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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

Do not make threads about the following topics or you will be banned:


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Use the catalog.



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Vent Thread Anonymous 125413[Reply]

I don't even know what number we're on

Previous thread >>>/feels/120288
273 posts and 44 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127030

>>127028
>but if it’s mental illness is it maybe also caused by trauma?
Of course it is, no sane person acts this way.
>and i don’t think more pain or punishment would help him.
I guess honestly I am too coming from a family where any misdeed has been faced with cruelty, so I probably reacted in a pretty unhinged way. But honestly I don't know what else I was supposed to do.
>and you say your person is afraid of being left? do you think they might have a high opinion of you and have left first out of fear and regretted it cos they were scared you would leave first?
Uhh honestly it doesn't make a lot of sense to me given the context. Maybe true, maybe they even thought I was too emotionless to care, but in the end their actions weren't very nice and I was more scared of being disrespected like this than anything else. They outright insulted me, likely under someone's manipulation but still. I honestly wouldn't care if they just admitted to it with respect.

Anonymous 127031

>>127030
but you don’t think they’re capable of having this conversation and they’re not in your life anymore so i guess i can’t advise to talk to them. i just wish more people could talk it out. if you both reacted badly i think that kind of situation has the best chance of both parties being able to be vulnerable and honest. if they have npd though they probably aren’t capable of that. i’m sorry you’re still trapped feeling things over this that you can’t resolve.

Anonymous 127032

>>127031
I actually wish I could talk it out too but I didn't believe it anymore. Thanks nona, I actually really needed someone to talk about this with. I have a good honest relationship now so I'm fine.
They do kinda give a vibe that they tried latching onto me just to display me as a trophy in front of other people so I don't think they had the ability to even care what I think at all. I'm actually satisfied with the outcome of the situation, though.

Anonymous 127033

>>127032
my ex treated me like that because all of his friends wanted to date me and he didn’t even want me. he just wanted what they couldn’t have to prove a point. i know how painful that is. i’m so sorry. i’m so glad you’re okay and i could be someone to scream into the void to.

Anonymous 127034

>>127033
On the bright side you are popular enough to sway entire social dynamics nona! He was an asshole but he can't take away that from you. Thanks, I'm gonna head off to bed now. Have a nice time of day wherever you are <3



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My new friendship ain't working Anonymous 126739[Reply]

For the past half a year I've been trying to make friends online with other like-minded people mostly women. Days ago I met a person but they don't reciprocate my efforts and excitement. I'm so tired of trying.

Anonymous 126744

1720963216871608.p…

>>126739
That's terrible!

Anonymous 126772

it’s only been a few days. breathe.

Anonymous 127029

>>126739
I hate this "nonchalant" precept that zoomers follow religiously thinking it makes them cool. Ugh



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Anonymous 126999[Reply]

would you stay with someone who punched a hole in the wall? thread pic is an example not the hole.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127010

Over what? not gaming, surely

Anonymous 127013

>>127010
over something i told him but the anger wasn’t directed at me.

Anonymous 127015

no matter what it is he was upset about, destroying things out of anger is genuinely manchild behavior. what i would do is tell him to grow up.

Anonymous 127024

at best he can't control his emotions and damages your home/belongings. at worst this is a warning sign for future domestic abuse if he can't control his violence when upset

Anonymous 127026

>>127024
he was reacting to something that happened to me to be fair to him. it did scare me though.



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Hate Thread Anonymous 118525[Reply]

What do you hate and why?
41 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126175

>>118533
you could replace trump with alcohol and this post would fit well in prohibition. But That would hurt the nonas who cant put down the bottle too much to say

Anonymous 126178

>>125949
>Most incels would've been utter normalfags if it weren't for their appearance

And most women would be incels if they hadn't been born women.

Anonymous 126196

1755642306827.webp

>>118525
Rodents

Anonymous 126984

Men who play games all day and the only way they’ll interact with you is when you play co-op or they need you to relieve a bodily function.

