/x/ - /x/

>>10309
Thank you for your reply. Is there a good book that resonates with you especially? One that has emphasis on mother divinity? A lot of books I come across are very masculine.

>>10310
i liked the book by zuzana budapest in the OP under dianic wicca. You'll see I took a lot of inspiration from her. Mary Daly is good too.
The one that most resonated with me and broke me out of the spell of lies was reading the gnostic version of genesis. I had been raised catholic but since very early realized that the god of the bible was evil. It is especially obvious in genesis: the lie that women were borne from man's rib (and not the other way around), the curses the male god places on humanity like flooding the earth or killing innocents in egypt. He is jealous and vengeful. very unlike a creator and more like a usurper trying to control a creation that is not his. Even from a young age it felt like a trick. Reading the gnosic version is much closer to the truth, though i think their conception of material reality as evil is an oversimplification. the thunder perfect mind is a poem from the nag hammadi library, i think, which has a lot of hidden truths.
Unfortunately lots of traditions about the mother divinity were passed down orally, suppressed, eliminated, or assimilated. If you look, youll find fragments of her in your own culture. Take these fragments and follow them. She is not a vengeful goddess, don't worry too much about doing things the perfect way, just do what you can and she will show you the rest. Ask the women in your family, look at the female figures in your religion, or even look to history or mathematics and philosophy. You'll find her.

About the flooding, according to Plato's work Timaeus in ancient times there where many floodings that actually destroyed civilisations and their accumulated knowledge which they where desparate to pass on to the future generations to the point that underground libraries where built like the ones in Egypt.

Can someone recommend me an introductory book?

This interests me but I struggle to believe any of it personally. Can anyone provide me with some evidence or proof that any of the supernatural is real? Or that there's more reason to believe in any of this than standard Christianity or Abrahamic Religions?

>>11971
I believe you can change and regulate small things like that over time by thinking about it hard (like in Dune). Do not look in the mirror for extended periods of time. Just do whatever it takes physically (eg wearing headphones for ears) and mentally to change. As for eyesight, avoid computer screens for a few days and especially when you wake up. Go outside and force yourself to read signs and stuff from afar. Put up a sheet of paper with random characters and try to read from as far as possible; then back up as you get better. You can do this at home. I think the body is much more flexible than most think. Over half of people have glasses; logically, shouldn't they have been culled out over thousands of years? I think they started with good eyesight and their eyes simply adjusted quickly and quasi-permanently when they started reading/going on a computer at a young age. If you force your body to another situation you should be able to reverse. Ofc, and this goes in general to anyone, eat well, drink well, run a couple of times a week and do a few pushups; and most importantly, work intellectually and/or read proper stuff. This changes you as a person (and thus your appearance too).

>>11972
I forgot to add that science actually shows people morphing over the years into their significant one; so such (admittedly slow) change is officially possible given the right context. But we also forget faces quickly. Hence my theory that if you don't look at yourself and strongly focus mentally on changing certain aspects you may be able to change yourself.

>>11972
Thank you for the reply

>wearing headphones for ears

Technically this doesn’t cause permanent change. But with miracles and placebo i guess it could

>>11974

I already hate mirrors :(

>>11896

how old were you then? how old are you now?

i don't believe you actually correlate any of these desires to love. i think you feel like you have to call these, or want to call these violent impulses 'love' to avoid seeing these impulses as what they obviously are: anger, isolation, alienation, and likely a very weak psyche.

it sounds like you don't think many people (if any) love you, including your parents - you probably don't interact with others enough to catch a glimpse of the spectrum of romance/sex/love or whatever - why the correlation to love?

>>11902
>how old were you then?
6-14
>how old are you now?
20s
>i think you feel like you have to call these, or want to call these violent impulses 'love' to avoid seeing these impulses as what they obviously are: anger, isolation, alienation, and likely a very weak psyche.
>why the correlation to love?
i know that those sadistic impulses stem from isolation and abuse and mental illness and whatnot, im not afraid to admit that because its a rather obvious conlusion, i just dont know what else to call them. like sometimes i will feel enamored by a person, i like thinking about them and having them on the backburner of my mind, i like how they look and i find them hot, but instead of wanting to make them happy all i think about is hurting them and i dont have any interest in doing anything else with them, when i stop having a crush on a person i stop wanting to hurt them. thats why i label those experiences as 'love', there just isn't any other catch-all term that describes the type of attachment that i feel

>>11907
NAYRT, but can you give us more insight into your crushes (since you mentioned you don't date)? are you usually friends with the people you've had crushes on? what about fictional/celebrity crushes?

