I used to know this autistic girl back in middle school.
She had a strange smile. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen.
And it wasn't really ineffable why. It was strange for some scientific reasons.
I couldn't articulate it at the time, but I'd never really forget about it.
Years later, I think I've kind of put it together.
The look on her face made it look like emotions were some kind of foreign object instead of something that was inherently a part of her.
It's like she acknowledged that "laughing" was a thing that existed, and that it made her feel good, but "she" wasn't the one laughing.
She looked like part of her was feeling the positive emotions, and the other half of her was acknowledging that feeling positive emotions was a thing. Sometimes she tried to reel it in, sometimes she just let it loose. But she never looked like it was an inherent part of her being.
It was part of her, but it was totally compartmentalized.
This image is the closest thing I've ever found that represented what it looked like.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.