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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

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Vent Thread Anonymous 125413[Reply]

I don't even know what number we're on

Previous thread >>>/feels/120288
307 posts and 50 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127538

IMG_20251208_14515…

Nothing ever goes right

Anonymous 127539

>>127538
It's like I'm water and life is wet but water doesn't get wet

Anonymous 127541

my bf is avoidant and has too many moods swings and it’s getting harder to cope with it because he broke up with me once and when he’s feeling low I feel like he’s gonna dump me again

Anonymous 127560

>>127541
i feel the same way about mine. i feel like i’m what he settled for once the girl he is obsessed with got engaged.

Anonymous 127576

>>127541
same, when he leaves again though i will not accept him back again



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bf didn’t follow the three month rule Anonymous 127558[Reply]

i was proposed to but there are a lot of red flags and i’m really having some doubts. for starters it was an impulse proposal and i wouldn’t have wanted my engagement photos where i was dressed the way i was. he let me leave the house looking like absolute shit and only posted the ugliest photo. the other photos i don’t have a double chin. other girls have best friends that take them to do nails and secretly get them ready. a female friend was there and knew and didn’t do anything to help me with my appearance beforehand. he bought the rings there. i don’t know if he thinks i’m fat but my ring is sized so poorly i can’t wear it and we’ve been turned down so far at the shops we’ve taken the rings to because they don’t work with cheap metal or rings they didn’t sell there. like it’s not a size too big it’s dangling off my finger and i have no idea why he thought my finger would be so huge it makes me want to cry. my friends are all furious for me. he doesn’t make that much money it’s true but he could have gotten me a real ring. and then i came home. and i found out his ex got proposed to the same day. the same. day. and she had been aware of it and had a spa day with her friends and a gorgeous engagement shoot and party with loved ones. and it’s not even her real engagement party. hes talking about whether or not i think she’ll send him the announcement “to rub it in”. they have mutual friends and i can’t help wonder if my engagement was a last minute response to her engagement so he could post ours first? she had a professional photographer and mailed out announcements before she posted online about it. my engagement photo shoot was also an impulse - we were on a walk with a friend and he snapped some pictures and we called it an engagement shoot. my ex had been talking about his exes prissy snobby etc engagement and i think our friend felt bad for me. since then, he’s disappeared inside himself. he’s on the computer all day. he wouldn’t even pay attention to me right after at my dads birthday party, just sat in a lawn chair in his stupid yellow shirt drinking beer after beer scrolling on his phone occasionally hiding his phone screen trying not to make eye contact with me. we had a talk about it and i said i wasn’t insecure and my friends have been supportive and game with me when he won’t. he got jealous and has been making an effort to join in now and NOW he has a problem with screen time and wants to go out. to places he used to go with his ex or placePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 127562

Make an account pretending to be her contacting him and see what he says to her.

Anonymous 127563

>>127562
she has him blocked everywhere

Anonymous 127575

>>127563
probably for a good reason. please love yourself and run far away from this man. he is obsessed with his ex and resents you. He wasn't thinking of you when he proposed he had another agenda. You deserve someone who will propose to you properly and buy you a real ring. You sound like a cool person with a good friend group he probably envies you. Please don't marry that man!! Be strong nona, you deserve better!!



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Anonymous 127552[Reply]

how would you feel if a tranny stole your boyfriend?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127554

>>127553
what are you talking about?

Anonymous 127555

like i saw santa clause

Anonymous 127556

>>127552
silly nona
trannies aren’t real

Anonymous 127559

christmas-wish.web…

>>127555
>like i saw santa clause

Anonymous 127574

happened to me twice. feels weird. lol he was so despo for a rebound he dated a troon. kek



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dead bedroom Anonymous 127564[Reply]

post for nona’s in dead bedroom situations

i’ll start:
my nigel and i had sex a lot when we first got together. he was posted on a website for bad dates and he struggled meeting anyone on the apps for years because of a bad hookup who tried to ruin his life. he was very horny and was excited i was the first girl actually into roleplay during sex. we would come up with convoluted storylines and characters. most of our initial relationship was roleplay; we lived and had sex as our characters. eventually though he ran out of ideas and stopped liking mine. i can tell he’s tried to humor me but he is very impatient and he has trouble hiding when he doesn’t like something. his face gets very tense but expressionless and he won’t make eye contact. he doesn’t really want to put the work in to engage with me like that anymore which is fine. but our sex life sucks now. i at least used to get excited by the lead up to it and we would roleplay all day at work come home and have sex. now the lack of foreplay is dreadful. using lube is not the same. he uses me like a flesh light before he gets out of bed and before he goes to sleep and that’s it. when i speak up about it or his friends tease him about his PC being his waifu he’ll make an effort but it never lasts. his heart is never in it. he tells me he loves me just the way i am but he has never loved me the way i am. our entire relationship is spent either fully in cosplay and roleplaying, ignoring each other gaming separately entirely or doing a sort of socially appropriate “ha what would our OCs act like in this situation” covert almost disney bound type day to day roleplaying. he has literally no interest in me outside of these things and having a gf again after years. he has never loved me for me or even wanted me. he made me invent a new person to be that was more interesting to him because i bore and repulse him so much. he would rather watch porn these days. i’m worried hes found other girls online to larp with instead. he’s even made me have sex with a mandolorian helmet on. tell me - if someone loves me the way i am, why do i have to cover my face?

