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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

Do not make threads about the following topics or you will be banned:


- Race/Ethnicity/Nationality (including stereotypes & preferences)
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- (Why) do guys…
- (Why) do you like guys who [insert preference here]
- (Why) do guys like [insert preference here]
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If you want to talk about Radfem/TERF/Gendercritical themes, do not make a new thread. Post in the existing threads on /b/ and keep discussion civil.

Use the catalog.



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THERAPISTS ARE SHIT Anonymous 120688[Reply]

A lot of therapists are unbearable interpersonally. They learn how to manipulate people by choosing their words carefully when they're in school and completely lose the ability to communicate genuinely with other people.

For most people this isn't a problem, but as someone who knows a lot of therapists, it makes it harder to make friends with them. Out of roughly 20 therapists I regularly communicate with, only 2-3 are capable of communicating without using therapeutic techniques. If I say "I'm going on a date and I'm worried it'll go well and I'll have to make lifestyle changes" these people say "sounds like you're worried about what comes next". No fucking shit, dude. You're supposed to laugh with me about it and say "it'll probably be fine" or something

Most therapists are awful at their job. In this training I was in yesterday, the trainer told the group that asking questions in therapy does not help the client. You're just supposed to manipulate, sorry, motivate them into completing their goals by reflecting stuff they say back to them (but only the stuff you like). Mental health trainings are so funny. Everyone just talks about the most effective ways to manipulate people but if you use the word manipulation everyone will scold you.

Most therapists come from wealthy backgrounds, don't have addiction or trauma experiences, and had the resources growing up to learn coping mechanisms to help them live with their extreme neuroticism. I worked with a lady once, we were doing adolescent substance abuse group treatment, and she would get mad and basically ground the clients for misbehaving. Like she was their mother. She believed her role was to "get them in line". She was afraid of drugs after doing pot once.

Another dude i worked with told me this client was "externalizing" and upset because of his divorce. But the client was actually schizophrenic and actively psychotic, but the clinician believed he was "faking" his delusions "to mess with" him. One clinician stopped seeing a client because the client didn't bathe, even though the client was seeing them for depression for which one of the symptoms was not being able to take care of themselves.

Therapists are deeply self righteous individuals and most of them are crap. People usually see 3-4 therapists before they find one they connect with well and feel cared for by. Therapy can be very helpful to you if you are lucky or if you have the time to shop Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 120716

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>>120688
Glad I'm not the only one blackpilled on therapy. It's a bit of a grift, isn't it? I've been through all this in a feels thread before, but it bears repeating: most of our trauma in meaningless. Not that it doesn't affect us, but there's nothing to learn from dissecting it. You cannot 'get to the bottom of it all,' and you shouldn't bother trying, because there is no bottom. Our suffering is absurd, in the Camusian sense. You're gonna have to live and let live. Compartmentalize. Cry when it's appropriate, then bottle it back up and do what you need to do.

It does actually make sense to me that CBT and repeating shit back to people are all that therapists care about. Because for the most part, we know what we SHOULD do; we just can't motivate ourselves to do it. The secret, of course, is that trying to find motivation in the traditional sense of mind->body is for chumps. Mind and body are coupled, like electricity and magnetism. You don't have to logic your way into doing something you don't want to do. Just do the thing, and the mental state follows. That's all CBT is, and it's all that matters for people who really need therapy (because they're trying to fix their mind and they can't).

Ironically, that's not even what most therapygoers are looking for. They just want commiseration, like you were hoping to get from your therapist friends (who, btw, I agree are often clueless, insufferable, sheltered, naive fucks who shouldn't be giving ANY advice to ANYBODY with real problems. I have an old 'friend' who's had 3 failed marriages and wants to be a COUPLES' THERAPIST?!?!?!?). We've become so obsessed with 'self care.' What does that even mean, shlicking in the bathtub with some scented candles? How about 'other care?' And I don't mean picking up the caregiving slack left by useless moids–I mean making actual friends and looking out for each other. Caring about others enough to talk about something real. I hate what social media has done to my generation of people, who grew up online and for whom everything sincere is cringe. We construct fake personas and then literally PRETEND TO BE MENTALLY ILL so that we can pay these near-do-well shiesters to nod along instead of forming any true bonds. Well actually, not everybody's pretending. Some are brainwashed, and some others really do need help, but I just hate this culture so much. People Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 120722

>>120716
Good post but it's ne'er do-well shysters

Anonymous 120723

>>120688
The hint is right in the name.
THE-RAPIST.
If you wanna get gaslighted into destroying your own relationships they're perfect.



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Anonymous 120541[Reply]

Would anyone miss you if you died tomorrow?
10 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120681

My dad and my step mom and my ex bf and my current bf. But my dad and step mom wouldn’t miss me as much as my ex and my current bf tbh

Anonymous 120703

A lot of people. I but nobody really cared when I was in a coma besides my mom.

