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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019

women2.jpg

Coming of age Anonymous 30603[Reply]

At what age does one stop being referred to as a "girl" and referred to only as a "woman"?

Everyone knows at this point that woman = adult human female but as a 26-year-old turning 27 in two months I get called a girl 95% of the time, even by people who are aware of my age.

I thought that by age 25 people would start calling me a woman only but I guess not? So what's the cut-off age? I know this is probably a weird question but I was just curious.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30623

I started getting ma'amed at 17, no one really refers to me as "girl" either anymore. I think a lot of it is just how you carry yourself/dress. I'm 23 now and my 25-year friend gets called girl and miss. She's a lot more sociable and energetic though and dresses younger than I do.

Anonymous 30624

>>30606
>when you have your first baby
I second this. Maybe if you’re like 40+ you won’t get it, or dress very professionally, but I think this childbirth to be an adult is still a thing in most cultures

Anonymous 30633

66411543-european-…

I'm 29 and am mainly called 'young woman' by others, I refer to myself as both a girl and a woman but mostly woman. someone referred to me as simply a 'lady' once when I was around 24 and it felt so foreign to me because I was thinking 'I'm a girl!'.

I think it has a lot to do with things like how you dress, how you speak, the way you hold yourself and so on. of course if you still look very youthful people will still probably think of you as a girl but maybe refer to you as a woman out of respect?

I think by 30 being called a girl might be insulting to some. no matter if you've had children or not you are a woman by then.

Anonymous 30639

yIaz42x.jpg

27, in the last couple years I have finished the transition from "miss" most of the time to "ma'am" full-time even when I'm dressed pretty casually (same clothes as when I was in college).

But maybe it's a customer service thing where people defer to ma'am to be more respectful? Makes me feel like a crone though.

Anonymous 30644

i guess it depends on where you are.



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Anonymous 27562[Reply]

blah blah max capacity blah


>>>/feels/res/25163.html
379 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30532

>>30530
>>30526
It was actually back in May but I missed the message until August. That's why I can't reply.
The situation with him is overall the most unfortunate. Even if he feels similarly he won't be staying in the country long term. Sucks!
(I'll keep this in mind though)

Anonymous 30540

>>30530

>tfw you’ve never had a dude you haven’t seen in ages asking how your day is going

Never heard about this term before though. Learn something new every day.

Anonymous 30544

>>30530
This is the kind of stuff only normies follow. What a stupid concept.

Anonymous 30642

49EBB230-CCD2-4879…

>”hey anon, can I cover your shift tomorrow? I could really use the money”
>mfw

why do bitches think I don’t have my own bills to pay? fuck. of course if I had said yes they’d see this as an opportunity to keep asking. I’m so glad I’m learning to put my foot down when it comes to my coworkers still trying to take advantage of me because I’m the new kid on the block.

of course she seemed sour when I walked in to work this morning, too.

Anonymous 30643

>>30642
also should have clarified this text was sent on sunday and she wanted my monday shift.



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Night Time Thread Anonymous 12786[Reply]

Night is a blessing and a curse. The comfiest time and emptiest time. What are you doing awake? Enjoying the quiet? Regrets eating at you?
Please only post if it's night time for you. Night requires a special haven.
20 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30573

72081485_p0.jpg

I enjoy the melancholy and general slowness that comes with the night. It is a striking contrast to the busy, noisy and speedy daytime. I wish I could have some neeting time so that I could go back to watching the sun rise at dawn before going to bed again. I miss summer vacation. I feel like I got stuck in an adult life with all its responsibilities without ever having had the chance to enjoy myself.

Anonymous 30576

>>30573
When's the next time you can go on vacation? Your break will come. Good luck keeping up with the grind, hubbub, and goulash. I may join you in the real world and escape the daily dirge blasting in the four corners of my bedroom soon.

Anonymous 30582

>>30576
I'll probably take some around Christmas, but it would only be two weeks, which is not even enough to catch my breath, let alone recover.

>I may join you in the real world and escape the daily dirge blasting in the four corners of my bedroom soon.


Trust me, it's the real world you want to escape from.

Anonymous 30632

it's almost five am here. I've been online all night reading, the hours just fly by.

Anonymous 30641

1200x630wp.png

Just got home from a chill night out with friends. They taught me how to smoke. We talked about weeb culture and birdwatching in a bar over beer twice its market value. Had good food. Noodles. Wish I kept walking down that endless empty road on the way to the bus station. Can't connect to people on Discord. Too normie for one group, too fringe for another. Listening to mediocre RNB. Need to wake up in six hours. Want to feel less needy. Fuck the sun.



