/x/ - /x/

>>10463
Misa Misa right?

i need to stop being schizo i need to stop being schizo i need to stop being schizo i know literally everything about her it fucking scares me i wish she would leave my head i hope i’m just being delusional i HOPE

I’ve read so much about the paranormal and conspiracies about the afterlife that I’ve seen some horrifying theories for what happens when we die (like that it’s possible to be trapped as a ghost for eternity and never reach heaven/reincarnation). I think a lot about the concept of eternity and how huge numbers can get or all the things that could happen throughout infinite time. I don’t know if any of it’s true but after thinking so much about it you begin to wonder how no one else has lost their minds thinking of the possibilities

>>11167
Absolutely same, it's got me genuinely too afriad to kms despite being insanely depressed lol

>>11168
Anon you replied to and yeah it’s horrifying. The book “Embraced By The Light” by Betty Eadie has put me on a meltdown because she says Mormonism is the closest to the true religion and that scares the fuck out of me. A bunch of celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Kim Kardashian have boosted her as well, I hope it was made up

>>11070
>he tried to shock/exposure therapy by putting it in my bed which was a surpressed memory from 5-20
sorry nona but this sounds funny as fuck

>>10203
Yeah I’m with you, that great unknown of whatever is after we die is enough to scare me away from ever killing myself at least. When I see big numbers it also causes me to spiral into that existential fear and any idea of the afterlife or lack thereof is scary to me and makes me want to meltdown honestly

spiders

had one crawl into my hair as an 11 year old. it crawled off my head and onto my bedroom floor and i just cried and cried and cried. now i dont even play minecraft on anything but peaceful. sometimes i get over it, but then i get “emotionally taxed” and it comes back full swing.

fucking hate that shit.

Walking on sandy beaches barefoot.

Ever since I was little I had this fear that there are knives or needles hidden under the sand's surface… I just can't get over that thought. I hate sand anyway, touching it makes me cry.

Big things. Even just pictures of big things, especially when they are next to something smaller like a picture of a person.

>>11039
Your reading: Futility, Love, The High Priestess, Knight of Wands, Wealth, Ruin.

Futility is pretty self explanatory. The card depicts a large sword identified with the sun, beset by three swords on both sides. The swords are identified with the planets, and both sets of three are equal to the center is every measure. You need a miracle to overcome the odds. Love is love in its simplest and purest form. Not just love between two people, but the divine masculine and feminine in perfect harmony. The High Priestess is a guardian of sorts, or a keeper on knowledge. She is one of the most feminine cards of the majors, and this leads to her naturally intuitive nature. You could say she represents nuit, or an intuitive experiential knowledge that is the object of all occult practice. She sits on the threshold of the abyss. The Knight of Wands is the fiery aspect of fire. He IS action. Both the impulse and the process, very masculine as well. Wealth is the most auspicious card, and considered the last card of the tarot. It represents an abundant wealth of something. It could either represent the full completion of the work (whatever it may be you have working towards) and all that results from it, or it could just be a wealth of something in general. Such wealth is great, and must be spent wisely or else it will cease to be. Ruin is not as bad as it seems. It represents pure reason with no emotions. Eventually, the mind unchained will consume itself, but in this not all is lost. The body remains, and the two can still be reconnected.

So I didn't even read 'with' when I read and asked you questions but thankfully the cards got it for me. So TL;DR, the pairing of futility and love are obvious, I won't spell it out for you. The next three cards are not so simple. I drew a clarifier for the High Priestess, and I'm afraid there is going to have to be another sexual analogy. So basically, the Knight of Wands is impregnating the High Priestess and the result is Wealth. The clarifier is virtue, which is the Three of Wands. The number three is the number of understanding. So I would say act on your intuitions, but be careful not to act too rashly. One of the pitfalls of the Knight is that he is incapable of deviating from his path, and it may lead him to ruin. The Knight of Wands could also be representative of a person, and since the Knight is surrounded by opposPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>11040
Your reading: King of Swords, The Empress, Page of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, The Devil.

The King of Swords is the most intellectual card of the court. He has little on his mind, and what is there he as conscious control over. He is wise, capable, but manipulative. He walks the razors edge between power for power's sake and for the sake of his kingdom. The Empress is the card of the divine mother. She is the feminine counterpart to the Emperor, she represents abundance and creation, and all of the aspects of feminine energy. The Page of Cups, like most of the other pages, is transfixed by his cup, and the fish within. The fish inside the cup is looking back into the eyes of the page. He is captured by his emotions, and he observed and studies them closely. A procession of knights follows him, one of earth and one of water. These knights represent a fulfillment of your desire, they bring the material and emotional aspects of your relationship. The Devil in this case represents your fear. I pulled a clarifier for this one (Five of Pentacles) and to me the devil is chaining you to the fear of rejection or perhaps a fear that what you seek lies elsewhere.

