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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

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Use the catalog.


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How to properly love my boyfriend Anonymous 127930[Reply]

So, long story short my boyfriend has trouble with relationships because relationships with some family members/partners were abusive. Sometimes when I try to discuss things with him his brain goes into 'survival mode' and he gets defensive and assumes the worst out of any critical statements I make. Most of the time I can make him see from a rational point of view and he realizes he's being silly. I can accept that it will take time for his perception of love to be normal. I guess it's just new to me.

We both have never been in proper/healthy relationships. I have never truly loved anyone, for the most part it's only just been infatuation, boredom, and love of the chase. I have been treated poorly by a 'situationship' before but I understood how I was being manipulated and how things would end, I just wanted fun I guess?

He on the other hand has only dated one other person that constantly manipulated, used, and cheated on him. So I understand why he sometimes acts the way he does.

He sometimes freaks out when I try discussing stuff, but since I struggle with communication I have a hard time speaking and go quiet. Then he spirals and assumes the worst. I hate how sad it makes him. I'm trying to be better about communicating with him.

Idk this is half a rant half me searching for advice on how to communicate more effectively with someone like this.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127932

How long have you been together? Are you from us?

Anonymous 127933

>>127932
I'm from the US. We've seeing eachother like 3-4 months but recently decided to go ahead and start officially dating because we realized it was useless waiting if we already do everything couples do. (Met parents and family, go out, tell our friends about each other, he has helped me out financially before) The only thing we haven't done is sleep together.

Anonymous 127938

>>127930
>He sometimes freaks out when I try discussing stuff, but since I struggle with communication I have a hard time speaking and go quiet
This is a huge problem. You both need professional help, consider starting couples therapy.

Anonymous 127940

>>127938
I didnt mention this but I have been trying better to communicate and have been making steady progress. He also acknowledges that this sort of behavior is unhealthy and he is working on it as well. I don't really think couples therapy is the answer as we're both capable of making progress on our own, as well as holding eachother accountable.

Anonymous 127944

>>127930
I mean. its gonna require tons of patience from you, but dont forget you also have needs that need to be met by him. I guess using "I" statements instead of more "accusatory" ones, could prevent him from getting his guard up? For example:
- accusatory: "You didn't text me back😡! what were you doing!!"
- I: "I feel worried and hurt when I see you haven't texted me back, despite being online. It would help me if you could at least send a quick text, that you're busy, so I know you're okay and that it isn't personal."

Try naming how it makes you feel (and hopefully he can start doing this too), and then offer a solution (what he can do) or think of one together. This way he can recognize what behavior needs to be changed and how. Maybe my example was a bit silly but you understand the gist of it.

Furthermore communication is just going to be important, and patience. I see you struggle with this, but youre both going to have to push through to make it work. And if youre both being receptive to one another, it will hopefully become easier as time passes.

I'm also going to GUESS and say that your boyfriend has insecurities due to his past relationship, so perhaps words of affirmations could be nice (that you love him), or along with whatever other love language he's receptive to.


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(un)official blogposting thread Anonymous 69765[Reply]

tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome
272 posts and 56 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127479

I don't have anyone to talk to on my lunch break so I'm on cc. Feels lonely.

Anonymous 127481

I deserve love too

Anonymous 127528

1764038005755101.j…

Reading lolcow's "Get it off your chest" thread and enjoying it so much somehow, almost as much as when I'm venting myself.

I wonder what it is about needing to vent in public, even if you don't want to talk about it with anyone. Just writing a letter no ones gonna see simply doesn't hit the same.

Anonymous 127530

I wanna go for some McDonald's fries rn but it's 6 AM

Anonymous 127943

>>127479
i listen to audiobooks on my lunch breaks


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bf didn’t follow the three month rule Anonymous 127558[Reply]