Anonymous 120707

My cats. One of them is super finicky and aggressive at times so I think if I died he would probably too. When I adopted him the shelter nearly discouraged it. I can't even imagine him going back as an older cat.

Anonymous 120709

>>120703
Why were you in a coma, nona? Are you okay now?

Anonymous 120721

>>120709
It’s very embarrassing, but I tried to kill myself with pills. I’m doing much better now, thank you for the concern :)



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tryharded life but failed maybe Anonymous 120115[Reply]

>be me, young girl
>not really sure what i want to do in life
>figure that if i work hard in school i can get a good job, make money, and raise a family
>do that
>date a guy my age for 6 years, doesn't work out
>ok
>start dating a new guy my age, i love him but he's kinda broke
>graduate with a STEM degree, 4.0 GPA
>no jobs hiring STEM undergrads, want higher degree/experience
>ok
>start grad school as a PhD student
>doing a good job
>exhausted from working on my thesis every day
>paid crumbs, live in shitty apartment
>realize i'm 25
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
26 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120695

>>120694
That is so cool. I don't think they allow it in my country.
Also I have now read the complete post and maybe phd is not nona's thing but I still admire you for it lol

Anonymous 120696

>>120692
Aw… you are so sweet. Thank you!! I don't have it yet though! I was just good at getting good grades so I decided to stick with doing school. But I wouldn't recommend a PhD unless you are already extremely motivated to do independent research, and that is often difficult to gauge for a college graduate.

>>120693
The relationship is new but these are the biggest things: He's extremely intelligent, smarter than me, has a graduate degree, was crushing on me for years online, pursued me, writes me stories, committed to me instantly, buys me little gifts, predicts me well, responds instantly, already booked a flight to see me, listens and remembers, feels guilty when something hurts me and changes, makes me unbelievably horny, and just has an air of superiority. Obviously it's the honeymoon phase but I think these all are really great signs and I wasn't experiencing most of this stuff in my past relationships.

Anonymous 120704

>>120696
>was crushing on me for years online
So you haven't met him in person? Uh oh…

Anonymous 120711

>>120704
I met him in person once when we weren’t dating! But I agree that meeting up is important, and online relationships aren’t that real until you meet in person.

Anonymous 120720

>>120711
As long as he will make more money than you I say go for it



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Vent Thread Anonymous 120288[Reply]

Previous thread >>117577
41 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120679

I wish I was less socially retarded. why can’t I function when people talk to me?

Anonymous 120687

IMG_6617.jpeg

Bugs ate my pinto bean plant

Anonymous 120712

I want to stay in a hotel by myself for a week and just relax.I'm so tired, physically and mentally.

Anonymous 120717

1699332996920.jpg

thinking about how different my life would've been if my mom had forced me to wear a corset from a very young age so my body would develop in a more conventionally "attractive" way and i wouldn't have incurred crippling body dysmorphia and ED (i probably would still have incurred both those issues, but at least i'd look better while suffering)

Anonymous 120719

>>120717
Stomach vaccums if done properly can help with a defined curvier waist.



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I am a lizard person Anonymous 120651[Reply]

I am a lizard person, I am a shapeshifter, and there are many lizard persons out there. We aren’t all the cliche’s many people like to believe where we want to rule the world.. A lot of us suffer with narcissism, and Identity theft / Issues because of this. I sometimes feel alone, and I’ve had altercations when I have shifted on camera, and even I feel really anxious to look back on them because I look foul. I feel sad because every other traumatic event rhag happens to me I shift into a new identity, and face. I do this because I am scared to remain the same identity. I am yet to be apart of the hidden community, but I am not a threat. I’m just a girl
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120654

>>120652
I feel alone sometimes, misunderstood and misrepresented. If you have questions feel okay to ask

Anonymous 120661

I once dreamt of meeting a lizard person, she hypnotised me and used her long tongue to probe my brain through my ear and I passed out

Anonymous 120670

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Hi, fellow lizard. What kind of lizard you are by the way?

Anonymous 120714

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Anonymous 120718

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Anonymous 120690[Reply]

