/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Update to rule #6: 08/23/2017


General Advice & Vent Thread Anonymous 3849[Reply]

Old thread >>>/feels/1924

Let it all out, friends.
455 posts and 104 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5667

Thanks, anon, you're right. I don't want to be with a cheater who continues to lie. He had some redeemable qualities, but if he's going to treat that woman like that why would I want to be with him. This whole situation really stressed me but I tried to put an end to it, however messy it was. Lol

Anonymous 5678

omg why would anyone take cold showers. just did it because someone said it would help my depression and it was terrible, felt like I couldn't breathe. Got used to the water after a while but I'm never doing it again

Anonymous 5690

I think cold showers are mainly for waking you up, making you feel energized, etc. and the theory is that being wide awake and energized gets you out of the house, endorphin high, you know…
Tbh when I’m having anxiety or upset, I draw a warm ass bath, throw in all that bath bomb, epson salt bullshit, lots of it. Light a few little candles, play the song: “a horse with no name” by America & “rhinoceros” by smashing pumpkins & “one of these mornings” by moby, & other slow 90s grungy alt/rock. And just kinda lay there for an hour or less and take deep breathes. Idk if it’s for you, but I would suggest it bc somehow it helps everytime.

add cigarette, weed, glass of alcohol while in tub for those who indulge.

Hope it works out better.

Anonymous 5715

i don't want to do anything but rot.

Anonymous 5728


I feel like I'm the only one ever putting effort into those few friendships I have. Or, the people I consider friends do not like me. It's not blatant, so I'm not completely pathetic, but… I'm the one usually starting a conversation, no one ever texts me to vent or chat a little, in our group of friends I am the last one knowing stuff. What hurts most is the suspicious feeling they either don't trust me at all or find me too cold or boring to talk to, but when we are all together it's not that way at all. I seem like a side character of my own fucking life, I'm never doing anything interesting and never had a relationship, I grew up on the internet and the friends mentioned before are the only ones I've got, so it's not like I can stop hanging out with them altogether because I'd only end up more miserable!
I just wish I was normal. I don't care if I'd know less memes, I'd have people at least pretending to listen and interact with me.


Bootsie Shrine Anonymous 5692[Reply]

I will miss you forever, Bootsie. No one could make me feel more elated or worth something in a single moment than you. I hope you're butting your head against other kitties on the Rainbow Bridge so it feels like petting to you, which was your favorite activity. God I miss you, I don't plan on going for many more years, but I hope you're one of the first faces I see on my way out. Miss you, angel.
20 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5718

No one complained about the Bella dog thread, but a personal cat thread comes up and suddenly people are getting upset? I don't understand. I just wanted to share some pictures of my cat that passed away yesterday. I even apologized if I was being obnoxious and people seemed (then, at least) to think it was okay. I looked for a pet memorial thread first and we didn't have one, so that's why I made the thread.

I also don't understand the whole bullshit "he was an outside cat, I'm glad he died" responses. Did you not read the paragraph in which I mentioned his cause of death that I DID try to make him an indoor cat multiple times? I was able to make him at sleep indoors for a while at least and I got shit confiscated from me because I kept him in my room for extended periods of time? I wanted to bring him with me when I moved out so I COULD make him an indoor cat.

There is no general thread for pet loss and I wanted to post pictures of him. I figured that would be better contained in a separate thread since there was no pet loss general, plus I felt like it would clog up other threads with his photos. Also, no one gave a shit when the Bella thread was made however many months ago.

Anonymous 5719

There was just one person complaining and she was banning for samefagging. Don't let that affect you, OP. Morons will be morons. Rip kitty.

Anonymous 5720

Sorry, brain fart. Banned*

Anonymous 5725

>W-wah but someone else did x and no one said-
Gosh you sound like an insufferable child. That doesn't mean the same exact anons are browsing here now or did before so now I'm telling you like it is. Most people use the general vent thread when their cat or pet has died like normal humble people. If you can't handle the criticism of being an obnoxious attention whore, then don't take it to the spotlight. I do agree however that whoever is complaining about your cat outdoors is a retard.

Anonymous 5727

Don't be a cunt.


College/Uni feels Anonymous 10[Reply]

Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
123 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5645


>mfw I passed my exams for the first semester of the year but can't find an internship despite being competent enough, so I won't be able to graduate this year

Anonymous 5648


>tfw I found out today that an idiot from high school is attending my university in the same class as mine

Anonymous 5652

I know a lot of people say it's bad to take a semester off because you'll lose focus, but I feel like I'm barely able to keep up. Since I started college, I've always taken the summer session and now I'm a junior and I feel exhausted and burnt out. In the time I'm gone, I want to get officially diagnosed with ADHD because it or something similar to it severely impacts my life, finally get my driver's license so I can maybe get started on moving away from my family which is distracting and mentally exhausting for me to deal with. I also plan on starting a structured routine I can follow in hopes of me making sure that I can succeed at school in the future.

