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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019


Anonymous 27562[Reply]

blah blah max capacity blah

94 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27971

He probably thought he was pestering you if you didn't escalate, and moved on.

Anonymous 27981


Why am I procrastinating again? What's so fun about it? Why am I doing this to myself?

Why why why why why why why why.

Anonymous 27982

let nothing distur…

There's a term for this which is appeal to nature or naturalistic fallacy. The issue with this appeal is some events in nature (cruelty, etc) would be wrong for moral agents like us to make.

Modern courtship might be closer to nature in that people satiate their natural appetites and wants more readily, but that doesn't necessarily fulfill our desires as beings with a moral dimension.

Anonymous 27983

Wow very scathing, but you really have got the wrong anon. All I've said so far is that your image sucked.

I'll clarify my post and type it a bit nicer because I think you've critically misjudged: it doesn't matter what board or thread you're in, everyone is posting anonymously and this will lead to unpredictable replies. You should always be mentally prepared for such posts and know how to shrug them off. If you would prefer to avoid getting such replies entirely, then imageboards just aren't the place for you. You can try keeping a journal for your venting.

I hope that helps you build your resilience.

Anonymous 27991


Anonymous 26381[Reply]

How you guys deal with self esteem?
Seriously i have no self esteem, i look like a monster, im so gross.
I wished to look like Milena d sunna, an actress porn. Seriously i cant watch her video porn but she is so perfect and everyone love her.i wanted everyone loved me
Why im not atractive? Why im not like her? Im totally opposite, i want her skin…
I hate this feeling, this hurt so much.
28 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27942


If a black guy asked me out I would be insulted unless he was extremely wealthy, a pro athlete, or something like that.

Anonymous 27948

Have a stable and healthy diet, don't starve yourself. 1200 kcal is too little, it is better when you have maybe around 1500 kcal and the food you eat should be fulfilling, don't eat candies or potato chips for instance. If you want to have a treat, work out before that and lose enough calories. Then you will probably understand how many caloeries some snacks contain and how few some full meals do. Work out in general, have your own speed so it is somewhat pleasurable and you won't become to hate it. Consistency is the key, not calories lost on one single day.

Anonymous 27980


OP here
If regret could kill, then I would be dead, seriously. That shit i wrote is so toxic Sorry about getting things off my chest like that and now have alot of toxic and racist chicks in this thread, ugh. However, thank you girls who gave advice!

Anonymous 27985


op are you me ? i wish i looked like her toooo

Anonymous 27990

why do girls like this get into porn? it doesn't make sense to me, she could just marry a rich dude if she wanted money.


Virgin Thread Anonymous 19173[Reply]

Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.

>turn 22 in two weeks

>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships
254 posts and 35 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27984

Posted in here about 6 months ago, give or take. Still a virgin.
I’m really determined to lose it once school starts back up again and I’m actually “kinda” socializing with people again.
I just don’t wanna lose it to someone random, but it doesn’t have to be my boyfriend or anything either. Like a friend or acquaintance would be fine, maybe someone I could hookup with a few more times too.
We’ll see.

Anonymous 27986


Try your best, anon. It’s easier to have sex when you’re in school. In the working world, it’s a lot harder to meet people. I regret not trying harder when I was in school.

Anonymous 27987

I feel you. sometimes I ache so bad just to have a guy to love

Anonymous 27988

nayrt but this is so true (about the not meeting romantic partners in everyday life) but I don't want to use dating apps. I just want it to happen organically, meeting a guy 'in the wild' so to speak.

Anonymous 27989

I was the same - I used to fantasise about guys I knew IRL and liked but I didn't need all of the dirty things I'd imagined doing with them running through my head the next time I saw them and making interacting with them more difficult. It's also true that it's almost like torturing yourself so it's best not to go there imo.
I usually just think of whatever celebrity I'm into at the time.


Anonymous 26694[Reply]

What does the sensation of a guy getting a boner from you feel like? As a kissless virgin approaching my 30s, I don’t know.

I wonder if it’s even possible for a guy to get hard from me. Since it’s never happened yet, I don’t know.

Many women talk about how men only want to use them for sex, but all I want right now is the basic physiological acknowledgement that I’m attractive enough to fuck, that I meet the baseline to be considered sexually attractive. But I’ve never been called sexy, never beautiful, not even pretty - always “smart” or “nice”, and it depresses me more than anything else.
53 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27809

Threads like this break my heart. There are so many guys who feel very similarly to this or exactly the same. It's a shame being open about this kind of thing is so taboo.

This is a human problem, not a man or woman problem. I bet you're all so much sexier to men than you think.

Anonymous 27820

>>There are so many guys who feel very similarly to this or exactly the same

>guys are to shy to approach you

>to shy to approach guys
Guess I'll never reproduce then.

Anonymous 27821

Have you tried lowering your standards in terms of a guy being physically attractive?
I understand that we all want a good looking partner, but sometimes it also depends on mutual attraction to hit it off from dating apps/meeting someone online.

