/x/ - /x/

>>11032
Yes I used AI to help write this. My grammar and writing skills aren't the best. I read my post and totally agree with it

>>11033
What a weakling, you should embrace your typing autism like who cares at the end of the day

>>8859
A lot of women are allergic to caffeine and never know it since it doesn't kill you, it turns you into a neurotic mess that gets diagnosed as something else.

I've bough several microdosing packs of magic truffles and I've decided that I will start tomorrow. I wish I had the money to invest on micology as a serious hobby but I'm grateful to have the possibility to dip my toes on it before spending larger amounts of money. I've never taken meds or bc because I'm a little bit skeptical of the whole thing (irl friends and anons bad experiences have shaped my opinion on that matter) so I'm willing to take the mico route to boost a bit my productivity. I wish I'll have some time during late december to trip on a larger dose of truffles because I miss acid.

bought a "polkadot" chocolate bar from a headshop. it advertises itself as a shroom edible but it actually has 4-aco-dmt in it lol. it was kinda cool but then i gotta crazy nauseous towards the end of the trip. i doubt it was the dmt entirely that made me sick, probably whatever other filler shit they put in those bars. if i had to guess amanita and delta 8 thc or something.

i think i will stick with acid, i just hate how long it lasts.

went to the beach alone it was so foggy i sat alone took so many hits i can hardly remember.
>stared at the ocean thought of my love and i started to cry as i ate my berries while slowdive came on

>>10901
How does one recognize it and how exactly is it different for women? I do believe that's possible since most studies are restricted to using moid groups only but I don't exactly get how caffeine acts differently in the female body.

>>8984
Haro evurinyan, hou aru you?
Fai, sankyu!

Ai wish ai waa a bardo.

If you can see a spirit, it's someone who hasn't fully moved on from their worldly attachments!
If you fully move on and rejoin the All, you lose your individuality for a bit .. to be one with Everything.
A spirit with a full body is held back by something.

>>10403
>lose your individuality
on my way

Spirits are formless. They don't "look" like anything because they are beyond the field of vision. If you are to imagine a spirit, imagine a thin layer of silk spread evenly over the entirety of space time. Spirits exist everywhere at all times. They're neither here nor there. Spirits are immaterial; they aren't tied to the physical realm. Your mother was right in that spirits appear like bodies of water; meaning, like liquids, they take the shape of the containers that hold them. When there is no containers, they overflow across the material realm. Spirits can appropriate the forms that they have seen in life, but those are like crass impersonations and don't hold weight. In your mind, imagine a great big ocean, but the ocean has no borders nor landmasses, it's just endless water. Now imagine all that has existed and all that will exist is held within the confines of that ocean. That is what the spirit is.

I always imagined them as just light orbs that can take on any shape or form they desire. Unless there is some kind of metaphysical gender for them but I doubt it

>>8999
Karlyn Borysenko in picrel vibes, new age/new thought is so weird. And kinda nihilistic when you really get into it.

>>9018
Mormons and new agers/thoughters believe you do because pre-birth/post-death you’re infinitely smarter and do it for a higher spiritual purpose. It walks a line between “ok that kinda makes sense” and spiritual bypassing, idk if I believe it cuz there’s so many NDEs that say its true and technically any finite suffering doesn’t mean anything for an eternal existence, I hope it’s not true though, it’s so nihilistic.

>>10528
You can just say you think they’re omnipresent, sounds a lot like Nirvana is what you’re describing imo

Yes, but not the gray/green human-like or very intelligent aliens, I believe in another living creatures (like unicellular organisms, or bacteria or ant-like creature) in space or out of the milky way even.

No.

Yes. what do you nonas think about the "underwater aliens" thing?

>>10910
I think aliens are probably real somewhere out there, whether or not they’ve been to Earth is a completely different story. There may be aliens in the water but I saw the Blaire White video about aliens where it was mentioned it could just be that humans aren’t the only evolved species on Earth and I think there’s a good chance of that being the truth. I think NHI/Non Human Intelligence is a better term than aliens

I hope it's lights out and that's it. I do not want a afterlife, I do not believe in heaven or in hell. That's all just weird psyops created to control the masses.
I used to want to be isekai so badly when I was younger. I tried reality shifting before that had a name and a trend on tiktok, but it never worked and I always woke up.
I'd always hoped to wake up in a better life were I would be loved and cherished.
Now I am glad there is nothing because living once is painful enough.