Anonymous 127565

i forgot to add hes not really affectionate - we tried to spoon once and it’s really awkward. when we fight or i feel insecure or jealous he’ll hold me but only for a short while and i can tell he’s antsy and wants to be on his phone. he rolls off of me and falls asleep on his back or with his back to me. i’ve tried to be on his lap and cuddle up but he’ll complain his legs are going numb and it feels weird when i’m a little taller and a little wider than he is. i feel huge honestly. it just sucks to be only used as someone else, impersonally and then not even be able to be held properly without it being awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. our bed isn’t very big and it isn’t ever comfortable sleeping next to him.

Anonymous 127566

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I can't tell if this is a joke or not

Anonymous 127569

>>127566
that’s one of my favorite films!

Anonymous 127570

>>127564
how do you tell if someone almost accidentally said the wrong name or if they were making a sexual noise that turned into your name and accidentally mispronounced the beginning of it?

Anonymous 127573

giga-getting-up.we…

>>127566
>men aren't people
we won, fellow gigas. they admitted it. we are literally gods



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Dealing with Insane BPD People Anonymous 127542[Reply]

Thread to vent about crazy bpd people you know who have ruined your life or ask for advice on how to deal with them/ understand why they do what they do.

I'll go first. So I stopped talking to the bpd months ago after having had enough of her crazy bullshit, lies and vile skinwalking. I forgot she even existed. All was well. Until all of a sudden, a couple days ago, she contacts my closest and oldest friend out of fucking nowhere, in order to """befriend""" her.

They don't know each other, have nothing in common, live really far away from each other. They have only met each other ONCE.
The only reason they are even aware of each other's existence is because of when I briefly introduced them one day over a year ago (I was on an outing with my friend and bpd happened to be in the area…)

ONE DAY. Not even a whole 24 hours, we were there with bpd for 2 hours max. So bpd has only interacted with my friend for a grand total of 2 hours, over a year ago.

SO WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CONTACTING HER OUT OF NOWHERE? I don't understand? Why? Why now? Why would the bpd, who has an entire life (her own friends, classmates, colleagues, nigel, etc.) contact the closest friend of some chick(me) who hasn't even spoken to her in 3 months? What the fuck does she want?

I don't want this crazy freak to swoop in and steal my one fucking friend… She even seems to be skinwalking me since my friend was gushing about how 'similar' the bpd is to me. That's sickening to think about because last time I spoke to the bpd, I was thinking about how she was just too different from me and insufferable. I didn't even have the heart to tell my friend the truth.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127547

>>127546
I wouldn't count on that unless you're fine with letting the "BPD" influencing your friend however they like

to me it just looks like a disaster is brewing, like a person desperate for validation and someone good at giving it

Anonymous 127548

>>127547
I don't know what to do, should I confront the bpd and ask her why the fuck she's doing all this? But then I'd be breaking the months long 'break' I took from speaking to her. I wonder, if that's what she wanted, to get my attention somehow so I open up her messages and reply…

Anonymous 127550

>>127548
I mean if you'd ask me, I don't think their answer really matters. They won't stop unless you're willing to be their new supply anyways. (or manage to intimidate them) I think influencing your friend or other ppl makes more sense. It's a difficult situation but yeah.

The socially acceptable approach would be to explain this person hurt you horribly and to give a warning, if they decide to get fooled still then it's on them to learn their lesson. If they fall for their love bombing then they're getting something they want from them, that's it really.

Anonymous 127557

>>127542
>>127542
tell her the gods honest truth - that you have a friend who you cut contact with who is now trying to get revenge by attempting to contact everyone she knows you know. ask her to please let you know if she starts making up lies - and that she has a history of slandering people. tell her everything this girl has done. don’t talk shit. tell her how scared this is making you. tell her you thought it was a coincidence at first but during the end of the friendship she started imitating you. tell her it was flattering at first but the intensity has increased and you also want to be your own person and no one likes someone trying to become a copy of them and imitate their every move. especially after they were initially the complete opposite of you and jarringly changed when the friendship ended and she started trying to contact people she didn’t know but you did so it made no sense. tell her it doesn’t come across as missing you when she has consistently been malicious and you’re weirded out by this. even just say she was accused of doing this before or has a history of doing this to other people. i’m sure she told you some story where she was the victim and other people were just terrible. she was probably lying about them too. because the thing with bpd is she’s going to get close to your friend acting nice and then she’s going to lie about you. this one might be smart enough to befriend and not go straight to lying. i would emphasize needing to take a break. i would tell the friend you didn’t want to say anything at first in case she was just being nice but it’s escalating. i would honestly talk the least about how weird it is she’s doing this with this specific person. maybe say you were surprised she reached out to her and didn’t know what to say at first and then talk about her weird behavior towards you and skin walking and why you took a break. talk about the drama she’s been in with other people and say specifically “i am/was worried she’s going to try and cause drama for me for being weirded out like she punished them for leaving.” don’t act like a victim. tell them like i tried to trust they had good intentions but they kept harming me and i had to step away even though it hurt too and now they’re scaring me.