Anonymous 27839

It isn't bad. Most guys don't. I honestly feel like a lot of guys are burned out on porn to appreciate simple intimacy in that way anymore.

Anonymous 27975


>become attractive enough to fuck
>only the guys you don't like want to fuck you



Anonymous 27952[Reply]

Do antipsychotics or even SSRIs make you more clingy? I've felt more clingy in a negative way with my bf ever since i'm on them. Emotionally numb too. Any experiences?

Anonymous 27956

When I went on Prozac (SSRI) it actually had the opposite effect on me, I’m pretty sure? Since my anxiety decreased, my constant worrying about my bf leaving me lessened, so I think I might’ve become less clingy. I think I feel more “alive” ever since getting off Prozac but I’m also scared of my intense anxiety symptoms coming back, so the emotional numbness is kind of a trade-off.

Anonymous 27966

I dunno about clingy, but I definitely felt emotionally numb on SSRIs and it got worse the higher my dosage was. It was weird because at the same time it made my moods (more) unstable, so I'd be acting out based on feelings I couldn't even really feel.

I hope this goes away for you, and if not then I hope your doc can find you a med that doesn't do that.


The only girl in the group Anonymous 27666[Reply]

I am struggling to cope with no longer being 'the only girl in the group'

This is a bit of a complex one so bare with me. I am not that old, but i'm probably still a little bit older than a lot of the girls here. For a very long time, I was used to having almost all male friends. When I was in my teens it was still not very common for girls to like certain types of "less casual" video games (girls always have of course but it's more popular now than it was before, play tabletop rpgs (this was before the recent mass uptake and acceptance of D&D)or card games such as Magic the Gathering. I have spent a long time with each of these hobbies, attending clubs, events and competitions. Naturally for a long time all of my friends were boys. I was also fairly handy with computers and code and I never had very many common interests with normie girls. I never outwardly hated them or bragged about being Not Like Other Girls, but I did get bullied a lot by them in school and I essentially kept my distance.

When I got to college I joined the tabletop and tcg club, and out of about 60-100 members i was probably one of 5 girls. I never put myself in these situations to feel special or for male attention, but I got used to being treated a certain way (people would know my name and remember, people would want to talk to me, for instance or be nice and ask how i was going).

I'm not ugly. I'm no stacy either. I'd say I was about becky tier, maybe a bit uglier than that, but I was always able to make myself look better with makeup. Basically, right when it was popular i was rockin' the internet soft scene late 2000s nerd girl boxxy eyeliner that everyone was mad for at the time. People liked me well enough.

I still have mostly male friends, even if we see each other less now because of adult life. We still meet to play games (video and tabletop). However, recently we've grown more distant, as they've made two new female friends and bought them into the fold to play games with us.

At first i was happy about this because I really thought it would be a good opportunity to meet more women with similar interests, but really quickly I realized it wasn't going to work out like that.

The new girls don't really care about being my friend or getting to know me, they're mostly there for the boys. This would be fine, but the boys seem to have less and less time for me or interest in me these days. They dote on their new female Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27818

>the girls see you as a threat (or just don't like you) and force the boys to distance themselves from you further or permanently.

I don;t think i'm very threatening, I have asked them (the girls) to have lunch with me or see films so we could get to know eachother better too but they don't seem interested, I think they just don't like me for whatever reason, it is fine though, I understand not everyone can like me but it would be nice to have some female friends

>Ultimately a girlfriend and potential longterm partner has more weight than a hobby-based friend that is already distant and separate from eachother's lives.

I think perhaps you misunderstand, i wasn't any more distant than they were from eachother and we were friends outside of hobbies (but always had similar interests) for over 10 years. They are my only friends and none of them are very popular with anyone else either, until now.

>OP, I think you should expand your horizons by working on fostering friendships with girls/women outside of your friend group

I think you are right. Maybe it would be easier, but I don't know where to look, it's harder to make friends as an adult. Has anyone here used a friend making app or web group or something before? do those work?

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 27824

Then if you dont have any experience with friendship circles and your friends weren't popular with the ladies you are experiencing the late trope of "everyone cares more about girls then our normal stuff we do and this sucks." Except you are putting too much importance on gender rather than them wanting gfs while you are being left behind a bit. Gender means nothing here and still doesn't no matter how you look at it. Dont make it about your gender, it will get messy if you keep on this path because it's about something totally different than that.

Anonymous 27825

Oh also I forgot to mention clearly those other girls dont share the same interests as you do. I mean I'll be blunt everything you said so far points to them being fake nerds. They read a bunch of nerd meme surface level shit that is meant to draw in superficial people into nerd culture and the more they realize it's a bunch of deep knowlege shit that requires effort to learn and understand these things and the jokes behind them. Clearly the guys are having to do a lot of legwork to make them feel included as it is so I'm sure they are doing this as a superficial thing until they can try to push them away from the nerd culture shit and do more things they want whatever the fuck that is.

