/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>23658
I want to develop novel techniques for medical imaging. So far I've worked in a tomography lab which was very cool. And with my money I want to retire, give my kids a great education, and focus on religious pursuits

>>23682
I seriously hope that's not true…I wonder if there's any way to tell.

>>23683
When I ask guys why they try to get nudes if they have an entire catalog of 10/10 nudes to jack off to already, the most honest answer I get from them is this.

>>23684
>>23683
>>23696
I don't like that men are like this because I'm genuinely interested in ""average looking"" men aesthetically.
Why can't I just date the equivalent myself as a man, personality wise? Someone who sees others as human and just wants someone to attach themselves to? They're just so rigidly hierarchical and hypergamous. I'm so tired.

Sorry to derail so much I'm just in a sad mood because of other things. Normally I'm fine with them not being quite on our level when it comes to relationships and emotions. But recently I'd like someone who actually likes me…not that I can even get someone who pretends to like me.

Also will ask my male friends if they jack off to every woman in their life. Now I'm curious.

>>23698
I don't think asking guys questions about masturbation is going to get you any closer to meeting someone who seeks attachment.

>>23699
Well, I'm not into to those guys and it's mutual. We've also known each other too long and I've long since revealed my female neckbeard powerlevel to them.
idk maybe it is pointless looking for love when I'm not an uwu pure maiden who hates sex and has never seen a porn. I am a virgin but I'm also gross.

I mean, I'm not a slut but I am interested in some serious femdom and draw my own porn, so who knows.

3 months working 8 hour days plus 2 hours of commuting.
They decided I must not work there anymore, so…

>>23027
Because of the commute? Or a different problem? Are you okay?

>>22491
I understand you so well, ugh. I work as an editor. In my country this job is almost entirely reading and correcting mistakes, sometimes discussing things over the phone with author, but generally, I could do it all remotely. I even bring my own laptop since my programs are more useful. But my boss still demands that I should do everything in her office, just whyyy.

>>22402
Have you considered getting a license and a car? I'm a wagie as well but it's not so bad because I get rides from family members to and from work. I've been saving for a car and learning how to drive in the meantime and it's going to feel fucking great when my efforts pay off.

OP here, I am still alive, so there's that. I feel a little better now that I am invested in Bitcoins and Ethereum. I had a sick day related to menstrual concerns and now I feel great.

>>23674
>>23665
I'll give you a short (?) edited rant. Here goes. (Refer to Book - The Denial of Death & "Terror Management Theory".)

The Will to Live is the corner stone of sentient existence. It is the psychological firmament on which our motivations and sense of identity rests. While our concept of death varies, we all desire to avoid loss, hurt, and separation. Every day is a struggle against the numerous, often unpredictable and unpreventable dangers in our lives. The blessed may manage to mitigate those discrete threats posed by other people and our environment. Yet none can stop the inevitable march of entropy.

Tertiary factors like radiation, stress, & carcinogens will sap our vitality, wearing us down at the molecular level. Inflammatory damage accumulates, plaques begin to form as damaged proteins pile up faster than the body can break them down, and telomeres (the protective end covers on DNA) shorten as the body attempts to prevent cancer by placing hard caps on cellular reproduction.

So, we find ourselves at a cross roads. The one goal etched in our minds: to survive, to thrive, to grow; is impossible and futile. But perhaps, we can achieve something similar to immortality. Is there is something we can do to persist in some other form?

Many find this in a spiritual pursuit. A common motif is that supernatural figure(s) may be swayed by faith, obedience, and dedication to intervene on one’s behalf. There is rarely an exact price for salvation, and having a mercenary attitude toward the heavens is generally impious. The desired end state might be a western idea of eternal utopia or an eastern idea of transcendent peace and unity. Regardless, there is a transaction payed in right thought & right action.

For others, they find a metaphorical immortality in their impact on the world around them, on human civilization, that they live on in the consequences of their actions. This is a worthy goal for those of us with an agnostic or atheistic bent. It provides a moral/ethical foundation for us to build our lives upon without any disputable claim of supernatural fiat.

Lastly, we may seek to live on in people or things. This can mean raising children, putting our spirit into creative works, and in acts of nurPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I will never understand people who say "stop texting me, I'm trying to study!"

Bitch, it's not like I'm fucking spamming you with a billion texts without you responding first. You replied to the first one so I sent another. If you're studying then just wait until you're done before you respond, or better yet if your phone is such a distraction that you blame others for it, then put it on silent.

Grr.