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Something you wish someone would say to you Anonymous 21124[Reply]

Whats something you wish someone would tell you right now?

❤️
43 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 23005

>>23004
Oooorah.
You wanna be a ground pounder? I got mad respect for that.

Anonymous 30622

“It’s okay not to like something the rest of the group does. Let’s talk about something you like so you don’t feel lonely and left out.”
“You don’t need to be defensive and serious all the time. Let’s have a fun, casual conversation.”

Anonymous 30625

>>30622
This, a thousand times this.
>wow, even though you're half retarded you've come this far
>you'd make a great mom
>look honey, I bought us a dog!
>life gets better from here, trust me
>what's your favorite anime? Video game? Book? What cool new ideas do you have for a story? Oh my god what a great drawing.

Anonymous 30627

Hey, I know you're having a hard time lately, but just try to relax. Everything is going to be okay.

Alternatively,

Hey, what's your name? You maybe want to hang out, walk around the city a while? I make pretty good company, I've got Yelp reviews to prove it.

Anonymous 30640

>>23004
If just one half of that kind of, sort of, at least partially applies to you, you're an amazing person.



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Virgin Thread Anonymous 19173[Reply]

Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.

>turn 22 in two weeks

>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships
480 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30574

017 - 016.png

>>28626

Thought this was interesting. From this manga, here are the average ages for first sexual experiences for men and women in Japan.

Anonymous 30634

Unknown.jpeg

I should start up my mission to try and find a guy to lose my virginity to but I'm really in a slump at the minute. I don't feel up to even making eye contact with men while I'm engaging in all these bad habits. I've been eating very poorly and my acne is pretty bad and my IBS is playing up. I actually look like shit from all the junk food. I'm in no position to be trying to snag a cutie.

do any other anons here constantly tell themselves 'I'll look for love once I've done X thing' (like lose weight or learn to apply makeup well) or make themselves desirable enough to actively engage with men they're attracted to?

I've been procrastinating in this way, making attempts to improve myself and make myself dateable/fuckable and failing over and over for years. it ties in closely to being a perfectionist and wanting to be 'just right' before I try and get a bf. it's also become the excuse to never leave my comfort zone (until I'm ready). it's become a way of life. but as the saying goes 'if you wait until you're ready you'll be waiting forever' and as a 29 year old virgin I know this is true but still I do this……….

sorry for the tl;dr I just needed to vent

Anonymous 30636

>>30634
i am exactly the same ive lost weight (but still fat) but i feel exactly the same, and my face is ugly (not saying for pity, am actually ugly) and i cant really change the face i was born with. i really want my first kiss and sexual experience to be with someone i love but at this point i feel like i should try and download tinder or something, im pretty lonely (i dont have friends either) so i guess eventually ill be desperate enough to feel loved that ill just fuck whoever
>tfw no qt submissive khv bf to love tenderly

Anonymous 30637

im 20 and i dont want anyone inside of me

Anonymous 30638

>>30637
Word.



sampeppershouldibe…

i need dentures at 29 Anonymous 29763[Reply]

i had a bad couple of years. with tooth whiten, anitbiotics and not having a dentist i developed weakened enamel. so now it looks like all my top teeth have to come out. i feel like a loser and i want to kms. I have never done drugs and i dont smoke. so to lose my teeth when other dont doesnt seem fair. life isnt fair but my life is cursed. my van was stolen last month. its just been a rough life.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 29814

wait what the heck
tooth whiten and antibiotics can make your teeth fall off?

Anonymous 29832

>>29768
It is possible that some stronger antibiotics will fuck over your tooth enamel if you take them for a long time, as well as teeth whiteners.

The biggest culprit though is just plain old poor dental hygiene and junk foods. Soda in particular will fuck up your teeth pretty bad. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day and floss, kids.

Anonymous 29846

>with tooth whiten, anitbiotics and not having a dentist i developed weakened enamel.
No you didnt, your enamel doesnt change once its made, what you meant to say is that you developed rampant caries and the dentist said "this is a fucking disaster, how about we start from scratch?"

Anonymous 30082

>>29832
>>29846
you miserable know it alls is why this board is so dead. the person gave a cause. you can look up antibiotics and tooth whiten.

there needs to be a new board where off putting socially akward people cant post.

the op provided has a gi issue that's also hurting their cause. not everything has to be spelt out.

