/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>56155
I don’t believe in love to begin with and don’t really care for being a favorite anyway. I just want a family without having to devote too much time to sex/chores/talking. If it doesn’t work out I can just divorce him anyway.

>>56154
yes, by telling you to get some self respect, I am lacking in self respect myself. flawless logic.

I kinda like lolis sorry

>>56158
You are now a moid.

tomorrow is going to be extremely hard. i'm going to visit my grandma who is in hospice. my fiance is going to be with me and i'm so glad i won't be alone but it's going to be so hard not to fall apart. the worst part is i don't have any longterm goals right now and she doesn't know what's going to become of me. i'm at the lowest point of my life just trying to keep my shit together and she'll never see me peak. and she keeps asking and asking what im going to do and i have no answers for her at all because i want to do everything and i have all these pipe dreams that i throw around like "im gonna be a doll maker" "im gonna be a musician" "im gonna be an artist" but in actuality i cant even drag myself out of bed most days. even worse for her is that im not a christian, i'm not living a wholesome life for jesus like all her other grandkids - even though im her only actual biological granddaughter. she's said to me her last thoughts will be prayers for my salvation. she's going to die disappointed in me and i don't even have time to prove myself to her now. i don'twant to go see her on her fucking deathbed she gambled away the house so now i cant even go to her house when she's gone the only stable home i ever had growing up. i dont want to go there knowing its the end when i never even really got to say goodbye to how it used to be… her drug dealer sleeps in my fucking bed

>>56030
The best thing to do is just try to cope as best possible on your current course and do as well as you can. This won't last forever. I relate to your experience a lot, I totally fucked up my life from teens to mid-20s, but you can't regret it. You just have to get to a place of acceptance and move forward as productively as you can.

It's not about anything else other than getting to a place in life where you are happy.

not shooting up my highschool

>>56054
Oh, nonnie. Your parents sound stressful to be around. I hope they don't pester you with texts and stuff like that. But I'm sure they do…

>>56032
thank you, anon. this is very kind of you to say. i honestly realize i don't have it that bad in comparison to a lot of other people and i'm working towards independence and having my life in the state i want it to be.

>>55253
I find it very hard to befriend women because I don't like cattiness or being hurt. But I also don't like being the only girl in a group of moids because I hate the stereotype that I'm the whore flirting with all the guys.

I only talk to one or two girl friends I've known since middle school. I don't trust anyone else with my secrets.

>>56079
>I find it very hard to befriend women because I don't like cattiness or being hurt
I am always very surprised by this kind of comment because the most hurtful, catty friends I've had were men. I've never had any issue with my good female friends.

>>56101
>the most hurtful, catty friends I've had were men
I don't really get close enough to most guys to find out. Though I can see that. Especially the more pathetic and insecure ones.

I had a few bad experiences in high school with girls. Gaslighting me and talking about me behind my back, typical stuff but it really bothered me. I haven't gotten close to anyone since. I know there are good people out there but I'm too scared of getting hurt to try again.

>>56102
It's not your fault you got into a bad group, but I know how much high school can damage a girl's view of her fellow women.
I expect to be laughed at a lot because I used to not understand social protocol and was a clown for that reason. So I am in the habit of acting retarded on purpose now, because I feel it's less embarrassing? And people will accept it more than a sperg pretending she belongs. At least being laughed at feels like a choice now.

>>56143
Thanks nonnie. I like your approach. I think your friends probably feel at ease around you knowing you don't take yourself so seriously. I imagine it makes them feel comfortable being goofy and silly themselves.

>>56133
Men are perfectly aware of how much porn hurts their wives and gfs, they use it as a weapon on purpose to dread women into submission while gaslighting them into how it doesn’t matter because love and sex are separate to them. Whether that is their feeling or not is irrelevant. That’s like a guy saying him cheating is fine because it’s just sex and he didn’t feel any emotion towards the girl. Its still unacceptable to any non cuck woman,

>>56138
Oh, I agree. I've heard enough shitty moid excuses to last a lifetime. But my point is that IF he truly wants to stop (and thus recognizes how bad porn is), then he should be supported in doing so and forgiven if he slips up a few times along the way.

