's a cope she just hates your father and never love him in the first place.


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Anonymous 129924[Reply]

any other s struggling with bedrotting? i lay in bed all day due to executive dysfunction and i just don't have any energy to get up and do something, but i really want to be active… it's so bad that playing a video game or watching a movie i consider productive, but i can't even do that
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129934

>>129932
Just stop using your phone for a week. Not less or not only at night. Just full on stop using it for a week. You'll be very bored at first but you'll find other things to do. Get some sun early in the morning even if it's just sitting in the sun for a bit. Eat breakfast if you can.

Anonymous 129935

>>129924
Some call such mind state "anhedonia".

Anonymous 129949

516WXlaaeWL._AC_SL…

I get up and do things for my plushies. I "feed" one who reminds me to go eat, and when i get up, i try to male my bed and tuck the others in since they deserve to have a nice comfy bed. Its silly but it has been helping me for years

Anonymous 129951

>>129949
and what do you do afterwards, so you dont end up laying down again?

Anonymous 129956

>>129949
that's downright adorable i wish i had more childlike-awe in my life


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Anonymous 129611[Reply]

I feel like my boyfriend doesn't make me happy anymore. He does but he also doesn't. It feels like he's never doing what he says he will, or he's letting me down somehow. I love him. But I'm slowly starting to not enjoy being around him anymore. I think I can fix this but I'm too tired to bring it up. I don't want to hurt him.

Anonymous 129612

Fixed it with one conversation because I forgot my boyfriend is an autist that needs me to be direct with my wants and needs 👍

Anonymous 129618

>>129612
Any reason to not be direct? Maybe the autist is you.

Anonymous 129621

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We did it s, we saved her relationship!

Anonymous 129654

dopamine spikes when you first meet, then you get comfortable with each other and see the flaws. the question is will you stay, or leave to find someone new and chase that high

Anonymous 129948

>>129618
hes diagnosed lol


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pet grief Anonymous 107146[Reply]

my cat just died, my first ever pet. I thought I'd have longer with him since cats can live into their twenties, but he was only 14.
I feel really lost without him, the house is too quiet.
It was a very sudden death as well. He had been himself, acting completely normal, then just died. The vet suspects cardiac arrest from a blood clot.
I just want him back nonas.
Have any of you coped with pet grief before? How long does it take to start feeling better?
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129720

One of my cats died recently in about October or November. We're not sure how, he was found dead under my sister's bed. No blood or throw up or anything. I miss him badly, my remaining cat seems so lonely and confused without him. I hope there's an afterlife for pets and that we can be with them again one day, I miss him badly. My aunt's dog died over the summer too and my childhood dogs have been gone for a while

Anonymous 129759

Its going to be 4 years since i lost 2 of my childhood cats. There are times where i feel pangs of sadness but i need to lock in for my other cat. Shes 10 years old and i just want to appreciate whatever time i have left with her. It sucks cause i gotta work a full time job now but i reframe it as making sure she has a confortable life. But after her im not having another pet until i get 6 figs annually. Being poor and having a pet fucking sucks. Sorry for going on a tangent.

To answer your question…. Let yourself feel the grief. Repression doesn't do anyone any good. Find people who you can talk about your passed on pets to, or write about them. Whatever you do, keep their memorie alive because they're only in your life for a short while, but you're their whole world for their lifetime.

Anonymous 129940

An Old Cat's Dying Soliloquy by Anna Seward:
>Years saw me still Acasto’s mansion grace,
>The gentlest, fondest of the tabby race;
>Before him frisking through the garden glade,
>Or at his feet in quiet slumber laid;
>Praised for my glossy back of zebra streak,
>And wreaths of jet encircling round my neck;
>Soft paws that ne’er extend the clawing nail,
>The snowy whisker and the sinuous tail;
>Now feeble age each glazing eyeball dims,
>And pain has stiffened these once supple limbs;
>Fate of eight lives the forfeit gasp obtains,
>And e’en the ninth creeps languid through my veins.
>Much sure of good the future has in store,
>When on my master’s hearth I bask no more,
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129945

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Random dumb question but do you guys believe in animal communication and animal psychics? I want to believe in it because I wanna believe in souls and afterlife and I want to be with my loved ones when we die but idk, there's lots of scammers and I'm not sure if I can really trust a lot of the stories I've heard

Anonymous 129947

>>129945
Your soul is speaking out to you, listen to it, yes i believe it.
Consider reading some of Jacob Bohme's works.
Also winx is great.