TL;DR, I think you should just go for it. The King of Swords and the Empress bid you to consider both your mind and your intuition. The Page of Cups is you, I think the fish in the cup is your nigel. The knights represent what you want and stand to gain from the relationship. The Devil holds a torch, the flame of love that you seek. You must take it from him if you want you dream to be realized. I have someone I'm obsessed with too nona, so I'm rooting for you.

Dunno if you're still taking requests: Should i step away from this friend group, or am i being hasty based on minor discomfort? Deck 1 please! And thank you.

will i ever move to my desired country? will my career plans work out there? deck 2 plz

2 readings for 2 separate questions (if you are still doing readings):

1 (deck 1): Will I be happy in my career path? Or should I fall back on the other one?

2. (Deck 2) Will my husband cheat/die/have a mental breakdown in the future and ruin our marriage?

>>11032
Yes I used AI to help write this. My grammar and writing skills aren't the best. I read my post and totally agree with it

>>11033
What a weakling, you should embrace your typing autism like who cares at the end of the day

>>8984
Haro evurinyan, hou aru you?
Fai, sankyu!

Ai wish ai waa a bardo.

If you can see a spirit, it's someone who hasn't fully moved on from their worldly attachments!
If you fully move on and rejoin the All, you lose your individuality for a bit .. to be one with Everything.
A spirit with a full body is held back by something.

>>10403
>lose your individuality
on my way

Spirits are formless. They don't "look" like anything because they are beyond the field of vision. If you are to imagine a spirit, imagine a thin layer of silk spread evenly over the entirety of space time. Spirits exist everywhere at all times. They're neither here nor there. Spirits are immaterial; they aren't tied to the physical realm. Your mother was right in that spirits appear like bodies of water; meaning, like liquids, they take the shape of the containers that hold them. When there is no containers, they overflow across the material realm. Spirits can appropriate the forms that they have seen in life, but those are like crass impersonations and don't hold weight. In your mind, imagine a great big ocean, but the ocean has no borders nor landmasses, it's just endless water. Now imagine all that has existed and all that will exist is held within the confines of that ocean. That is what the spirit is.

I always imagined them as just light orbs that can take on any shape or form they desire. Unless there is some kind of metaphysical gender for them but I doubt it

>>8999
Karlyn Borysenko in picrel vibes, new age/new thought is so weird. And kinda nihilistic when you really get into it.

>>9018
Mormons and new agers/thoughters believe you do because pre-birth/post-death you’re infinitely smarter and do it for a higher spiritual purpose. It walks a line between “ok that kinda makes sense” and spiritual bypassing, idk if I believe it cuz there’s so many NDEs that say its true and technically any finite suffering doesn’t mean anything for an eternal existence, I hope it’s not true though, it’s so nihilistic.

>>10528
You can just say you think they’re omnipresent, sounds a lot like Nirvana is what you’re describing imo

I had a really long dream about some actor/director/manager guy in this comfy worn-down city between some mountains, the sunlight was always nice. He was a funny guy, a scumbag, a jerk, an asshole, probably a rapist and murderer, etc. He spent the whole dream walking around town, meeting friends, having meetings, arranging gigs, going to parties, etc. He went up in the air in a blimp made by a genius kid who was doing props for a set. He offered to make the kid rich, he was rly generous with people. Then I think he was going to go to a sex party or something.

At the end of the dream, before the party, NOT at the party, I was showed up. We talked. He made it clear that this dream was a view of his life, his real life somewhere else, and was not about me, there was nothing here about me. I appreciated that clarification, so as dream-controller, right before I phased out, I "snapped my fingers" and made sure he had a really great sex party and got a couple hot twink boyfriends and made some extra good business deals or whatever.

I feel like someone drew a sigil and it happened to connect to me, like I was a demon in some other reality for five minutes once. I've been watching too many silly spiritual videos on yt.

The city was really nice though, very real feel. It had that nostalgic feeling, like it was worse than before, but still somehow as good as when you were a kid. Always sunset, sunrise, the roads and buildings were old, but plants always grew in the cracks. Th mountains really hugged the town. Idk. Strangely pleasant dream for how evil some of it was.

