>>94828
thank you nona, you're very sweet and wise. i'll look vaginismus up and try to fix this problem
<3

i've had a bf for 4 years now and we never sexed cuz im too scared to and maybe we will never ever sex at all

>>94893
What're you scared about?

>>94893
What the fresh fuck are those shingles? I guess your boyfriend is fine with it? That's pretty neat if true.

I feel the same way. All my friends are in relationships and I cant even bring myself to be in one anymore because of trauma of being so badly mistreated even tho I crave one. I just want to feel loved, the loneliness is unbearable.

>>94887
Yes, we asked her because it was really inappropriate timing and she told us that they would have little 'therapy sessions' time to time in their gc w another friend that was invited but was sick, but his vents were never that serious. She also revealed it was the sick friend who accidentally let slip we were having a sleepover. It makes me even think that he decided on the timing just to ruin our time.

>>94903
Commiserating gets nothing done. I respect your friend's honesty and wouldn't full on blame the guy but if you ask me people, often men, will take what they can in terms of what they vent. I hear women complain about being "free therapy" for guys but frankly you can always tell them to shut up. The concept of ethics that many people operate under today thinking they must be courteous all the time is misguided. That being said, nona, it seems like you're reading too much into the situation

>>94877
>he'll never find a partner
when scrotes "vent" this is usually all it boils down to lmfao. they sure like using a lot of words and mental gymnastics just to say they wish they could be having sex rn.

>>94864
that never happened loser

>>94877
If this guy were capable of being quiet about his problems he would have male friends. Moids who join predominantly female friend groups do so because they are defective and don't get along with their male peers.

OP here I'm not pregnant and probably won't be for a while. Husband is upset with me for something literally from before I wake up until after I go to sleep. He hasn't fixed his sleep schedule despite having no excuses not to so hd waks md up regularly at 5 am because he needs hrlp cleaning somd "mess" he's created in his mind. He's pretty much drunk or not feeling well all the time and he always tries to make it my fault. He's gone back to insisting on whispering in the morning even though we have concrete walls and only one neighbor. He's gone back to insisting I'm not allowed to cook or even get fucking rice for myself at home.

In return for doing all the chores snd following his he's supposed to be doing the "difficult" things but he can't wakeup in time to go to the bank or evdn make it to the electronics store in time to buy a fucking laundry machine (so I have to spend half of one of my days off at the laundromat) of fridge.

He will be on my insurance soon. If he doesn't use it to at least see a councilor I'm giving up. I csn't do more. I literally ask him "If you hate me so much why are wd living together? Why did you marry me?" withoit malice…I just don't understand. He just gets mad and tells me not to change the subjdct. I don't get it.

>>94799
SOrry for more typos than usual I'm just frustrated.

>>94799
Please do not waste more time with him. Just leave him. Please, I beg you.

>>94799
He married you because you're special. Few women would let a man treat her like he treats you. You think it's easy to find an absolute doormat that cleans for you, pays for your shit, takes as much abuse as you want to give, and does EVERYTHING you want? A Japanese women would have her family to support her, but sis you are alone. It's unlikely that he will ever find someone as vulnerable as you.

you guys actually believe any of this? LOL

>>94879
Yeah, I wasn't kidding when I say it makes me that seething and mad sometimes, when I draw. I refuse to be a full-time artist, I go to university to focus on my career. There used to be times I used to find drawing really fun and rewarding though. That's why I'm debating on whether I should give it up or keep at it.
I will admit that ever since discovering social medias in english that it stopped being fun for me fast. Art feels like a "competition" now, and it's so hard to find casual, comfy art communities. It's all fishing for compliments and sob stories and shit.

I wish DeviantArt was still a good website because then I'd post there daily without issues. But now, it's become a shithole cause of the new layout, so I dunno. I thought for the longest time, frustration like what I experience was normal, but if it isn't, yeah, perhaps I should reconsider….

>>94880
What if someone made a daily or weekly draw thread on cc? That could be comfy.

>>94880
You don't have to give up on art altogether as a hobby. You could always switch mediums, experiment with new things, etc. You could try sculpting or computer modeling instead. The list is endless.

