/x/ - /x/

I would like a blessing

I would like to get a job, soon
I would like to find love
I would like to get out of here

>>8311
i would like to be blessed with a man i find attractive who loves me so much he skins me alive and wears me so i don't have to feel the pain of existing anymore.

Please bless me with a rhinoplasty soon. I really want one but I can't afford it right now

I would like to get a blessing for my summer work trip, so it would interesting, enjoyable and memorable (and so I would have to eat during it, it is important for as for genetically sick person)

I wish for 4plebs and archive.moe to be permanently taken offline.

52.479761, 62.185661

>>1212
I'm just focusing on the bear-head shaped outline of the island when I noticed a pentagram on the other island

>>1213
looks more like a rhino with its horn cut off

>what's the worst nightmare you've had

This.

Trump becoming president but then realizing that is was worse than it looked because that thing isn't even Trump, it's a fucking Jim Henson animatronic puppet remotely controlled by dominionist Christian nationalists. Go ahead, call it a cope if you must, but I refuse to believe this is really happening.

I had a life threatening surgery a long time ago. After I got home from the hospital I started to develop sleep apnea dreams. My worst one was a reoccurring nightmare where an entity would rape my ass

This dream could happen multiple times a night and I could feel the pain of my ass being split open every time

>>10880
The one where everyone I love dies by randomly melting and where I get holes in my body that expand and I know I'll also die.
Or the one where my grandpa raped me even though I like him and I know he'd never do that and I've never even viewed him sexually and barely see him, he's a good person, why the hell did I dream that.
Or the one where I beat a child and I couldn't stop beating the shit out of it, that poor damn kid was crying and I couldn't stop, I felt so disgusted with myself, I was so fucking horrified, I'd never actually hurt a child, wtf was that dream…

>>10909
Being sold into sexual slavery is probably my greatest fear.

People tell me this was sleep paralysis but i wasnt in my room when i was dreaming this or even a room i recognised.
The dream wasnt that bad but for what felt like hours the most ugly spider was crawling up my arm slowly, so slowly i didnt even know it was moving until i watched it unblinking. As soon as it reached my shoulder it dug its fangs into my arm and i woke up in serious pain. My heart rate was going 240+ min it hurt to breathe

I used to swear a lot when I was young

Damn you are fucked up I have never done anything bad

>>4763
I physically abused my sister growing up

used to lie excessively and spread rumors as teenager

Bullied someone to the point of killing themselves and relishing that fact still 13 years later

>>10107
Same. Well mine turned into full blown split personality.

I experienced despersonalization for an entire day once but with flu medication. It was so thrilling I wish I could have it again. I was able to feel like a completely different person, seeing mundane things and situations like it was the first time I experienced them

The closes thing I had was that all my life until the last years or so I had this strange feeling of only living in first person and never thinking of myself as a thing that exist or is perceived, the only thing close to that was continuous deep fear in my bones of accidentally making a mistake and upsetting somebody, like what if my voice slipped and accidentally talked louder than I am supposed to, what if I don't help my parents properly with a thing and I accidentally ruin it, what if I brake something, what if I accidentally say something stupid and I earn a slap to the face so hard my whole cheek feels numb and I don't feel my skin and flesh in that region of the face only bone, looking back at it, I was a bit of a overly melodramatic oversensitive kid

>>10106
Don't be a junkie.

>>10106
I've gotten that, but not from weed. Just from severe trauma and flashbacks.
I spent almost my entire childhood in a dissociative state and then I had a really hard time getting to terms with learning that I wouldn't actually disappear into thin air somehow and had to live in the real world as an actual person who'd have to be an adult and everything…
Maybe I'm too used to dissociating, but I don't think it's all bad, it's only scary if I feel like I can't snap out of it, but that's never really happened to me before, if I couldn't snap out of it it was always because a big part of me just really didn't want to… Or when you're terrified and go completely mute and stuff, it's not that I want to talk, I just want to be left alone so that I can hide under my blanket, hug my plushies and feel safe again.
I got that dissociative empty feeling when I took laughing gas at the dentist, but I wasn't really worried about it, I was just glad that I didn't have to worry about the procedure as much and I felt normal again after the laughing gas effect dissipated. I wouldn't use it recreationally though, because I know that if I really need to dissociate, my body will do that on its own. I just kinda trust in it and hopefully I won't really need to do it and can just be myself and happy as a full person, even if it's hard sometimes.
I think hyperarousal is the worst though… I looked up some things to snap out of it because unlike with a dissociative state, I really can't stand this stress for more than a minute, it just drives me nuts and I really really don't want to wait for it to go away on its own, it sucks so damn much, I'd rather scratch my skin open or hopefully have mints or chilli to eat on hand because that kind of stuff really helps with it