do not ever contact this friend again Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 127572

>>127542
what character is this



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Anonymous 127510[Reply]

Hi nonas
I really need help
I really like this guy and he really likes me, we spend all of our time together to a downright obsessive degree, and ive never really experienced something like this because i was not very appealing to boys growing up. But now, Im having trouble going forward with him

He is still hung up kn a girl he dated a year and a half ago. Usually this would immediately turn one away from pursuing anything, but he is so tied to my hip that i dont doubt his affections for me. But he does say things that worry me, I fear I cant shape up to this girl that he had a really thrilling romance with, everytime he mentions her I feel like he misses her more and more. He mentions how nice she was to him, and how well they understood eachother, and it is so affectionate. I am so sad, these days, I cry a lot, but he also freaks out if he feels like I’m upset with him or just disappointed with him, I dont doubt he loves me, but i dont think he will ever love me as much as he loves this other girl. I am really autistic and i have troublr understanding other people on a degree like that. They havent spoken in a year but its still like this.

I feel so stupid and dumb and immature, i feel like a failure of a woman, im 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend, so this is my first time experiencing soemthing like this. Am I desperate? what should I do?
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127531

catRidingElevator.…

Honestly if he feels like someone you want to try and go forward with just have a conversation with him about it. If he's not willing to move on with his ex then it's not worth it. If you have a friend more socially apt you can talk this through with that would help too. I think just asking him to move on would at least put your mind at ease because you tried everything you could.

Also regarding the feeling of love the way I felt when I met who I love it felt like I knew them for only a couple days and for over a decade at the same time. If what you feel is anything like that, this borderline ephemeral feeling, it's worth trying to make it work. Gl.

Anonymous 127533

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>>127510
inagine having a nonvirgin bf

Anonymous 127536

>>127533
A virgin bf that isn't a bitter incel would be so hot

Anonymous 127549

>>127536
>virgin bf that isn't a bitter incel
I don't think that is possible, see above kek.

Anonymous 127561

>>127549
i would never want to be the girl someone loses their virginity to. my fiancé lost his by threatening to break up with his girlfriend. they broke up shortly after. he just wanted to have sex and said she was withholding it from him. thankfully she left him.



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Anonymous 127534[Reply]

Am I a bad person? I always lurk here and read the posts from the nonas, but I don’t really feel anything. I understand the reactions and emotions of people who suffered harm and want to do harm, but the only thing I can do is come up with a very generic opinion about it. I don’t think I’m a psychopath because I do feel remorse for things, but they’re usually petty and small things. Like, I cringe and feel awful every time I remember that I didn’t share my cold tea with my grandmother when she asked how it tasted, I almost cry whenever I think about that. But I felt nothing when I broke up with my ex and left him stranded in the middle of another town he didn’t know anything about.

Anonymous 127535

no, people are pretty much born without empathy that isn't just projective (so cognitive) and have to develop it. you just probably never learned why these things are bad.

I do think ppl overreact sometimes but I understand why. I just don't like it cause shitting on men is better when you're coming from a position of strength and not a position of a little bitch

Anonymous 127537

also you might've felt nothing about your ex cause he was annoying to you but your grandma wasn't. maybe a defense mechanism like emotional detachment, but I can't know for sure from what you said. maybe you just didn't value him like your grandma? either way it's probably way more normal than you think, not necessarily good though



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(un)official blogposting thread Anonymous 69765[Reply]

tell me about your day cc!
stories also welcome
271 posts and 56 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127391

I might have isolated myself out of a group chat
And ngl I don't gaf at the moment.

Long story short there's a manchild who refuses to be held accountable and now his friends are creating excuses for him. And ngl I was mean. But also, I don't think he's the kind of dude I'd wanna hang around with for long periods of time. And he probably feels the same way???? Regardless his friends are enablers

I'm going to lean on my own spirituality more. Maybe I am wrong. But maybe this is the higher power cutting off people who aren't for my highest good in the first place

Anonymous 127479

I don't have anyone to talk to on my lunch break so I'm on cc. Feels lonely.

Anonymous 127481

I deserve love too

Anonymous 127528

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Reading lolcow's "Get it off your chest" thread and enjoying it so much somehow, almost as much as when I'm venting myself.

I wonder what it is about needing to vent in public, even if you don't want to talk about it with anyone. Just writing a letter no ones gonna see simply doesn't hit the same.

Anonymous 127530

I wanna go for some McDonald's fries rn but it's 6 AM



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Anonymous 127525[Reply]

what don’t i understand.

Anonymous 127529

No one has ever loved you for the way you are. He’s a criminal who was all over the “have you dated this man?” apps. You are the exact opposite of his physical type. You do however car pool to events he wants to go in and your friend helps with his cosplays.



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