/ic/ scrotes are retards. Have you seen the shit they praise there? Ignore them.

>>94881
Hey, I'd love that. It'd actually give me a purpose to draw. I was gonna participate in /v/'s drawthreads, but they're so full of botshit and some retards ended up deleting like 10 years of work in boorus. So I just didn't bother anymore.

>>94882
That's a good idea…. I've mostly just been trying the same pencil or digital art technique over and over. I do have some other supplies on the side I can definitely try using. I used to experiment with fountain pens a lot back then.

>>94885
Thanks a lot for this advice, too. I have a really bad knee right now, and I have been trying to tackle the pain with changing my diet. I actually have an extremely terrible diet, and I sometimes get periods of constant vomiting of acid (I think it's how it's called in english), which feels horrible. Back then I used to also be really active and exercise, but with my fucked knee I can't do that for a while, lol.
From what I understand, bigu is a specific diet? For forgottenlanguages, apparently the blogspot blog is closed. Could you give me a link to that or tell me more about it? I could only find a youtube channel.

>>94889
ngl, I found it weird that they were bashing the ever living fuck out of my art, but weird moids would post foot fetish giantess shit, and they let that slide, or even praised it. I'm not saying that my art is any good or perfect, but I found that really odd. I also drew a furry piece in there once, and it didn't get a single ounce of criticism. I think what I ended up doing was that I drew a well liked character in the board "wrong" in their eyes, and that's what stirred their shit.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I feel a bit better now, actually!

>>94816
At some point you're going to have to give him an ultimatum to either improve his mental health or lose you. But also, if he's already refusing to get therapy than forcing him to go likely won't help. Therapy is only useful if the person doing it actually wants to improve themselves. It's not a cure all where you'll magically be happy and healthy again after a month.
It's not right to feel like you're walking on eggshells in a relationship. Your own mental health is just as important.

>>94841
moids will just lie in therapy and have the therapist enabled them, although even the most well-adjusted women can come out of therapy a husk of a person with a slew of problems only the therapist projected onto them. I wish how damaging bad therapy is was more widely discussed.

>>94862
>>94855
>>94850
>>94826
Do any of u even have experience with depression??? Do you know how hard it is to literally want to kill yourself 24/7???? Pls try and be nice to him op

>>94876
I'm speaking from first-hand experience.
It feels so shitty to bring down other people with you because they're you're only support network but you refused to get help for years because change is too scary and I'm sure OP's bf feels a similar way. At some point you just have to force yourself to take steps to get better or you just keep digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole that gets harder and harder to climb out of and eventually people get sick of dealing with your shit and drop you because they spent years putting up with your depressed ass only out of pity.

I am in a similar situation trying to hold on. I have my own problems too but his have been out of control in the last few months due to family tragedy. You need to evaluate the situation; is it worth sticking around? Do you see him ever improving his mental health and improving your relationship? Is he making an effort to get better Or is it always going to be like this? How much does he drag you down?
It might not be something you can get through with him.
>>94876
OP does not owe him anything, she does not have to sacrifice her happiness for his benefit, because the thing is, is that he is going to be depressed whether she is around or not, and being with him is dragging her down. If he doesn't try and improve himself, then he isn't going to get better, and there is no point in her sacrificing herself for him. No matter how nice she is, niceness does not cure depression, you can't fix people who don't try and fix themselves.

I've been trying to stop looking at it for such a long time.
Porn is so awful for everyone involved the "performers" and the masturbators, I wish it were just illegal.

I've stopped watching porn for months now due to ethical reasons, as a consequence now when I'm using my imagination my scenarios have become more and more degenerate in order to get off like I used to, has it happened to anyone else here? I feel kinda bad about it

>>94825
Why don't you just enter a relationship with a fat girl and have regular sex with her? Most people only date people they're attracted to, you're not objectifying anyone by dating women you find attractive.

>>94825
i agree with the nona above, although i do believe that porn exposure and trauma can "switch" our sexuality, so it is indeed a possibility that under normal circumstances you wouldn't have developed this taste. but you should just go ahead and do what makes you happy.

can you expand on how your fetishism developed? how do you think bullying in particular influenced it?

sorry to necro but i remembered this thread and wanted to post here.