i was proposed to but there are a lot of red flags and i’m really having some doubts. for starters it was an impulse proposal and i wouldn’t have wanted my engagement photos where i was dressed the way i was. he let me leave the house looking like absolute shit and only posted the ugliest photo. the other photos i don’t have a double chin. other girls have best friends that take them to do nails and secretly get them ready. a female friend was there and knew and didn’t do anything to help me with my appearance beforehand. he bought the rings there. i don’t know if he thinks i’m fat but my ring is sized so poorly i can’t wear it and we’ve been turned down so far at the shops we’ve taken the rings to because they don’t work with cheap metal or rings they didn’t sell there. like it’s not a size too big it’s dangling off my finger and i have no idea why he thought my finger would be so huge it makes me want to cry. my friends are all furious for me. he doesn’t make that much money it’s true but he could have gotten me a real ring. and then i came home. and i found out his ex got proposed to the same day. the same. day. and she had been aware of it and had a spa day with her friends and a gorgeous engagement shoot and party with loved ones. and it’s not even her real engagement party. hes talking about whether or not i think she’ll send him the announcement “to rub it in”. they have mutual friends and i can’t help wonder if my engagement was a last minute response to her engagement so he could post ours first? she had a professional photographer and mailed out announcements before she posted online about it. my engagement photo shoot was also an impulse - we were on a walk with a friend and he snapped some pictures and we called it an engagement shoot. my ex had been talking about his exes prissy snobby etc engagement and i think our friend felt bad for me. since then, he’s disappeared inside himself. he’s on the computer all day. he wouldn’t even pay attention to me right after at my dads birthday party, just sat in a lawn chair in his stupid yellow shirt drinking beer after beer scrolling on his phone occasionally hiding his phone screen trying not to make eye contact with me. we had a talk about it and i said i wasn’t insecure and my friends have been supportive and game with me when he won’t. he got jealous and has been making an effort to join in now and NOW he has a problem with screen time and wants to go out. to places he used to go with his ex or placePost too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Anonymous 127740

>>127732
tbh he's already gonna be super mentally fucked if you leave even into nowhere so you're already doing a good job!
while revenge is based I don't think it's worth getting with someone just to get back at your ex. you need to form important relationships with a clear head. making someone a rebound is traumatizing to them too
ultimately it's up to you tho

Anonymous 127768

>>127732
you need to gtfo NOW. i don't want to learn your name from a true crime podcast. nothing you have said about him makes him sound like he is remotely safe to be around, especially not now. you should tell his exes mum to buy a gun, too.

Anonymous 127769

>>127733
>>127740
>>127768
everything in this entire relationship was about her. she called him out and they had a friend group destroying fall out as a break up. he was alone for years. she mocked him when he bugged her. he suddenly gets inspired to get the exact job, move out, get a girlfriend, try and change his facial hair, fix everything she mocked him for and he even told me he had her to thank for his self improvement. i thought lucky me he grew. until i found out what he’s really like and that he’s still stalking and obsessed with her. i found out he has weird private messaging apps he deletes and puts back on his phone. i can’t get past the password. i think he uses it to spoof a number so he can text her even when he’s blocked or something. i found out so many things we did together were about her - she made fun of him for a certain unromantic date he took another girl on and be posted pictures of me on the same date and talked the entire time about how she wouldn’t like it but i’m okay with it. he said something similar about my own proposal. they had a niche motif throughout their entire relationship he’s suddenly made ours about. as she’s getting married with the same theme. only her wedding is a fucking destination wedding. i wouldn’t be surprised if when i walk out he finds someone else and in half a year i’ll see he did this same wedding with someone he views as interchangeable just to try and make people compare it the one woman who was apparently one of a kind to him. i think he’s going to try and get her to stop the wedding. i wish she didn’t have me blocked and i could talk to her. i don’t know how to find her like he does. i’m going to look over his shoulder more and hopefully i’ll catch a glimpse of something on one of his apps that will help me locate her. i have a feeling i don’t even know the half of it and talking to her while reveal how fake this entire thing has been. we also got engaged after barely knowing each other. a year and a half when his ex took 5-6 years of dating her husband is crazy. i had a sinking feeling when it happened when we were on such bad terms and the only thing that saved our relationship was planning the trip he proposed on. on a walkway nPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 127773

>>127769
after a certain point of having so little in my relationship to talk about i started making content about how we eat different foods from each other even though we both have ARFID because there was literally nothing else in our relationship to make content about, including both of us gaming but none of that ending up as usable content because of his personality. maybe i deserve an affair where it feels like there’s blood in my veins again. the sitting around watching a man unable to eat vegetables rotate through the same five junk food meals that make his cum taste like battery acid has me thinking maybe there is more to life than meal prepping for a 30 year old toddler and watching him fart and disassociate staring at a screen.

Anonymous 127942

>>127773
What the fuck do you mean an affair. Run away ASAP nona, nothing will fix him. It will only get worse, get out before it's too late.


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Opinions and advice about Poly relationships Anonymous 127903[Reply]

Any thoughts and opinions about Poly relationships?

I'm in one myself and it's mostly just connections if that makes sense. I have no interest in being sexual with any of my partners and so far they all respect that. Haven't met anyone opposed to how things are, but I also haven't been looking too hard either. Anyways I'm open to discussing this with the rest of you <3
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127914

you just need genuine friendships.
Don't fall for degenerate dynamics

Anonymous 127918

>>127912
Wow, how strange of you to assume all this! Sorry, I'm not gonna give you your validation. Nobody cares whether youre straight in a monogamous or queer in a polyamorous relationship. Get a life.

