still die of laughter at the thought of your dumbass actually believing i was really gonna buy you all that designer shit after you used me and left me for another girl

i’m trying to forgive you. really, i am. it’s just there was so much blood and i don’t quite know what to do with it all now.

you look into her eyes and you think someday you will be loved. but not by me. but you try and do the right thing even though the right thing is always not wasting people’s time. you made a mistake. you’re stubborn and trying to change and trying to prove yourself and you’ve made your third biggest mistake. i hope someday you wake up in the middle of the night and just hop on a train and leave and save yourself. the sunk cost fallacy sank you. i can see it all laid out how you think staying will solve the leaving but the problem was never the leaving. the problem was you got stuck. leaving was the best idea you’ve ever had. go buy a bike with your dad and just fucking get out of here before you end up blowing your brains out. i see the end and it’s not that far away.

you aren’t going to make it living this way.

It’s really stupid how you’re acting like the prize here pal.

>>127746
Wrong

Sad…

Are those men shorter than you? They will tend to be insecure about it. Some exceptions.

>>128385
I’m taller than my boyfriend and it makes me really insecure how often he has to talk about it not bothering me. I hate seeing pictures of his ex swimming in his t-shirts like they’re dresses and knowing his shirts would hug my belly. I’m a head taller than him and it’s super visible.

>>128409
Why care what others think? You’re most likely never going to see others in public again, and friends who make fun of your aren’t really your friends at that point

get jaw surgery

lol what, I think it’s just them being permanently online. Is there anything that makes your art look masc in particular? Seems like a very odd comment from them

>>128422
I'm not really sure ,I posted this photo of this painting I made of my boyfriend and they thought he made it. Even tho I explicitly said I did. They banned me because of my voice ,which I have a deep voice especially now since I'm going through premature menopause ( due to the pcos )

This gotta be fake nobody's this retarded
Then again… i have been wrong before
If true they knew (and were just being malicious)

>>128424
I wish it was ,but it's not. I'm very lonely and wish I had some female art friends. But women hate me because they think I'm trans

Besides satisfying my physiological needs, not much. I think a lot. From the moment i wake up i start thinking and i don't stop thinking until all my energy is depleted. It is lonely to be a thinker, to have realized things that take long time to realize, because you can't explain to others something that takes long time to realize for the same reason you can't learn a language by having someone explain it to you. It takes time and i have spent a lot of it. Now there is an abyss between me and other humans, it feels lonely, but at the same time i feel fortunate, i regret nothing. There is a way back to people, some day i might start helping them, but my compassion is still lacking.

>>125667
Self study. Free courses online. Laugh at streams. Hobbies. Cloud watching, painting, woodwork. Explore. Go on virtual tours. Plenty of free crap to do online and IRL. Volunteer.

I'm over 30. It's possible that I have AuDHD but I never got diagnosed, and never will. I just watch useless videos, scroll useless sites, read useless things, argue with useless people online, and do useless stuff. I live with my parents and help around the house, and I watch movies during days where I don't feel guilty about wasting my time.

I have tried many attempts to change my life, but my attempts always crumble because I try to take drastic steps to change. I try to change to take steps that could be as simple as starting to go out for a walk or as drastic as getting an interview but I could never really make it out. The simple changes don't stick for more than a weak and the drastic changes are too overwhelming I just crash out the next days and completely hit rock bottom again.

Smoke ciggies like a real woman
But in all honesty I just do art all day and lift with my husband , I clean he cooks so it's a good dynamic

>>128299
It has nothing to do with being autistic. Most of them are desperate for some kind of approval. So you should immediately dismiss any kind of judgement or rejection from them, Especially if youre in a higher place and didnt initially come in looking for that kind of chaos. When i was younger i would try to understand them but its better if you dont. If theyre coming from a place of harrassment of any kind theyre like starved dogs already. I honestly dont think most women are any better than men because theyre brainwashed as hell and begging for scraps because of social conditioning when they dont even have to. Even the prettiest women on earth act like this. (Well honestly i think theyre even more brainwashed to behave desperate, because they have to act the part to please the man that already expects them to behave like this.)

most women are male centered and don’t want to be saved. i don’t think women are as bad as men but i don’t think most women are “good” either. they will stop at nothing to actively uphold patriarchal norms and cater to men.