Anonymous 127014

>>118525
is this a carricature of nevada-tan



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Normiemaxxing Advice Anonymous 126975[Reply]

Come on, how the fuck do I normiemaxx? I want to be happy like them. I want friends, I want to be respected and seen as NORMAL. Any tips? What should I do and what should I avoid?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126977

you kind of have to lobotomize yourself and be a smiley happy person so the normies will see you as 'safe' and interact with you. they looove small talk, and love pretending like nothing is wrong in the world. normies don't like subversion so save the weirdo autist shit for when you and them are much better friends

Anonymous 126980

people act a certain way in public and unwind when they get to know. you guys just aren’t getting to that point with people. other people are anxious too.

Anonymous 127004

>>126977
not op but how do i master small talk? what topics do they like? ive isolated for so long im forgetting how to talk to normies fml

Anonymous 127007

>>126980
I prefer acting like muhself right off the bat unless I need something from the other party. I'm surprised so little people do this but I guess they care about their image way more than I do

Anonymous 127012

>>127004
when you say small talk i'm assuming you mean quick chats with strangers. really it just comprises of things that are safe to talk about. some examples

1. the weather (i know but especially if it's been bad/nice recently)
>"it's been so nice out, what have you been up to?"
>"it's so cold, i just want to stay inside all day"

2. the location
>"this shop is so cute! i'm going to be broke by the end of the day"
>"have you been to ____ yet? it has a nice vibe!"
>"it's been so busy recently!"

3. shared obligations
>"uni work is killing me"
>"it's been slow on my end of things, what about you?"
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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Anonymous 126886[Reply]

if a man in your experience tended to listen to songs that mirrored his emotional state. and it turned out he had been listening to music that was basically either throwbacks, soothing instrumentals you know he listens to for anxiety, and otherwise pretty much entirely songs about being in the wrong and the kind of man who ruins his partners life without trying so they should stay away. like music about realizing too late you were wrong and it’s too late to apologize or redeem yourself. wishing you could go back and undo what you did. that you didn’t mean to hurt that person. that they were evil and dark and beyond redemption. would you believe they were sorry? would knowing someone didn’t intentionally hurt you make you feel better? especially if he was presenting a happy face to everyone and his music taste was alarmingly suicidal when it wasn’t before. he did not send me the playlist and we use different music apps. he’s just been silently listening to this stuff for years. is he sorry? is this a truer indication of his feelings than him trying to contact me and apologize?
31 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126994

>>126963
this is what stops me from reaching out. maybe he just likes the songs.

>>126946
the potential for great harm by not taking action thing is something i struggle with a lot. both with him and harm he’s caused. but also like with myself and others. i feel like i cause harm to people and animals every day by not stopping the bad things happening to them. but i can’t i’m just one person. maybe that’s how he also feels. i don’t know.

Anonymous 126998

>>126994
Hey nona. The fact you're self aware about this is already a huge step. You don't need to save every animal or person that's in distress, it's another way to create a toxic environment. In fact you should be saving only yourself and people who won't inflict harm upon you. Many bad situations can be avoided this way, so hopefully you can find some solace and agency in this idea.

Anonymous 127001

>>126998
those tik toks of animals with days to live have been upsetting me so bad lately. i keep emailing shelters near me to get in touch with them because i can’t have a dog on my floor and i rent. the amount of suffering in the world drives me insane. i guess that’s why i even care someone who hurt me is depressed. he let me suffer alone when he knew i was hurting. there’s just a part of me that can’t be like that towards someone when i know i’m part of it. i wanted him to say sorry and then for it to be over. not for him to be silently suicidal and think the situation is so far gone i wouldn’t care if he apologized and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. cos like the greater implication scares me. what if no one ever forgives each other for anything and we don’t fix climate change and the whole world is just backed into a corner and the whole earth ends.