Furthermore, you provided 0 information about this relationship besides it being polyamorous, so it's not like theres much to ask about anyway.

Anonymous 127919

>>127903
I mean if they have money maybe it's okay..
Really what you should have is a roster and not need to commit to them or just get friends. Your body is valuable, don't give it away for free.

Anonymous 127927

i don’t understand what opinion are you looking for? like, you seem fine, you want us to congratulate you or judge your asexual connections? there’s nothing to discuss here. enjoy it ig

Anonymous 127941

>>127913
>>127914
This


1000_F_129677710_O…

Ugly Vent Thread Anonymous 124874[Reply]

A thread for women to vent and share their experiences with being ugly and how they cope in this look obsessed society.
86 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127324

Yes, I've actually had suicidal and self-harming behaviors because of it. I was overweight my entire childhood (unlike my mother, who was anorexic and obsessed with appearance). I suffered a lot from her, and she forced me to go on extreme diets from the age of 13. At 16, I gained a lot of weight (when you have nice curves, it looks good, but I was very round, lol).

And I felt disgusting. Everyone at school was disgusted by me, and there was even a very pretty girl who made me feel terrible. Because of those experiences, I suffered from anorexia for two years, and as a result, I looked awful (yes, I'm unattractive at any weight). I still have dark circles under my eyes and a very thin face with a somewhat wide nose because of that illness.

Even my family (moids) have compared me to a super pretty, white cousin. I remember at a dinner they spit in my face telling me she was better, while my face looked like a monkey's. I cried. I locked myself in the bathroom and made cuts in my legs.
I still can't forget all that. How do they expect me to feel loved? How do they expect me to feel hopeful when they all saw something horrible in me, even though I always tried to be a good person?
it might sound weird but i feel jealous of slightly chubby girls,they look healthy and cute with curves while i look flat and my face is masculine because a lack of bucal fat but i cant gain weight no matter how hard i try. I want to kill myself because i cant never be pretty or look at photos of myself with happiness.

Anonymous 127744

There aren’t many methods of coping posted here which is very depressing. Is it possible to not care about this, even temporarily, without convincing yourself that you’re pretty? I find myself being upset about this every waking minute, even when I’m completely alone where it shouldn’t matter.

Anonymous 127929

IMG_0170.jpeg

I hate having a wide face, I can’t even tie my hair back or put it behind my ears because I look like the moon emoji and charlie kirk. picrel

Anonymous 127937

>>127744
> Is it possible to not care about this, even temporarily, without convincing yourself that you’re pretty?
Dear nona, I have some insights for you, do with them as you please. I want you to look back to yourself, as a child. Do you have any pictures to look at, or can you picture yourself in your mind? When you look at her, I hope, you probably think she's quite cute, still happy. I hope, you wouldn't say such harsh things about her, as what you may tell yourself now.

You might think how that's way different. You're older now! And you're right. What was the age you started becoming self conscious? For me it was pre-teen, I think this is similar for everyone, perhaps teen years. While we grow up, and our brains develop, we can process our life experiences and become aware of certain expectations. This is my insight: Unfortunately all suffering and misery can be led back to other people, and the pressure of the expectations they hold. I'm not necessarily talking about a certain person in your life, but how all people basically act and think due to how our society is set up. (and remember: women are, still, always at a disadvantage!!)

So When you feel sad/or are picking yourself apart, think about why? It isn't even making you happy! So why are you doing it? try to remember when you learned to see that aspect of yourself as negative, or even 'important' to think about. A nose is made for breathing for example, why do we care if it small or big? You will find out it will always be due to ideas from other people (either direct or indirect), and even though you can't do anything about this, it does redirect the 'fault' from you, to, well, others. This has made me at least feel better, because I, nor you, don't have any inherent faults or uglyness. It is always a result of societal pressures.

And social media doesn't help this at all. unfortunately the majority of people you see online are -in terms of beauty- exceptional. You don't see these people in regular life, but online it's become 'normalized'. It is a bit cliche, but recently I have completely deleted all social media (even messaging apps) , and I cannot begin to describe the benefits it has brought me. Aside from my immensely improved focus, not having something/someone to compare myself to (sub consciously even) has also incredibly helped my sPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 127939

>>127744
It’s like what people say about grief. You don’t get over it, you just learn to live with it. Just give it time is what I am saying, live life.


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Vent Thread Anonymous 125413[Reply]

I don't even know what number we're on

Previous thread >>>/feels/120288
347 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127923

I'm trying to internalize that you can't argue with someone who's willfully delusional online. The only outcome is that if you're very obviously right and the other person's wrong, other people will pile on and also call them delusional and retarded, and while that may feel just at the time, all you've done is derail the thread and make it a slog for the uninvolved to sift through. The person you're arguing with probably enjoys all the attention too.