>>11910
>are you usually friends with the people you've had crushes on?
not really. i kind of have a strange relationships with people in general, i dont usually like my friends as people and we talk exclusively about our shared hyperfixations (usually original characters or media) because i dont care about anything else. i talk to them as long as theyre willing to entertain my ideas and so in return i entertain theirs. its transactional to me. with crushes its different, theyre usually the type of person that id never be friends with because theyre usually not the artistic creative types and creating stuff is my only real interest
>what about fictional/celebrity crushes?
i dont get like that about celebs, usually because i dont find them interesting, but i sometimes have those crushes on fictional characters, tho not all of my attractions are fictional

>>11907
You can all but extinguish old/bad memories. That's why in the (((current era))) they keep talking about "opening up" and "embracing emotions" and so on. Because they want you to suffer. Once you've come to terms with what happened and have acknowledged it you can create a new reality; just experience as much as possible (both good books/media and in life) and ignore the old stuff. It'll get suppressed. The human mind is much more flexible and our mental strength more resilient than they'll let you know. It's also nice to have a proper goal in life (ie working towards something concrete and materially relevant).

>>8697
>>11934
Why do you believe that in order to permashift or respawn you first need to die? I never read it was necessary.

>>11944
i see, i'm honestly pretty skeptical when it comes to second-hand accounts like that, anyone could say anything.

>>11949
i would be happiest if there was nothing after death. none of the options given by major religions is satisfying.

>>11964
tbh i don't think it is, however the respawn community i was apart of for years was based on death-based reincarnation. however, it wasn't like you commit suicide then you reincarnate and more like you undergo the spiritual reincarnation first and then your body dies in the way you scripted. either way, i was a depressed teen and thought i wanted to die so i rlly liked the idea.

>>11965
>i would be happiest if there was nothing after death. none of the options given by major religions is satisfying.
I agree that most afterlife ideas have holes in them but non-existence would be the worst. At least if there is something after death there's a way it could all maybe work out even if we can't comprehend it. Nothing after just feels so definitive

To be more in line with the topic of the thread I wonder if some form of quantum immortality is true, there are lots of stories of people who were about to get into head on car collisions yet they walked away completely unharmed with their cars having not even a dent. It's very odd

>>11964
what even is the difference between permashifting and respawning? Arent't they the same (both being shifting with intent to stay in ones desired reality)

>>11969
Respawning is usually coming back to the current timeline as a new person, permashifting is going to a different timeline as the same person

>>11908
I also wouldn't trust men to tripsit, I've seen many men admit that raping someone who's on drugs is their fantasy

>>11876
I had one by accident, I got weed that was laced with it. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Literal hell dimension.

>>11926
Yeah I've heard lots of stories about people who feel like they visited the afterlife and how hellish trips make them never want to die

My theory based on stuff like near death experiences is that they have some underlying issues that causes their negative emotions to flare up and form into a realm/creatures but that's a complete conspiracy and I have no real proof for it honestly. Maybe it's a prison planet or it's just our brains being weird, who knows

>>11929
For me personally it felt very distinctly (don't ask me how I knew, I just did) that I was being trapped in a "punishment dimension" that was made out of every negative thing I ever did or thought or had happen to me, like a culmination of all the negative energy I ever encountered. I'm not spiritual in the slightest, I think it's interesting how drugs have very specific ways to interact with the human brain and I guess this is just what salvia does. I was trapped all alone in the universe knowing I would never have a human experience again like talking to friends or eating, I was fully isolated and removed from a physical body experience, and at the same time I could look around myself (not in the room I was in but drifting through a landscape) and everything was just covered with a thin veneer of normalcy but underneath I could see flesh pulsing. It was awful because I knew I was tripping and thought I had just smoked a normal joint, which wouldn't even get me super stoned usually, so I thought I had fried my brain the way you sometimes hear it with people who develop a weed psychosis or something. So I was 100% aware of what was going on and my only logical conclusion was that I was experiencing locked-in syndrome and wouldn't come out of it. I was visiting my mom at the time, and she woke up somehow and found me wheezing on the ground, when she found me it exacerbated my panic because I was convinced she would have to call an ambulance and they would put me away in a ward for people who broke their brains irreparably. If I had been alone maybe I would have killed myself from the hopelessness of it all.

>>11932
I think it's been proven psychedelics reduce brain activity (or possibly reroute it) so it's very possible you entered some weird realm of your thoughts. Then again some experiences are super random like people fighting with SoundCloud rappers or hallucinating bags of onions talking to them, some accurately produce near death experience results like tunnels, life reviews and seeing deceased loved ones

The funeral industry is exploitative and full of people using society's "don't talk about death" stigma to push Christian shit onto the dead even when they didn't follow that religion. I remember seeing a story of a taoist woman who was given a Catholic themed funeral, it's pretty clear this industry is full of some nasty behavior

>>11930
Relatives alone are responsible for carrying out the last will of the deceased. If relatives fail to do so, getting sent off according to local customs shouldn't come as surprise.

I think I’m biased towards cynicism but I think it’s all over

I'm not sure how nonas find peace in eternal nothingness. I think only having a very shor amount of time to have a chance to experience love, pain, etc any emotion is in itself cruel and unfair. The fact that each person is unique and beautiful (except for 90% of moids) but will inevitably fade away never to be seen again and b e forgotten some day is terrible.

