/feels/ - Advice & Venting

My first boyfriend tried to manipulate me into it, but something like this was never for me. Once I commit to somebody I really commit. Of course I realised not too long after that he was only pushing for polygamy as an excuse to fuck other girls, and was going ahead and doing so without my consent. Whew lass.

My current partner is extremely committal. We have brought up the possibility of threesomes in the future, but if it ever did occur it'd be a purely sexual thing, no emotions involved.

>>517
This is a weird post. How is being artsy or awkward looking reeking of insecurity?

Im in a V (my boyfriend has a boyfriend who is just a friend). We are really, really happy. We live together and consider our relationship a very long term thing.

Im not "out" and my family would never understand. My boyfriend is out to his mom (she said she was also in a poly relationship once) but not to his dad. My meta (bf's bf in poly terms) is out to his family, and they say this doesnt top the chart for crazy things hes done.

Just ask anything you want to know, i cant come up with topics rn for some reason. Were happy though, and thinking of adopting some pets in the future.

Tried it, doesn’t work.

maintaining and being in a monogamous relationship was hard enough for me. can't imagine how more than one person would be. terrifying stuff.

>>49622
kinda but with dead people
>Lord Alfred Douglas with his brother Francis Douglas

Might be the depression or poorly hidden masochism, but I honestly have daydreamed of a divorce. First I dream of a stable marriage with romantic moments but then it breaks down or abruptly ends in cheating, death or worse. I don’t allow myself daydreams of romance without a healthy dose of negativity.

>>49634
I don't think that's depression. It's just a recognition of the fact that men are incapable of lasting love. I likewise daydream about finding love, but then my future ex-husband inevitably cheats on me because he is a porn-sick diseased male animal, and then I put him out of his misery (male lives are not worth living.)

I miss having a pet. I love animals, but one of my family members is extremely allergic, and that's their excuse to never get a cat or dog. I remember when I was younger and we had a really loyal dog who stayed with me from the day he was born (we owned his mom) to the day when he passed away. I don't remember how many years he lived because I was pretty young, but he left such a good impression of animals on me that I desperately want to have one again, and give it the same kind of love. I'm a sucker for cats though, so I'll probably get one. I feed strays whenever possible and one of my neighbors has an adorable cat who comes to visit me every now and then. I can't wait to get my place and adopt one.

>>3380
Can we have a funny/silly/cute pet and animal stories thread too?
I just lost a cat as well, she was more of a mother to me than my own mother is, and it feels like I'm dying inside when I read sad cat stories, but I have like ten funny stories I could contribute to a funny thread. I'll even start the funny one if you'd like me to?

I'm sorry about your cats, and everyone else's cats too. Hearts for everyone <3 <3 <3

>>3386
Ok! I'll make one right now! I created this thread to help people share their grief and so we can all help each other through it but a happy thread is a good idea too!

My dog, Blackie, will soon be 12 years old. Ive been away from home almost 3 years now and from the pictures i can see how old she has become. Her snout is white and she doesnt have so much energy.
My mom brought her home after finding her wandering around the train station, trying to avoid getting hit by a bus. She wrapped Blackie in a towel and put her in her purse, praying that our then-puppy wouldnt make a sound. Blackie was 4 months or so old when we found her, and she grew up alongside my sister, who was about 7 months old.
I understand and accept it logically that her time is coming to an end, but im just not fucking ready. And i cant start the process of emotionally accepting the fact that she is old now. Im in denial, and i cant even give my dog one goddamn hug.
I miss my doggo, anons ;-;

>>49670

Aw, anon, that is really tough. I know 'rona makes it hard right now, but could you make it home this summer to see Blackie? It will hurt a lot when Blackie goes, but you will always carry your love for/from her and good memories with you. When my sweet old childhood cat started to get to the end, I wrote down EVERYTHING I could remember about our life together - weird nicknames I gave her, songs I'd sing to her, funny habits she had, etc. Blackie will always be with you.

My parents would be crushed if I died.

So it’s better or me to stay alive despite being a depressed failure for them. I’ve already memorized the freight train night schedules. If both mom and dad die of covid, I’m gone.

>Why haven't you killed yourself yet?
Simple answer: because the ride never ends.