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Unsent Letter Thread Anonymous 128239[Reply]

Previous thread >>>/feels/115657
37 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129650

my dear I miss you so much

It's been almost half a year since we last talked. Even longer since we were friends. I know you still like me. I can hear you start to talk louder when I'm around at school. During geography you avoided eye contact while bringing me my test but I could see you smiling. I was smiling to you too. You follow me every so often on spotify. Changed your bio to send me messages. You're so endearing, I wish you weren't so shy.

I know it is kind of my fault things ended but I couldn't keep waiting and only texting online. I want real contact. I think you understand that too. I was always planning efforts to talk to you, for example before exams. A shame you kept coming in late and had to sit in the front.

I miss your humor. You were so fun to talk to. Sometimes I read back our old, now ancient, conversations and find myself smiling. Somewhere I also think I might've took you for granted. I didn't see your spirit at the time. Now I see how sweet you were to me.

I wonder what I have to offer to you though? Looking back on our messages you were mostly carrying the conversations. I feel like I am too,, mentally ill. You are shy and have no experience while I've been in too many toxic relationships- though you don't know that yet. I'm afraid you might not be able to handle it, and support me right. I don't want to "infect" you either. Sometimes you skipped school after I did and it felt really shitty because I don't want to influence you like that. And what if you are just in love with the idea of me or the idea of having a girlfriend? Would you be okay not having sex? It is my greatest fear. I am too afraid to share all of my history with you- but that should be a part of having a partner.

I don't know. I also don't want myself to keep making excuses and not try anything due to my fear of abandonment and pushing people away. I mean, I'm not (yet) scared you'll leave me but more so, that we wouldn't work out and both end up very hurt. There's lots of "practical" reasons why we are "too" different to work but I still feel so strongly about you- that I wonder if I should just give it a shot.

I am planning on making more contact with you- just you wait. But you need to stop being shy. I hope that if you see I like you too- you have more courage to be direct.

When I can't sleep at night I think of you. I fantasize about us finally talking, going on a date. I want to hug and kiss yoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129811

Stop blaming me for being "selfish" and "overwhelming" when all I did was message you occasionally and tried to help when you threatened to kill yourself in my inbox. You're the one who preyed upon me when I was in a bad place, at a young age, yet I still chose to forgive you. But you're just so miserable you can't grasp that people can care about those who've hurt them. Honestly, I think both of us are pathetic.

Anonymous 129925

Hi. I'm not sure if you know this, but when you view my tiktok profile I get a notification of it. I don't think about you at all, but still get triggered seeing your name, and seeing your name checking on me scares me. After all I've done and subjected you to, you still checkup on me. I appreciate it, because it makes me feel cared for, and I want to let you know I care for you to. Nobody's perfect, I fall into the same loop I've fallen into so many times, even this much later. I still sometimes think you were the one, the only one. But then I think, Im probably just having a depressive episode and am extremely horny.I miss talking to you and I hope you stay safe in this political climate. Thanks. Bye.

Anonymous 129929

>>129925
if this is who I think it is. can you give me some kind of hint so I can know its you?

Anonymous 129933

>>129929
🐝 safe over summer break!


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Anonymous 128950[Reply]

I've gotten to the point where I've become such a touch-starved femcel, I've started to envy and hate pretty girls who have been SA'd or stalked by men before. Instead of feeling sympathy for for them, I get to the point where I am annoyed and disgusted hearing their stories where they had that one ex boyfriend that just "couldn't let them go" or having had a man in their life obsess over them. That has been the stark opposite of my life. As a femcel I have been ignored by men my whole entire life, and the exes I have managed to have had all wanted to ghost or abandon me, none of my exes were ever obsessed with me. None of them blew up my phone constantly or begged for me. At this point, I see women talking about obsessive exes as nothing more than humble bragging, especially Stacies, complaining about how "oh so hard" it is that they've had an ex obsess over and stalk them. They don't understand that the life of a femcel is much worse. I would take their life over mine in a heartbeat. Being a Stacy where I have men obsessing over me, stalking me, and wanting to grope me versus being the touch starved ignored femcel I am. It's easy to see their life is easy mode of people doting on them all the time (their life) versus a life that is absolute hell (my life).
8 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129172

>>129159
moids never like women. all moids unconditionally hate women, they are incapable of love.

Anonymous 129180

>>129169
They are. Andrew Tate's an incel.

Anonymous 129181

>>129172
Totally agree

Anonymous 129184

>>129180
He's a scammer pimp. Is being incel that much worse?

Anonymous 129186

>>129180
You're just proving you don't know or care what words mean which makes your claims of being a femcel all the less credible.


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suffering in general Anonymous 129870[Reply]

I'm manic and can't stop thinking about all the abuse I went through as a kid.