Anonymous 30635

>>29763
op here. the specialist said my my teeth broke off because of the way i was keeping medicine, cough drops in my mouth. I held it in my mouth at night. so after 4 years of doing this thats why my teeth started breaking up. its sad. the gums are great but the dentin started eroding.
I also had an muscle illness that kept me homebound for 3 months.
its sad. the dentist said he has heard of this before.
i dont know if i will get implants or just get a flipper and wait. denture will erode the gums but an implant will keep the gums healthy.

i will say some dentist go for the nuclear option first.

>>29846
because of people like you i think this will be my last update. im pouring my soul out and some socially awkward jerk just to comment on my life.



101005032-obese-fa…

face hate vent Anonymous 9968[Reply]

I just got a haircut this afternoon (no drastic change) and of course took a bunch of selfies when I got home to see how it looked, send to friend, etc.

I have a really weird face and looking at the selfies started to upset me. All my features are huge – I like my big eyes and big mouth but I hate my big hook nose and big forehead. My eyelids are asymmetrical and I have really dark circles under my eyes. I'm embarrassed to think people look at me everyday. I don't think I can ever afford plastic surgery for my nose, and it feels like a waste of money anyway.

What do you hate about your face? How can I not hate my weird face?

>pic related and also lol pepperoni eyes
18 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30612

I have been crying for a while and went and tore up almost all old pictures of me, and went through and deleted every picture I could find of myself.

I really hate waking up every day and having to be in this stupid flesh suit 24/7. I can’t stop thinking about grabbing a knife and stabbing myself over and over, but I have a boyfriend now and fuck. It’s just so hard. I’m so fucking tired of myself. I really try to love myself, but I just can’t. I really really wish I was dead.

Even though I feel this way, I also feel so guilty because I know there are people who have it way worse than me. And what I’m crying about is such a first-world problem, so I just feel like a terrible person.

I sound so annoying and immature. I just needed to vent. I’m sorry.

Anonymous 30613

i didn't think much about my face, then i downloaded one of those filter apps and man…seeing it morph into my real face is such a huge insult. i look like a potato. how will i ever recover?

Anonymous 30614

>>30612
Hey. It's okay. Do the deep breath thing when you feel like that.

I'm an ugly girl too. Or, I think I'm ugly. Sometimes I have these moments that are either clarity or delusion and I think- if I have a boyfriend, I can't be so hideous, right? But then again, men would probably settle with fucking and wedding toothless hobbits, so maybe they're not a good way to tell how attractive you are. I guess my thought's derailing… I just mean that, maybe I'm not ugly. Maybe you're not ugly either. But even if we are, so what? Let's embrace it if that's our hand in life.

To be an ugly girl is only horrible because society tells us our looks are our only worth. But we're worth more than that, and as long as we're good people with good hearts, I think it's gonna be okay.

Or some such shit that'll probably sound stupid to me in the morning. I'm having the worst mood swing right now and feel manic/optimistic.

Anonymous 30618

>>30614
I really love you, Anon.

Anonymous 30631

>>30613
oh god this happened to me and made me feel like shit for about an hour so I deleted the app. not today, satan



image.jpg

Anonymous 15326[Reply]

So what do y'all feel about non-monogamy? Open relationships, swinging, whatever y'all wanna call it.
58 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30599

>>30551
Aren’t you worried about diseases

Anonymous 30601

>>30551
Are you happy?
Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?

Anonymous 30626

>>30599
No, none of us fucks strangers

>>30601
>Are you happy?
I am, very

>Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?

Romantically, I don't see how anything would change. Me and bf are in the process of getting married, and his bf is okay with that, and never wanted to get married anyway. Children aren't in the picture, but if we become parents, we wouldn't hide relationship from them - it's just like any other relationship, and if children can understand a short explanation of physics, they'll understand how people love each other

Anonymous 30629

I tried this shit in high school, at the height of tumblr dangerhair bat shittery. It's just something you do to either because,

A. You want to be hip and with it
B. Your partner is going to leave you and you want to make them stay somehow so you offer it to appease them
C. You're not Western
Or,
D. You don't get enough out of a monogamous relationship, though arguably that would suggest you are in an incompatible relationship

Anonymous 30630

>>30626
Please read books on parenting before you ever have children. I hope you don't though.