>>47538
Hope in God, tbh.
And I am afraid of failing.

>>47545
Okay, off-topic and all, but duolingo sucks at learning langauges

>>49635
This. Pirate Assimil instead.

>>49425
Yup, it's fucked up. She and I are tainted, it's not excusable. I just don't have any (female) friends beside her and she's also isolated. She's oversexualized and if it wasn't for COVID she would probably sleep around and I would not have to worry about my loyalty either. She's the only chick I have this kind of cravings for. Pathetic.

well LDR stuff isnt really the same as actual relationships so I wouldn't go as far to call yourself "tainted" tbh if your bf even found out the first thought that would come to mind would probably be "at least shes a girl."
I really wouldn't go as far as to think you're a dirty person for being attracted to someone whilst you're in an LDR with someone you will likely never meet or truly date

>>49414
>You don't have to give me any advice
Just don't slut-shame yourself, by the way. Remember what you just said about how you had those lesbian experiences with her when you were single, so there is nothing wrong with you nor what you did in the past.

eh, my sense of right and wrong is probably the only thing keeping me from doing all sorts of drugs (that and i have to graduate uni). i get the temptation to try them until a voice in my head tells me not to – not that it's always morally wrong to do drugs, but i know intrinsically that it will lead to bad outcomes for myself (that, and a lot of people i know who do lots of drugs are shitty people, so maybe there is some moral association). i would like to try them at some point though.

sorry if this was inappropriate or irrelevant to add >.>

>>49440
>well LDR stuff isnt really the same as actual relationships
Oh shut up, yes they are. OP is in a relationship and is fantasizing about cheating, and you're trying to justify it? You're gross lol

>>49601
Sounds like a narcissist. Of course you believed him, you're not awful like him.

>>49544
Let me preface this by making it very clear I am denying the impact of molestation but I wonder in these cases where it is only later realized as something bad how much harm comes from internalizing trauma due to social conditioning? I had something happen when younger but papa did not care and it never bothered me which is why I ask.

>>49608
Do you have children? Often when victims have their own children and realise how small and naïve they would have been at that age, it starts affecting them more.

>>49604
Yeah, very likely had a cluster B disorder. He told me he had schizophrenia but I am now starting to believe that he was lying about that too to make himself look tragic and interesting. He was always the victim in all of his stories. His mother said he had bipolar. I don’t know the truth, just that he was extremely attention-seeking and had no empathy for me. I just fucking hate him.
>>49608
This is an interesting question, I was actually just thinking about that.

>>49620
Samefag but I get heated just thinking about this. The last time I spoke to him, I sent him a long letter calling him out for all the lies and abusive shit he did to me and then I blocked him. I hope it gave him a panic attack lol. Iwish I was harsher.

>>43886

i did a year ago and spent all of last year without friends :(
it’s been two days since i’ve started talking to them, the year started a couple weeks ago

Yeah i’m trying, i have some people i talk to occasionally about academic stuff but it never clicked, with these girls i feel really accepted for who i am so that’s why i’m scared

>>43888
You know what literally always works? Just be nice. I have literally never met anyone who hated the one friend in each group whose defining feature was “she’s nice :)”. And every group has one, trust me. Of course being respected is another thing, but if you get known as the nice one you’ll always have friends

>>43932
this. be nice, mirror their energy. If they're excited, share the excitement. pick up some of their lingo, what shows they watch, etc (in a subtle way- ask for recommendations). Make eye contact, smile, laugh at their jokes, say their name when you speak to them.
See what you have in common and indulge in it (you both like coffee? bring her a cup one morning. You both watch some anime? get matching keychains with her for her birthday or something).
But ultimately, being nice is the best thing to do. Also don't say anything weird kek. How are you doing?

It takes more than one mess up to lose a friend, so if you mess up just apologize and move on as soon as you can. That's what helped me the most, I used to turn small mistakes into big deals and that just makes things worse.

>>47325
I had only heard of NEETs and shut ins before, but the hikikomori description also applies to me.
Kind of wary to send you a request, as I never talk to anyone online. Should I? I don't even play games anymore. No idea about what we could have in common tbh.