>>10437
> I was showed up.
Godddddd I hate how I jump around when I type anything long.

I heard a voice saying "Hey, health obsessed girl." I paused and then replied "Who, me?" The voice responded "No, you're white trash girl." Then I woke up.

Super weird one from a few nights ago actually, this one had me wake up in a cold sweat

>Sitting in livingroom of my apartment, talking on my phone to I believe my sister
>"Can a loved one fall for a skinwalker's voice?" I ask her, to which she responds with, "They are almost exactly like you from far away but the closer you get to them, the more you can see that something is just not right."
>a few moments later
>I hear my own voice coming from my son's room
>It is me cooing or baby-talking my 4 year old son, the door is open but I cannot bring myself to look in,
>I can tell that something is not right
>I peek in, the skinwalker or mimic or whatever doesn't see or hear me.
>my son is asleep but it looks exactly like my mom except bald
>it is still talking to him like he is awake and playing it's very bizarre, he is just lying there.
for context, I could tell the thing in my dream was not a future me or my mom it was just some sort of malevolent entity that was horribly imitating me and looked like my mom
In real life my mother is a drug addict who horribly abused me, I thought maybe this dream was my fears of becoming like her manifested in a weird nightmare.

had a dream where me and a friend were gonna go to an event in our local big city where they were having an Ensemble Stars event at a local café. I thought it was cool… but when we stepped into the café, we didn't see a single character from enstars at the event. Instead, it was ran by a lot of realistic furries that kinda looked like picrel. I was thinking in my head "maybe they're enstars furries!" in the dream, while my friend was so disappointed at what we ended up finding. Idk shit about shit about enstars, that's more of my friend's thing, but I just thought it was really funny.

>>4152
The only time I shoplifted was around the age of 10. For a couple of weeks, my friend and I would pocket these cheap packs of candy we loved from the little gas station within walking distance. No one explicitly talked to us but one day when we walked in there there were suddenly new and very visible security cameras. We took that as a sign to stop.
I'm glad I didn't escalate further or get caught. I don't think the law would have done much to me at that age, but still.

For a while I used to fill up my bag with $100+ worth of meats, etc. and pay for a few of the cheap items so as to not arouse suspicion. The bag I use has a compartment at the bottom that I can fit small items into without changing the appearance of the bag, and I always take advantage of that.
I often buy multiples when it comes to products and clothing. If I know I'll easily get away with it, I'll take a reasonable number and only pay for one.
Many years ago I had a Nigel who supported my shoplifting habits, we often stole food together and cooked beautiful meals. When we were together I was more opportunistic and often stole small things like makeup brushes and skincare products from department stores.
I've never been caught. Only people with a shifty/antisocial vibe get caught.

When I was 11 I stole earrings and hair accessories in a mall and tried jumping the counter to get food on the same run. I got the cops called on me. Never stolen since.

I steal ewaste from work all the time because they just throw perfectly good things away whenever. If it can fit in my backpack and it’s on the disposal pile, it’s coming home with me. Not especially expensive items, but some of them have been pretty useful. I have a really ancient spinny 1TB hard drive that I’m using for file backup. I just consider it recycling. You can’t even dumpster dive this stuff because they put it through some kind of grinder, you have to get it before it goes to the grinder. We’re moving to a new building soon and if it has CCTV, I guess I’ll stop.

used to all the time from big stores. loss prevention at most of these places now is wayyyy too serious for me to want to try anymore. not worth becoming a felon for multiple instances of pety theft.

went to the grocery store recently and accidentally put something in the bagging area that i didn't scan at self check out. immediately the machine started beeping and then played a recording from above of me putting the item in the bagging area… along with exactly what item it was. scared me straight for now lol

>>10622
I can finally post something a bit longer, because I have access to a smart phone and not just a shitty flip phone.

