/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I don't wanna sound /r/NotLikeTheOtherGirls, and maybe I'll have some SJWs yell at me for "internalized misogyny", but does any other girl HATE e-girl/OnlyFans/titty streamer culture?

I think I mostly hate it due to how it affects me. When you tell people you play games nowadays, people create an image in their head of some cosplaying girl selling her nudes, playing a game mediocrely in a bikini on Twitch.

It embarrasses me to say I like games anymore.
People say, "what is the issue with it?" but there are no girls in pro gaming scenes… and the only popular female gamers are girls that are sexualizing themselves for creepy guys, and it makes women look like a joke, in my opinion.
Like, it confirms stupid sexist incel logic who think all girls just want male attention if they like male-dominated interests.

If you saw a poster for brilliant STEM-lords/scientists, and all of the men on the poster were respectable looking scholars in ties, but the only girl on the poster was completely naked, wearing a labcoat and nothing else, sucking on an Erlenmeyer flask or some degenerate shit, do you not understand why that makes me feel uncomfortable?

We have such an issue with men objectifying ourselves to begin with, and I feel like it's just encouraging it.

It makes me feel gross being seen as a human fleshlight for creepy incels… not to mention, it comes off as lazy to use your sexuality to get by instead of working to be good at games/be a good streamer/etc.

Why do so many women get validation in attention from nasty incels that look like a fucking wart?
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Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is

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The fact that most men watch porn even when theyre in a relationship makes me wants to die. How the fuck am I supposed to find a bf when 99% of men are coomers because they cant stop themselves to save their life from jacking off to a screen. I wish guys understood how shitty it makes us feel. You’ll never look as good as the girls he sees on porn. Anyone else feel this way?

Does his heart belong to the pussy, or to your whole person?
How can you know?

I met a guy through a game online several years ago and since then we’ve been friends aside from a year or so long period where we didn’t speak. When we started speaking again, he confessed his feelings towards me which I rejected and he took it well.

I thought since then he had gotten over it and it was fine, but I found out a few days ago he still has feelings for me. That wouldn’t be an issue, but he’s just started considering going to university. He said he wanted to go to the farthest ones so that he won’t have to commute to get away from his family, and his top 3 choices currently include my dream university which I have made clear that I am dead set on going, and two others that are very close by to it.

Am I overreacting or is this a bit strange? His family does seem crazy and he said those universities have a good reputation for his degree. But, I feel like he wouldn’t have to move so far if he was just adamant on it as well as the fact that he is also severely limiting his choices by basing them on location. A family member of his recently acted out so I think that’s what influenced it but I can’t help but feel self-centred. He mentioned it was a coincidence and at the very least he’d go a year later than me but even then I feel like our relationship would cross a boundary that I don’t want to cross.

Part vent, part desperate plea for help…

My boyfriend whom I live with has OCD among other things. It wasn't a problem before, but the past 6 months it has been getting progressively worse. We spend 4-5 hours (possibly more, he cleans when I'm not home, too) cleaning every day. The whole apartment gets cleaned daily. We can't have any decorations because they'll quickly get "dirty" or become "dangerous." any niisefrom the upstairs or next door neighbors are because they're angry at us. Hands must be washed after everything. All surfaces constantly disinfected. If there's any splashing while washing, clothes must be changed, etc. Going out anywhere takes several hours of prep. After coming home, clothes must be taken off in the entryway, then one has to shower, then clean all areas where one walked (and hey, since you're cleaning already…. Do the other rooms, too!)

I desperately want him to get professional help, but he has trauma and is really distrustful of medical professionals. I offered to go to therapy /counseling together (no medications) but he refused.

I have my own disabilities and I know he's had to sacrifice to help me as well, so I'm usually patient and help. But all I do is work, clean, try to sleep but get waken up because something is dirty/dangerous, repeat. Sometimes for an hour or two he is back to his old self but then something happens and we're back to cleaning. It's so frustrating.

And of course I can't talk to anyone about it. I feel so isolated embarrassed, and frustrated that I can't do more and get won't get help.

Is anyone here in a similar situation (as either party)? What do you do? Any advice?

A thread for FtMtF detransitioners.
Feel free to post in this thread if you…
• Took HRT but now identify as female
• Had a double mastectomy but now identify as female
• Presented yourself as male in the past but now identify as female.
… And so on.

I was friends with someone who had narc tendencies. He treated me poorly and was never been able to give explanation for his actions. He tends to badmouth everyone around him and he badmouthed someone who was a close friend to him.

I asked the narc on his reasons for doing so and he couldn’t give any explanation. He was purely defaming his friend’s character and abilities. I proceeded to warn the said friend as the said friend is also kinda close to me. The said friend confronted the narc and he ended up saying everything he said to me to the friend’s face and they friendship ended right there right then.

Along the way, I ended my friendship with the narc as well as he crossed way too many boundaries and lines, both with his actions and words.
The question is that, I feel guilty although I feel like what I did was right. Was my judgement wrong and I’m just denying it? Or is it because the narc wanted me to feel ashamed and guilty about it and I’m still not free from his chambers?

I hate being a woman. It's the most fundamental thing about my self, but I can't even understand it. Every day I feel this agony because I cannot get outside myself. I will never be able to experience a mind that's not my own. And I hate my mind. I can't think of things categorically, I can't remember complex things, everything takes me a long time, I can't do symbol-heavy activities like mathematics, I fundamentally can't read a fucking map, I can't imagine where I am. I can't see space. I can't see. I feel all the time like I can't see.

I was raised with the unequivocal notion that women and men are equal, and essentially the same. But everything I've discovered since then seems to hint at a difference in experience that, no matter how small in specific quality, seems to be the seed from which two fundamentally separate plants are grown. Reproduction is a fruitless project of hybridization, a hopeless attempt at metissage that every time yields only one isolated species. The project of human evolution is permanently halted in the necessity of human gender.

I was raised to think that women are the same as men, but I know they are different. I know too that they are better at some things. Better at caring, better at nesting, better at intuiting emotion, better at judging value. And when I list these out, they sound like pathetic qualities, and I futilely hope that there must be something else about women that I'm forgetting. But Beauvoir was right when she called woman the "other". Every other quality belongs to man. I feel isolated in this domestic little world, where I can be a woman and small and pointless and absorptive, or I can try to be more, and act against my own abilities.

I know I sound nuts. I know you will read this and say that I'm clearly a self-hating woman, that my perspective is too negative, that I don't understand, that I need to look at it differently. I guess I know that I need to look at it differently. But I don't know how to look at it differently, see the truth, and see a truth that doesn't make me want to cry.