>>5965
beautiful

I think I’m biased towards cynicism but I think it’s all over

I'm not sure how nonas find peace in eternal nothingness. I think only having a very shor amount of time to have a chance to experience love, pain, etc any emotion is in itself cruel and unfair. The fact that each person is unique and beautiful (except for 90% of moids) but will inevitably fade away never to be seen again and b e forgotten some day is terrible.

But at the same time i find it hard to believe we just become "nothing". We still don't fully know how sentience works and for all we know this life we have right now is not our sentience's first. Maybe we die and as universe re-births itself so does our sentience. We have a different physical body but the sentience remains. or maybe this is all incorrect…

That's why it's so terrifying, the fact that we don't know. We don't know why the unvierse exists, why the space works like it does. We don't know what it all came from, the planets, the galaxies, and where it will disappear and if it might remake itself. We are just that insignificant

>>10878
Long reply but I have many thoughts. I see both sides because every option scares me. Endless reincarnation fucks me up cuz just imagine all that could/would happen (being born in 3rd world countries in the middle of war, tortured with alien technology on a distant planet, maybe even eventually living the same life again, 1914729938029272 bad lifetimes in a row) or just generally having to live through everything ever imagined. Hell scares me cuz endless torture. Heaven scares me cuz you could be there for an astronomical amount of time and it won’t be any closer to ending and could become psychological torture (look up SCP-7179 if you wanna see more about that). You’re right that never existing again is horrifying as well and I don’t know if I believe something like enlightenment exists like in Eastern religion. I just feel constantly pessimistic, cynical, and nihilistic so maybe that’s why I’m not able to stick to any belief. If our existence is finite then nothing we do matters and will be forgotten if it’s infinite then it doesn’t matter if you were Hitler, an average person, or Junko Furuta because all your actions are finite and don’t even remotely mean anything to an existence that goes on forever though I guess that depends on if you believe in a dualistic or non dualistic religion. I agree it’s all very disorienting and religion doesn’t exactly give the deepest answer for why it is this way. I mean hey if reincarnation is real what will this lifetime matter after the universe dies and rebirths itself trillions of times over? I really don’t know how to get out of this mindset beyond just hoping more people understand it and trying to push it to the back of my head, existential dread is not fun

nightmares about being sold into sex slavery, being naked in public, people mocking my body and calling me a whore. Never experienced this kinda trauma but ever so often I have sexually traumatic dreams. Also had a few nightmares about my mom dying.

>>10904
I feel you, sis. Me too

I’ve had a few bad dreams. I used to have a lot of dreams about school shootings when I was in school, they started maybe when I was 13 or so. As I got older I’d usually just die in them, or respawn like it was some video game. I had a bad dream about waiting in line for food at a restaurant once, and a strange man was in front of me. I said something to him and he became angry, and he turned around and lifted me up by the throat and started to choke me out. I saw his face morph from a stranger to my dad’s face and I woke up soon after that. I’ve also had a dream or two about my dad assaulting me which also made me feel disgusting as soon as I woke up. My dad would never do that to me, those dreams were happening when he was being emotionally and verbally abusive, I was very angry at him and bottled it up so that’s where those dreams came from.

I’m going to just spoiler the rest since it has to do with trauma.
By far the worst dreams I’ve ever had are about CSA. My little sister suffered abuse from family members but I didn’t find out until about two or three years ago and it fucked me up. A little before that I found out my dad also suffered from CSA when he was a child. With my sister it was COCSA from cousins. They were about 4 years old at the time but they still did things to her. When one of them was maybe 9 or 10 years old he tried to touch me too. I was a couple of years older than him (I was probably around 12) but he was on top of me. We haven’t seen them in years and frankly I don’t know what I’d do to them if I ever saw them again. Finding out about that really fucked with me. I still feel kind of guilty even though it wasn’t anyone’s fault. I didn’t know it was happening. I was a child too.

I think that’s when those dreams started. I really don’t want to go into detail but one of them was so bad that I think I became lucid in it. When they happen it’s like the dream is being projected in my brain and I’m forced to watch. I vividly remember begging it to stop, begging myself to wake up and to make the dream stop because I didn’t want to watch. I knew it was a dream, but my brain was forcing me to watch. I ended up waking up, feeling absolutely disgusting. I briefly thought about killing myself. I felt absolutely disgusting. It was incredibly disturbing, and it felt more disturbing since my mind had just made it up. I remember that it was an infPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Most of them end up being so horrible that I have to consciously force myself to forget about them and as a result, a lot of the details have been lost but some off the top of my head:
>Raped by family member
>Random dog mauled and dismembered violently in front of me
>Younger sister about to get kidnapped by 2 creepy guys
I can't remember the last time I had a pleasant dream and I hate it

