Living with someone with a serious disorder or disability Anonymous 34633[Reply]
Part vent, part desperate plea for help…
My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)
I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.
I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.
And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.
Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?
332 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.Anonymous 69567
The apartment was looked over and I returned the keys. One less thing to worry about. Now I'm trying to figure out how I can leave with some clothes and a winter blanket. I might have to say I'm going to the laundromat and leave.
Anonymous 69586
>>69567laundromat excuse sounds like a good idea. you can do it op. remember that you deserve better, and that you don't owe him a final conversation or anything at all
Anonymous 69620
>>69575>>69576>>69586Thank you. Honestly I just want to go to my own sharehouse room tonight after work and be done with it but then I'd just have this one pair of clothes. I'm on edge and ended up raising my voice ar my boyfriend during breakfast in the common kitchen. No one else was in there but the windows were open and now he's upset. I'm just sick of being treated like a pet, having orders barked at me. It's annoying, he always tells me I'm angry in the morning. But when I'm not with him, I love sleeping early and waking up early. I just hate him ordering me around and making snide comments about me. Ugh.