19 years old
I feel so ashamed every time I like someone and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been asked out by a moid. I thought that once I entered later teenagehood, that these relationships would be thrown at me inevitably. However, the only people that have asked me out were other women and for the most part, none of them I wanted to be with. I have tried to make subtle advances on guys before even though I dislike doing it because I'm a freak with aspergers and can't handle myself well, but none of them have really reciprocated in a meaningful way.
There's a coworker I have at my job who is one year younger than me and I can't stop myself from thinking about him. He's not someone outstandingly unachievable and attractive, he's on the shorter side (under 5'10) but his face is so fucking beautiful, I can't even look at him unless we're talking. I hate myself so badly for liking him, yet I can't help myself from thinking about when the next time will be that I'll get to talk to him, when I'll get to see him, what he's doing.
I'd like to think I'm not super unattractive, maybe cripplingly average instead and perhaps it's just my lack of social skills that has done me in when it comes to relationships. I have received compliments from guys before (mostly older), have even been catcalled. I'm pretty underdeveloped for my age I guess, I'm shorter than average and underweight. I've been told I seem like I'm a very awkward person and hard to talk to before by a guy as well. I used to get made fun of a lot when I was younger but I think I grew out of a lot of the stuff I got made fun of for after puberty.
Despite that, I still don't have a boyfriend while all the other girls my age have boyfriends. I don't even have any irl friends as I was very truant in school and ended up being transferred to an online program (though that's another conversation), so I lost all the ones I did sort of have, yet I felt like they were always only friends with me out of pity. I always feel so terribly guilty and horrible every time I begin to like someone, like I've telepathically molested him just by having feelings for him. I can't ever shake this feeling of shame that makes me extremely depressed and I just end up convincing myself I don't stand a chance.
A lot of the time I tell myself that it's not worth it because it'll end up being more trouble than it's worth and that I'm too asocial and weird to be a good girlfriend to anyone. I always feePost too long. Click here to view the full text.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120699

>>120691
Thank you for your advice. To be honest, I don't have any female figures in my life that I can talk to readily. I don't have any female friends at all anymore, even online, though I desperately want them. I feel very shy when I talk to other girls and almost afraid but I desire them in my life. I'm still actively trying to find another girl/girls, preferably being like the friends I had before.
As for the stuff about social cues, I think I get by just barely by mimicking what I see other people do, however there will be points where too much of myself slips out and I embarrass myself. I've done this countless times, even with the coworker mentioned. It's like I just start saying whatever comes to my mind to fill the silence without thinking.
About the gym and dance classes, I think it's a particularly good idea. I get wound up a lot and I find that repetitive movements or exercise helps, though I'm a bit too nervous to approach stuff like a gym yet. I used to bike a lot but I kept getting into weird ass encounters with people (like people yelling bizarre shit at me from their cars) and it got to a point to where I just didn't want to do it anymore.

Anonymous 120700

I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 21, now I'm married. Yeah it's embarrassing but things change.

Anonymous 120705

>>120690
>he's on the shorter side (under 5'10)
This made me laugh lol.

I'd say don't worry about it. Being social is a skill you can always improve if you want to.

Anonymous 120706

>>120690
Teen relationships rarely last. You dodged a bullet.

Anonymous 120715

>>120690
I also struggled a lot with those feelings of shame. I'd compare myself with some ideal version of me that had used every opportunity, done everything right, whatever. The perfect me. And I'd think: "I deserve nothing, because I failed to become that person." That's not what life is, though. Everybody could have done better. It's about learning from your mistakes and improving little by little–building momentum in the right direction. You aren't undeserving of a love because you're imperfect at 19 years old. I can't really help you with social awkwardness, but I'll second the recommendation of getting some exercise. The body controls the mind more than the mind controls the body, so get yourself some feelgod chemicals that way and you'll probably feel a lot better about this crush.



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Have you ever wanted to kill someone? Anonymous 120653[Reply]

Why and what did you feel?
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 120674

everyday tbh

Anonymous 120675

I used to have a lot of hate for some people but looking back, maybe thanks to the hate I felt it made me change myself for the better

Anonymous 120676

I thought about letting my mom die when she tried to commit suicide but i didn’t wanna end up homeless. So I called the ambulance. I want my ex bf new girlfriend to get in an accident. No these thought don’t make me feel bad or like I’m a bad person

Anonymous 120708

I got court mandated therapy because I nearly tried to kill my step-dad when I was 10.

Anonymous 120713

ALL MEN



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did any of you grow up with diagnosed social and/or learning disorders? Anonymous 120701[Reply]

and if so how did they effect your wellbeing as a child and now?

Anonymous 120702

>>120701
yeah now i'm based retard gang



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Anonymous 120650[Reply]

>have bf for 2 months
>cute and romantic, caring, sweet, never pressured me to do anything
>lots of eye contact
>we had sex for the first time last night
>don't really want to, but follow his lead because it's what he wants
>it's over
>he didn't look into my eyes the whole time
>no cuddles or holding me
>cold and emotionally distanced immediately after sex
>things weren't the same after that
>doesn't really be caring or romantic the way he used to
>we don't talk or text as much as before
>ask if he is feeling okay, if anything is going on in his life, if i can help in any way (even if it's more sex)
>get nothing back

Why are men like this?

Anonymous 120656

IMG_0895.jpeg

>>120650
Moids are whores. Trust none of them.

Anonymous 120662

>>120650
You sexed too early, classic mistake. Men willing to wait are out there. Anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries is not worth it.

Anonymous 120672

>>120656
marriage is a horrible word, imagine having to see one certain moid every single day until the very end, that’s so depressing

Anonymous 120677

>>120672
>imagine having to see your loved one every single day until the very end
Sounds great



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