>>23689
>If you're studying then just wait until you're done before you respond
I imagine it's a case where they know they lack the self control to not respond, so they'd rather request that you not give them anything to respond to. I'm the same way with people offering food to me.
Still, there's no reason for them to be rude about it like it's your fault.

>>23688
You're definitely right that I can't force him to seek therapy or get better, it's up to him.
But is it unhealthy if I still want to spend time with him because we have things in common and make each other feel happy? Is it still a recipe for disaster if the company we share makes things easier?
I can't help but cling on to the happy times even though I know we can't actually date until we're both at a better mental/emotional point. Is it something I need to let go of?

>>23693
It's safe to say from your responses that you're pretty damaged. It's going to get worse the more you stick around someone like him. Just lose it.

>>23673
This man.

>>23676
Such an adorable bunny would never have the heart to stand you up. I think you're lying.

>>23678
He sold his younger sister into slavery for KPP tickets.

Not to mention he sold his parents wedding ring for tickets to Japan, he is a very bad and selfish person, although I might just feel that way because I am upset.

>>23672
I've got a lot of questions. Are you pregnant like the girl in the OP? Who's the guy? Where were you supposed to meet?

I have a problem with being jealous/envious of other peoples successes, mostly of people around or younger than my age (19). It ranges from popstars at 18 to seeing a young couple chatting and having a good time. When I see people succeed love, talent, career hell even have attention, I get all pissed off inside and I hate it. I want to at the very least neutralize my jealous triggers and being more focus to myself since I'm lacking in comparison. God dammit sometimes I feel like afem Elliott Rodger. How do you guys cope with being easily jealous?

>>23661
That’s the thing…
I don’t cope well at all.
I wish I could help you.

it's all perspective. you only feel bad if you choose to feel bad
it's all perspective. you only feel bad if you choose to feel bad
it's all perspective. you only feel bad if you choose to feel bad
this is how you transcend any sort of trauma. the normal people i once called ignorant were actually completely right. it is my fault because i chose to acknowledge the thing that hurt me when i should have been shifting my perspective in a way that made it into nothing
in fact, that worked out so well for me since childhood. it was stupid of me to change my ways. "addressing your issues" is a fucking trap by therapists, psychologists and their converts to make your issues that much worse so they have a nice long-term customer. do not acknowledge anything that might hurt you. repressed memories are repressed for a reason! continue to repress anything that might be an emotional landmine, because you are right, it is an emotional landmine! what kind of retard deliberately steps on bombs? one that wants to kill themselves, but has deluded themselves into thinking they want to get better, that's who. and you don't want to do that, so don't.

>>23666
Yeah memes aside it actually does wonders once you understand how your ego works and why your ego doesnt equall you. Don't be your ego's bitch. If someone was right and you were wrong: congratulations, you just learned new thing and are wiser from the experience.

"Listening beats speaking because only while listening you can learn new things". Your ego will want to tell you otherwise because when you're not right you must be upset right? How dares another human being have opinion over yours? Once you stop caring about those insignificant things you'll be happier overall because less things will upset you

>>23661
You just have to accept that some people are better than you. Tough pill to swallow.

>>23300
I s'pose my advice is: keep it cool and don't push too hard on the romance front. If there is any chance of anything happening, it's probably better you let it come naturally.

>>23301
>>23301
yes
if you are there will prob meet him, and thank you <3
i'll passed you my account if you are sing in

>>23302
will keep it in mind, thank you <3

The concept of this site sounds like a recipe for disaster.

>>23586
Yes.

I've tried nerd dating sites, but the results were bad. For starters, all these sites have a very "manchild" kind of feel to them; the obsess about surface level nerdiness without showing understanding. It's all about what you consume like an idiot, not so much what you do or think.

>>23639
This. Although I must admit it is little comfort.
Well, at least you weren't aborted?
And you have a brain that is capable of complaining? You can't be that disabled.
And I don't think you are terminally ill?
So look on the bright side? Right?

>>23631
Don't hate yourself.
I'll be your friend, Ugly Anon.

>>23640
You haven't achieved acceptance. Maybe one day you will.

>>23645
Its not a normal thing to accept. It’s unnatural.
At least that’s the way I see it.
God wouldn’t create ugly, deformed creatures. It really feels like a sign that no one cares. It’s like trying to bludgeon through rock with your bare fists. It’s futile and it hurts.

>>23660
There is no meaning to beauty or ugliness. The flesh only hides the soul to be seen. Don't live in envy, anon. There are many who need to feel your love.