I want to switch majors, but the GPA for that major is the highest GPA requirement if you want to switch into it at my school and it infuriates me because I see people who have trouble with the entry classes in that major, yet for me, those classes were decently easy and my GPA was weighed down by all the times I got severely depressed and shit when I took GEs. I know I'm a fuck up, but it makes me feel disgusted because I keep on going on and I don't want to just keep going on, barely surviving, always fighting to reach the minimum. I want to thrive and I feel cramped and unable to because of my living situation.

I feel bad if I take a quarter off because I want to graduate as fast as possible. But at the same time, I want to be able to get excellent grades that I think better reflect my abilities (since I'm horrible at turning in homework on time, unable to focus even if I'm trying my hardest to, etc), especially since I want to go to graduate school.

What I'm scared of is that I'll lose motivation and then quit college altogether…but I don't think I will, I'm super determined to finish. I want to finish well and I feel unable to. But maybe it's all in my head.

Any advice or input is appreciated. Are there ways for someone who has extreme issues with focusing on tasks, turning in things on time, overall bad executive function, etc. to improve without quitting school? I feel stuck, I want to free myself and then go back to school when I feel okay with myself and when I'm not surrounded by crappy people.

Anonymous 5653

If it's not clear, I know all my problems are because of me. I'm trying to fix them. I've had periods of months where I could stick to a routine, but then I'd always come crashing down, unmotivated and depressed. Structuring things is exhausting for me, but it's also the only way for me to get anything done. I feel a little pathetic because i feel like only medication can help fix my shit personality, but honestly, even that is silly because I doubt my parents would be willing to pay for my prescription even though they could because they think pills are bullshit. I know they don't magically fix everything, either, but at least I maybe could do a few normal things throughout the day without feeling mentally drained from having to concentrate on doing them.

Anonymous 5726


I'm back.

As you could probably note, my hatred for these people is wholly irrational. There is no sense of twisted justice, no retribution against a perceived wrong other than my natural inclination to loathe such wrongness. The rush I get from poisoning these boring fucks has died down but a cool fulfillment remains. It makes the shitty piece of paper at the end all the more worth it.

I'm glad I started being so honest with myself those months back! And I'm glad my prose could entertain. The Ming dynasty bit was my favorite part.

"And you, my Tyrians,
harry with hatred all his line, his race to come:
make that offering to my ashes, send it down below.
No love between our peoples, ever, no pacts of peace!
Come rising up from my bones, you avenger still unknown,
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


Anonymous 5669[Reply]

>tfw no bf
it's not fair
6 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5683

why don't you have a bf?

Anonymous 5721

>tfw no nice guy bf

Anonymous 5722


Not having a boyfriend isn't painful. It's never having a friend. It's realizing that in your entire life, no one has ever wanted you. It isn't even worth it to spend an hour with you because you are devoid of any positive qualities and have no value as a human being. It is having hope that one day you will find love like your parents did, and losing that hope as the years go by. It's wondering if a mail order husband would leave you after he gets citizenship. It's wondering if anyone would even come to your funeral.

Anonymous 5723

Jesus that's heavy anon. Do you need someone to talk to?

Anonymous 5724

They're both painful. Those of us (on this site) who don't have boyfriends also usually don't have friends.


Secrets & Confessions Anonymous 1068[Reply]

Spill 'em girls.
219 posts and 37 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5572



this just reads like a SVU episode and is probably fake tbh. not trying to fight you, its just that the way you told this story sounds a little too movie-drama like. if its true then i'm sorry


make a fake facebook account with fake pics and shit and private stuff. then send it to the fb/insta/whatever page. sure, it might be "anonymous" to post there. but you never know if one of the admins there is someone from your class or something like that.

real talk, there was a guy who did this in my uni. a loner who was super creepy and always treated girls like shit. no one liked him. not because he was shy (like i suppose you are) but because he harrassed girls and bragged about being a "youtuber" and his #youtubefame #youtubemoney. anyways, he self posted in the fb page. he made a post pretending to be a girl who had a crush on himself. everyone could tell right through it because no girl ever talked to him like that/no one fucked with him like that. also it had his #im a fucking idiot style of writing. so all the comments were about how he was self posting. and the next days of uni people made jokes to his face about "hey wheres your girl, dude?". everyone knew it was self posted. admins didn't like him either and didnt delete all the posts mocking him. people made fun of him IRL about it for weeks because it was so sad & pathetic. i would have felt bad but it was kinda funny and i insist that he had a history of being a creep so people didn't like him…

so anon if you're hated in your uni, you will find out. if they don't care about you, you'll get two likes and people will move on. either way, being ignored >>>>>>>> getting made fun of

Anonymous 5581

i want to kill myself right now

Anonymous 5582


Anonymous 5623

I never learned how to ride a bike since my family never owned one. I also don't know how to swim, we never went to the sea side, the rivers here aren't safe and my parents don't like going to pools and stuff.

¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

Anonymous 5707

I don't know where else to put this, so here goes.

I think there may have been an incident in my early childhood that I've been repressing, but I know that it's just as likely that I'm just armchair diagnosing myself with bullshit.
Why I think something happened:

>my father was abusive and violent towards my mother and brother, she left him, he killed himself when i was 4 years old
>she refuses to talk about what happened and cries
>very unpopular, but somehow still manage to have sexual relationships with 3 of my female friends where we experimented with each other, these girls were all on a higher social rank and dominant towards me when in public but nicer when alone. Started in late elementary school and continued for years
>molested by two male relatives but it was written off as being boys in puberty and i still seeked their attention
[spoiler]v>couldn't reach an orgasm until my mid-20s, always felt like something is 'disconnected', it's like watching a movie and at the most intense moment, the soundtrack goes on mute.

>when I started being sexually active, I was in intense pain every time so much as a finger entered me. The first time my boyfriend fingered me, I felt completely stiff and had a weird sensation of doom.
>Later turns out I have vaginismus
>consistent history of unhealthy/abusive relationships with older guys

I don't know


Anonymous 5687[Reply]

I've recent got out of a long relationship with a guy. I find myself with an almost unquenchable lustful towards women. Despite honestly never really being into girls before. Is this normal?

Anonymous 5688

Sounds pretty unusual but why not slay some puss to see?
Get some good chicking, as they say.

Anonymous 5689

Don't do it unless you're sure, lol
Fantasies are nice but reality can be weird
most girls aren't as attractive as your fantasy and when there's a girl in front of you naked expecting you to go down on her genitals you better be sure it's what you want or you're in for an awkward or unpleasant time
There are far too many straight girls out there who think they are political or boycott lesbians and it's both cruel and heartbreaking what they can do to a girl

Anonymous 5691

OP here. I've already been with a few girls.

Anonymous 5701


So the question should have been "is this normal for a bisexual?", to which the answer would have be "yeh obvs".


Anonymous 5554[Reply]

Has anyone ever considered or tried suicide? How is the best way to do it?
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5666

I tried it. Obviously, it didn't work out. What I regret more than getting caught doing it was agreeing to try out the psych ward. It soon became one of the worst and most expensive weeks of my life, especially without insurance. Ever since then, the urge to kill myself isn't as strong as before, but everything seems duller. Life hasn't gotten better, but it hasn't gotten any worse. How are you, OP?

You still here? I kind of understand that if you've done that much research, you're at the point where it's difficult to stop desiring an end. Nevertheless, I hope you find peace, though I'm sure other miners and myself would prefer to see you happier and alive.

Anonymous 5677

Don't commit suicide. It leads to hell.

Anonymous 5684

I've attempted suicide as a teenager when I didn't know anything about how to do it. They were both pathetic attempts that no one even knows about but they were still attempts nonetheless. I've basically made my 30th Birthday my planned suicide date though. There's no point in me living past that age, especially if I haven't improved my life by then - which going by how my life has gone up until this point, I don't think improvement will ever happen in a significant enough way to stop me.

I'll either try hanging, drug cocktail, or slitting my wrists. Depends on how I'm feeling closer to the date. I've got another 3 and a half years to go. Part of me hopes I can find the change I'm seeking but I also know I'm too much of a lazy, scared piece of trash who deserves to die anyway.

Anonymous 5685

I sometimes go into states (usually after something mildly upsetting has happened) where I just… I cry, and stare into the distance, and I don't feel like moving or talking, or doing anything and all I can think about is different ways of offing myself.

This happened during a 10 hour flight once, I didn't watch a single movie or anything. Just sat there and quietly sobbed and thought about dying.


Anonymous 5686

I've never seriously attempted it, but at times I just look into my future and it all seems so bleak. I'm only 20 and the depression will probably grow stronger as I near my mid 20s. For now I can just think about how sad it'd make my mum and that usually triggers me to sob for about an hour or so just thinking about how horrible I would have to be to leave my family like that, I don't want them to feel responsible for my death (I don't think people who kill themselves are horrible this is just my (probably really bad) coping mechanism).


question for those who've been sexually abused Anonymous 5681[Reply]

If you still live or did live for a long time after the abuse with your abuser and were forced to have a "normal" relationship with them, do/did you find yourself taking their criticism or gripes about you way worse than if anyone else did? I know, they're not worth my time worrying over their opinion of me, but it hurts me like nothing else when they insinuate I'm too stupid or easily overwhelmed to do x and I feel so worthless when they call me dense when I'm sure if someone else close to me called me that, I'd brush it off and see that they're just mad or not thinking clearly or joking or whatever.