>>10880
I’ve dreamed about slow and painful ways to die so much. Wonder if it’s past lives or something (tho I don’t rlly know how much I believe in stuff like that)? I also dream about discovering people in my family are incestuous, people/children or animals being sexually abused and that’s gross but they usually leave my head pretty quick but it disturbs me knowing shit like that it actually real and happening out there plus some are so vivid I still remember them

I had a really long dream about some actor/director/manager guy in this comfy worn-down city between some mountains, the sunlight was always nice. He was a funny guy, a scumbag, a jerk, an asshole, probably a rapist and murderer, etc. He spent the whole dream walking around town, meeting friends, having meetings, arranging gigs, going to parties, etc. He went up in the air in a blimp made by a genius kid who was doing props for a set. He offered to make the kid rich, he was rly generous with people. Then I think he was going to go to a sex party or something.

At the end of the dream, before the party, NOT at the party, I was showed up. We talked. He made it clear that this dream was a view of his life, his real life somewhere else, and was not about me, there was nothing here about me. I appreciated that clarification, so as dream-controller, right before I phased out, I "snapped my fingers" and made sure he had a really great sex party and got a couple hot twink boyfriends and made some extra good business deals or whatever.

I feel like someone drew a sigil and it happened to connect to me, like I was a demon in some other reality for five minutes once. I've been watching too many silly spiritual videos on yt.

The city was really nice though, very real feel. It had that nostalgic feeling, like it was worse than before, but still somehow as good as when you were a kid. Always sunset, sunrise, the roads and buildings were old, but plants always grew in the cracks. Th mountains really hugged the town. Idk. Strangely pleasant dream for how evil some of it was.

>>10437
> I was showed up.
Godddddd I hate how I jump around when I type anything long.

I heard a voice saying "Hey, health obsessed girl." I paused and then replied "Who, me?" The voice responded "No, you're white trash girl." Then I woke up.

Super weird one from a few nights ago actually, this one had me wake up in a cold sweat

>Sitting in livingroom of my apartment, talking on my phone to I believe my sister
>"Can a loved one fall for a skinwalker's voice?" I ask her, to which she responds with, "They are almost exactly like you from far away but the closer you get to them, the more you can see that something is just not right."
>a few moments later
>I hear my own voice coming from my son's room
>It is me cooing or baby-talking my 4 year old son, the door is open but I cannot bring myself to look in,
>I can tell that something is not right
>I peek in, the skinwalker or mimic or whatever doesn't see or hear me.
>my son is asleep but it looks exactly like my mom except bald
>it is still talking to him like he is awake and playing it's very bizarre, he is just lying there.
for context, I could tell the thing in my dream was not a future me or my mom it was just some sort of malevolent entity that was horribly imitating me and looked like my mom
In real life my mother is a drug addict who horribly abused me, I thought maybe this dream was my fears of becoming like her manifested in a weird nightmare.

had a dream where me and a friend were gonna go to an event in our local big city where they were having an Ensemble Stars event at a local café. I thought it was cool… but when we stepped into the café, we didn't see a single character from enstars at the event. Instead, it was ran by a lot of realistic furries that kinda looked like picrel. I was thinking in my head "maybe they're enstars furries!" in the dream, while my friend was so disappointed at what we ended up finding. Idk shit about shit about enstars, that's more of my friend's thing, but I just thought it was really funny.

I’m a flat earther but I think space would be cool if it were real. It really has the best urban legends. Like Voyager 1 being possessed and spamming gibberish. Black knight satellite conspiracy, lost cosmonauts, dark side of the moon, etc.

Neurowarfare absolutely exists and it’s likely that the government can already read minds. Just look at what’s commercially available right now, with many people saying they get ads for things they’ve only thought about, it’s not imagined or coincidental. Another logical conclusion (though not necessarily true) is that a great way to make the public think the government can’t successfully fuck with people's minds is to make sure that all the ridiculous and embarrassing failures get leaked and publicized widely and make it a bit of an embarrassing laughing stock, while making sure no-one hears of the successes. Just think about how much was redacted from the MKULTRA stuff.