Anonymous 127928

You trained me to have an anxiety episode every time youdon't reply for a long time. I can't tell if something actually happened or you just not using your phone

Why not just text that youre busy? That you're not gonna reply for a while because of x or y? Why jut abruptly dissappear? Why induce this anxiety for me and torture me mentally? Why lie that you love me and care about me, only to act like a complete coward when you need to open up to me about something?

This is the last time I let you do this. No more chasing after you and waiting for an answer. Your silence is the answer and if you regret it you'll have to live with the regret for the rest of your life

I'm tired of forgiving you

Anonymous 127934

IMG_0018.jpeg

I’m anxious over something but I can’t quite tell what it is.

Anonymous 127935

>>127920
Thank you for reading all that nona. Going no contact was hard, but it’s been worth it. I hope you get to that place too when you’re ready.

Anonymous 127936

I feel such deep shame for my existence that I can't imagine ever truly knowing someone on a personal level
I'd jump off a bridge if it meant I could be someone else (other than dead)


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Anonymous 127891[Reply]

My brother is always baking and shit and making a mess, yet the hag that pushed me out of her vagina always hovers around and babies him and tries to help. Whenever I go in the kitchen, she glares at me like I'm encroaching upon her territory or something. She nags the fuck out of me and talks out loud to 'herself' but I can hear her from another room. She calls me vile things all because I'm making some fucking pancakes and not even making a mess because I'm not a retarded moid like my worthless fag brother. Boymoms are utter filth. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE WHY DON'T YOU GO SUCK THE FAGGOTS COCK AT THIS POINT YOURE CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH HIM YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFDUCKING WHOOOOOORE. I WANT TO KILL HER WITH MY BARE HANDS STUPID FUCKING EVIL VILE CUNT BITCHJ

Anonymous 127906

>>127891
Kinda hot tbh

Anonymous 127917

my mother/family was like this then i was roommates with an older woman who was a boy mom and acted like this towards me

Anonymous 127924

>>127906
She's not hot, she's a fucking sow

Anonymous 127925

>>127917
Damn anon, you had it worse than I do then. Hope you're far away from them now. Those types of women are worthless cunts that need to be wiped off the face of the earth

Anonymous 127926

American pancakes are disgusting


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Anonymous 127870[Reply]

What does a healthy and good relationship with genuine love look like to you?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127876

the woman has to be protective of herself and looking out for her own best interests. all men want is sex. if they expect a child, they prove they are a provider or it’s the next in line. it is that simply. if you can’t court me and show you can care for me without ulterior motives and resentment at the beginning of the relationship, you are not someone who can be trusted when finances are combined and my child and i will die when i am too pregnant and too injured afterwards to care for myself alone. it’s literal survival. if he doesn’t court you, just keep telling the next ones what he was like and that’s not how it works for you. they’ll eventually start stepping up. if they think you will tolerate being treated as low quality that’s how they will view you.

Anonymous 127877

>>127876
>and i will die when i am too pregnant
Everyone knows to get pregnant only a little bit, some take it too far, but it's something we as society must learn to deal with, if we are to keep this traditional pastime.

Anonymous 127896

>>127870
Lately I'm convinced a relationship with a moid is nearly impossible. I say nearly because I don't want to go too extreme but honestly I think pretty much impossible.
So a healthy and good relationship with genuine love firstly starts between two women. Furthermore I can't say anything universal, as it always depends between people, but good communication is a MUST and I think similar views too. And obviously respect for eachother.

Anonymous 127901

>>127870
romantic love isn’t real in general. especially not between a man and a woman. no man is capable of loving anyone but himself

Anonymous 127905

>>127898
First of all, I'm only speaking about women since this is forum is meant for girls/women. And I can't really say much for moids but I'd assume a good relationship for them would start with moid+moid as well.
Again: I said 'starts'. If you weren't such a retard without reading comprehension skills you might've understood that. I'm not saying its an end all be all.


IMG_9734.jpeg

Anonymous 127849[Reply]

I feel like every feels thread is about boyfriend issues… You all need to grow a backbone and just leave them I don’t understand why that’s so hard. Moids will never be worth all the headache you put yourselves through!

Anonymous 127851

I post a lot in the vent thread and not a single post was about moids I think. at least not about bf issues tbh

Anonymous 127852

well i asked sanic if i should break it off and he said yes so i’m going to

Anonymous 127857

>>127851
Not specifically the vent thread just threads on the feels board in general

Anonymous 127897

PREACH because why are these women letting themselves be dragged down by moids of all creatures


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