I wholeheartedly believe that African swine fever virus was manufactured in labs for pork industry, so pork producers could easily get rid of each other.
ASF kills pigs very quickly, is highly contagious, there's no vaccines against it, but humans are not affected by this shit at all, which is really weird, because a lot of zoonotic diseases can spread to humans easily. Also there are no close relatives of ASF virus, it doesn't belong to any known family of viruses.
As I said, there's no vaccines, serums and drugs against it, so the only decision is to kill pigs as quickly as possible, burn the pig farm down and quarantine workers for few months. I worked on pig farm belonging to one huge company (in my country) and it's known fact, that they get rid of smaller farms by bringing ASF virus on them, so smaller farms have no choice but to kill all pigs.
Also, because of risk of infecting ASF, pig farms have complex system of biosecurity that allows a great control over workers, even outside of the farm. From my example, we were prohibited to eat pork from other companies, because long time ago they contracted ASF and therefore their production could be dangerous. Because of biosecurity we had to work in space, isolated from big world, we couldn't bring any means of communication with us (phones, computers, etc.), we had no idea what happened outside, we couldn't go away from our work places, even during emergency, we were completely stuck and isolated. We couldn't bring even our clothes, we had to bath together and wear shitty factory clothes. If something happened to us, no one would know.
And of course, ASF biosecurity protocols don't allow any trespassers, so it's very hard to get on pig farm unless you're its worker. I think, it was done, to prevent any sort of vegans and animal right activists from visiting farms, because if wide masses saw what happens on pig farms daily, they would stop consuming pork in a minute. But they don't see it and wicked cycle repeats itself.

>>10977
i hate humanity & animal agriculture so much it's fucking unreal

>>10975
You understand the MK Ultra was only brought up because of the redactions that were in the release, right? Maybe next time you post you could add a little bit more content instead of just self-aggrandizement.

>>10977
All the pig farms have been on in the US have been pretty good on caretaking, but they are extremely biosecure. I never saw any mistreatments of the pigs or anything. But I have the same feelings about the avian flu. The only difference is that they use avian flu to go after backyard chicken keepers and I don't know if ASF is used to punish small swine production. Maybe because it's less common?

There has never a case of chickens catching avian flu from wild birds, but many backyard flocks were euthanized because of the belief that they had avian flu. There's only recently been a case of a human catching Avian flu, and he was like 65 years old with comorbidities. I really think it's just to make sure people don't produce their own food from healthier flocks and happier chickens.

>>9211
kek

>>386
I think conspiracy theories are interesting and funny like "what if" stories, like the Dresden Files, but only as long as nobody gets hurt…
I hate the thought that some people take the reptilian thing seriously, or the UFO pyramid stuff and whatever. The concept of reptilian people sounds so cool, like in fantasy stories and the sort of interspecies romance books I like to read, yet, some insist on making it a euphemism for juice or whatever else they're rallying against, it's disgusting.
If I met a snake man, I'd wanna know if he has two dicks and not assume that he's secretly part of some secret society that has magical powers or whatever. And if snake men with two dicks existed, they absolutely would show it off, there's no doubt in my mind that if any of that was real, we'd have really good evidence for it.
Instead, it often just boils down to the invisible demon in your room, you can't see it, you can't touch it, it supposedly does things that coincidentally could be done by the cat and there's just no way to prove its existence because it can also control your mind to forget it and it's also indestructible or whatever and just… It's just so damn ludicrous. And then people pretend like the demon went to possess the cat when it was just running around and acting goofy and boom, dead cat, thanks for nothing conspiracy nuts. Like yeah, it's good to question things, but you actually have to find ways to verify your conjecture and think about how the world would be different if what you're imagining just isn't true at all. What if aliens didn't build the pyramids? Then people did it. Is that unlikely? No, humans can build pyramids, why wouldn't they have built them thousands of years ago? It sounds like a cool project, humans love making cool stuff.
I don't think there's any conspiracy theories I really believe in, like, sure, I'll have my doubts about some things and entertain possibilities but I'll need some good evidence that isn't debunked 100 times over and it should actually make some sense and not just hint at someone having made it up just to be racist, to sell their books and merch or whatever agenda they were following.
Like, some things just align with the kind of world we live in. Yes, doctors do try to sell you unnecessary surgeries to make more money, there's plenty of evidence for it and yeah, there's a lot of corruption aroPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I did LSD, ketamine, 2cb, ritalin, vyvanse, mdma, zolpidem, weed, xanax, pregabalin, and quetiapine.