>>56136
I feel you, it's a wasteland out there. I've reached the point where I'll consider a man who wants to change. I actually prefer that to a man who claims they DON'T watch porn. I think those guys tend to be liars or have repressed sexual urges.

>>56134
You will never be a woman

>>56137
This. Ever notice how men always talk about sexual "conquests"? Their natural state of being is going around trying to dominate everything in the most degrading and sociopathic ways possible.

And what's really upsetting for me is seeing guys say that girls LOVE it when they choke them and spit on them and all that. I don't doubt that it's true, I just know that those women don't value themselves at all and are happy to be used and tossed away afterwards because that just confirms how worthless they are. Argh it makes my blood boil.

>>56093
nta but imagine two hyphenated last names getting together and deciding to hyphenate it. like imagine a Wilson-Smith got together with a Grey-Zhou would that make them Wilsn-Smith-Grey-Zhou? Hyphenating sounds iffy to me.

>>56087
Agreed, taking his last name is cucked. Give daughters your name and sons his name. Create your own matrilineal line.

>>56119
I can’t get over the fact that women happily give their children the man’s name. When would a man ever work day and night on something for almost a year but give all the credit to someone who helped for half an hour on the first day?

The law in some places was that women belonged either to their father or their husband and all her children belong to her husband, who can do with them what he wants. Why would a woman want to make it seem like that is still the case?

Do a Cruella de Vil and make him change his name to yours.

>>56095
In your scenario, that would be two divorced or widowed people getting married together post-fact, not exactly the best of starts to a relationship. It's helped even less by the fact that most people who did hyphenate for marriage will just change their name if they get divorced. So now you're looking at the tiny percentage of widows and the exceptional widower with hyphenated last names.

It's a highly strange and specific situation that isn't going to come up, and, if anything, the solution is obviously that each takes the other's name and hyphenates it to their end of theirs removing the last name.

It's not that hard.

>>56126
Why even give your children last names? That reeks of colonialism and eugenics trying to keep track of heritage and such. Just because they aren't the moids objects to rule over doesn't make them yours either.

>>56127
Things would get super confusing without last names

>>56060
why do they just show up like this shdgsgsf hello????

>>56065
Because they want attention. Stop giving them attention.

>>55374
women have higher standards, i'd be more worried if only men found you attractive

Women who are attractive to women often have something strong and unique about them. Definitely not a bad thing.

It could be your height, fashion sense, or certain facial features (eg. Angular rather than small and round). Even the way you carry yourself or your voice.

Also lesbians are absolutely not known to make bold moves so you must be gay-hot for real.

>>56106
>>56109
How do you look like a lesbian? nta but I have the same thing happen.

>>54285
>but I don't use it as an excuse to be a shit person
No fun

>>54284
viviann#4621

>>50766
I know I'm a little late to the party but if you have discord hit me up Rooby#8419. This applies to pretty much anyone ITT though I would rather not talk politics so if you're looking to build a friendship on that foundation you're outta luck :/

スー#1660
pls add me I'm tired of talking to moids

>>52663
>[[read the rules]]
what was it

Does it count as self harm if I only hit myself and don't cut?

>>54866
>Once at school I overheard some boys talking about "conditioning", which martial artists do where they just punch/hit themselves against a concrete wall to toughen themselves for battles

This is stupid and pseud. Maybe mentally it prepares you for the pain you can feel in a fight so you ignore it when it happens to keep fighting but in no way it is confirmed that the theory that when the bones repair they toughen up like that dumb pseud stuff says.

t. I do martial arts did karate and judo, also because it makes no reasonable sense at all. Just don't waste your blood away unnecessarily or you bones only when necessary. Thats it.