I hope it gets better for you anyways. I'm also at a similar situation, i just don't know what to do with people's attention; can't keep a conversation going or started.

>>47332
wow thanks soo much for being a nice poster anon!!

I think you should know that unless the community you join is using true incel talk like "looksmaxxing" and all that stupid shit it could just mean they are meming but I know what it is like out there.
For some reason incel stuff is everywhere.
Incels are failed normies.

You will make a friend eventually I have met the most autistic girls as in mid functioning full spergs and even they managed to make friends.

>>47333
hikikomori is a shut in.

look at what youre really interested in/do on the regular basis. Do you watch movies all day? Why not join some movie forum and discuss about them. Do you like music? Why not pick up an instrument or become a music critic? Do you like fighting for justice? Why not join a group that advocates for this and that. But also know making friends as adults is hard and has more luck involved. I too want friends but its really hard.

As someone who also didn't have friends for a long time because I missed out on socializing as a child, I can say to you that it's definitely possible to make friends as an adult, but getting started is the most difficult part. Because if you have friends who you like you can easily meet new people through them. But if you don't have any friends at all it can be kinda difficult. First of all, stop searching online, as people before me already stated, most people won't get really close with people they only know online. Instead try joining a club or going to an event with likeminded people. For example I met some really cool people at a jam session in a bar and started hanging out with them occasionally. Another advice I would give you is dont be shy. I know it's easier said than done but you just have to force yourself to get out of your comfort zone, drink some alcohol if that helps you. Don't wait for the others to start a conversation, most people already have many friends and probably won't even notice you. Start talking to them, just be yourself. You can even say something like "Hey I'm trying to find some more people who are also into subject of the club or event you're at, what is your name?" most people are actually nice and interested in meeting new people. And even if they're not: fuck them and talk to somebody else. Whenever I feel too socially awkward I just try to pretend that they are just Npcs in a game and you're not afraid to talk to those, aren't you? ;) Good luck to you and I hope you will make some friends!

>>47255
As someone who had to learn social skills from scratch as a late teenager, I can say the thing that worked for me is treating socialising like you're playing an RPG. You have to be mindful that when you say specific things, or encounter people in specific situations, you'll get specific responses. You also have to grind for XP in areas such as music, TV, and sports (which isn't fun) so you have enough small talk to have with strangers. If you pass the small talk speech check, you unlock new speech options about deeper topics. Most of all, you need to start side quests by going out of your way to join hobby clubs or talk with people outside work/school. Be sure to say hi to people you see regularly or compliment them every now and then. Remember that your best bet is to talk to real human beings, not loners on the internet. The people you surround yourself with leave an imprint on you.

>>49568
Ignore Stacy, I recently got my first bf and even before that happened I knew that it would be very nice if I had found the right person and we were in love. But I guess it can suck pretty easily if you didn't know well your partner before and things turn out bad, like he isn't as much committed to the relationship as you are.

>>49571
I'm the anon here >>49572 , I mistook you for Stacy too, sorry.

>>49590
sadly women say this too. there's no slang for female masturbation that doesn't sound weirdly gross (flicking the bean, schlicking, etc) so we have to resort to male terms if we want to be casual. i recommend "getting off" as a neutral term.

>>49573
It's okay, anon. But honestly I feel worse for women who have reached this conclusion after having been hurt by men they trusted.
>>49590
Technically you still jerk your hand. But also what >>49592 said.

>>49567
Moid detected, not fooling anyone with the chad stealing your virgin gf analogy scrote

>>49567
It's just a size difference fetish sis, it's not that deep.

>>49569
>>49574
Yeah you two go date guys shorter and thinner than you are, I wish you luck. They like that we're smaller than they are, why is it weird when reversed?

>>49586
>They like that we're smaller than they are
People generally like having more power.
>why is it weird when reversed?
People generally don't like having less power.

Obviously not everyone can be the biggest and strongest, and there's realistically no changing the hand that nature's dealt, but it seems weird to me to actually enjoy it rather than just accept it.

>>49588
Size =/= power
Anyhow I enjoy it cause I like feeling protected. I know guys are capable of terrible things but that's not the sorta guy I keep around me. Don't quote me if you're just gonna say all men are bad and there's no such thing as a man who can protect