I experienced extreme abuse as a toddler and it shows in my day to day life. The average person just thinks I'm autistic or something if they don't see my episodes.


A while back I was groped in my sleep my partner at the time and it really set me back.

I want to hug someone without it feeling sexual, I wish I didn't have sexual thoughts about friends I make. I want normal relationships.

I've always been eccentric and weird but it feels worse now, everyone can tell I was abused as a kid right?

I'm currently living with my untreated mentally ill mom who treats me as her therapist/husband.

I'm so burnt out, I raised my siblings growing up and I can't keep going.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129895

>>129870
I've been waiting to reply to this while the site was being spammed. I'm really glad its over and I'm so sorry you got those awful replies from some weird pedo. I'm not going to lie to you and say "it gets better." My life is so similar to yours, but there are steps I have taken to make it a lot more bearable.

My first tip is move out! I get it. it's hard, but these people will drag you down. If you have relationships that are contentious but you still want them in your life, that's okay. They will improve with some space. I was heavily abused as a child too and I only really get along with my dad who I love but failed to protect me many times when there is a lot of space between us and my social life is active. Anyone you don't want in your life block asap. I don't know where you are, but most major cities have tons of boards of young people trying to meet people to get a roommate, this is also true of colleges if you are still in school. Consider renting a room rather than a whole apartment too.

>I've always been eccentric and weird but it feels worse now, everyone can tell I was abused as a kid right?
I often wonder the same thing. Try to think of it as separating the wheat from the chaff. If someone can see this on you and it drives them away, you don't want them in your life anyway.

I'm sorry about your awful ex. My ex did something super similar about a year ago and because he's still in my space this has become a prolonged Title IX battle. The fortunate thing is, this man doesn't seem to be in your space. Keep him out of your space, get rid of all the things that remind you of him. Maybe a new phone or mattress.

>I want to hug someone without it feeling sexual, I wish I didn't have sexual thoughts about friends I make. I want normal relationships.
I don't think this website is great about sex, so I recommend finding a space where traumatized sexuality (especially the oscillating between horny and self disgust) are better understood. Sex is a raw, biological thing. It's okay to have those feelings and I've found that the best thing to do here is a sort of radical acceptance of your own sexuality rather than repress it. After my assaults I often wished that I had no sexual feelings, had no body to be judged sexually and felt like my experiences made mPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129896

>>129895
Wow this is actually really helpful, thanks sm.

I'm at a "supportive independent living" facility at the moment.

My head is kind of spinning, my main goal is to get a nice backpack and all my belongings gathered up somehow.

I obviously need a job, I'm gonna try and get somewhere that's understanding if I can.

I should've figured my family would abandon me tbh, They're making me out to be deranged and inherently dangerous and it's making me feel like a monster.

Honestly not sure if I can have a relationship with my mom, I just wish she hadn't done the stuff she did recently. She has untreated bpd and the constant splitting episodes were too much and broke me.

I'm going to see if I can get a ptsd diagnosis, I'm pretty sure I have it at this point. I'm praying that I get a good psych or whatever, I'm supposed to get a call for a mental health program tomorrow or something.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 129897

>>129896
>I don't know how to do fafsa on my own, or really anything for that matter outside of cooking and cleaning.
Talk to an advisor in your school about this and they will definitely help you

>I obviously need a job, I'm gonna try and get somewhere that's understanding if I can.
Since it seems you're still in college, try working at somewhere like the student center, women's center or personal counseling in your university. If not i'd be shocked if your facility didn't have options for getting people into the workforce.

>I'm going to see if I can get a ptsd diagnosis,
PTSD is an easy dx to get, but I'm also going to recommend you go through an autism test if you have the means to do so. Since you mention that people perceive you as autistic it is probably worth it regardless. A lot of this is to avoid a BPD misdiagnosis, which is really common with the combination of autism x ptsd. Request a woman!!! I can not stress this enough. Because I don't see male mental health providers I've almost never been labeled some stupid bullshit outside of scenarios in childhood where they only saw me with my abusers in the room. Maybe try the RAINN hotline as well? They are usually able to connect you to free mental health resources within your area.

Anonymous 129906

>>129897
There isn't a university where I live unfortunately.

I'm diagnosed autistic and tried applying for disability with it but was denied because I was diagnosed too long ago. I do often tell people I'm diagnosed.

Thanks for the advice about male providers.

Unrelated but every spring most of my family gets manic and they get really scary. Like none of them admit they're bipolar and it's bad. Since they know I'm diagnosed they end up projecting how they feel onto me and it gets weird, vent over.


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