>>10922
people bring up MKUltra as if it's not 36 years away from being 100 years old LOLE like get with the times old man… thjey're already readinog your mind and fucking with youyr brain to the point you beciome part of the hive bnefre you can even resist, All WIRELESSLY

I wholeheartedly believe that African swine fever virus was manufactured in labs for pork industry, so pork producers could easily get rid of each other.
ASF kills pigs very quickly, is highly contagious, there's no vaccines against it, but humans are not affected by this shit at all, which is really weird, because a lot of zoonotic diseases can spread to humans easily. Also there are no close relatives of ASF virus, it doesn't belong to any known family of viruses.
As I said, there's no vaccines, serums and drugs against it, so the only decision is to kill pigs as quickly as possible, burn the pig farm down and quarantine workers for few months. I worked on pig farm belonging to one huge company (in my country) and it's known fact, that they get rid of smaller farms by bringing ASF virus on them, so smaller farms have no choice but to kill all pigs.
Also, because of risk of infecting ASF, pig farms have complex system of biosecurity that allows a great control over workers, even outside of the farm. From my example, we were prohibited to eat pork from other companies, because long time ago they contracted ASF and therefore their production could be dangerous. Because of biosecurity we had to work in space, isolated from big world, we couldn't bring any means of communication with us (phones, computers, etc.), we had no idea what happened outside, we couldn't go away from our work places, even during emergency, we were completely stuck and isolated. We couldn't bring even our clothes, we had to bath together and wear shitty factory clothes. If something happened to us, no one would know.
And of course, ASF biosecurity protocols don't allow any trespassers, so it's very hard to get on pig farm unless you're its worker. I think, it was done, to prevent any sort of vegans and animal right activists from visiting farms, because if wide masses saw what happens on pig farms daily, they would stop consuming pork in a minute. But they don't see it and wicked cycle repeats itself.

>>10977
i hate humanity & animal agriculture so much it's fucking unreal

>>10975
You understand the MK Ultra was only brought up because of the redactions that were in the release, right? Maybe next time you post you could add a little bit more content instead of just self-aggrandizement.

>>10977
All the pig farms have been on in the US have been pretty good on caretaking, but they are extremely biosecure. I never saw any mistreatments of the pigs or anything. But I have the same feelings about the avian flu. The only difference is that they use avian flu to go after backyard chicken keepers and I don't know if ASF is used to punish small swine production. Maybe because it's less common?

There has never a case of chickens catching avian flu from wild birds, but many backyard flocks were euthanized because of the belief that they had avian flu. There's only recently been a case of a human catching Avian flu, and he was like 65 years old with comorbidities. I really think it's just to make sure people don't produce their own food from healthier flocks and happier chickens.

>>4152
The only time I shoplifted was around the age of 10. For a couple of weeks, my friend and I would pocket these cheap packs of candy we loved from the little gas station within walking distance. No one explicitly talked to us but one day when we walked in there there were suddenly new and very visible security cameras. We took that as a sign to stop.
I'm glad I didn't escalate further or get caught. I don't think the law would have done much to me at that age, but still.

For a while I used to fill up my bag with $100+ worth of meats, etc. and pay for a few of the cheap items so as to not arouse suspicion. The bag I use has a compartment at the bottom that I can fit small items into without changing the appearance of the bag, and I always take advantage of that.
I often buy multiples when it comes to products and clothing. If I know I'll easily get away with it, I'll take a reasonable number and only pay for one.
Many years ago I had a Nigel who supported my shoplifting habits, we often stole food together and cooked beautiful meals. When we were together I was more opportunistic and often stole small things like makeup brushes and skincare products from department stores.
I've never been caught. Only people with a shifty/antisocial vibe get caught.

When I was 11 I stole earrings and hair accessories in a mall and tried jumping the counter to get food on the same run. I got the cops called on me. Never stolen since.

I steal ewaste from work all the time because they just throw perfectly good things away whenever. If it can fit in my backpack and it’s on the disposal pile, it’s coming home with me. Not especially expensive items, but some of them have been pretty useful. I have a really ancient spinny 1TB hard drive that I’m using for file backup. I just consider it recycling. You can’t even dumpster dive this stuff because they put it through some kind of grinder, you have to get it before it goes to the grinder. We’re moving to a new building soon and if it has CCTV, I guess I’ll stop.

used to all the time from big stores. loss prevention at most of these places now is wayyyy too serious for me to want to try anymore. not worth becoming a felon for multiple instances of pety theft.

went to the grocery store recently and accidentally put something in the bagging area that i didn't scan at self check out. immediately the machine started beeping and then played a recording from above of me putting the item in the bagging area… along with exactly what item it was. scared me straight for now lol