>>118981I find the walking away part difficult sometimes but it also manifests in ways like they do listen to me but if I wanna hang out they will blow me off or they will hang out with me but have other friends to hang out with me later (I know they aren’t making them up) but it still hurts because I have no one I can just hang out with.
And this one girl I wanted to be her friend. She was one of the I hang out with my friends later after this girls. I already clocked she wasn’t really a friend friend maybe not intentionally she was really friendly though but idk I saw who her friends were. They are the ones who ask her to go clubbing and do activities etc. And they wear makeup style their hair, she in particular has a new hairstyle every week. It’s normal if you have tight curly hair sidenote so nothing wrong with that but I wish I could wear makeup etc etc. But man why do I not look. Stop. I’m incoherent and starting to digress.
My point is I just knowwwwwee that I can’t ve her friend. She has other friends they seem like “popular type” girls. And idk I know they are gonna think I’m weird and I like hanging one on one mostly. And she and her friends hang out weekly, yeah she can hang out with me a bit but like…. It doesn’t feel like she appreciates the friendship enough if she can’t just block out time for us as friends so that if we want to hang out longer, there’s nothing in the way to hang put for hours because we want to yk.
So she did msg me but I didn’t reply back. I don’t think she and I an be friends even though she is kinda nice. Also we have the same major and I don’t want to talk about school stuff at all. It gives me anxiety. It feels like we are comparing ourselves to each other yk, it sucks.
Another reason is I don’t want to invest in the friendship knowing she has enough other friends, only to be left hanging. I’ve had this before happen to me and she didn’t have other friends it was just her cousins she didn’t even hang out with them often but tell me why she hung out with them instead of me … when I really needed to hang out with someone. (Overuse of the word: hang out sorry)
But yeah I don’t want to invest in something knowing that I’m not gonna be important to the other person anyways. Sometimes you just have to take a loss yk, so I didn’t reply back because no I’m not investing in friendship that I won't be h
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