Dear M,

I don’t know if I’m being too harsh on my past self or if my motivations were always shortsighted and selfish like they are now. I’ve changed a lot from the person I was when I first met you, or more accurately I met you when I was just beginning to change and I still had some innocence and likeability. Maybe if things worked out you could’ve helped to save me from this fate but I don’t blame you or believe that you were my only chance, clearly not but it would’ve been nice. It was really nice in the beginning. I’m really hopeless now and I don’t really want to be seen or spoken to or interacted with. The word pathetic seems to characterise everything I do- it seems to have followed me since my birth. But I do miss you and the way you made me feel- but even if you did come back, it would be a shameless jaded idiot trying to recreate the unique sensations of hope and youth which I don’t have anymore. I know I’m still young but it’s not the same, I killed my youth. A lot of my thinking is projection. You surely didn’t feel as strongly as me, your position was too different. I know I acted very very crazy and you want nothing to do with me and I don’t want anything to do with myself either but I still find myself waiting for you though there’s no sign of you coming back. I’m not sure if it’s delusion or if you still care. Either way I hope you’re doing better and have escaped those patterns, that’s if you were telling me the truth. I hope you’re happy, even if that means i’ll never speak to you again or that you have a new girl, an actually functional one. I never want to meet or know about her though. I don’t think you’d ever want to tell me anyway.

Love,
L

A,

I still like you but things will never be the same again. When we spoke yesterday, I surprised myself with how easy it was to put up a barrier and fake laugh around you. And I didn't feel bad about it, and I didn't feel the need to let you know that I hurt, because for the first time in five years I don't feel like sharing everything with you. I think you will see through my bullshit soon enough, and I apologize in advance. I know you said I'm not special, but you will always be special to me.

R

Dear mom,
I love you and know you love me, but you suicide baiting me my whole life hurt me so much. The time you did it 8 years ago was the worst when you then told me to not come to your funeral. It broke me. I have PTSD and am still terrified everytime I am forced to open my email. You were mad at me not answering the one-way room phone I had when you wanted but I was in class and you didn't exactly give me a cell phone to call you with so it was only natural I'd miss some calls as I couldn't be in my room 24/7. Ironically my depression from the event resulted in my becoming a hermit in my room never leaving until I failed out. Every time you ask me what happened I want to burst into tears and tell you but it sounds so dumb to me at the same time to let your usual behaviour break me, to you this was just normal and natural reactions to me "hurting you". I made you feel that way would be your excuse, it's been your excuse always yet my suicide attempts are all my failings with no reflection on your part (not that I blame you but fuck me).
I think what hurts most is that for all your desperation to have me around to talk with anytime, your calls were never mutual conversations, just your rants about life and if I told you how class was going you'd barely acknowledge it beyond approval or disapproval of my grades then promptly move on to your thing. Why did you even need me for those conversations? I might as well have been anyone. I think I could handle clinginess if at least a conversation with us could be about more than just you. Hell, if you spent less time bragging about what you knew and more time teaching me what you knew I would love listening to you for hours. But instead as your daughter my job was to be your "best friend" and listen to all your rants. You honestly make a shit friend. Also mom, you don't reveal your darkest secrets to your child starting at age 4 (at minimum, I have no earlier memories). My first memory of a conversation with you is you describing how you were raped. I feel like I was created to be a friend for you and not because you wanted a daughter. And by friend I mean exclusive shoulder to cry on.
I wish you could have been more of a mother to me
M
PS I hate your excuses for not mothering R when I know you didn't intend for her to be a friend and wanted her as a daughter. you flustering for bullshit reasons why you didn't teach her to do shit then trying to put the responsibility on me everytime makesPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Adding this to my letter:
Next time you suicide bait me I'm fucking stabbing myself again but this time you won't be lied to and told it was a kitchen accident to spare your feelings. You do your fucking show and dance throwing pills at me asking if this is what I want, what I want in those moments is to fucking die and not be around a mother like you. All I feel is hurt and hatred for what you do

SL,

There's a reason why I have dropped you, tranny chasing "incel". It's not my fault you can't accept the fact you're bisexual. I have grown absolutely sick and tired of hearing you bitch about your life and your tfwnogf! Especially since you have the gall to talk down to me about my beliefs. Thank fucking god I never told you the real reason why I hate trannies.

