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Use the catalog.

How do you get over body dysmorphia?

>Not feeling pretty enough
>Always feeling too thin or too fat
>Feeling invisible around men
>Trying not to say that looks are everything
>Comparing myself

I am a schizoid woman. I spend most of my time thinking about nebulous stuff in my head and doing solitary activities such as diy stuff, tinkering with computers, trying to make various stuff and all. I do not enjoy talking to other people unless they’re invested in my interests. Usually if I speak with someone I just wait for the conversation to end and for them to go away. I have little clue as to why other people are entertained by what they are. I prefer interactions where I don’t need to adapt to the other persons sense of normal. That’s why I dislike groups and often end up antagonistic towards them unless I have a big presence. I don’t have strong attachments.

That is just who I am.

A few years ago I fell out with my then best friend. We hadn't known each other for super long but we had got on well from the first time we met and we had a great friendship. The reason it fell through was almost entirely my own fault, I was super insecure and anxious back then, I kept criticizing her over stupid stuff, kept telling her to break up with her bf (so she could be with me more) and etc.
It really hurt when she cut contact with me, but ultimately I understand why it happened and I have worked hard on trying to fix those issues. I am still a little insecure/anxious, but it is much much better than back then. In the end I guess I kind of needed it.

More recently, I made another friend, same story as with her, we got on very well from basically the beginning, but now the complete opposite is happening. She wants my attention and wants to talk to me but is not interested in what I am doing or how I am feeling. I go out of my way to be help her and she never ever returns the favor. I do not even enjoy talking with her anymore and am basically soft ghosting her now, which she does not even realise because she is so self-absorbed. She feels lonely and wants attention and is doing almost exactly what I used to do back then, but I am not sure I can help her at this point. So what should I do? I feel so hopelessly powerless, I am going to lose another wonderful friend over the same issue and I feel like there is nothing to do about it.

I am addicted to listening to whiney male videos on background. Stuff like blackpill and talking about how OVER and hopeless it is. It's like misery porn.

Anyone else?

My boyfriend who I'll be moving to soon and I had a conversation. I asked if the money he is going to make is going to be enough, and he said yes. I said it would be better if I work too, and not be a leech plus the money I'd bring in would be nice and he passionately refused insisting I wouldn't need to work.
I'll say that I like the idea of being a stay at home mom and stuff, but being completely financially reliant on him is… restricting?
Is this what people call a red flag?
I have to say that he is a wonderful person whom I woud do anything for and I love him very much but every once in a while I think about this conversation.

song lyrics

Again because we need a gazillion of these
Previous Thread >>>/feels/125413

I’m so frustrated and I feel so defeated because I just can’t make life interesting again. I can’t recall the days anymore and they all just fade into each other and time is speeding up so much because of it.

I’m 28 now but I feel old. I think of memories from just 2 years ago and I barely recognize myself in them. I used to be so adventurous and brave, and it felt like every day I’d have meaningful moments, even if they were just by myself.

Now my life is so dull and boring, it makes me want to claw my eyes out sometimes.

2 years ago I moved to the US on a hope and a prayer. I used my life savings to move on a visa and I had 4 months to find a job. It quickly became clear that I might not find one, and I’d have to go home and be broke and move back in with my parents and start over. But with an ego hit from failing in the US ontop of it. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to go through that humiliation and defeat, or even just how much energy it would all take to start over again back home - so I had it in the back of my head that I might just call it quits with life before then.

Because of this I lived each day like it was my last, I spent all my time on the streets day and night. I made so many good memories back then. I used to walk at night around, I remember sitting in the cold air by a pet cemetery at night just feeling so alive. Everything felt so real. I feel like I lived a whole lifetime in just those 4 months. But even before moving to the US my life felt so much more real.

Now everything just feels fake. I can’t escape the fake plasticness no matter what I do. Every person I meet is just sorta the same, I can make friends with them but its like they’re hardwired to never talk deep about anything. It drives me crazy and makes me feel something terribly alone. I got my wish in the end and got a job and stayed in the US, but its like some sick trick where my wish got granted but the catch was everything in life becomes hollow.

I seriously have no light in my eyes anymore. My heart just isn’t in it anymore. I force myself to go to things and talk to people, but everywhere I go I just stand there with my eyes on the ground like a statue. I feel like part of the decor rather than a human.

How can it feel so different in just 2 years? I just can’t feel anything anymore, I can’t even fantasise about a happy life for myself because I can’t even figure out what would make me happy.
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