>>23617

I don't know your bsckstory but I moved last year and it took months to set up a fridge, and I only recently got proper living room furniture. You're getting a lot done, keep moving with the momentum.

>>23617
>Panic attacks
Been there, done that. Regular panic attacks, usually at night, for weeks on end.
Most miserable 9 months of my life. Although they recurred about 16 months later.

While medication might help you, I found that somewhere underneath my panic attacks was a sort of depression and existential crisis, because I was wasting my life.

I remember reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Frankl, and it was a bit life changing.
It suggests that regardless of what happens in our lives, we can feel good about the world if we strive for personal goals for personal reasons, and act in a way that is consistent with our values. Live authentically.

I am not sure this will help you -
Most psychological issues have both internal, neurological and external, environmental aspects.
Also practice meditation and try to get regular exercise - it’s hard to stop an attack once it has begun but these can help a little bit.

But it is worth a read. And clearly you like reading. Which I deeply respect, btw.

Do you ever feel kinda overwhelmed by bitterness and sadness?

Not just sad, but sorta angry - at yourself usually, because other people aren't responsible for your choices, but also at life in general.

Just frustrated yet somewhat powerless. Not completely powerless – its that you can't transform your life today, or tomorrow, or next month, or even next year. Maybe it will be 3 years, maybe 5, maybe 10. Who knows if you will even succeed in escaping NEET-dom? There's no way to tell, and progress is slow.

The road to becoming satisfied with life again is soooooo long. And everyday you see so many happy people who grew up in the same generation – who have been successful in relationships and careers – and you feel wretched.

I get that feeling all the time. It makes me want to give up and go back to being a NEET. And some times I did do exactly that. But that won't solve anything. And so I continue to struggle.
Mr. Godot told me to tell you that he won't come this evening but surely tomorrow. Without fail.

>>23617
How are you doing math Anon.
Have you been brushing your teeth and practicing good hygiene?
Have you been able to sleep at night?
Are your panic attack under control?
How your work going?
Pls update so we know ur OK!

>>23622
>>23659
>>23618
>>23621

thank you … and i always appreciate book recs, i'll see if i can get my hands on it. today i woke up around noon. i went through my roommate's plants and removed a bunch of dead and damaged leaves and things, because moths were hiding in them. -_- once i got going i hauled most of my furniture out of my room into the common area, moved everything around, opened up and assembled my bedframe, and for the first time in a very long time (several years) i'm going to be sleeping in "my own bed." change makes me nervous so i had to take breaks as i went along, but i got it done. i got fast food for dinner and had a beer to celebrate and put my leftovers in the fridge. just brushed my teeth and settled into bed.

tomorrow i'm going to try to wake up earlier, take out the trash and recycling, clean the shower, go get milk for coffee, organize my stuff, do some laundry, and then spend the afternoon either reading or working on the math.

>>23634
yes. but there's no rock bottom, and even if you give up, life keeps happening to you.

To B,
I should’ve been kinder to you in your last days in the hospice, even though seeing your crackly skin and disconnected, otherworldly gaze always tied the knot in my throat. But I can’t afford to let you see me cry when you were going to make the trip to the other side. I had to appear happy for you in the day when you were mulling over the many relationships you had in the past, and the people who died whom you would reconnect with. Strangely enough, even when you used to tell me all those stories about your mom throwing plates at your face, pulling your hair, screaming at the top of her lungs at 2 AM, you still wanted to see her. You had a really rough life. I should’ve given you more than I did.
I’ll admit, it’s hard not to cry when you see a person half-dead with pus seeping out of the mouth, smelling stale and metallic and have the most trivial conversation. I tried to come as often as I could muster emotionally. I don’t know if that was enough for you. At that point when I cared enough to wonder, I could never find out. I’m sorry. You’re in a better place, being treated how you deserve to.

To W,
I fucking love you, but our consequences really piss me off. I get jealous whenever you mention having a close call with another girl, but I can’t do jack shit. Your girlfriend is sweeter than apple pie, and I love her, but she can’t stop talking about you and her times with you, which also sets off the envy. It’s fine – I’ll wait for the feelings to pass.

To P,
You’re kind of a creep, but I sometimes think of you and I want to talk to you for 5 hours like we used to in the good old days. You’re really cute, too, but we can’t be together for reasons we both understand. I wish you all the best and not to be too sad about your situation, you figure things out like this really quickly. I’m actually only writing this because we haven’t had a heart-to-heart in a while. I just miss you, man. Maybe I’m not over it yet even, but what can I do?