LSD (idk dosage, used only once) - took longer to kick in than I thought, I was laughing all the time and I had these stereotypical visuals that I always saw on the web, buildings were waving (I was outside most of the time), I saw strange colors, shapes and patterns. Sometimes I dozed off with my eyes open and thought that I was somewhere else. I felt like I had wider vision. Overall I was very happy and energetic but still didn't lost control over the situation. Pretty cool experience.

Ketamine (idk dosage - rather small - 2/3 times) - when I looked down it was like if I was a little taller than I am. I felt somewhat unreal, and like if I was walking on clouds. It also felt like I had wider vision. Cool to chill. Still, the effect was very subtle, but I wouldn't like to try larger doses.

2cb (idk dosage - was too much, used only once) - worst mistake of my life regarding drugs. I took too much and I thought that I would have a heart or an anxiety attack, had to lie down in complete darkness and count the lights on the ceiling to calm myself down and wait till it stops. I wondered if I will have to call an ambulance. Never fucking again, even if I was to try it in a small dosage, also because I'm not interested in this substance at all.

ritalin (methylphenidate) (5-20mg, used quite often) - was working good for a very long time (like a year and a half), finally I could focus, work, and finish every task I either had been given or I wanted to do but could't bring myself to do it before. Enjoyed it very much. Used mainly to do hobbies, learn, and read books. Doesn't really have recreational use to me.
I think that extended release of this drug is better than instant release.

vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine) (~25mg, used often) - same as for ritalin, just works a lot better. Extended release works longer. Preferred over ritalin, makes me a little less irritable.

mdma (idk dosage - probably a little too much, used only once) - I don't remember it that good but I know I wasn't enjoying it. I kinda didn't want to take it but tried it anyway (social setting). I took too much, I was sweating and I was uncomfortably energized. Can't really say much about it since I was negative about it from the start and didn't prepare to do it at all.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I ate two marijuana cookies once and what I saw and heard made me vow to never touch the stuff ever again. And I know some of you are going to laugh at me and say it's all a LARP but I don't care – this is what happened:

I was watching The Andy Griffith Show when the dope started to kick in. I began to hear this faint singing that I can only liken to the songs humpback whales make, though it was much more beutiful.

The sound gets louder until I close my eyes and SEE these beautiful creatures that look as if they are composed of pure light — dazzling, kaleidoscopic, evincing all the colors of the rainbow and then some. I don't know how, but I sensed that these things were gargantuan in size. They were not even vaguely human, not in form and certainly not in mind — but they were majestic in their immensity as well as horrific in their indifference. It took me a few moments after taking all that in before I realized where I was: I was in the sky, high in the sky – like, the thermosphere at least and these great leviathans of light were there with me seemingly unaware of my presence.

They continued to sing their siren songs as I saw something rise up from the surface of the earth. As it got closer I discerned that it was a group of things – perhaps a flock of birds. By the time I realized what they really were it was too late to warn them. They were people, human souls, and the light-whale things were EATING them. They were sucking these human souls into their gullet as if they were nothing but plankton. As they were vacuumed in I could simultaneously feel the terror of the prey and the savage, ravenous satisfaction of the predators as they fed. It was then that I, too, began to feel myself succumbing to the their gravity, and with all my horror I WILLED myself to return to my body.

There was a painful sensation, almost like whiplash, and I found myself back in my trailer watching Andy Griffith. I was totally sober.

Never again.

>>11276
I believe you , some people have incredible reactions to weed that most don't. I'm glad you made it back to reality.

I love Ketamine! I hope I get my ketamine today :D

I've only done weed, shrooms and acid
Weed was really nice at first, made me feel really giggly and everything seemed funnier so I used to do it while doomscrolling but my tolerance seemed build up extremely quick where after a few months it was basically the same as being drunk which I kinda don't like so I gave it up.
Did shrooms once and didn't really enjoy it. The only thing I've been on where I just felt "drugged"
Acid was fucking incredible, best thing I've ever done and it was still a huge disappointment. I took it for the visuals cause I thought it might help my art, didn't really but the feeling of it, I've never felt as at peace and comfortable in my body as I was on acid. It made doing anything feel nice. It was during the fall and it was kinda cool and crisp outside and I could not explain to you nonas how good the wind felt against my skin. I really want to do acid again, probably do a higher dose since my lack of visuals was most likely from underdosing, a common issue for acid I hear.
Also don't listen to people who say you NEED a tripsitter, I did alone cause extremely asocial and I was fine, I know doing it with someone would've fucked me up. If you don't think you need someone you probably don't.