> stalked and harassed since at least 2021
> only heard about gang stalking because of a woman that I thought was a schitzo who fried her brain with meth at the sober home i was living at
> all together there were three separate women out of seven claiming to be TIs
> buy a car because I work either really early (like 3 and 4 am) or work in the afternoon and get off late (11pm and 12am) and I'm getting followed to and from work by guys who look like ms-13s
> get kicked out of sober home by the owners for buying a car and only half of my rent
> kinda sperms out because it's December and ever offer to pay $150 of the $300 I owed and tat is pay the rest before Xmas
> owners record me and send it to everyone in the house with weird rumors about me relapsing and buying heroin at NA
> my grandma is an idiot and calls the owner and threatens him
> owner bragged about having "secret" or some other high security clearance
> live in a couple other sober homes and get my life together
> move into room with husband and pets at an apartment owned by some new age hippy
> realize apartment is really weird: barely any food, no silverware except for butter knives, the cat and dog the hippy apparently owned were missing, the doorknob on our door had no lock, no TV, no microwave, no vacuum or cleaning supplies, etc
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>10757
And this is what happened just this summer.
> decide I need to get out of this giant military town filled with intelligence agencies and private security companies on every corner
> husband agrees
> keep hearing about one particular city with a great punk scene
> my boss and therapist were both from there and made it sound like heaven
> husband and I visit and agree to move there,
> can transfer with my job and so can husband
> try finding apartment but keep getting rejected
> my credit score looks awful and was showing $40,000 in debt which was in no way accurate (I got it fixed)
> try apartment locators but they eventually quit calling my husband and me
> find tiny home for rent by owner through Airbnb
> is perfect and super cheap
> move in by husband needs to watch our niece while his sister is out of town for three weeks
> there's a few other tiny homes and RVs on the large property
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>10460
>>10630
Update a creepy white van with tinted windows and no licence plate has been driving around my street with the driver looking directly at my house. Whoever's driving this vehicle has done this like 3 or 4 times in the past month.

So, this might interest you guys. I've never posted before, but I read this thread and I thought I might contribute my experiences. I've never been a TI, but I have met a handful of people who have invited me to participate in what is essentially gang stalking. Only one of them has been self aware about it though. It's never been a government employee or anything, though it's not unlikely that intelligence agencies use it as a tool. Rather, it's usually just really unhinged individuals or groups of individuals online. Weird friend circles on apps like Discord and Instagram, finding people they think are funny or "crazy" enough to justify monitoring, and doing it as a social activity or group. Most of them don't even realize it's technically stalking, and woe be upon anyone who ever suggests to them how insane and creepy it all is. I think the idea that it's the government harassing most of you schizos is, truthfully, very narcissistic. Nobody here is going to be the woman to overthrow her government or amount to much, odds are it's just a group of unhinged moids (and especially girlies) thinking you're funny to watch chimp out, or crazy enough to get a rise out of. Gang stalking certainly happens, it's a well documented phenomenon, but if you're worried about it, don't look to law enforcement or your government (unless you're a journalist or something, obviously). You should usually look at the online friend group you were ostracized by, or the girl who acts nervous whenever you catch her pointing her phone at you, or the moid watching all your social media stories that you don't interact with and that doesn't follow you. Keep yourselves in good health and informed, my favorite schizophrenics.

>>10758
I hope you’re doing okay

Any thoughts on Antphrodite? He’s fairly popular and I was wondering if there’s anything worthwhile to his videos. I’ve watched some of them and from what I see he mainly does lots of celebrity stuff alongside conspiracy stuff. He apparently got big because he predicted the James Charles drama alongside some other stuff with Britney Spears and Ariana Grande. Idk if I really believe his stuff though but I’m a skeptic of most of this tarot stuff anyways so maybe that’s the reason why

>>10764
I just chanted the enn a couple of times and after a few minutes it happened. I tried doing it recently but it didn't work. I don't remember the date or what time I did it which I think may have played a role. I also meditate a lot. It's like one of those things you need to establish if you want to get on that path.
>I want to try something like that just to see if it would work but I'm not sure if there are risks involved.
There are risks but you can minimize it by protecting yourself. Also are you easily scared? I have saved a bunch of info about dealing with spirits and evocation, down to physical manifestation. I used to browse an old subforum that worked with the 6/7 Book of Moses. It is supposedly really powerful and has a lot of fiery spirits but if you dont know the basics and how to protect yourself, you might get fucked up.

>>10751
I used to hang out in this thread kek
Atm I’m really busy and tired but when I can gather mire energy I want to try spirit flight. I’m a little hesitant because in the past something like meditating made me really dizzy and I had to stop the meditation. Besides that I gathered materials from my local forest to diy a small broom and I’m very excited about that.

>>10780
Let's keep horoscope and Tarot out of the witchcraft thread, shall we?

Is there any sort of spell I can use to kill a moid or at least get them to break up with my friend? He's abusive but she's too stubborn to leave plus she has low self-esteem, so she thinks it's her fault he acts like that as well. Nothing would make me happier than to read that he just wound up dead in a ditch somewhere, but I'll settle for him just being completely out of her life if nothing else