8082161-1474322697…

Anonymous 28550[Reply]

Was there ever a time when you realized that people were laughing at you, not with you? Tell those stories.
28 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30265

>>30253
>>was gonna crouch down at the urinal and drink his pee
Damn how could any man NOT fall in love with you right then and there?

Anonymous 30266

>>30253
Sounds like made up scrote shit

Anonymous 30280

>>30253
>was gonna crouch down at the urinal and drink his pee
now this is podracing

Anonymous 30620

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4656819/
> Overall, participants who witnessed an exclusion game judged the victim as less human on both domains compared to one of the perpetrators as well as to a player in the control condition.

Anonymous 30628

I'd rather not relive memories by trying to think back. I've repressed everything, and try very hard to keep those things repressed. What I can say is this kind of thing hurts, but maybe I'd have joined in if I wasn't the ugly freak being laughed at. Maybe I would've laughed at whoever everyone else decided was too gross to be treated decently.

Kids are cruel.



43d92972ed8bc1d1df…

Media/Entertainment (especially Japanese media) and self esteem Anonymous 30600[Reply]

Not sure if I should make this one on /media/, but I'll try here.

The idealized beauty is also there on western live action movies and television, but not as much since at least for my personal taste 2D people look far better.

Is it stupid if I feel that media, especially Japanese games and anime , ruins my self esteem?
>watching some random anime show
>every single girl look gorgeous
>everyone has a waist long perfect hair
>everyone has the hourglass body with a big butt, wide hips and huge firm breasts
I dunno, I seems like people in their world are, on average with prettier than in ours as we just seem to consider them as just everyone treat them as they were at most above average.
I know it’s silly, but I sometimes I keep wishing I was prettier even if I’m not inherently ugly or anything. It is amazing how reality is dull and 2D people are ugly, I don’t even care about what others think, I just want it for myself. It’s not that I forget that people like these are very uncommon IRL, it’s just that I think I’m not enough, or worse, reality is not enough.
I mean, I hate those idiots who whine about muh race casting, we need fatties and trannies on TV too and pretend they are healthy!, and I know it’s my fault to look for something I cannot achieve but I sometimes even think about stop playing games and watching anime because of that, but’s it’s still my favorite form of media so I don’t know what to do. Anyone else with a similar problem?
I just wish I was 2D. We need to transfer our minds to machines so we could create our own worlds ASAP.
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 30607

Comparing yourself to cartoons and feeling like shit is crazy, anon. I know because I sometimes feel it myself.
You have organs and a human body, anon, which is fine.
Personally what helped me is watching western animation instead (which has uglier characters) and drawing my own art of girls who have a similar build to me. I believe in you, anon.

Anonymous 30608

>>30607
>crazy
By "crazy" you mean retarded or just something bad that drives you crazy?

Anonymous 30609

>>30608
Both tbh.
But I originally meant that it's just irrational and senseless. So, retarded.

Anonymous 30611

I have a slighty different problem, but first I wanted to say that even if it's a totally comercial show Love Live! is IMO a bad exemple since except Eli, Maki and Nozomi and to a less extent Umi no girl is regarded in-universe as being a total beauty, they all have the very same problems of normal girls that affects their looks (Nico being plain and flat, Honk and Hanayo were a little overweight, Rin looks a boy and Kotori has a scar). The show that made me feel just like OP was Clannad.

As I said my problem is a bit different (Clannad was the exception. I still can't deal with how how our life looks dull when compared to fiction, and mine looked even worse.
I was a very sad child during high school and watching movies like Breakfast Club, Dazed and Confused, Ferris Bueller's Day Off among others made me really jealous because I knew people who (at least I thought) had those very same lives full of parties and fun while I was shut at home almost every weekend. What helped me was realizing that 1 no one actually have lives like in those movies and 2 even if I had a huge social life full of parties and whatever that would mean a huge tradeoff since I would lose my time and stop doing things I really love, but I still regret not having friends when I was young as this is an opportunity lost forever. I mean, I'll never know how is to have a bf at school, that really sucks.

Anonymous 30619

Girls in otaku-oriented anime like Love Live are literally created to be “perfect” in an ideal way to sell merchandise, figures, etc. Real people can never become like that. Our faces have blemishes, we have body hair, etc., and that’s ok. It’s what’s humans are naturally supposed to look like.

Honestly, in your case, I would just try to watch less anime and more live-action TV shows (and this is me speaking as an anime fan).



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