But at the same time i find it hard to believe we just become "nothing". We still don't fully know how sentience works and for all we know this life we have right now is not our sentience's first. Maybe we die and as universe re-births itself so does our sentience. We have a different physical body but the sentience remains. or maybe this is all incorrect…

That's why it's so terrifying, the fact that we don't know. We don't know why the unvierse exists, why the space works like it does. We don't know what it all came from, the planets, the galaxies, and where it will disappear and if it might remake itself. We are just that insignificant

>>10878
Long reply but I have many thoughts. I see both sides because every option scares me. Endless reincarnation fucks me up cuz just imagine all that could/would happen (being born in 3rd world countries in the middle of war, tortured with alien technology on a distant planet, maybe even eventually living the same life again, 1914729938029272 bad lifetimes in a row) or just generally having to live through everything ever imagined. Hell scares me cuz endless torture. Heaven scares me cuz you could be there for an astronomical amount of time and it won’t be any closer to ending and could become psychological torture (look up SCP-7179 if you wanna see more about that). You’re right that never existing again is horrifying as well and I don’t know if I believe something like enlightenment exists like in Eastern religion. I just feel constantly pessimistic, cynical, and nihilistic so maybe that’s why I’m not able to stick to any belief. If our existence is finite then nothing we do matters and will be forgotten if it’s infinite then it doesn’t matter if you were Hitler, an average person, or Junko Furuta because all your actions are finite and don’t even remotely mean anything to an existence that goes on forever though I guess that depends on if you believe in a dualistic or non dualistic religion. I agree it’s all very disorienting and religion doesn’t exactly give the deepest answer for why it is this way. I mean hey if reincarnation is real what will this lifetime matter after the universe dies and rebirths itself trillions of times over? I really don’t know how to get out of this mindset beyond just hoping more people understand it and trying to push it to the back of my head, existential dread is not fun

I’m very scared by the thought of eternity so I feel like it may be eternally torturous no matter what. Imagining going through anything for trillions to googolplexes to Graham’s Numbers of years and beyond and it just never getting a second closer to ending is deeply horrifying. The speech that starts at 1:18 in this video really speaks to me. In terms of what I think may actually happen though, I think death is likely the end because all evidence points us to consciousness being a neurological process but I wish we had evidence that it may not be. Near Death Experiences are interesting but honestly I don’t know if they’re real and they’re pretty inconsistent so even if they are real I don’t think they give any information about what comes after.

Current evidence points to the idea that everything ends but I'd like to believe otherwise, I'm scared by the idea of eternity though

I had a couple. I had a bad infection from a cat scratch on my neck as a kid that had me in the hospital for a while, and I got into a roll-over accident going 105mph. The air time I got felt like an eternity and it still plays in my head when I'm doing really bad

I tried to kill myself a little over a year ago by cutting my wrists. Definitely the closest I've come to dying. Very surreal experience.

>>3185
Not an NDE, but once at PE lesson just when I was about to be hit by the ball, time has literally slowed down for me and I deflected the ball. It was maybe 2 secs at most but for me it was like 5 seconds. Now I know it was an adrenaline burst or something like that.

I had a girl try to drown me when I was 8. She was up on a floaty and I was in the water. She would pull me up by my hair, laugh at me, and then push me back into the water and hold me there. I would thrash around and try very hard to get back to the surface and my brain was just on survival mode. I had no emotions or fear, as I was solely focused on breathing as much as possible when I was let up and attempting to break away. The intervals between her pulling me up and holding me down started getting longer and longer, and it felt like it was going on forever and I couldn't escape. Finally my mom came and ripped her off of me and chewed her the fuck out. It was so strange because minutes before the girl started drowning me, we were just playing games like tag and pretending to be mermaids. I don't know if she was retarded or a psychopath, but my mom always says that the girl had dead, empty eyes and was just staring at her unblinking as she was going off on her.

I had an ectopic pregnancy two years ago. I got pregnant two months after I had my son and I was freaking out. I found out while at the hospital for gallstones and pancreatitis. I immediately knew something was abnormal, because I had been spotting continuously, and I never did that with my son (I had ignored the spotting because I thought it was a weird period, since I had had a baby so recently). After I had gotten the gallstone removed from my bile duct, they sent an OBGYN to my room to talk to me. I mentioned the bleeding, and he said it was "implantation spotting". I asked him if he was sure, since it had been going on for a couple of weeks and was more like streaking than spotting, and he said it was fine (which is bullshit, and implantation spotting takes place way earlier than 8 weeks, which was where I was). Fast forward a few days later, I'm in the shower and have a dull, achy pain in my right pelvic region. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable, but I knew that all the spotting plus one sided pain could mean an ectopic pregnancy. I rush to a different OBGYN, who does an ultrasound and sees no baby in my uterus, but instead in my fallopian tube. I am immediately rushed into surgery, and when I wake up the doctor is in my room, telling me I almost died as I had an insane amount of blood filling my pelvis. I at first was just relieved to be alive, but as time went on, I became very scared of being pregnant again. I was later told by the OBGYN that the pancreatitis had caused foPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Never had one but they may be real. I'm unsure but I'm open to consciousness being able to go beyond the brain or the idea of something like reincarnation. I fear the idea of eternity and I don't know if anything beyond materialism will ever be proven tbh