Anonymous 127003

>>127001
I actually understand you a lot…
Still I hope you remember that unless you take care of yourself nobody else will. Please put yourself first nona, and your loved ones if you have them
also these tiktoks are 100% made by manipulative mfers

Anonymous 127011

>>127003
i’m glad at least for the ones connecting dogs on death row to people who have confirmed they’ve saved them at least. i tried to show my local shelter the shelter needing animals transferred out and i hope that eventually no animals have to be put down and they can just be moved to areas with not a lot of strays like where i live. it like destroys me inside seeing this stuff because there aren’t any kill shelters within driving distance of me at all so it’s hard to do anything when the most urgent need isn’t local. i try to focus on wildlife rehab and conservation stuff here. i feel like i obsessively need to focus on fixing things or the weight of the world starts driving me actually insane.



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pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405[Reply]

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
331 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126235

Pros
> has job that would survive AI job takeover apocalypse
> right amount of chubby
> tries his best to do things right by everyone
> decent morals
> is funny
> has interesting things to say

Cons
> does not practice what he preaches
> lies by omission unless you figure out the precise question to get the truth out of him
> completely impotent due to former(?) porn addiction
> brown

Anonymous 126987

>>126126
So untrue it is crazy. If a man was larger than me I would know other women were constantly trying to hide their smirks at how fat I looked. It would trigger my body dysmorphia. Every time I see a woman larger than her man I take a picture of them from behind and draw their outlines and it’s so funny. I once saw a woman who could fit almost three of her boyfriend’s waist in her fat body. I love it when she’s a head taller and her shoulders are wider than his and you know they can’t share clothes. And it makes men insecure and hide in the house and not want to be seen with you. Like play games all weekend when he would have wanted to show you off instead.

Anonymous 127006

> use ctrl f
> type porn
> 45 mentions

0_0

Anonymous 127008

>>126987
are you a new schizo or one of the old ones

Anonymous 127009

>>127006
i feel gross for even thinking of it but it makes me so uncomfortable knowing what men do online and having to wonder about it. i never want to be in a relationship again with someone i know is like porn sick. the absolute stomach lurch from hearing men casually mention all the porn theyve watched. there’s just no way it doesn’t change the way they view women. and it makes me want to cry they want to do those things to me and see me like that rather than like a nice girl who loves their soul.



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Anonymous 126216[Reply]

I Made A List Of Everything Your Doing Wrong and This Argument Seems Like A Great Time To Bring It Up
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126221

>>126219
No I Think You Need To Be Reminded

Anonymous 126230

>>126216
Literally whataboutism…
If it's unrelated, it's unrelated.
Unless whatever happened in the current situation is somehow caused by whatever went wrong in the past. But usually, it's something that's caused by not having fixed something that had already been wrong in the past. But even then, you could focus on solutions instead of just faulting someone to put them down. Some list shouldn't be the end of a discussion, even if the argument likely requires some pauses because people need time to process emotions and if they don't take the time, they might opt for whatever solution is the fastest rather than most effective.

Anonymous 126234

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Ok Kanaya Maryam

Anonymous 126985

>>126230
There are some things that are always going to be relevant. If someone did something like cheat or put their hands on anyone even in the past, every action of theirs should be weighed against it like “Should I bother dealing with someone who leaves the toilet seat up when I know he cheated on me?” and the answer is “No.”

Anonymous 127005




Hikikomori_,_Hiasu…

/rock bottom/ - general Anonymous 76609[Reply]

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
211 posts and 24 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 125611

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In the end it really amounted to nothing, not that life was meant to be to my liking. There's something utterly wrong with me. I don't know where to go but am I supposed to go anywhere?

Anonymous 125666

Retarded boiler in my room started leaking so I put a bucket under it and prayed it would go away. 2 days of bedrotting later the bucket has overfilled and the leak has gone down to my living room forming a big bulge on the ceiling. Probably gonna have to call someone to look at it and they’ll have to go into my depression room. Also I have the worst social anxiety ever. Fuck my life.

Anonymous 126933

Not rock bottom yet but I'm getting there, everyone is currently treating me as if I did something horrific just because my performance at work hasn't been the best for the last few months, this is even stretching into my family thinking this

Anonymous 126990

>>125666
You should be evicted for letting water damage happen. I hope you get sued.

Anonymous 126997

>>126990
i think they own wouldn’t it be their neighbors living room if not



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