I feel so helpless to stop feeling this way. I don't think the rest of my family gets it, either. They often just think I'm being overdramatic and they know what happened between us.

I feel so pathetic because the last time I was abused by this person was 9-11 years ago and I'm still snagged on them.

Anyway, it'd be great if some of you could give input, tell me how you stopped caring, or just shared your experience and make me feel less alone.


relationship feels Anonymous 1[Reply]

the good, the bad, the confusing

are you dating anyone? got a crush?
409 posts and 74 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5659

You're making me start to think that it's a good idea to stalk my crushes on social media in order to get over them.

Anonymous 5663



I couldn't recommend it more. Despite the despair I felt yesterday, it's saved me from wasting my time twice so far. And if they do turn out to be okay people, you'll just probably find cute pictures of them to save or learn about their interests/personality beforehand to lessen the approach anxiety. You know, in case you actually want to date them. It's win-win.

Anonymous 5668


When am I supposed to confess to a guy? I've met someone online (not in a romantic context), we started to talk privately after we discovered that we have the same interests. We mainly just exchange e-mails and talk through skype. I've known him for about four months, is this the right time? Or should I wait some more?

Anonymous 5673


do you miners feel that some people are worth pursuing and others not? Or when you have a crush with someone you give it all even when feeling like maybe you arent that compatible in the long run?

I have a crush on my bestfriend, we sometimes nap thogether and i have felt his heart beat so fast it gets loud lmao or we drunkly get really close and comfy…

but i have never felt like he takes the initiative and he seems to put low effort in relationships while im a high maintenance, do you miners think is it worth to try? or maybe this is just a infautation phase that i should just let it flow

Anonymous 5674

Sure. Not everyone is ready to be a relationship during all single (or even taken) times of their lives.

If you already see things that would make your friend not a suitable bf (not quite red flags, but incompatibilities), it's better to not try for it. You said yourself that he lacks initiative.

Some things to consider:
Would you consider dating him if he outright asked you without any flirting/insinuating on your part?
Also, are you fine with how your friendship is now?
If you were to try dating, would you see him differently and not be able to be friends again? (Do you think he would feel that way?)
Is your relationship to him as a friend more valuable than the potential for more?


Getting complimented by strangers Anonymous 5408[Reply]

I know this is going to sound like humblebragging, but after my friends told me this isn't normal I had to ask.

Do any of you get complimented by strangers in public?
Sometimes people will even get up from their meals to compliment me. My friends play a game where they count how many people stare at me in public. However, I never have guys at my college hit on me, and I've only had one boyfriend (in highschool). When I look at myself I see someone who's average- I'm definitely not ugly, but I'm definitely not model-tier.
I also compliment other girls in passing, so I always thought it was a normal occurence. My friends are definitely pretty, probably even more than me- they actually wear makeup (eyeshadow, fake lashes, lipstick, contour, etc) while I'm definitely not talented in that area at all. Maybe it's because they look traditionally hispanic or American, and I'm eastern European?
15 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 5530

Pretty much never. In high school other girls compliment you as part of socializing but that's it.

Anonymous 5574

i usually get a few compliments every other day or so from customers at work. most commonly i get told that i look like lorde or anne hathaway. i don't really see it myself, but it's always really nice when it happens. today this pretty girl told me that i was remarkably beautiful (i was not feeling this way at all. i'd been on my feet for about seven hours and was tired af) and it was like she'd cast a revive spell on my worn-out soul. it made me smile real big for the next hour of my shift, and the time just flew by. i need to be better about dispensing compliments to others when i think of them.
when a guy compliments me, it freaks me out a little, but when a girl compliments me, i absolutely melt. i guess i trust a woman's appreciation of aesthetics way more than a dude's.

Anonymous 5576

I used to get those a lot when I was very underweight. I'm taller than average and have an acceptable face with skin and hair colors that aste not common where I live so I'd get a lot of "you're so pretty, are you a model?".

They stopped as soon as my eating disorder shifted patterns and I went up to a healthy weight range… so in my experience it has to do with the general ensemble of how you look, not just some measurable amount of beauty.

Anonymous 5636

Never, I'm very jealous of you.

Anonymous 5672

No, never. People are usually either dismissive or terse with me.

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