>>128321
This is true tbh. The amount of women I met that forgive anything shitty their husband does just to not end up divorcing is sad. That being said, it's mostly women in their 40s, the younger generations seems to have better bundaries but are still melow af and 4b is definitely not that popular here except not having children (which is more due to financial issues anyway)

Hey I'm sorry you feel this way ,and I feel the exact same way as a autistic masc woman. It's like normie females can sniff we're not normal

>>128399
Ok I needed to think about it a little. TLDR: weird attention disorder thing?

Example 1: Workplace assessment a few years ago. Every new employee had to prepare to answer to 10 questions in a week or two. No matter how much time it felt I devoted I couldn't really understand what they wanted to hear from me and my answers always seemed incomplete. I kinda just forgot about certain details and didn't think they matter?
I had the same problem during uni verbal exams. I don't know when it started exactly but I remember kinda mentally giving up on this back in school.

Now that doesn't apply if the question has specific boundaries (I love multiple choice tests). This also makes me look weird asf when I talk to other people like I'm not paying attention to the purpose of the conversation.
This actually made answering the question itself quite difficult because I keep defaulting to the very subjective side of experiences/perceptions and not what would be most appropriate for people to hear.


Example 2: Very inappropriate affect and it's the actual embarrassing part… I get too excited by (or involved in) stuff that's too miniscule. Like I once heard some dumbass detail about foreign security agents (doesn't matter) and I just spoke to my friend about it and she said "are you okay you sound like you have an episode" (normally she's really nice so it's genuine) I also get frustrated if people don't pay attention to specific small details like I do. Also I'll ruminate over some random detail in the past to the point I neglect my own needs like home getting cleaned or whatever other responsibilities there are.
I understand I'm acting weird but I just NEED to get this affect out or my thinking gets even worse.

Now this all improves the less stress I have and it sometimes feels like I'm almost thinking like a normal person only to get flunged back later.
Yeah I know it's not really a /feels/ thing at this point and more like "go to the doctor" one. I'll update them on that.

>>128402
maybe youre a highfunctioning autist
autism is a spectrum meaning anyone can be varying degrees of divergent neurologically and theres probably some ppl like you who mightve gone their entire lives never questioning it

>>128403
I knew someone would mention it.
I questioned it before and my symptoms overlap a lot, but I don't have stable autistic traits, didn't have trouble forming relationships during childhood, don't have trouble understanding other people's feelings really… Just abstract tasks like I described.
Plus now that I'm in a good environment my wiring is gradually kinda getting back sometimes which is weird.

Everything changed after I survived sepsis with delirium in early childhood, so maybe it's some sort of neurological dysregulation that never been treated. I do notice I tend to get along with TBI victims better kek.

Now I do recall my dad seems to go off rails in conversation too but it's always with the goal of boasting and showing off or something. So maybe there's some weird genetic component too.

>>128406
I’m no doctor but I’d be exploring either ADHD (hyper focus on small details) or depression (over analysis of past events). Either way practicing mindfulness can keep you out of the past and within the moment. Good luck!

>>128408
thanks
I don't know what to say about practicing mindfulness. It definitely helps to an extent to keep myself in check, but I notice I can't be as confident anymore especially because I need to ignore a huge chunk of my thoughts lol so it's kind of cognitively taxing to be mindful…

>ADHD (hyper focus on small details)
maybe, I think it may be an attention thing of some sort

One time I left the stove on and went to check in on something and it was so exciting I completely forgot about the stove. Whatever I left back there was burnt and inedible. Scary stuff, felt outside my control at the time.

My life fell apart unexpectedly and I'm between homes at the moment, couch surfing for the 3rd… maybe 4th time? It seems like every time I get my feet on solid ground something devastating comes along and sweeps it right from under me and I'm on the run again or back to a bad place. I've been going to work with the same two pants and shirts for two weeks and it's embarrassing as hell. I might not even have a job in a month cause of a change in company ownership and drastic changes/budget cuts they are making to top it all off. I'm starting to resent the people around me for having relatively stable, good lives while I'm constantly only just barely keeping my head above water. I try and keep a pretty good attitude despite it all but I'm losing the willpower to keep it up.

chugging down a berry flavor vodka bottle while snacking like a fat bitch rn. nobody loves me and i'm a nuisance to everyone around me. every year i hope this is the year, but it never is.

>>128365
How did you lose all of your things

I miss him so fucking much nonas. Fucking bipolar.

I slept 11 hours and then took a 2.5 hour nap and I'm still so tired. Stress exhaustion is real. Coffee only helps a little.

men love women the same way they love any other object or thing, not a person

men don't love

You probably have problems when you end up in a situationship like that lul

think 'Love' can be very different between individuals overall