>Why
I liked wallowing, I suppose, and it felt good to have something so shocking up my sleeve (lol) even though I never told or showed anyone. It "helped me deal with" (read: reinforced but offered momentary relief from) negative emotions. I also felt like it partially exonerated me from my failings; even if I wasn't actually fixing them, I could say, "look, at least I feel bad about it and am punishing myself, like I deserve."
>How
I started off just scratching myself with a sharp piece of metal, barely breaking the skin or drawing blood, but I eventually found some razors around the house and started doing some surface-level cuts. I mostly stuck to my thighs but did some on my arm as well. Over the years I'd cut myself off and on, with the average depth of the cuts getting deeper with each episode. I also started binge-eating as well and still struggle with it somewhat.
>Advice
It's a self-indulgent, selfish practice. If being a self-centered cunt totally wrapped up in her own misery appeals to you, then by all means, continue self-harming. I always knew I couldn't do it forever, though. The thought of being a mother and still cutting myself was absurd, so I knew eventually I'd stop for good (or else would anhero). If you can, think of where you want to be and whether self-harming at that point makes sense.
>Have you ever been caught?
Only after I was out of the house. My mom was concerned but I deflected and nothing came of it.
>Do you want to be caught?
I always liked the idea of being able to flash my cuts to people of no consequence in public, but in practice, I was too ashamed and embarrassed to ever let my sleeves or shorts ride up so far. I don't let family see my scars to this day because I don't want them to be sad that I did that to myself.
>Do you try to leave scars?
At first I didn't want scars for fear of being found out and only "cut" very shallowly. In the final period of self-harm I went through, though, I left a lot of scars all over my thighs and arm, enough for all the years I'd been self-harming combined. I have mixed feelings about them. I don't mind showing them in public because they're obviously old scars and I don't do it anymore, but as I said, I'd hate for my family to know, so I always wear long sleeves Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>Why
Sexual abuse trauma, would calm me down and instantly relieve me in anxiety attacks, I'd sleep like a baby afterward
>How
Taking apart disposal razor

I did it very deeply each time.
Now literally both of my upper arms and forearms are completely covered in scar tissue. I haven't worn short sleeves since I was 13-14. I stopped because I accidentally cut myself too deeply one day, and it scared me. I wish the scars would fade, but they never will.

Today in particular reminded me of how crazy I am.

Anyone else self harm(ed)?
Yes, if you include compulsive skin picking.
>Why
It's the best feeling in the world. It's sad to admit that but nothing ever comes close and I've tried a lot.
>How
My favourite way is digging my nails into my scalp until chunks come out. Wait for scabs to form and then repeat. I do general picking elsewhere but no other favourite spots.
>Advice
If you want to stop, make the picking site inaccessible by tying hair back or putting on plasters. Think about the shame of getting caught and something realising what you do or thinking you have some sort of disease. Pay attention to when it hurts in bad way like when washing yourself.
>Have you ever been caught?
One of my earliest memories is my mother going through my hair and scolding me for doing it "again". Who knows how young I must have been when I started. She threatened to take me to the doctor a few times as a punishment if I continued but never did even though I continued on and off. Really fucked up that getting help was framed as a bad thing. I guess she cared more about how it reflected on her than me stopping.
>Do you want to be caught?
No, I've mostly stopped now and the shame of someone seeing it is the reason why. I still reach for it though if I'm really stressed, like after a break-up. It always makes everything fell better.
>Do you try to leave scars?
Yes because they are better to pick next time but also no because I don't want anyone to see. I guess I leave scars strategically. I don't want any permanent ones though.

>>55754
Any stories of me you thought were good only to find out how shitty they were? It sounds like it would make for a fun story

>>55767
men*

>>55752
I think it brings up their attractiveness by at least 2 points, but my boyfriend hates having his hair long ;_;. He looked so cute with his hair grown out but he's going to buzz it all off.

>>55754
No such thing as "the good ones" they're all pieces of shit.

>men at work keep flirting despite how i tell them to let me work in peace
>men do not care about having a genuine connect only sex
>men do not view women has humans
>men resort to violence for everything
>men gatekeep everything then bitch and moan that women arent interesting
I hate men so much it's unreal