PS I really don't appreciate having had to impress upon you the platonic FRIENDSHIP we had, even though you insisted on trying to force more onto me.
- S

GH,
Kill yourself you tranny freak. You ruined my life! I can never know peace thanks to you; I have a painful awareness of just how easy it is for me to be taken advantage of and violated in the subtlest of ways! I will never know freedom from having to watch for fucking mtfs like you (and they are ALL like you). Death is too kind of a punishment for you, but death will make sure you never fucking hurt anyone again with your tranny narcissist shit.

PS I hope you're in more debt from playing Magic: The Gathering than I am from successfully getting my bachelor's degree (an experience you RUINED) you worthless tranny scrote.
- S

I work nights at a warehouse. The warehouse gets goods. Those goods are put in their marked spot. Selectors are given orders which guide them on what to put in their pallets. The pallets and made and put onto trucks. Its kinda interesting to see how it works, but its a very poor work environment. I sit in a little command station where I coordinate pallets and give the "selectors" there orders to fill out. Past HR, I'm the only women in the building at ant point, and HR is only there in the day. The job itself isn't too hard, just make sure the moids get their orders and don't put their pallets in the wrong spots. I have a big glass panel I interact with the selectors through, and I like to pretend I'm looking into a moid encloser at the zoo. Generally the are indifferent with a few nice ones who sya please and thank you, but some get angry at me because I don't give them easy jobs. It is all supposed to be random, so I can't do anyone favors. When they get to rough I get to call over the manager. If it didn't pay good I would have left months ago…

>>72347
Me too, and I don't talk with any of my coworkers outside of work.

>>72356
I feel your pain. I started my job during the pandemic when we were fully remote. Now we’re hybrid but everyone is in and out on different days so I haven’t got a chance to befriend any of them. Plus we all have separate offices. And obviously my social skills aren’t stellar to begin with. But unfortunately I only have one friend outside of work right now so I wish I could be better friends with my coworkers just so I’d have people to talk to. Maybe even commiserate over work stress together.

I think I messed up big this time. I hope I don’t get fired or sued. And on top of that, I’m probably not going to get a reference from my boss. I’ll probably be blacklisted from the company at this point.

>>94871
What happened??

>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
I'm married and going to school right now. Unemployed because I'm too fat and mentally ill to get a retail job, that's why I'm going to school and trying to get healthier inside and out

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
I was really lonely before I met my current husband. Worked as often as I could and that was basically my life. Dating was a nightmare and all of my "friends" turned out to be shitty people.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?
More life knowledge I guess

>How do people treat you?
Like crap tbh

>>94797
How did you meet your husband?

>>94785
What is it that you do now? I have a useless degree too and am looking for jobs that aren’t too gruelling. Enough to feed myself and that’s it. Would prefer a work from home type job but I know people are taking those away now that the covid scare is gone.

Over 30
>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
Single, never was in a relationship and never want to be. No kids. I work for the goverment so it is chill and good. I like it that way.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
Nothing really, I live a simple and quiet life which I really enjoy.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?
I do not really know. Maybe that I am a little bit more stable in my worldview?

>How do people treat you?
Most people treat me nice and friendly. But I also do not really leave the house expect for work. So Do not meet many.
My father is a little bit annoying because he fears I will regret my decision to live alone. He is a family man and the though of me not wanting any of that is so foreign for him he can't grasp it. But I know he means well.

Turning 30 this year. Feel more beautiful, strong and clever than ever. Hated my teens and twenties until 27 and it felt like my peers caught up in terms of maturity and not acting like kids. Men years younger started flirting with me only recently and the older moids have finally left me alone. Been with the same guy for a long time not planning on getting married anytime soon cos it's not that important to me. Since ww3 rhetoric ramped up i've been seriously considering a selfish child free life against every mothering instinct i've ever had but thats just 2023 in general. Glad i didn't have children yet (or maybe at all) my peers who are mothers seem very miserable and their babydads and husbands suck.