Anonymous 27938

Anon you sound insufferable and you definetly feel threatened by the existence of other girls other than yourself that have the same hobbies. Stop craving male attention so much.

Anonymous 27939

She’s being pushed out of her long-time social circle. I think she’s alright to be a little disconcerted, even if she does phrase it in gender terms here.


Any femcels here Anonymous 14730[Reply]

>Whats stopping you from not being a femcel

For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
190 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27900

>females believing in manospherian beliefs

Anonymous 27906

What's your explanation for the difference in sexlessness rates for men and women then?

Anonymous 27934

Women choose when sex happens
Guys choose when relationship happens

*Generally speaking ofc

Anonymous 27936

Sure, I agree with that. But that doesn't answer the question.

Anonymous 27937


A plethora of factors play into it.
It is a fact that women tend to go out with older men.
It is a fact that men (nowadays) tend to be more solitary/alienated.
It is a fact that "hypergamy" is exarcebated in liberal societies where religious/social monogamy is not enforced. I don't like the term hypergamy though.

Males and females boast asymmetrical mating strategies and the dynamics of course are not identical. The discrepancy is to be expected until the system self-corrects.
In history the system would self-correct with a)large migrations b)war c)enforced polygyny

You can also look at the relevant Maps that demonstrate the female to male ratio in countries. It is broken down by age range, topography, rural vs urban centers, et cetera.
Long story short, women outnumber men in large city centers, and men now outnumber women all around due to 3rd world migration, in some countries. Sweden, for example, has devolved to a 109 males for every 100 females.


Make a Wish Anonymous 707[Reply]

What do you wish for, Miners?
What(in the realm of possibility) would make your life nicer right now? Money? A job? A lover? Nice skin?
26 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27412

I wish for my friend to have a smooth and uneventful pregnancy, karma to knock my eldest brother on his ass, and to get that job.
No whammies, no whammies!

Anonymous 27415

A job for my boyfriend that he enjoys. It would help us both so much.

Anonymous 27658


I don't wanna be underpaid and stressed out anymore.

Anonymous 27665


I think we all feel this way, Cascaposter.

Anonymous 27910

I could do with a large sum of money, honest. I could handle the rest myself all I need a small push.


College/Uni feels Anonymous 10[Reply]

Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
192 posts and 47 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 27881

Then… Don't have the breast reduction surgery?
>tfw I wish I had big anime boobies

Anonymous 27882

I was always curious, have girls with big tiddies ever tried to make their back muscles and their upper body stronger to support the weight? Getting ugly scars would make me think twice tbh

Anonymous 27907

Im doing a STEM degree and realising I hate it. I wish I could do something creative or practical, but my "natural talent" is in maths so its my only option. I dont even care about my job prospects after, I only came here to escape being a NEET lol.

Anonymous 27908

Yeah if you’re gonna be housewife then your degree literally wont matter lmao, might as well switch

Anonymous 27909

Absolutely not, I've been trying to get this approved by insurance for a year I'm not postponing it. Also mine are saggy and point at the bottom they look gross as fuck
>tfw no cute flat chest

I've tried that, but working out with them is pretty miserable. One reason for surgery is that they make running impossible. In addition I've tried Physical Therapy, pain meds, and countless custom bras/fittings, all I've had to do to prove that I need this medically.


Anonymous 27773[Reply]

What is emotional abuse? Is it different from just being an asshole?

My conception of emotional abuse is that it’s when someone threatens suicide if their partner leaves, or tries to isolate their partner from other people, constantly berates and insults their partner, etc. Stuff like that. But I’m curious as to what other people define as emotional abuse.

Anonymous 27811


your concept is spot on. I would also like to add that someone who is emotionally abusive will not respect your boundaries nor be able to apologize when they're clearly in the wrong.

Anonymous 27814

From my psych textbook
>Emotional abuse involves a pattern of behavior
on the part of the parent or caretaker that results
in serious impairment of the child’s social, emotional, or intellectual functioning. Examples of
emotional injury include belittling or rejecting the
child, ignoring the child, blaming the child for
things over which he or she has no control, isolating
the child from normal social experiences, and using
harsh and inconsistent discipline.
You could replace 'child' with 'partner.'

Anonymous 27840

Just look up NPD. Their day-to-day behaviour is emotional abuse.

Anonymous 27905

Everything that doesn´t go your way in a relationship and you have to reach a compromise is emotional abuse these days, who even knows, i´ve stopped caring a lot about relationship talk because people love victimization and you never truly know if they are simply opting out of taking responsability of their own decisions and toxic behaviour.

If you are miserable and are constantly being pushed by your partner into more situations that make you feel miserable and work against your own interest then consider the red flags. Manipulative people usually give themselves away very shortly after, pretty much everything good about them and everything they tell you the first 2 weeks of dating will turn out to be fake and they start going back on their own words.

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