Thanks. However I do feel the issue goes beyond mediocrity since I mentioned:
>My only wish was to live averagely yet I can't even manage averagely doing or averagely having any of those.
It is hard to explain, but somehow I feel like a being with no thought process, not a single thing or person that ties or grounds me anywhere, no tangible way to have made myself even slightly dissimilar at least in the way everybody else is. I think back to Will Smith's quote (And yes say what you want about him, but it's a good quote) "If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better." I suppose, then, that it's impact I feel like I need. I'm all about pragmatism, so living a pointless life is a huge no. I decided not to go to a prestigous uni, because "didn't need it". I decided I'm not interested in the idea of fame and celebrityhood, because "didn't need it". I decided not to pursue any job choice where my true passions lay because I staunchly believe that passion is overrated and professionally detrimental in its own way. However, I have nothing to show in any other way either. In not being incompetent, in being a charismatic person even if just BS'ing (Which people still care more about that someone that tries to not be seen or heard),
>I'm just a background character in someone's else movie
This is how I've always lived as well. I will surely go out like I was never even alive at all. The only reason I don't an hero is BECAUSE it doesn't make a difference.>>104230>That's rough nona. It's normal (I think) to feel like you've "failed" every now and again, that feeling kicks us into action and prevents complacency; it seems like you're aware of this which is good. I'm sorry your mother is using you as an emotional punching bag. Post too long. Click here to view the full text.