To V,
I know you like to use and abuse your freedom, but the people you hang out with are boring and aimless junkies, and you know it. Fuck, there are drug addicts who are at least fun, creative, batshit crazy, and if you want, I know some – however, spice users are never that. You’re above them, and you deserve to know people on your wavelength who are as smart as you are. I can’t see you often because I don't visit your city that much, but believe me when I say I wish I undePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Dear V,

Hope you're doing OK and that that shitty prick of a boss isn't taking out his anger on you after he fired me from work. Try to remember you're only there to work yourself up further in life, and that one day they will have to answer to you, not you to them.

It makes me feel at least a little bit better that no matter what kind of bullshit he may have made up about me to everyone else after I left, that there's someone who won't believe that crap. I've known you since 6th grade after all, and we were practically best friends, though we may have increasingly drifted away from eachother as the years went by.

It's unfortunate that because of losing this job, I'll most likely have to go back to not seeing you at all anymore (I doubt you want to hang out anymore, since you seemed to reject me out of not wanting to, before. Not to mention now that you work-full time your schedule doesn't allow for it.)

I want to tell you I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at work, as well. Since you're the one who referred me to that job. Whether or not finally standing up to that guy who treated me like shit, the way I did, was right or not, I should have remembered that he seemed to have started treating you poorly as well, so the way I reacted to him was probably selfish. I just couldn't hold it in anymore and he had pushed me past a breaking point…I didn't want to keep being the pushover I had been my whole life. I hope you understand.

Now, I'm not going back to being a full NEET, since I'm still completing classes (So I hope you don't find me such a complete loser, in that regard…lol) but I hope there is a better future paved our way, for the both of us. I hope you can get into the police academy, like you told me you're planning to. I hope I can fulfill my dreams of becoming a JP-EN translator. And screw that vile old bastard, as well as all those other terrible people at that dead-end job. Let's keep pushing for our dreams and not get trapped in such misery.

Even if we never talk again, even if we never physically see eachother again, I just want you to know this.

Thank you for supporting me and how much you've done for me all those years. I still hope I can return it to you, one day. No matter how immersed in my own issues I get, you're still the one person I feel the most obligated to in my life.

Dear Byron
I miss you. Some days I miss you less than the others, some days I don't think about you at all. I don't want you to be back, I don't want you to keep suffering because of me, because of the way I am. I do want you back but only for a moment, just so you can know how terribly sorry I am for hurting you. I have no way of reaching you since you did to me what I've done to everyone I've ever met online and that's okay, I deserve it. But I would like you to know that I didn't hurt you on purpose, that I am very sorry. Your memory has been strong recently because I dreamed about you, I dreamed I found a way to reach you and in that dream I was aware it was a dream, I was aware I'd wake up and I wouldn't know how to get in touch with you. I want to apologize, I've been wanting to apologize for over 250 days, and I know those days will become a year soon because you won't come back and I respect that. I'm very sorry. I am. I've been trying to not commit the same mistakes again but knowing I hurt you so bad and I have no way of apologizing, I don't think that will ever leave me alone. And I accept that too. It's okay. I just wish I had one or two more minutes with you to say I'm sorry.
Love, J

Dear A. D.
I still wonder how things would be if we were still together. I wanted to remain as your friend.

-M.F.

E,
I loved you so much it made me sick in the head. I'll always wonder if we could have worked out, if I hadn't been so fucked up by everything that happened before I met you. Love in and of itself messes me up - I don't know how to separate it from psychosis. I'm sorry I was so horrible to deal with after we broke up and I hope you're happy with her. Distance and time have restored my sanity. I'll always love you, a little. Even if I don't deserve to. I hope someday you can forgive me.

V

>>23583
I'd make the first move but I have crippling social awkwardness. Every time I have even attempted it has gone badly and the person is not into it. Makes want to give up dating all together knowing that instagram Stacies could get 5 of these qt guys just by a simple dm.

Am I a …f*mcel?

>>23628
No, there's nothing wrong with you - at least I don't think so.
Approaching people is hard, but maybe try making friends who can introduce you to people?

>>23628
However bad your social awkwardness might be, it is not as bad as mine.

>>23628
Someone will dig it, anon. Regardless, making an effort definitely means you're tearing your social muscle, leaving room to grow and mature as a person.

>>23633
Oh yeah I'm sure you're soo special and you have worse problems than anyone else. Grow up.